Bad to the Throne

by Gardiner, Jenny

  “Have you learned nothing from me?” Lorenzo said.

  “Yeah. I’ve learned that I’d better stop getting into trouble or my mother will kill me. And you.”

  “Use your powers of deduction,” he said. “When we were together and spying on her phone, did you not text yourself the infamous Vegas picture?”

  “Yeah. So?”

  “So is that not in your text messages with a phone number attached to it?”

  Zander hit his head with the palm of his hand. “My God, Lorenzo. You’re a damned genius. Of course! How could I not have remembered that?”

  “Because all your brain power is most often drained into that second head of yours. The one that causes you all the trouble.”

  “Gotta run, Lorenzo. Time to use that brain of mine in the hopes that it’ll earn me more time using the much more important head.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  ANDI had earbuds in and was listening to her spa music playlist, her go-to tunes when she needed to decompress. She was forcing herself to relax poolside, which seemed ridiculous that she’d even have to put in effort in that regard. But she was ruminating on the events of the night before, so her state of mind was far from serene.

  Dammit, the man had her so fooled. She really thought there was something there with them. And good Lord, he knew how to work his body. Her own body betrayed her—merely thinking about him elevated her pulse and got her hot and bothered. Which ticked her off even more. Try as she might to tamp them down, her thoughts kept drifting to back to Zander’s tongue trailing down her body and the way his moved over hers, skin on skin, so sensual, and that divine woodsy scent that had permeated her olfactory system as she’d buried her face in his neck just as they came together.

  Stop! she said aloud, which was a mistake.

  Pippa stared at her. “I’m sorry, what?”

  “Huh?”

  “You just shouted out ‘stop’ with some urgency. Is everything okay?”

  “Oh, it’s nothing really,” she said.

  “Seriously? Do you always blurt out strange commands like that when you’re sunbathing?”

  Andi laughed. “Okay, fine. I’ll confess. But only because I’ve learned my lesson and won’t ever do this again.”

  Pippa leaned over, totally compelled to hear the story. “Honey, I am all ears. Let me have it.”

  Andi heaved a sigh. “Okay, so it all started in Las Vegas.”

  “As do all good stories.”

  “Yeah, well not usually for me. I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar.”

  “Aren’t those lyrics to a song?”

  “You’re a regular comedian.”

  “All right, I’ll shut up and let you continue.”

  “So you might remember the famous episode with Zander and the swimming pool?”

  Pippa burst out laughing. “Oh, my God. That was the funniest bloody thing that Zander’s done to date. And he’s done some doozies. His mother was crazed with anger over that one. I’ve never seen her so furious as she was when that story exploded.”

  “I can only imagine. So I was working there. When it happened. I impulsively snuck off a shot on my phone, but my boss saw me and he fired me. I went from graduate student with a promising career to out of money and unable to find another well-paying waitressing gig overnight. I was so furious with him, which I know in hindsight was a little crazy that I blamed him for what I did wrong. But still. I totally linked conceptually the end of my academic career with his skinny-dipping in my hotel’s swimming pool.”

  “What a small world, you having seen Zander like that, and then you and I end up friends, and I’m friends with Zander,” Pippa said. “Did you see him here last night?”

  Andi felt the heat rush to her face, and it wasn’t thanks to the cloudless, sunshiny day.

  Pippa squinted. “Oh, I can tell there’s way more to this one.”

  Andi just nodded. “So fast-forward. My mother kicks me out of the nest. Urges me to just leave and go discover the big, bad world. I take off with a backpack and high hopes and start to travel the world.”

  “Not a bad idea. Although what did you do for money? The world is much more fun to travel around when you can afford it.”

  “You don’t say?” Andi looked at her and grinned a crooked smile. “Well, I did the opposite. Cheapest way possible. I think you know by now that I’ve picked up jobs along the way, I’ve volunteered in many places, and often I’ve accepted the hospitality of strangers. Thank goodness for Couchsurfing, which has been a godsend, allowing me to stay places for free and meet amazing people who have shared their homes and lives with me.”

  “So where does Zander come into this? I’m pretty sure you haven’t stayed at the palace, or I’d have heard about that.”

  “So I ended up in Rome. And who do I practically run into in the train station while I’m chasing these kids who stole money from an old gypsy woman but Zander? Who I thought to be particularly rude and dismissive of the gypsy woman and not caring about her welfare.”

  “I think Zander’s been pickpocketed before by a group of gypsies at that train station in Rome,” she said. “So that might explain his lack of empathy.”

  “And I had a whole lot of lack of empathy toward him, mind you,” Andi said. “Of course the Curse of Andrea struck again when I ran into him at a nightclub.”

  “Not a terribly huge surprise as it’s the most likely place to find Zander.”

  “Yeah, well, so it wasn’t fate or anything. Just my dumb luck, because I wanted to go to sleep but my host wanted to party. And lo and behold, there was Zander with a bevy of beautiful women swooning over him.”

  “Again, Zander in his natural state. It’s almost like seeing the great ape at the zoo, only Zander in a nightclub with fawning females.”

  Andi laughed. “Clearly you know the guy’s MO. So I failed to mention that I’d lost my phone at the Termini. And who ends up having my phone but Zander? Who basically bribes me into dancing with him before he’ll give my phone back.”

  “Wait a second. Zander had to bribe you to dance with him?” Pippa knit her eyebrows. “Wow. This sounds like Z’s got the hots for you.”

  Andi blushed again.

  “Oh, wow is right,” Pippa said. “And the feeling is mutual, I see.”

  “You don’t even know the half of this story yet.”

  “I am totally on the edge of my seat. Please, go on.”

  “I’d better cut to the chase. So we danced. And I angsted about whether or not I should like this guy. But I sorta did. Then we kissed—”

  Pippa gasped.

  “I know, right? And I’m going to be honest: it was amazing.”

  “So then?”

  “Ugh. I had to go. He handed me the phone. I turned it on. And the picture on my screen was none other than Zander naked.”

  Pippa burst out laughing. “Typical Zander move.”

  “It was mortifying! It meant he’d been snooping through my phone and found it. And knew I’d taken it, even worse. I was just so mad.”

  “So then what?”

  Andi hung her head. “I’m not proud of this next thing I did.”

  “Oh, no. What?”

  “I slapped him. And called him a pig.”

  “You slapped a prince? Wow, you’ve got some serious balls on you, woman.”

  Andi laughed. “Probably not quite what Zander thought at the time. And upon further consideration, I suspect I overreacted a bit.”

  Pippa’s eyes grew large. “Gee, ya think?”

  “Okay, okay, I know I did. It was stupid and impulsive and hotheaded.”

  “You do know Zander’s a sweetheart, don’t you?”

  “There’s more.”

  “Uh-oh.”

  “Yeah, so cue your party. And by the way, thank you so much for inviting me,” Andi said. “Meanwhile, I’m just hanging out, minding my own business, watching some folks play pool, when Mister Marvelous shows up. Wearing a wet pair of shorts, no shi
rt.”

  “He looks damn good topless.”

  “That sounds sexist.”

  “Just speaking the truth as I see it,” Pippa said. “So let me guess. Z came on to you?”

  Andi shrugged. “In a nutshell, yeah. We both kind of apologized for things, and the next thing you know, dot dot dot.”

  “Dot dot dot means he took you to the screening room, doesn’t it?”

  Andi blanched. “Please, whatever you do, do not tell me he does this all the time with women. And I’m so sorry. I got sort of caught up in the moment. I’ll buy you a new blanket.”

  It was Pippa’s turn to wince. “Don’t worry about the blanket. I’m just glad I know not to use it now.” She winked. “And in answer to your question, hell no! I wouldn’t let Zander use my screening room to bed all those skanky women who hit on him! In fact, I’m surprised he took you there. That place has been a sanctuary of sorts. When he needs to get away, he gives me a call and we hide away in there for hours watching movies and eating popcorn.”

  Relief washed over Andi’s face. At least she wasn’t just part of the harem.

  “So tell me why I didn’t see Zander this morning? I don’t think he’d mind too much if I knew about this little tête-à-tête.”

  Andi pursed her lips, clearly angry. “It seems Prince Charming has proven less-than-charming. He snuck out in the middle of the night and left me to wake alone in the screening room. Which you can imagine was a lovely way to start my day.”

  “Oh, Z... how could you?” Pippa said, shaking head. “Honestly, that shocks me. From what you’ve told me, it sounds like he’s really into you. I don’t know why he’d up and leave you like that. Trust me, the man grew up with manners. He wouldn’t choose now to neglect them, even if he’d been with one of the wallpaper women.”

  “Wallpaper women?”

  “It’s what I call the hangers-on. Like they’re hanging wallpaper. I know, I’m weird.”

  “Looks like I rate no higher than the wallpaper wenches.”

  “Ha!” Pippa blurted. “I like that even better. Wallpaper wenches. Must take note of this.”

  Just then Andi heard her phone ding. She picked it up to see who sent her a message.

  “It’s from him. Maybe I should just delete it.”

  “Are you crazy? Read it! Out loud!”

  Chapter Eighteen

  ZANDER was elated he actually had a way to reach Andi without pulling Pippa into things. The last thing he wanted to do was further complicate this already-complicated relationship. Plus he didn’t want Pippa giving him a heap of shit for his behavior.

  He quickly pulled up the naked picture text. Cara, he typed, thinking that was sweeter than just saying hello. After all, he’d spent half the night going at it with her; he needed to step it up a notch.

  Lorenzo had convinced Zander that he needed a big gesture to woo her because she was going to be teeming with rage after he up and evaporated like he did. Every guy knows that’s a dick move, especially with someone whom you’re interested in getting to know better.

  I’d hoped to get back to you before you woke up that morning, but things got complicated, he wrote. First off, I’m so sorry to have left as I did. I would have woken you, but you were so peacefully asleep I didn’t have the heart to.

  I never pay attention to the family schedule, and I’d completely forgotten I was committed to a breakfast my mother had demanded that I attend. Trust me, she is one person I know not to make mad. I’d promised to be there, and an hour before I was due I was nowhere to be found. She practically yelled through my phone text at me (I can show you—it was all in caps, I swear it!). I raced out of that house so fast, and I only had my keys and my phone and nothing to leave a note with. Plus the room was pitch-black.

  Zander took a moment to gather his thoughts. This was so unlike him to ramble on like this. Maybe it would be easier to call. But of course she’d probably refuse his call.

  And then I tried to reach Pippa, but she didn’t answer her phone. Besides, I was worried you wouldn’t want Pippa to know what happened, so that made me nervous. But then Lorenzo (you remember him, from Roma?) reminded me that I already had your number! Sorry, it’s because I texted my picture to my phone from yours (I never had my own copy! I thought it would be funny to keep. Maybe that wasn’t such a great idea.). Now please, don’t get all wildcat on me about that. What’s done is done, and if I could take it back I would. But then I’d also not have your number. So it all worked out, and here I am. At your disposal (as long as you don’t dispose of me).

  Andi, I had a fantastic time with you last night. I honestly can’t stop thinking about you. I wanted to see if I could persuade you to give me another chance (because right now I know you’ve cursed me out—and I’ll expect you to make a donation to the swear jar my mother has installed in the palace because of my own propensity to swear a little too often). I’ve arranged a little getaway. Just you and me. I’m not going to tell you any details, but rather I hope you’ll just throw your reservations out the window and say yes and agree to join me. I promise I won’t do anything stupid and I won’t embarrass you or abandon you or make you angry. Pretty please with sugar on top and a cherry too?

  As soon as you say yes, I’ll be at Pippa’s place to get you in thirty minutes’ time. In fact, I might just come now and not give you a chance to say no. Even though this time I won’t force you to dance with me. It’s your choice whether or not you want to.

  He reread his text about ten times before he hit Send. And he knew if she said no, he’d be out at Pippa’s house throwing stones up against the bedroom window to lure her out anyhow.

  ~*~

  “Don’t get all wildcat on me,” Andi read aloud.

  “Wildcat?” Pippa asked.

  “It’s something he called me when we danced together. I guess I was a bit ferocious toward the man.”

  “That’s okay. A little ferocity will do him good. Keep reading.”

  Andi was reluctant to read aloud in case he made any too-personal references, but she continued anyway. “I promise I won’t do anything stupid and I won’t embarrass you or abandon you or make you angry.”

  “Oh, man. I think you’ve caught the tiger by the tail.” Pippa beamed broadly.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Zander. I have never seen him besotted like this. He is wooing you, my dear. That is so not Zander. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy. But he’s never needed to work hard when it comes to women. Clearly he’s stepping up his game for you. You’re making the man squirm. That’s so awesome!”

  Andi finished reading the text, then set the phone down and took a deep breath.

  “I don’t even have anything to bring if I went. All my things are sweaty and dirty and super casual. I don’t have prince-like outfits.”

  “Oh please. Zander doesn’t want to see clothes on you anyhow. By the way, I don’t want him throwing rocks at my windows. My father would freak out. Which means you’re going.” She stood up and tugged on her friend’s arm. “Andiamo. Let’s go. We are packing a bag for you.”

  “Wait a minute! I’ve got to tell him something!”

  “Tell him to get his royal butt over here, pronto!”

  ~*~

  Zander couldn’t drive fast enough to Pippa’s place and pulled up in record time. Which sort of backfired, because while Andi was still getting ready, Pippa was ready and willing to grill her friend—just what Zander needed.

  “So, Zander,” Pippa said while they waited in the kitchen. “As currently the sole guardian of our friend Andi, I’d like to know what your intentions are?”

  Zander looked at her, wide-eyed. “You’re serious?”

  She pushed her hands up against his shoulders. “God, no! Just giving you some shit. You deserve it after pulling a runner like you did!”

  “I did not pull a runner,” he said. “I was trying to save my hide, and I had no way to leave a message. If you’d answered your damned phone, I wouldn�
��t have had to crawl back begging for mercy.”

  “Oh is that what you call it? I think the term is more like skulking,” a voice nearby said.

  Zander turned to see Andi, radiantly beautiful in a cute baby blue sailor-striped sundress, her blond hair swinging behind her. The dress matched those eyes of hers that made him swoon.

  Zander broke into a broad smile and pressed his hands to his heart dramatically. “Cara mia,” he said. “I’m so very sorry for that. Forgiven?”

  Andi squinted her eyes at him and pursed her lips. “Hmmm,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her toe. “What do you think, Pippa? Should I cut him some slack?”

  “Tell him the price is dear.”

  “Yeah? You think I should hold out for special treatment?”

  “Without doubt,” she said. “I think this should include a new wardrobe, some fabulous dinners out, perhaps also a spa resort for several days.”

  “I like the way you think,” And said, laughing. “So, is it a deal?”

  Zander held his hands up in surrender. “Whatever the lady says.” He bowed before her and swept his arm in a flourish.

  “Ah, so the prince bows to you, rather than the other way around!” Pippa said. “I’m impressed, Andi. You’ve clearly bewitched the man. Whatever your powers, they seem to be working.”

  Andi just shrugged and lifted her hands, palms up. “Hell if I know.”

  Zander looked at his watch. “We’re on the clock, so let’s get going or we’ll be late!”

  “Late for what?” Pippa asked.

  “Not for you to know. Although you’ll find out soon enough.”

  “Oh, really? Now I’m intrigued,” she said.

  Zander grabbed hold of Andi’s hand and walked her to his waiting car. He opened the door, ushered her into the front seat, then loaded her bag—borrowed along with the clothes from Pippa—into the trunk. He got in the car and pulled out, continuing along the coastal road, headed toward the mountains.

  “So you don’t have a driver?” Andi asked, surprised.