Good Greek Girls Don't

by Georgia Tsialtas

  ‘When then tell me – who’s the old dog?’ She’s obviously had an effect on Chris. His whole demeanor changed when she showed up. His whole body is tense.

  He’s wound up tighter than a jack-in-the-box.

  ‘I don’t want to talk about it, Des.’

  This is not good. This is so not good.

  Chris clammed up after that. I was lucky to get a lift back home. Although, the way he acted I would have been better off catching a taxi. I don’t understand it at all. Does he love her? Am I a rebound relationship? Does she have some sort of hold on him? I have to know what’s going on. I have to know what part this Danielle played in Chris’s life. Is she still significant in his life? Did she hurt him?

  I can’t concentrate on the bridal magazines that Effie and I are going through. I’ve come over here to escape from the wedding expo that’s happily going on without me at home, but had I known that Effie had bought up all the bridal mags on the market I doubt that I would have sought comfort at her place. A wedding is the last thing on my mind at the moment. And, God help me, I’m terrified it might be the last thing on Chris’s mind, too.

  ‘What’s wrong, Des?’ The fact that I have my sister worried means that I am lousy at hiding things. If she can see through me, anyone can. How can I tell my sister what is going on, when I can’t even figure it out? ‘You’ve flicked through all these magazines without looking at a single dress.’

  ‘Effie, I’d have to be sure that there’s going to be a wedding before I can pick a dress.’ There, I’ve said it. The thing that’s been eating away at me since this afternoon. Is there even going to be a wedding? Or has this Danielle woman just come in and totally turned our worlds upside down?

  ‘Desi, what have you been smoking? Of course there’s going to be a wedding.’ I don’t want to burst my sister’s bubble. She was so miserable at her own wedding, she should at least get to enjoy mine. That’s a really nice feeling, knowing that she wants to share in my happiness. A few months ago, I wouldn’t have believed it.

  ‘You’re right, Ef. I’m just being silly. Mum and Yiayia and all their plans are getting on my nerves, that’s all.’ Effie’s got enough on her plate with her rotten, no-good, lousy excuse of a husband. She doesn’t need to worry about me and Amazon Silicone Woman. ‘You know, we haven’t even set a date, so there’s no rush to find a dress yet. I’ve gotta go, Effie. I just remembered I told Chris I’d go to his place so we can try picking a date.’ Believable excuse for a hasty exit. But I am definitely not going to Chris’s to pick a wedding date. I’m going to make sure that there is still going to be a wedding to pick a date for.

  Now I am officially confused. Chris is behaving like this afternoon never happened. Like we never ran into this woman who obviously meant a great deal to him, who obviously had some effect on him given how wound up he got when he saw her. It’s almost as if I imagined the whole thing. Almost, but not quite. I have to know what went on between them. And Chris has been avoiding the topic like the plague. We’ve watched a movie, had a bite to eat and still nothing. This is killing me. But more than that, it is eating away at Chris. I can tell. No more pussy footing around.

  ‘Chris …’ How do I do this without sounding neurotic and jealous and all those things that are very unattractive in me?

  ‘Hmmm?’ He’s not paying attention. His mind is on her. I can’t lose him after all we’ve gone through.

  ‘What happened with you and Danielle?’ I come out with it. Hinting got me nowhere, and subtlety is not my strong point anyway.

  ‘Nothing. We went out for a while and it didn’t work.’

  Anyone who had seen this afternoon’s exchange would know it’s not as simple as that.

  ‘What did she do to you?’ It must have been something big for him to react this way.

  ‘She didn’t do anything, Des. I did.’

  Huh? He’s the old dog that can be taught new tricks?

  ‘It was a long time ago and it’s ancient history. I’d forgotten about it until today.’

  How do you just forget? I mean, Denny was not a highlight of my life but I don’t think I’ll ever forget about what happened between us. It just doesn’t work that way.

  ‘Des, just let it go.’

  ‘I can’t. I tried to let it go when I found a note that she left you and I tried to let it go when she left that message on your answering machine … Yeah, I found the fucking note with the happy photo of the two of you. I tried to convince myself that I was being paranoid for nothing.’

  Hearing her voice today, I know that she was the anonymous message on the machine Chris convinced me was a wrong number. ‘I can’t let it go because the way you reacted to her tells me that you haven’t let it go.

  You still have feelings for her.’

  ‘No, I don’t.’

  He’s answered way too quickly. How can I have been so blind? It all makes sense now. He would never talk about her. I mean, I’m not stupid, I know that Chris is in his thirties and there has to have been someone before me. I’d be worried if he hadn’t been involved with anyone before me. But in love with someone before me?

  A more passionate love than me? It’s not supposed to be that way. I’m supposed to be the one great love and the rest were just preparation. I know Chris loves me. But what if he loves her more?

  ‘Des, I was the arsehole in that relationship, okay? You don’t need to know what happened.’

  How bad can it be that he’s kept it from me this long? Just what is Chris capable of? Can I marry him without knowing?

  ‘Yes – I do need to know. You know all about me. You know the worst of me and you still say you want to marry me. Why can’t you give me the benefit of the doubt like I did when I told you about Denny? Trust me like I trusted you.’

  ‘Believe me when I tell you it’s all over between me and Danielle. All you need to know is I love you, Des and we’re getting married.’

  End of story. Chris isn’t giving anything away. It must have been pretty major if he won’t tell me. Is he afraid that if he tells me I won’t love him? Is he afraid that I will turn away from him?

  I know there’s no point in pushing him, but I can’t stay here tonight. I need some time away from him to think.

  I pick up my bag. ‘I love you, too, Chris. I’m going to marry you. But I’d prefer to do it with no secrets between us.’

  ----------24----------

  ‘Alright, Ef. What’s up?’ My sister does not summon me to her place very often, especially given that she’s always at my place. I should have known that she didn’t get me over here to bestow wedding advice on me. Which I guess is a good thing. Chris hasn’t been the same since that afternoon we ran into Danielle. We’ve set a date and booked the church, but right now I want to turn back time and make Chris tell me what actually happened with her. The wedding date is getting closer and closer and, even though he says he loves me and can’t wait to marry me, I just can’t let this go.

  My sister’s mind isn’t on me at the moment either. She’s making me nervous. She’s like a bloody yoyo. Up and down, up and down. She’s making me dizzy. Although I have to admit, ever since Randy Andy took off to Greece, my sister has blossomed. That’s the only word for it. She’s no longer hiding behind frumpy, matronly clothes – instead she’s wearing tops and skirts that show off her gorgeous curves. She’s wearing makeup that helps to bring out the blue in her eyes and she’s finally let her hair down out of that tight ponytail that used to make her look so severe. She’s showing off her beautiful wavy hair. She looks alive.

  ‘I’m divorcing Andreas.’

  Jeez, she doesn’t pull any punches. Straight to the point.

  ‘About bloody time, Ef!’ Yahoo! I don’t think I have ever hugged my sister so hard. ‘What made you finally come to your senses?’ I’ve been hassling Effie about ending her sham of a marriage ever since the day she came clean to me about it.

  ‘Let go of me and I’ll tell you.’

  Okay, okay, I’
m sitting, got my coffee in front of me and am ready to hear all the gory details now.

  ‘You know Andreas and his girlfriend are in Greece, right?’

  Quick nod of the head. Of course I do.

  ‘He’s decided he wants to stay there with her.’

  Makes sense. Andreas was born in Greece and from what we know about his little slut, she’s an off-the-boater as well.

  ‘And he wants to marry her.’

  ‘She’s pregnant, isn’t she?’ She must be. ‘And all of her family is over there and they have no idea that he already has a wife and four kid’s, right?’ I don’t need to be a psychic to figure this all out.

  ‘Yeah. And now he’s begging for a speedy divorce.’

  ‘So you’re going to drag it out as long as possible?’ My sister is smarter than I gave her credit for. She’ll drag it out long enough for his little girlfriend’s family to beat the shit out of him for getting her pregnant and not marrying her. Effie will get our relatives in Greece to track down her family and let them know that the slime already has a wife and kids and that little home-wrecker knew all about it when she honed in on him.

  ‘No, he’ll get his super fast divorce.’

  What? That makes no sense at all. She’s lost her bloody mind. Why the hell is she letting that slime off the hook? She should be stringing him up by the balls.

  ‘Before you go off your tree, Des, I’ve worked it all out.’

  Yeah sure. This I’ve got to hear.

  ‘I’m keeping the house and the holiday house, and the savings are getting transferred into my name. I’m going to sell the business and all he gets from the whole lot is twenty-five grand.’

  Ah, she’s good. He’s getting close to nothing.

  ‘He’s desperate, Des. So I told him that if he wants this divorce, it’s going to be by my rules. Otherwise I’ll tie him up in court for years. He knows if he doesn’t agree to everything his little bastard will be starting high school before he can marry that bitch.’

  I don’t think I’ve ever been prouder of my sister. I knew she could get her revenge – we are sisters after all. But this is even out of my league.

  ‘And he’s agreed to it all?’ Wow, this must really be hurting wog man where it counts the most. His wallet.

  ‘He’s walking out on his kids. So I think I’m being more than generous with my offer.’

  God. Poor Effie. More than ten years of marriage and it’s come to this. This has got to be hell for her. And the kids? How are they going to feel knowing that their no good bum of a father walked out on them? It’s not fair.

  ‘If he fights me, I’ll wreck him, Des. Just like he’s wrecked me for the last ten years.’

  ‘So what are you going to do?’ She’s got her whole life ahead of her. The kids will all be in school soon and she’s selling the shop. She can’t sit around the house watching daytime television for the rest of her life.

  ‘Well, I’ve thought about it a lot over the past few weeks … ’ Seems that my sister has been doing a lot of thinking lately. ‘ … And I’ve figured it all out. I’m going to take the kids on a holiday after your wedding. Maybe go to Disney World. I’ve already got a buyer for the shop, so that’ll all be over soon. Then I want to go back to uni and study business. I’ve run my own fish and chip shop for last few years and I’ve learned a lot from that, but I think it’s time to do something that’s a bit more meaningful, with better hours so I can spend more time with the kids.’

  Wow. My sister has finally stood up and taken responsibility for her life. I guess this is the first opportunity she’s really had to do it. There’s just one small issue.

  ‘Have you told Mum about the divorce yet?’

  ‘Not yet.’

  I didn’t think so. I know my sister and I have grown up a lot over the last year, but neither of us have grown the required balls for confronting our mother.

  ‘I was wondering if you wanted to be around as backup when I tell her.’

  ‘You bet I’ll be there. Hey, if she’s busy stressing about this, she’ll stay off my case about the wedding.’

  Every dark cloud has a silver lining.

  ‘Bitch.’

  I know Effie doesn’t mean any harm by it. It’s kind of ironic, though. I’m getting ready to marry the man of my dreams while Effie is finally getting rid of the man of her nightmares.

  ‘So when are you going to drop the bomb on her?’ Kaboom. Hiroshima will look like a ripple in the ocean compared to the explosion we’ll see when my mother hears that dreaded ‘D’ word. Heaven forbid that divorce would enter her perfect family. The relatives and the villagers will never stop gossiping about it. For shame. We’re plunging the knife into my mother’s heart. I can’t stop laughing. I can just visualise my mother. It’s hysterical.

  ‘Stop laughing, Des! I’m going to come over and tell her tonight. And I need your support.’

  ‘Ef, I’ll be there okay. It’s the least I can do.’

  ‘Mum, are you okay?’ My mother is surprisingly silent. Where is the explosion? Where are the fits of rage at being made a laughing stock in front of the whole Greek community? Why is Dad sitting here instead of bonding with his vegetable garden? This is making no sense at all. My family has been invaded by aliens. I want my predictable, neurotic family back. Effie just dropped her bombshell and none of the typical reactions have occurred yet. Maybe it hasn’t sunk in yet? Maybe there’ll be a delayed reaction?

  ‘You okay, Effie?’

  Mum finally speaks! The silence has been broken. Not the way that I expected, but at least it’s not deathly quiet anymore.

  ‘I’m okay, Mama. For the first time in ten years, I am okay. Or I will be.’

  I actually believe her. Effie is going to be fine. For the longest time she believed that she was weak and didn’t have the strength to stand up for herself and go after what she wanted. But look at her now. After ten years of a bullshit, paper-only marriage, she is walking away and starting all over again as a single mother with four young kids. I don’t think I would have the strength to do what she’s doing now. Holy cow! I think that for the first time in my life I am in awe of my sister. Am I actually experiencing admiration for Effie? Who would have thought I would live to see this day?

  ‘You make that bastard pay.’ Was that Dad? Showing emotion? I don’t think I have ever heard Dad swear. Not even when his beloved soccer team is losing or when one of his lemon trees has to be chopped down. This is so weird.

  ‘You make sure he get nothing. Bloody bastard come into our home, our lives, and he do this. I kill the bastard!’

  I have never seen my dad this angry. It’s a good thing Andreas is in Greece at the moment because I really don’t think that anyone would be able to stop Dad if he got his hands around Randy Andy’s neck. Dad looks like he is going to explode. He’s usually so placid, so chilled. He usually doesn’t really care about what is going on in our lives.

  ‘Dad, calm down. He is going to pay. He’s losing everything – money, the kids, everything.’

  Our father may be hearing Effie’s words but I doubt they are sinking in because he’s nowhere near calming down.

  ‘You know all this?’

  Oh, God, Mum, please don’t tell Dad that you knew what was going on and didn’t tell him. Mum, please be smart and for once in your life just keep your mouth shut.

  ‘Tell me. How long this bastard make fool of us?’

  ‘Dad, no one knew until a short time ago. I didn’t tell anyone what he was like.’ Oh, God, this is going to get deep. Effie has finally gotten Dad to sit down and she’s kneeling beside him, holding his hand. They’re both crying. ‘I thought it was my fault, Dad. I didn’t want to let you down. I didn’t want you to think I was a failure.’

  ‘Silly girl. You my baby. I help you. You in trouble, I help you. I fix for you.’

  ‘I had to fix this on my own, Dad. I love you, but you couldn’t fix this for me.’ There comes a time in our parents’ lives when they have to
realise that they can’t just fix everything for their kids. That there comes a time when we have to clean up our own messes and that they can’t make everything better by feeding us. I think my parents are finally having that epiphany.

  ‘No good. Bastard. Cheater. Liar.’ Where is Dad going? I don’t think that he can handle much more. I think he has been overwhelmed enough and needs to seek some solace. I’ll find him in the greenhouse or the garage later. In the meantime, I better stick around here and make sure Mum and Effie are okay. I think Dad needs to cool off a bit before I try to be the good daughter that I am.

  ‘Mum, are you going to say anything?’

  Good question. Is Mum actually going to speak to Effie?

  ‘No good. Divorce no good. Is sin.’

  Oh, hell, Mum’s going to get all religious on us now. I think Dad’s reaction was better. I know that marriage is supposed to be forever and that the church frowns upon divorce and all that, but I don’t think it is written anywhere in the bible that a woman should stay with a lying cheat who knocks up young bimbos and moves overseas with them for all of eternity.

  ‘Ma, get off your high horse will you? You think Effie should stay with that bastard so that you can look good in front of all the wogs? Why do you want her to be miserable for the rest of her life just so you can look like a good mother?’

  I can’t help myself. ‘You’ve been telling me for months to leave Effie alone, that she needs our help. Well, Ma, she’s here and now you’re shafting her. Good one, Ma.’ My mother never fails to live up to expectations. Just when you think she may actually surprise you, she turns right back into her wonderfully predictable self.

  ‘Shut up, Despina.’

  Oh, yeah, telling me to shut up is really going to work.

  ‘Wedding should be forever. This no good. Andreas no good to do this to family. Babies need their father.’