Bad to the Throne

by Gardiner, Jenny

  “Precisely,” Adrian said. “When you can have a fulfilling one like Emma here.”

  Emma shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

  “Here, here,” Ariana said, tilting her glass of blood orange juice to toast her son’s future bride. “Just like your father said, Zander. We love you for who you are. Don’t change a thing. Except maybe that propensity to end up in the tabloids after having done something that could embarrass the crown.”

  “One time, I get naked. One time! Must we rehash that again? Things just got a little out of control.”

  His mother shook her head. “No, they were not out of control. You were stark-naked in a very public swimming pool, doing God knows what with a gaggle of equally naked women. Americans, of all people.” She nodded to Emma and said, “Not that there’s anything wrong with Americans, dear. But seriously, Alexander, can you imagine how mortifying that is for your father and me to contend with?”

  “It’s not like I’m the heir to the throne or anything,” he said. “I’m supposed to be the bad boy. The black sheep. Get my wild on.”

  “Any more of that and you’ll see what getting your wild on really is,” Enrico said with a laugh. “You, son, have put my youthful pranks to shame. If I had to do it over again, I’d seek out your advice about how to do it in style.” He gave his son a wink, and Ariana playfully smacked Enrico’s arm, then gave her husband a peck on the cheek.

  “Just another normal breakfast at the palace,” Zander said to Emma. “Welcome to the insane asylum.”

  “Not so fast with the segue, Z,” Adrian said. “I was pointing out a few minutes ago that I’ve not seen you in this sullen state since that day. Which is amazing, really, when you think about it, that you haven’t had your heart broken by a female since you were all of what, seventeen years of age?”

  “Eighteen, thank you.”

  “So who is she?” Adrian said.

  “Who is who?”

  “The bird who’s got you all moonstruck.”

  Zander laughed. “Oh, that’s a good one. Nice try Ade. But I’m not gonna bite. There is no woman out there who’s broken my heart, so you can all call off the puppies and kittens you were going to bring in to cheer me up. I’m just tired, that’s all.”

  “Well, darling, perhaps you should go upstairs for a little nap and start your day after you’re more rested.”

  “And when you’re ready to tell us who she is, we’ll be waiting,” Adrian said, winking as his sister gave him a fist bump in solidarity.

  Zander shook his head. Damned siblings are always the first to know.

  Chapter Eleven

  ANDI’S phone dinged with a text message as she was settling in to get to sleep.

  She pressed on her phone and saw a message from her friend Pippa, whom she’d met in Africa.

  Hey girl! What’s happening? Last time I saw you you’d said you were heading to Europe, so I thought I’d touch base with you in case you’re in the neighborhood ;-). I’m throwing a party at my family’s ocean villa. I think you’d have a blast. How about working your way toward Monaforte for the party of the century? Plenty of food, drink, and hot guys.

  Andi mulled the idea for a minute. She was heading to Switzerland to hike in the Alps for a few days, but it would be easy to get to Monaforte from there. It might be fun to meet up with Pippa’s friends and make some more contacts. Since she was wandering aimlessly anyhow, why not point her meanderings in that direction?

  That sounds perfect! Andi typed. My schedule is pretty much open, so plan on it. I only need to figure out how to get to the villa once I arrive at the train station.

  No worries. I’ll pick you up myself, so send me your travel information. You’ll love it here in Monaforte. Granted, it’s not Africa, but I think the next best thing.

  Andi was thrilled with the invitation. She so enjoyed Pippa’s company and would love to get involved more with the charities Pippa worked with. Granted, it might be a little odd being in Monaforte, of all places, but not like she was going to just run into that Zander character. It was a big country.

  I’ll take the train from Switzerland and will send deets when I have them. See you next week!

  Ciao, ciao, my friend!

  ~*~

  Andi’s legs wanted to give out. She’d been hiking in the Alps for three glorious days, but she was tired. However, she knew the rewards would be spectacular if she just humped it up past this alpine-forested climb because soon she’d see snowcapped mountain peaks, a breathtaking view she never tired of anywhere in the world.

  She tore off a piece of bread she’d purchased that morning at a bakery, added a chunk of cheese and local salami she’d found in a village she’d wandered through a few hours earlier, and took a bite, savoring the sheer perfection of such a simple meal. Life was good: the world was right here for her to take in, with Mother Nature rolling out the red carpet for her own enjoyment. It couldn’t get much better than this, she thought.

  As the afternoon progressed, Andi continued her climb, sometimes on narrow goat trails barely wider than her two feet pressed together side by side. To the left was an eighty-foot drop. She made a mental note not to choose now to trip over tree roots. She could hear the roar of water off in the distance, with the sound growing closer with each step. Eventually she arrived at a powerful waterfall, water cascading down the mountainside so fast Andi knew she’d be swept away if she lost her footing. Soon she found a tiny wooden bridge crossing the ferocious water and decided to sit down, dangle her feet over the side, and just watch the water rush by for a while. She pulled out her phone and popped off several pictures, then opened her phone to check them. Only to be greeted by Naked Zander.

  Okay, okay, so maybe she hadn’t taken him off her screen saver. Yes, he annoyed the hell out of her, but now that she’d been up close and nearly personal with him, she kind of felt a tingly feeling in her stomach when she saw that picture. Which made her wonder what the hell was wrong with her while wishing maybe she hadn’t overreacted quite as much after her little make-out session with the man. It might have been nicer to end the night on one more of those kisses versus the impulsive and maybe, perhaps, the little bit violent smack she’d left him with. She worried she’d need a therapist’s couch to figure out what it was about him that brought out such tempestuous emotions. Good thing there were no therapists here. Just her, communing with the flora and fauna of a most beautiful country.

  She glanced down at her phone (yes, just below that thing of his!) and saw she had a message waiting for her, so she linked to her texts.

  Sweet Andrea, my baby doll, her mother began. I can’t tell you how much I miss you. But I’m so grateful you are having the time of your life.

  Andi typed back. Thanks, Mom. And I can’t say enough how happy I am. I never would have known what I was meant to be doing if it hadn’t been for you.

  And to think, but for that naked prince you’d never have thought to go in this direction.

  Andi blanched. Good thing no one was around to see her. Surely her mother wasn’t referring to their behavior at the nightclub?

  What do you mean?

  When you got fired for taking his picture. Here you thought that was the end of the world, but instead it was truly your introduction to the world. Had that not happened, you’d probably still be here, waitressing and taking a couple of classes while trying to finish your graduate degree.

  Andi shrugged. “Well I’ll be damned,” she said to herself. “She’s actually right. I’ve been so angry at Zander for me getting fired, but it ended up being the best thing that could have happened to me. Damn. I wonder if I should’ve cut the guy some slack.”

  For now she just wanted to reroute this conversation to something a little more user-friendly. Too many pitfalls when it came to that prince guy.

  Funny how things turn out, Andi typed. So what else is new with you? How’s my kitty doing?

  Oh, sweet, innocent Mittsy is just fine. She made a new cat friend three doors
down. They get into those screaming, hissing fights at night, which is my cue to bring her in.

  Mittsy! Where are her manners? Tell her I said she needs to behave in a ladylike fashion.

  Speaking of behaving. I have exchanged the nicest messages with that young man, Alexander, the one who rescued your phone. He is just delightful. And he said to tell you hello and that he’d love to see you again! Andrea, you should get together with him. He seems so kind.

  Andrea gritted her teeth, rolled her eyes, and then shouted out her frustration even though the pounding waterfall drowned out her voice.

  “Argh!” she hollered. “That man! Can I not escape him, even in the wilds of the Swiss Alps?”

  The cutest little hedgehog scurried past as if on cue.

  “Perfect, from one prickly creature to another,” she muttered. “At least you’re cuter.”

  And then it dawned on her: Alexander. Her mother called the man Alexander. She had no idea she was text-messaging with a prince, let alone that prince. Oh, good God. She’d made out with a man her mother had seen naked.

  Andi shrieked a little louder, heard by nothing but a bird flitting by.

  “Breathe, Andrea,” she said aloud. “Deep cleansing breaths. Hold it in and release.”

  She took her advice as she tried to calm herself down. She focused on the sound of a nearby woodpecker along with the soothing swoosh of water.

  “Why should I care? I mean it’s not as if this man means anything to me. I don’t have to tell my mother about our kiss. Or about how he responded to it. For that matter, how I responded to it. Especially how I responded to it. It’s all a thing of the past. I’ll never see him again. No big deal.” She looked at the tall hardwood and pine trees around her and gave herself a mental slap for actually talking to herself. Out loud. “You seriously need to get a life, girl.”

  She took one more deep breath before continuing her conversation with her mother.

  Um, Mom. You know how you keep referring to him as Alexander? Did you know that Zander is a nickname for Alexander? And did you know that Zander is the second in line to the throne of Monaforte? And did you know that I got fired after taking a picture of the naked second in line to the throne of Monaforte?

  It took a while for her mother to reply.

  That’s impossible. It can’t be. My Alexander is just such a lovely young man. And he clearly enjoys your company.

  Andi wondered how those were mutually exclusive with the other side of the man. After all, couldn’t he be nice and be a bit wild? But then she shook her head to get rid of that thought. After all, it wasn’t her place to defend him. Plus he’d mocked her by making his photograph her screen saver.

  Hate to break it to you, but he is one and the same. And to think, you’ve seen him naked.

  She took a swig of water while waiting for her mom’s response to that one.

  If I recall, the man looked pretty damned good.

  Andi then choked on that water, spitting it all over herself. I didn’t think you’d noticed.

  I’m middle-aged, Andrea, not dead.

  Andi started to laugh. What a strange world this could be. I’m sure this puts that whole “Call him, Andrea! He wants to see you again, Andrea!” thing in a whole new light.

  To the contrary. Now that I know he’s that handsome prince, all the more reason you should call him back!

  Andrea paused, wondering what alien had occupied her mother’s body.

  Just joking!

  OMG, Mom, I thought you were serious. Okay, so we can put that whole notion to bed, right? I’m not on a manhunt anyhow.

  Actually, sweetie, the more I think about it, why don’t you give it a go? As long as you promise me you won’t be naked in public with him anywhere.

  Andrea’s eyes grew wider. Her mother was shocking her. So you’re fine if I’m naked with him in private?

  I think you’re old enough to make that decision on your own. Just use protection. You never know where that thing’s been.

  I must be the first woman out there to be deliberately matched up by my mother with a male whore. This one goes down in the record books.

  Maybe he’s not a whore. Maybe he’s just lonely and seeking the solace of someone’s arms.

  Andi squinted at the screen as if her mother could see it. So you think his being naked in a public swimming pool in Vegas is a sign of loneliness? Gotcha. Okay, well, it’s time for me to continue my solitary pursuit of climbing up this mountain and stop thinking about royal pricks.

  Ha! That’s a good one! Love you, Andi-poo! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!

  Which clearly must be very little, judging by her mother’s shockingly progressive attitude.

  Chapter Twelve

  ZANDER was asleep on his stomach by the pool when his baby brother Christopher came up and pressed a cold bottle of beer to his back.

  Zander shot up and swung his arm around, nearly slugging his brother in the face. “Toph, man, you can’t do that shit.”

  “Is that any way to greet your brother you haven’t seen in months?”

  “Yeah, what is with that? Are you hiding out somewhere?”

  Topher sat down on the lounge chair across from his brother and tipped his bottle of beer against Zander’s.

  “Finishing up my studies,” he said. “Nearly done with my master’s degree. Decided to come home to help everyone get ready for the wedding. Though it seems there’s not much for me to do in that regard.”

  Zander nodded. “Don’t you know by now? You put on the uniform that your mother tells you to wear, you show up at the appointed hour, and you smile and wave. Then once you’re in a private venue without paparazzi, you drink heavily and flirt your ass off.”

  Topher laughed. “Same old Zander,” he said. “I’m glad to see your outlook on life hasn’t evolved.”

  Which normally would have made Zander feel almost proud, but instead made him wonder if perhaps a little evolution might be in order. “What do you mean I haven’t evolved? I’m as mature as anybody else.”

  Topher held up his fingers in the A-OK symbol, making a circle of his thumb and pointer finger. “Right, Z. Whatever you say. I’ll remember that when I need a babysitter for my kids one day.”

  “I’d be a terrific uncle,” Zander said a little defensively. “Your kids would be lucky to have uncle Zander caring for them.”

  His brother nodded. “I have a feeling the kids would be eating cereal topped with beer and that by day three of the parents being gone, a strange woman in a French-maid costume would be tending to the little tykes.”

  “You’re a dick,” Zander said, laughing.

  “Takes one to know one,” his brother said with a wink. “But seriously, what is up around here? Couldn’t find a soul when I got home. I called out and went to all the usual hangouts to no avail. Where is everyone?”

  Zander shrugged. “I think Emma’s off with her friend Caroline, who’s been working overtime renovating Adrian’s new apartment in the palace and the house they’re getting once they’re married. If I’m not mistaken, your mother and father are off to Greece for a several days of trade talks or some such nonsense. Adrian? I don’t know. He’s off doing something to prepare to be the king. And my bet is you’ll find Isabella at a spa or shopping for more clothes.”

  “Wow, so glad my arrival has been so highly anticipated.”

  Zander shrugged. “I didn’t even know you were gone, man.” He smiled. “Okay, I knew you hadn’t been around, but honestly, no one told me you’d be back so soon. You’d think someone around here would keep a calendar of our comings and goings.”

  Topher pulled out a sheet of paper and handed it to his brother. “You mean like this?” It was a calendar of the royal family’s official schedule.

  “Okay, fine, they do keep a calendar. But this is just the official stuff. See,” he said, pointing at the list, “ it doesn’t say where Izzy is, for instance.”

  “Yeah. I think that would be called spying if t
hey got down to such a granular level.”

  “Speaking of spying, you should check out Emma’s friend. She’s pretty hot. But she doesn’t seem to be interested in anyone but Darcy.”

  “Darcy? Why would she want him? My ass is better looking than that face of his. Plus he’s commitment averse.”

  “Aren’t we all?”

  “Good point.”

  They gave each other a fist bump.

  “Meh. I’m not looking right now,” Topher said. “Taking a break and relaxing for a few weeks. My head is so tired from all the studying I’ve been doing, I can’t take on anything that will make me think.”

  “Since when do women make you think?” Zander no sooner said that than he started pondering the very woman who was annoyingly not only making him ruminate to the point of distraction but also stressing him out.

  Topher squinted at his brother. “What’s that look on your face for?”

  “Look? What look?”

  “It was weird. I swear, Zander, if I didn’t know you any better, I’d say it was that same stupid lovey-dovey face you had for that girl in boarding school.”

  Zander fell back on the chaise lounge. “My God, enough with Alicia already. I don’t love Alicia, okay?”

  Topher held his hands up as if turning himself in to the police. “Whatever you say, dude. I believe you, okay?”

  “What time is it?” Zander said, changing the subject.

  “Daytime.”

  “That’s helpful,” he said, pulling out his phone and seeing he’d missed a message. “Crap. Gotta follow up on something.”

  He turned over to get some privacy from prying eyes as he read the message.

  Hello, ZANDER. With his name in all caps, he knew he was being taken to task. This is Andi’s mother here. I can’t believe you tricked me and didn’t tell me your name is Zander—that Zander. Zander from the swimming pool at Andi’s work.

  Zander cocked his eyebrow. From the swimming pool at Andi’s work?

  Peggy! It’s so nice to hear from you again, he typed. I wasn’t trying to keep anything from you. Some people call me Alexander, so that’s how I introduced myself to you.