Bad to the Throne

by Gardiner, Jenny

  To which Lorenzo simply flicked the backside of his fingers against his chin in a classic Italian hand gesture. “Ma ne frego. I couldn’t care less. Now let’s be real here: we’ve got to figure out the bigger question,” Lorenzo said, looking up at Zander. “How in hell does she have this picture of you on her phone?”

  “More important, let’s delete the thing,” Zander said, trying to grab the phone from his friend. “But first, I want to text a copy to my phone.”

  “No!” he said. “You can’t do that! This is her private phone. Do you want her thinking you’ve been snooping through it?”

  “But I have been snooping through it.”

  “But she doesn’t need to know that.”

  Zander shrugged. “But that’s me. Starkers. Stiff as a flagpole. It’s my badge of honor.” He said as he punched in his number, then forwarded the image to his private phone.

  “I’m impressed you could maintain that with all the alcohol you must’ve been drinking,” Lorenzo said. “Nevertheless, consider leaving this picture on her phone your penance for your bad behavior.”

  “I suppose it would be a public service to the poor lonely woman,” Zander said. “I’ll leave it to her, a piece of me she can keep with her to warm her up on those cold nights. A little Zander fantasy, if you will.”

  “Your ego really needs to be checked sometimes.”

  “Calling it like I see it, mate,” he said, buffing his nails against his chest. “After all, she does have my naked boner picture on her phone. And it’s been a damned year since that happened. I don’t see a picture of your johnson on her phone.”

  “That’s because I’m not stupid enough to get naked in a Vegas pool.”

  “You say stupid, I say adventurous.”

  Lorenzo just shook his head in dismay.

  The men hunted around on the phone a bit, trying to figure out more about her.

  “She exchanged text messages with some bloke named Rafaele,” Zander said. “Doesn’t sound like a boyfriend. Just sounds like she’s staying at his place.”

  “Give me that thing,” his friend said. A few minutes later, he pulled up a text. “This one seems to be her mother. Why don’t we send her a message?”

  Zander grabbed the phone back. “Aww, her mum. Think her mum knows she’s toting naked Zander in her phone?” He gave a wink. “Let’s send her a message.”

  “And the girl’s name appears to be Andi.”

  “Andy, like the boy?”

  “No, with an i,” Lorenzo said. “So that she could dot it with a heart, no doubt. Girls love to do that.”

  “You mean like a porn star?” Zander laughed at his dumb joke. “Makes no difference, because trust me, that one is lacking heart. If she’s even got a hand-drawn one above her name, she might want to shove it into her chest... Andi, eh? Well, good on that. Andi it is. Now let me make her mother swoon.”

  Dear Mum, he typed. Having a fun time. Wish you were here.

  Lorenzo rolled his eyes. “Be serious. The goal here is to find the girl and give her back her phone.”

  “Okay, okay,” Zander said.

  Hello, miss, he typed, saying out loud: You don’t know me, but my name is Alexander. Zander for short. Your daughter fell in the train station—

  “Don’t tell her that her daughter fell,” Lorenzo said. “She’ll go mad with worry.”

  “Fine,” Zander said. “How’s this:

  Not to worry, your daughter is fine but took a little spill in the train station and lost her phone. By the time we found it, she was gone. Trying to reach her, but to tell you the truth, she’s can be a mean one, that girl. Does she have man issues perhaps?”

  “Jesus, sometimes I wonder about you,” Lorenzo said.

  “Joking, my friend.”

  Lorenzo reclaimed the cell phone and typed a neutral message.

  ...So please if you wouldn’t mind having her reach out to me.

  “Who should she contact?” Lorenzo said. “If she’s going to be in Rome, it would make sense for it to be me. But if she’s going somewhere else, maybe it should be you. But then again, you haven’t done such a good job impressing this woman despite your, er, girth, so maybe we should stick with me since I’m a neutral third party.”

  “No way,” Zander said, shaking his head. “This one’s all mine. She’s got me too intrigued. I want to hear what she has to say. Plus I want to know how she got my picture. She and I have some unfinished business.”

  “Like I was saying, perhaps it’s best to have a neutral third party.”

  “I can promise you never once have I had fun at a neutral third party.” Zander winked.

  “I thought you never met a party you didn’t enjoy,” Lorenzo said as the waiter delivered the antipasti. “And in which you didn’t find your pickup del giorno.”

  “You must think I’m some sort of reckless party boy.”

  Lorenzo laughed out loud. “Think? I know it for a fact.”

  “But seriously, Lorenzo, I’ve got this one. I’m too curious to let you have at it with her. We have to finish what we started. I mean what she started. Or maybe what I started when I ended up naked in her phone.”

  With that he typed in his number and hit Send.

  Chapter Five

  JUST after midnight, Zander and Lorenzo and the two bodyguards who’d been trailing them all night cruised past the line of turista clubster wannabes waiting to be admitted to Shari Vari Playhouse. The later it got, the harder it was to get in, but this was a rule readily waived when you were a prince. Zander of course had little insight into such mundane experiences as waiting in line at popular venues, one of the perks of the job. However, he didn’t mind one bit appraising the clientele as he strolled past them, his eyebrow raised at the line of young women in defiantly short dresses and impossibly high heels.

  “Now this is more like it,” Zander said, rubbing his hands with mock greed as he and his entourage were ushered into the nightclub. “Even if the name of the place does sound like a puppet show.”

  “Don’t judge a party spot by its ridiculous name,” Lorenzo said. “Trust me, this place is what you’ve been craving.”

  They worked their way downstairs, wending through the faux grottoes in the lower level, the bodyguards on either side of them parting the crowd like Moses in the Red Sea. It was almost too jam-packed for gawkers; rather, people initially threw them dirty looks, annoyed to have their dancing and drinking space invaded by someone trying to push past them. Such was the party life.

  Lorenzo motioned for a manager to retrieve drinks for them, and before they knew it, they had a few bottles of top-shelf liquor and a flock of scantily clad young women all to themselves in a dark corner filled with a leather sofa and club chairs. Conversation was near impossible with the throb of electronica that was pulsing through the place, so Zander just sprawled out on the deep sofa, enjoying having three women practically pawing at him to get him to pay attention to them.

  “Wonder how those poor slobs in line are doing,” Zander said, opening his mouth wide to take a bite of some appetizer a tall brunette was hand-feeding him.

  “My bet is bored and tired of waiting,” Lorenzo said, filling everyone’s glasses.

  Zander put his legs up on the cocktail table in front of him and stretched out as if he were ready to spend the afternoon watching sports on the television.

  “Make yourself right at home why don’t you?”

  Zander smiled. “I plan to, thanks.”

  “You are in public, in case you hadn’t noticed. And you are the second in line to the throne of Monaforte.”

  Zander shrugged. “Pretty certain my actions in the past have proven how much that matters when I decide what I’m going to do.”

  Lorenzo shook his head in dismay. “So then what say I remind you that you’re still in the doghouse with your mother, and you know she’d just about send you back to charm school if she knew you were putting your feet on a table.”

  “Charm school,” Z
ander said. “Good one. But I never needed charm school. This is all God-given.” He pointed toward himself with both pointer fingers.

  The women all tittered at that comment, and Zander basked in their admiration by beaming broadly.

  His phone buzzed in his pocket.

  “Crap,” he said. “It’s probably my mother, telling me to get my feet off the table.” He slapped his knee at the joke.

  Zander thumbprinted into his phone and opened up his message. “It’s from her mother.”

  “Andi’s mama?”

  “What other mother would I be texting with?” Zander said as he hit his friend playfully on the head. “One thing I’m not is a cougar chaser.”

  “Give you time, and I’m sure you’ll add them to your repertoire,” Lorenzo said, drumming his fingers. “Well?”

  “Here’s what she said: ‘What a lovely gentleman you are to reach out to me to find Andrea. I know she’s worried sick about her phone. She e-mailed me from an Internet café when she got to Rome to let me know. She was certain it had been stolen.’”

  Zander looked up from reading. “Darn it. I could probably have sold this thing on the black market, what with the picture of that handsome devil, yours truly, on it. Now that I think about it, I should make that her screen saver. What was I thinking?”

  He pulled out Andi’s phone and set about changing the picture on the main screen.

  His female hangers-on just watched, feigning indifference that his naked picture was right there in the prince’s own hands.

  “You’re just trying to impress your little harem there,” Lorenzo said. “But they can tell a photoshopped image when they see one. Right, ladies?” He winked and they laughed.

  Zander returned to the text and continued to read aloud.

  “‘I’m not sure when I’ll hear from Andrea again, but I’ll be sure to e-mail her your phone number and e-mail address so that she can find you as soon as possible. Thank you so much, Alexander.’”

  “You seem like a lovely mum,” Zander typed back to her. “Your Andi is lucky to have you.”

  “I’m even luckier to have her as my daughter. Andrea has done a lot of good in this world. I can’t imagine how far she’d have gone had she not had to quit graduate school.”

  “Poor girl! What was she studying, and what made her quit?”

  “It’s a long story for another day. I’ll let Andi know her phone is safe with you. Thank you for being so kind.”

  Zander tucked his phone into his pocket. “So the plot thickens. Our girl Andi had to quit school. Maybe that’s why she’s so mean.”

  His friend started scratching his head as if he’d hit upon an idea. “You know, I’m starting to like this obsession you have with the mystery girl with the backpack. It’s keeping you from doing all sorts of stupid things with these clingy women in barely there clothes.”

  Zander waved his hand dismissively. “Oh stop. These girls are too easy. Sometimes a challenge is just what a man needs. After all, the hunt is half the battle.”

  “I’m going to quote you on that.”

  “Just as soon as I have my wicked way with them,” Zander said with a wink.

  “You’re nothing but a man-whore.”

  Zander gave a wide yawn and rubbed his belly like a fat lion content after a zebra supper, then took another bite of whatever the women wanted to feed him. Clearly a happy man-whore, at that.

  Chapter Six

  ANDI was having a perfectly fine time, minding her own business and people watching, when Rafaele and Elisabetta pulled her onto the dance floor.

  “Like I said earlier, cara, when in Roma,” Rafaele said as he grabbed Andi’s hand with one of his and swirled her around while twirling his date with the other.

  Soon Andi was caught up in the energy of the throng, pressed shoulder to shoulder with sweaty strangers no matter where she shifted her body.

  It surprised her when suddenly the crowd parted to make way for several fashionably dressed women, classically chic in stark black, showing a lot of leg and even more cleavage. Andi knew she could never compete with women of that level, so instead she tuned them out, closed her eyes, and just tried to absorb the moment, letting the music take over.

  But then she felt someone pull on her hand. Thinking it was Rafaele, she twirled around once, but whoever it was continued to tug at her, so she opened her eyes to see him. That damned prince. Good God, could she not shake this man from her life?

  Andi growled, but it was so noisy the sound was wasted since no one could hear it. “You!” she said, pointing her finger. “What are you doing bothering me yet again?”

  Zander took hold of her other hand and pulled her closer while the posse of tall, dark, and slutty girls all stood nearby glaring, arms crossed, their bodies shifting in a near-imperceptible dance, barely moving to the beat, all while guarding their royal catch.

  Andi kept tugging away, but Zander insisted on pulling her closer.

  “Leave me alone!” she shouted at him, but of course no one could hear what she was saying. Perhaps if someone looked at the grimace on her face, they’d pick up that she was one pissed-off female, but besides being loud, it was dark enough to miss the nuance of facial expressions.

  “Hey, hey, hey! Easy, there, wildcat,” Zander said, stroking her arm as if petting a cat. “Calm down already.”

  Meanwhile, Lorenzo had taken it upon himself to divert the three wicked-hot stepsisters so they didn’t take a turn in manhandling Andi right off the dance floor. Zander pulled Andi close enough to him that any casual observer would think they were simply slow dancing.

  “What is your problem?” she said, swatting at him.

  “I’ve got a surprise for you,” Zander said, leaning in close to her ear and speaking in a singsongy voice.

  “Trust me, nothing you do would shock me at this point. What, did you torture and kill a helpless mouse and now you’re bringing me its lifeless body as a sacrificial gift? Thanks, but I’ve already got a cat that does that for me.”

  “Now, now. No need to be snarky,” he murmured, his lips so close to Andi’s ear that for a minute she forgot she resented the hell out of this man and instead felt all warm and gooey inside as his voice vibrated against her skin. “What is it you’d like more than anything in the world right now?”

  “To have you remove your hands from my body,” she said. “But clearly that’s not on the menu.”

  “You’re a tough one. I don’t think I’ve ever had someone treat me with such complete disdain before. I kind of like it.” He made a purring noise into her ear before pulling back his head and winking at her.

  “Grrr! You’re impossible!” she said. “Why are you bothering me? It was bad enough what happened at the train station, but then that woman, and then you, and then my phone—”

  “Your phone? And what about that woman?”

  “Never mind the old woman. Except that you were exceedingly insensitive to her needs. And my phone? Well, no thanks to you, it went missing.”

  “Wait a minute,” he said, holding his finger up. “Why is it my fault your phone went missing?”

  Andi thought for a second, her face tight with annoyance. “If you hadn’t been so rude about that poor woman, I wouldn’t have stormed off like I did.”

  Zander nodded his head as if he understood. “Oh, okay, I get it. You lose your phone, and it’s my fault it’s missing.” He scratched his very sexy, stubbled chin. “Right. Makes perfect sense to me.” He put his face close to hers. “I’m not the enemy here, Andi.”

  “You might not think so.”

  “I’m not the enemy here, Andi,” he said again, this time in a whisper like he was gentling a wild horse.

  “Wait a minute,” she said, squinting her eyes and balling her fists. “How do you know my name is Andi?” she glared at him. “Do you have some weird palace spy thing going on where you can find out anything about anyone? Did you grab my fingerprints when I fell? Send it off to the secret service in your co
untry? And then you hunt me down here? God, I feel so violated!”

  Zander started to laugh. “You are a piece of damn work, lady,” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out her phone, dangling it from his fingers over her head.

  “My phone!” Andi said, jumping up and trying to grab for it. But Zander held it just beyond her reach. “Give me my phone, dammit!”

  Zander wagged a finger. “Uh, uh, uh,” he said. “Two things first. Number one, I want you to stop treating me like I’m a bad guy, and”—he paused as Andi remained poised to freak out—“secondly, I respectfully request one dance from you.”

  Andi’s face turned red with rage. “Excuse me? You,” she said, jamming her finger into his chest, “want me”—she aimed her thumb toward herself—“to be nice to you?”

  Zander laughed. “Crazy notion, right? Kind of like what should happen when two strangers meet each other?”

  “And then dance with you? Where do you get off?” She no sooner said that than she knew what his answer would be, so she stopped it before it came out. “Wait, don’t even answer that. I know you—it’ll be some vulgar reply.”

  Zander squinted his eyes at her. “What do you mean you know me? Until today I’ve never laid eyes on you. And now twice I’ve been the object of your extremely intense—and dare I say irrational—ire. What gives?”

  While talking, Zander had slipped the phone into his front pocket and then succeeded in shifting their bodies a little deeper into the thick crowd, ensuring that Andi would have a hell of a time storming off this time.

  “What gives is I want my phone back!”

  “Here are your options: you can reach into my pants pocket and dig the phone out. Though you never know what you’ll find when you stick your hand down there.” He arched his eyebrow suggestively. “Or you agree to one dance. I prove to you I’m not the enemy, and then you get your phone and we call it even Stephen. Fair enough?” He batted his eyelashes at her and smiled as sincerely as possible, which didn’t exactly require effort from the man known in the tabloids as Prince Charming. “But first, please allow me to formally introduce myself. I’m officially known as His Royal Highness, Prince Alexander, Duke of Garibaldi, but everyone calls me Zander.” He green eyes twinkled as he dipped his head in a bow and gave her hand a kiss.