“I love him.” Lacie shrugged. “And he loves this.”
Rayna could see enough. As events began, she cringed, hid her eyes, peeked through her fingers, and ducked her head. Despite the fidgets, she made it the entire night without her heartbeat multiplying or her breathing becoming minimized.
She even cheered when Clay won Stockyards Bull Riding Champ and Mel came in second.
When it was over, with Clay still in one piece, she ran to meet him. “Hey.”
His eyes widened, and he scaled the fence. “What are you doing here? Tell me you sat in the car and just now came in.”
“Sorry, I can’t do that.”
“Now Clay, Rayna was a real trooper tonight.” Lacie patted her shoulder. “Nary a gasp, and she did it for you. Don’t be too hard on her.”
His arms came around her, and she gave herself over to the scent of dirt, sweat, and animal. With her head resting against his shoulder, it was paradise.
“What are we gonna do?” He propped his chin on the top of her head.
“Let God work out the details.”
“Are you really okay?”
“I’m fine. The bronc and bull ride made me nervous, but I never got short of breath or anything like that.”
“You can’t come again.”
“I will if you do.”
“So that’s how it is?”
“I won’t hide from my fears.” Except where my mother is concerned.
“Did you have to use your inhaler?”
“I used it in advance—just in case.”
He pulled away and kicked a clod of dirt off his boot. Dust flew, and from the smell of things, it hadn’t only been mud. A muscle in his jaw clenched. “That’s why I don’t want you here. I don’t want you taking extra medication to deal with my livelihood. It would be better if you stay away from the bullpen.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
“Because the man I love is in the bullpen.”
With a heavy sigh, he looked heavenward then took her in his arms again.
“Ladies and Gentlemen.”
Rayna jumped.
“Find that special one and hold on tight. It’s almost midnight. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.”
Clay captured her chin and tilted her head back. His kiss was soft, tender, and held such promise. “I’m glad you stayed.”
“Me, too.”
❧
Rayna sat in the kitchen she’d grown up in, across the table from her mother. For the first time. That she could remember anyway. Adam sat beside her, and Daddy stood facing them at the island stove. Sausage sizzled and the spicy aroma made her stomach growl.
“I failed you both as a mother.”
“I won’t let you take all the blame, Dayle.” Daddy pointed his spatula in their direction. “You never had a pattern to follow.”
“True.” Dayle closed her eyes. “My mother left when I was just a baby. I never thought I’d follow in her footsteps.”
“I failed all of you,” Daddy said. “I asked Dayle out when I knew she was on the rebound. I knew she didn’t love me, but I thought if I could get her to marry me, she’d be mine.”
“Nonsense, Nick. None of this is your fault.” Dayle swiveled her chair toward him. “And I did love you. I still do. But I didn’t realize what I had until it was too late.”
“Then to top everything off, I made you quit school.”
“I needed to be home with the kids.”
“You saw your dream of being a doctor slipping away, while I pursued my degree. No wonder you resented me.”
“Let’s stop apologizing and blaming ourselves.” Dayle turned back to the table. “Save this stuff for our therapy sessions. This family begins now. Now that I see the blessings I have.”
“You mean the same blessings you threw away for Lefty Shelton?” Adam crossed his arms over his chest.
“That’s enough Adam.” Daddy rounded the island and set a platter in the middle of the table with a thump hard enough to shatter the stoneware.
The golden omelets laden with green peppers, sausage, and cheese turned Rayna’s stomach. “I’ve lost my appetite.”
“Me, too.” Adam stood and grabbed his jacket. “Besides, we don’t want to be late for church.”
“Maybe we could all go together.” Dayle pushed her plate away. “That’s what I wanted to tell y’all this morning. Your father and I went to see Brother Timothy last night. I accepted Jesus.”
Daddy cleared his throat. “And your mother and I are planning to remarry.”
Rayna gasped.
“Please.” Daddy claimed a chair between Rayna and her mother. “Can’t we have a nice breakfast and then go to church as a family? I think if Jesus can forgive your mother, the two of you can.”
A chair scraped the floor and Adam rejoined them.
Rayna hung her head.
Daddy took their mother’s hand. “Let’s pray over our meal.”
❧
Clay knocked on her condo door. With the season starting all over again, so would Rayna’s anxiety. Did he really want another season? He’d traveled too much, missed too much church, and missed too much life lately. But one more world title and he’d have officially lived up to his father’s legend.
Her door swung open. “The right guy, at your service.”
She lunged into his arms. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me, too.” He backed her inside, away from prying eyes, and shut the door. “But I have bad news.”
“What?” She pulled away to look at him.
“I have to leave town in a couple of days. CWW set up several interviews and public appearances.” Clay rolled his eyes. “At least it’s not a modeling gig.”
“I’ll miss you.” Her words were barely a whisper.
“Me, too.” He plopped on her couch, feeling like country in the middle of Vogue magazine. “Tell me how breakfast with the folks went.”
She blew out a big breath. “Tempers flared. Accusations flew. My mother announced she got saved. Daddy announced they’re getting married again, and we all went to church together. You’ll never guess what the sermon was on—forgiveness.”
“Wow. It’s awesome about your mom’s soul. Was your dad a Christian during their marriage?”
“No. He started taking us to church after she left us. I guess he didn’t know where else to turn.”
“I’m glad he turned to the right place. You know, most folks would be thrilled if their parents reunited.”
“It’s a lot to take in. I’m having a hard time putting it all in the past like Daddy has.”
Clay patted his shoulder.
She laughed and took his cue, laying her head on the waiting shoulder.
He inhaled her flowery scent. “Play hooky with me tomorrow. Spend the day with me at the ranch.”
“Sounds tempting. I haven’t called in sick or taken a personal day in two years.”
“Tell you what. You might want to spend the morning praying, or with your folks, or sleeping in. I’ll expect you around noon. But if you need more time, let me know. I think right now, repairing your family needs to come first.”
“You must be the perfect man.”
“Except for the rodeo thing.”
She shivered against him.
❧
Rayna stood in the ranch hallway glaring at the picture of Lefty Shelton. Strong hands gripped her upper arms from behind. She jumped.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” Ty steadied her.
She turned to face him.
“He was a good man in the beginning. The fast lifestyle, the women, the money—it all went to his head. I tried to witness to him, but he wasn’t interested. When he died, I felt I’d failed him.”
“If only we could force others to do what we want.”
“If only.” Ty patted her shoulder. “You get plenty to eat?”
“Too much. Durlene’s taco soup warms the sou
l.”
Clay stepped into the hall. “There you are. How ’bout watching me train a horse?”
She shivered. “A bronc?”
“Nope. Natalie bought a new mare, and I’m training her for barrels.”
She’s still lurking about? “Sure.”
“You young folks, skedaddle.” Ty jammed his hat on. “Have some fun.”
Rayna slipped her coat on and followed Clay outside. The crisp late-January air burned her lungs as they walked to the arena. She perched atop the fence to watch him at work.
The white mare had a speckled shadow across her hindquarters. “What breed is she?”
“An Appaloosa.”
Clay led the horse around the barrels in a tight cloverleaf formation.
“How does that help her learn to run barrels?”
“It gets her accustomed to the pattern. We’re just getting started.”
He clicked his tongue. “Good girl. That’s it.” His eyes shone as he was obviously doing what he loved. And it was safe.
“When do you plan to quit the rodeo and give the ranch your full attention?”
eleven
“Only when I get too old, busted up, and decrepit to ride.” Clay shot her a crooked grin.
“You can’t be serious?”
“I’m dead serious.”
His word emphasis sent a shiver over Rayna.
“Hey, I was just kidding. Busted up and decrepit really aren’t my style.”
“It’s not funny. You told me you only got into the rodeo to buy this place. With the CWW campaign, you could quit now.”
“To be honest, at the end of every season I’m tired and I ask myself, is this it? But I’m not ready to quit just yet.”
“Why?”
“Somewhere along the way, I fell in love with”—Clay closed his eyes—“the sound of the crowd chanting my name before a ride. The feel of the rope wound around my hand. The knowledge that it’s me or the bull. The rush of adrenaline and the smell—”
“Of manure.” Sarcasm dripped from her words.
His eyes opened and anger blazed in their green depths. “You don’t even try to understand.”
“No, I don’t. Because I still can’t handle the marriage and kids thing if I have to worry about whether you make it home from the arena every weekend.”
One eyebrow rose. “We’re talking marriage and family now?”
“At least I know why I never wanted those things.”
“You were afraid you’d end up divorced like your folks.”
“How did you know that?”
“Because I know you. I’ve watched you watch her. So you’ve faced your fears, and you’re up to the challenge of living.”
“Yes, but not with a bull rider.”
“What happened to both of us adapting?”
“What if you die?” Her voice quivered. “Where does that leave me?”
“I could get hit by a truck anytime.”
“Yes, but when you ride bulls, the odds are against you living to be an old man, and I’d very much like you to do that for me.”
“I can probably count on one hand the cowboys who’ve been killed by bulls.” Clay stopped the horse, gave her a sugar cube, and walked over to the fence. “Remember, I’m ten feet tall and bull proof.” He moved in for a kiss.
She jumped down and backed away. “I won’t stand around and watch you get yourself killed.”
“I don’t plan on getting killed, so there’s nothing to worry about. How can I convince you that nothing’s gonna happen to me?”
“By quitting the rodeo.”
“I plan to. Eventually. Just not now.” He sighed and gazed heavenward. “Why am I the only one who has to give up something?”
“I don’t understand why you’re so intent on holding on to this—hobby. Okay, it helped you pay for the ranch and keep your employees, but you don’t need the money anymore.”
The muscle in his jaw twitched. “It’s not a hobby. I happen to love what I do.”
“I don’t.”
The fence creaked as he vaulted over it. “We can work this out, can’t we? Surely there’s some compromise. I already told you, you don’t need to come watch.”
“Trust me, I’ve seen enough bull attacks to last me a lifetime.”
“It’s settled then. You stay away from the rodeo, and I’ll do my best to avoid bull attacks.” He tipped her chin up and kissed her.
As her resolve puddled at his feet, her cell phone vibrated. She pulled away. “I need to get that. Could be the office.”
Clay blew out a sigh.
“It’s supposed to be a workday, so I’m on call.” She dug the phone from her pocket.
But it was Daddy.
“Hello?”
“Rayna, I have an important invitation.” Her father sounded desperate, which meant it was about her mother.
“What is it?”
“We’d like to get remarried on our original wedding date, Valentine’s Day, and we want you and Adam to be there. I know it’s still a few weeks away. But I wanted to give you plenty of time to work it into your schedule.”
She took several deep breaths. “I’ll have to check my calendar. What if we can’t make it?”
Silence on the other end. For a moment, she wondered if he’d hung up.
“Then I guess we’ll get married without you.” The line went dead.
She closed her eyes.
“What is it?”
“An invitation to my parents’ wedding on Valentine’s Day.” She leaned the top of her head into his chest.
His arms came around her. “I’d be honored to be your escort.”
Just like he supported her in everything. Why couldn’t she bring herself to support him? Because supporting him meant keeping him in the bull’s eye. And she couldn’t lose him. She’d just found him.
❧
The early February breeze curled inside Clay’s collar.
Lacie tapped her foot. “Hey, you guys ready?”
Clay scanned his loaded extended cab truck. “I think we’ve got everything we need for the trip.”
Lacie always supported Mel.
How had Clay allowed himself to fall for a woman who hated his work? What was it about her—the woman who wanted none of the things he did? Her vulnerability? Her wounded soul? She brought out the protector in him. Made him want to make sure she never got hurt again. Yet his profession made her hurt every weekend.
“What’s wrong, cowboy? You look like your favorite horse died.”
“Girl trouble.” Mel clapped him on the back.
“Rayna asked me to quit the rodeo.”
Lacie closed her eyes. “And you blew up?”
“Not exactly, but it’s like there’s been a big Brahma standing between us ever since, and we try to ignore it.”
“What now?”
“I don’t know.”
“Clay Warren.” Lacie pointed a red fingernail in his face. “Rayna’s a great girl, but if you’re gonna be safe tonight, you need to concentrate on the bull. I’ll pray about the city girl for you.”
❧
The insistent knocking sent Rayna scurrying to the peephole. Daddy and Adam. She opened her condo door.
Daddy’s shoulders slumped as he stepped inside, followed by Adam, who was holding a shoe box.
“What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” Daddy’s eyebrows rose. He shut the door behind him. “The woman I’ve loved all of my adult life is back. She’s a Christian. She wants to marry me. She wants to be a mother to the two of you. She wants to make up for lost time, and you won’t let her.”
“Whoa.” Rayna splayed her hands as if to ward off a blow. “She’s the one who left—for some cowboy, and you expect us to just forget that?”
Daddy’s throat convulsed. “She left me, too. But that’s behind us now. This is our chance to start over. For all of us.”
Rayna looked to Adam for backup.
He stood there, holding
his box, mouth clamped shut.
“Can you help me out here, bro?”
“Mom and I had a good talk last night. We made peace.”
Her eyes widened. “Mom?” You mean the cowboy-chasing hussy who abandoned us?
“Let me talk to her.” Adam steered Daddy toward the door. “I should have come alone.”
“Watch the tapes, Rayna. I want our family back together. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” Daddy looked sadder than she’d ever seen him. “For all of us to be together.”
The door closed behind him with a thud.
She turned on Adam. “How did she brainwash you?”
Adam let out a big sigh. “Sit down and close your eyes.”
“Why?”
“It might help you keep an open mind.”
Unconvinced, she sat down in her favorite chair and closed her eyes.
“Mom’s mother left when she was two. Her dad paraded different women in and out of her life until he died of cancer when she was fifteen. She went to live with her divorced grandmother, her only family, who encouraged her to dream of being a doctor and helped her through college.”
The image of a lonely little girl came to life in Rayna’s mind.
“She never stepped foot in church until she went with us to see Brother Timothy. She was never around younger kids. Though her grandmother was good to her, she wasn’t a very demonstrative woman. She never hugged Mom. She encouraged her to be a doctor so that someday when she ended up alone, she’d be able to take care of herself.”
Rayna opened her eyes. “She was following the only pattern she knew, but that doesn’t make it okay.”
“No, it doesn’t. But she’d wanted to be a doctor for years. She was in med school, on task for her dream, when I was born. Then another baby.”
“Who became an asthmatic toddler, and Daddy made her quit med school.”
“She spent her days changing diapers and wiping runny noses while Dad went to school and got his master’s degree.”
“Okay, that would frustrate me, but that’s what you sign on for when you get married.” Yet she’d asked Clay to give up his dream.
“But in her family, if things weren’t going well, someone left. Then add to the mix her high school sweetheart. He pushed her buttons with a med-school-shaped moon. Do you have a VCR?”
Rayna frowned. “It plays both. Why?”
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