Clay’s attention moved to her lips, so close to his own. Soft and tempting. Fragile and vulnerable.
He cleared his throat and looked away. “How ’bout supper?”
“I’m not hungry, but we can stop and get you something.”
“Then I’ll take you to your dad’s tonight. I hate to leave you alone.”
“No.” Rayna’s eyes squeezed shut. “Just take me home. I need to tell you what’s going on.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I know, but I want to.”
If she didn’t stop looking at him like that, his control would snap and he’d rain sweet kisses over her face.
nine
As they walked across her condo parking lot, Clay claimed Rayna’s hand.
For a moment, Rayna had thought he would kiss her back at the church. And she’d wanted him to. Right there in the church office.
A weight had lifted from her world. How had Daddy borne the pressure of it all these years?
“Listen, you’re tired. You need to go to bed.”
“Exhausted and sleepy are two different things. I’m wide awake. Come inside?”
“I wish I could sleep on your couch, but that wouldn’t do. Maybe I’ll just stay till you fall asleep.”
Once inside, she curled up on the couch. “Want something to drink?”
“I’m fine, but you could probably use a tall drink of water.”
“I’m sure I look horrible.”
“You could never look any way but beautiful.”
Warmth spread over her. Maybe with her face all blotchy, he hadn’t noticed the blush.
“Think I’ll go freshen up.”
The bathroom mirror told the tale. Splotchy, puffy, and red. It was a bad, bad thing for a redhead to cry. Rayna pressed a cold cloth to her face and wiped away what was left of her makeup. Repairs wouldn’t work at this stage. Clay had already seen her at her worst. And he was still here. Could there be hope for their future?
As she entered the living room, he handed her the biggest tumbler she owned, filled with ice water.
“Thanks.” Drier than she realized, she took a long drink then set the remains on a coaster.
“You have a right to know what’s going on.”
“You don’t have to tell me anything. I only wanna help you.”
“What if I need to talk?”
“Don’t you think maybe you’ve done enough talking for one day?”
“Clay.” She touched his cheek. “I’m okay. Sit down.”
He sat in a sleek red chair, while she perched on the edge of the matching couch. “You don’t have to do this. Especially not tonight.”
“Lefty Shelton was my dad’s cousin.” She choked on his name.
“Maybe that’s enough for tonight.” Clay moved over beside her.
She leaned into his comforting arms. “My mother was a high school junior with plans to become an oncologist. Some friends invited her to the rodeo, and she met Lefty. They started dating, and she tried to convince him to get a real job, that the rodeo was too dangerous.”
“Let me guess. He wouldn’t give it up.”
Rayna nodded. “They dated through the rest of high school and split up when she left for college. Daddy had loved her from afar through her entire relationship with Lefty. They started dating in college, got married, and only saw Lefty at family gatherings. Mom quit college after I was diagnosed with asthma because Daddy didn’t trust anyone to take care of me, but he went on to med school. As time passed, tensions with Lefty eased, and my parents started going to the rodeo.”
Clay handed her the water, and she took a quick sip.
“One night, Lefty fell and the bull charged. I was there, sitting in my mother’s lap, feeling her terror. It’s burned into my brain.”
He held her tighter. “You don’t have to tell me any more.”
“Daddy got me and Adam out of the arena as quickly as he could.” She trembled against him. “But my mother wouldn’t go. She went to the hospital with Lefty. Daddy got someone to stay with us and went there to confront her. That’s when she told him. They’d been having an affair.”
Clay’s arms tightened around her. “Musta broke his heart.”
“She chose Lefty over us,” Rayna whispered.
“And you didn’t remember any of this until, in my brilliance, I insisted on taking you to the rodeo.”
She pulled away to look at him. “It’s not your fault. You had no way of knowing.” She stood to pace.
Clay wore a disgusted scowl. “I brought this all back to haunt you. You’d have been fine if you’d never had the disadvantage of meeting me.”
“Not necessarily. Brother Timothy said repressed memories strike at any time. Eventually it would have happened, and it didn’t come at the first rodeo. I did have a slight asthma attack then, too, but I didn’t remember anything until the last one.”
“Why didn’t you tell me the first time?”
“It wasn’t as bad, and I didn’t want you to think I couldn’t handle the job.”
Clay sighed and ran his fingers through his mussed curls. He stood and cut her off, midpace. “I’ve got big, willing shoulders. No matter what you say, I brought this on you.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Either way, let me help you deal with it.”
Rayna blew out a shaky breath and melted into his comforting embrace. “My mom’s back. And my dad’s falling for her all over again. It’s like he’s forgotten everything she did to us. I can’t. Neither can Adam. We can’t even bring ourselves to go over there.”
“Dear Lord, bring Rayna comfort and peace as only You can.” Clay held her tighter.
Praying with the man she loved. What could be better? Except she couldn’t love him. Love only set hearts up to crumble.
“Back when she left, Daddy told us she had to. That was the only explanation we got.”
“You were too young to understand.”
“I used to fantasize that she had some important thing she had to do. That she went back to med school because she was the only one who could go to some foreign land and find a cure for kids with cancer. Or maybe she really died, and Daddy didn’t want to tell us. That somehow she had no choice in leaving us.”
“Here, lay down on the couch.”
She complied, too emotionally exhausted to do much else.
He pulled a warm throw from the back of a chair and tucked her in, as he would a child. With a soft kiss pressed to her forehead, he crossed to the recliner facing her.
❧
Within minutes, Rayna’s breathing slowed. Fast asleep. Exhausted.
Clay turned off the lights except for a lamp and brushed another kiss on her cheek. She didn’t stir. He hated to think of her waking and reliving the evening alone. With heaviness in his chest, he left.
Her past held a doozy of a horror. How could she deal with the knowledge that her mother had chosen a man over her? A cowboy at that. No wonder a relationship with him gave her pause.
Clay climbed into his truck, fished his cell from his jacket pocket, and punched in the number. It rang twice.
“Dr. Landers here.”
“It’s Clay Warren. I just left Rayna’s place, and I’m calling to let you know she’s okay.”
“The session went well?” Worry resonated in his tone.
“Yes, sir. Said she feels better than she has in years. She’s asleep. Worn out. I hate for her to be alone, but she wouldn’t let me bring her to your house.”
“You’re sure she’s okay.”
“Yes, sir.” Clay started his truck. “I’m thinking I might stop by to see about her in the morning.”
“Good idea. You do that, and have her call me.”
❧
Persistent tapping. Rayna squinted. Sun streamed through the open curtains. Why am I on the couch? Fully dressed. Stiff, she sat up and stretched. Then it all came back.
“It’s Clay, you all right?”
“I�
��m coming.” She smoothed her hands through her hair. No use. She glanced in the mirror and groaned. At least the blotchy redness and swelling around her eyes were gone.
“Hey.” He leaned against the door facing, looking like six million bucks. “I didn’t want you to be alone this morning.” He pulled her into his arms.
His thoughtfulness lodged a lump in her throat. Oh God, please work things out between us. Help us to find a happy medium together. Work a miracle here. I don’t want to lose this man.
“I called your dad last night to let him know you were okay. He wants you to call him. Are you going to work today?”
“Yes. We have a meeting at ten o’clock to go over the final details of the ad campaign. Then it’s on to the production company for more commercials.”
“Are we still on for Saturday night?”
She nodded.
“I’ll scoot and let you call your dad. He’s worried.” Clay tipped his hat.
“I really appreciate you. For everything you’ve done.”
He winked and her heart skipped a beat.
❧
Clay wore his usual casual attire topped with a tuxedo jacket and looked good doing it.
“Are you sure this is okay for a Christmas party?” He parked at the upscale restaurant. “You’re all sparkly.”
“You look great.” He might not fit her lifestyle, but even though she wore strappy high heels, he had a good inch on her. A definite plus, since she towered over so many men, and she hated to wear flats with a dress.
“So do you. You’re gorgeous in black.”
Reminding herself to stay seated, she waited until he came around the truck to open her door and give her a hand since she had heels on.
“Sure you don’t want to go somewhere else? Just the two of us?”
“Clay, stop. I’m getting employee of the year.”
Inside Morton’s Steakhouse, she weaved her way through the throng into the dark-paneled private dining room. Occasionally, she stopped to introduce him.
“Rayna.” Kendra and her ample cleavage cut them off. “Hey, want to sit at our table?” She motioned toward Gabby, Adam, and a man Rayna didn’t know.
“Okay.”
Kendra whispered in her ear. “I can’t believe you brought the cowboy.”
If you could’ve pulled it off, you’d have brought him.
Clay pulled out her chair.
“This is my date, Jake. This is Rayna Landers and Clay Warren. We recently wrapped up a huge ad campaign for Clay.”
“What kind of party is this?” Jake huffed. “No alcohol.”
“I warned you, babe.” Kendra trailed her fingertips down his shoulder.
“My kind of party.” Clay winked at Rayna.
“Mine, too.” Rayna stashed her evening bag under her chair. “Actually, this is the first time Gabby and I have come in a few years.”
“Yes, of course, the virgin twins don’t drink.” Kendra smirked.
Warmth enveloped Rayna from her head to her toes.
Adam cleared his throat. “Both admirable attributes. Last year at the party, a few people got out of control and the company considered canceling the whole thing, but Gabby started a petition to have an alcohol-free party.”
“Yes, and I thought about not coming.” Kendra rolled her eyes.
Clay surveyed the menu. “What? No barbecue?”
Rayna laughed as he leaned near her ear.
“What do you say we go out for coffee after this shindig?”
His whisper sent a delicious shiver over her.
❧
Sitting across from Rayna in a corner booth at the coffee-house, Clay thought life couldn’t get any better. Machines whooshed and steamed with a mouthwatering mix of aromas as the barista concocted their drinks. At the late hour, only a few other caffeine addicts occupied tables.
“Sorry you were bored tonight.”
“I wasn’t bored.” He squeezed her hand. “How could I be bored with you?”
The barista brought their order.
Rayna tasted her frothy latte. “We’d barely arrived, and you were talking about leaving.”
“I just wanted to be alone with you.” He traced the back of her hand with his fingers. “What’s with Kendra? Is she really your friend? You don’t seem to have anything in common with her.”
“We don’t. Gabby and I are on a mission with her. Kendra isn’t a Christian, so we’re trying to witness to her.”
“That’s awesome. I’ll pray you make headway.” Clay sipped his Colombian blend. “Was it true, what she said about you?”
A pretty blush crept up her neck to wash over her face. “Yes.”
“I’m glad.” He intertwined his fingers with hers. “How about we spend the day together tomorrow? We’d start out with church then lunch at the ranch and horseback riding. Then evening church.”
“Sounds nice.”
“Have you talked to your dad this week?”
“A couple of times.”
“I know you don’t want to deal with your mom, but I don’t think she’s going away.”
“What makes you think she’ll stick around this time?” Her voice caught.
“Rayna?”
“Can we not talk about this?”
“People make mistakes. Maybe your mom realizes she made one in leaving. Give her a chance.”
“I think her mistake was coming back. I can’t let her hurt Daddy again.”
“Your father seems like a reasonable man. He can take care of himself.”
She sighed. “I’m tired of this wall between us. Daddy and I used to be so close.”
“Then take the first step in scaling it. How about after lunch tomorrow, we visit your folks?”
“I’m willing to do anything to get my father back.” She sipped her latte. “Even if it takes making nice with her.”
“Maybe your relationship with your mom can be repaired.”
“I doubt it, but I’ll see if Adam can join us. I’m kind of worried about him. Since this whole thing came out, we haven’t talked much.”
“You both need to deal with things. Together.” He brought her hand to his lips and brushed a kiss across her knuckles, relishing the shudder that moved over her. “And I’ll be here to help any way I can.”
❧
Clay pulled into the Landers’s drive. The thick olive pullover, corduroy dress pants, and loafers felt weird. Like it wasn’t his skin. With no hat, his curls flipped out every which way.
He caught Rayna staring as they walked to the house. “What?”
“You look a lot different.”
“Good or bad?”
“Good.”
“I clean up good, huh?” He winked. “I figured since the rodeo is a sore spot with your bunch, I’d drop the usual attire.”
The door swung open and her mother forced a big hug on Rayna. “I was so glad you called.”
Rayna’s arms remained stiff at her sides.
“Name’s Clay Warren, ma’am. Rayna and I—we, um—work together. Nice to officially meet you.”
Mrs. Landers shook the hand he offered. “Thank you for bringing Rayna to see me.”
Tension swirled through the room as Dr. Landers and Adam brooded on the couch.
Rayna turned to Adam. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“It’s nice to have the whole family together.” Rayna’s mother tried to keep things light.
“None of us but you ever went anywhere,” Adam snapped.
Mrs. Landers’s face crumpled. She clasped a hand to her mouth, spun away, and ran from the room.
“That’s enough.” Dr. Landers slammed a fist on the coffee table. “We’re not here to hurt one another.”
“That’s all she’s ever done.” Adam stood. “I’m leaving.”
Rayna followed her brother to the front door. “I’m sorry, Daddy, we just can’t do this.”
“I’ll be right there, Rayna. You wait on me.” Clay’s jaw clenched as the door shut behin
d her. “Sir, if I may. My pastor helped Rayna deal with some of her feelings. Maybe he could help.”
“I resent the insinuation. If my family needs any counseling, I’ll take care of it.”
Clay held his hands up. “Sir, I don’t mean any disrespect, and I’m certainly not a professional. But. . .”
“But what?” Torment pinched Dr. Landers’s expression.
Clay’s heart dipped. “Have you ever thought maybe you’re too emotionally involved to help set things straight?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dr. Landers paced the living room. “Who do you think you are nosing in our affairs? You’re just a. . .”
“A cowboy. But when I was a boy, my dad lost. . .” Don’t mention any names. “A real good friend, and it ate at his gut. He started seeing Brother Timothy and talked it all out. After that, he could deal with it. I’m thinking if talking helped my dad, maybe it could help your family.”
The pacing slowed and Dr. Landers stopped at the window. “I fell for Dayle when Lefty introduced us, but I never let either of them know it. Then he hurt her. And I tried to pick up the pieces for her.” He swallowed hard. “I’m not sure she ever really fell in love with me or if she just needed me.”
“She loves you, sir. I could see it in her eyes.”
He hung his head. “I failed her.”
“Loving someone is never failure.”
“Are you and Rayna involved?”
“I’d like to be, but she thinks she’s got too many issues to be pondering a relationship. Especially with someone in my line of work. I’d better get her home.”
Dr. Landers nodded. “Thanks for trying to help. I’ll think about what you said.”
Clay hurried to the truck and climbed in.
Rayna tried to stifle a yawn.
“I’m glad you waited. I was worried you might catch a ride with Adam.”
“We bonded in our mutual rage.”
“Doesn’t sound healthy.”
She rolled her eyes. “What were you doing in there?”
“Trying to talk your father into taking your whole family to see Brother Timothy.” Clay started the engine. “Tell me something. Did you miss your mom when you were a kid?”
She turned toward the passenger’s side window. “I longed for her. A feminine touch. Someone to put ribbons in my hair and give me perfumed hugs.”
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