Secret Sass

by K. Lyn

  "Leave. Me. Be."

  Then he stormed out of the bedroom.

  Pain and hurt filled Victoria as she went to her bedroom and stared at her empty bed. Had it really happened? Had she really just made passionate love with a man and then have him shove her away a few moments later? What had happened in Leon's past to make him so cold? She bunched her fists and felt tears well up in her eyes. She wanted to talk to Leon, but there was one thing she felt for Leon that she had never felt before – fear.

  There had been such relentless anger in his eyes as he gazed at her. She feared him, though she still loved him all the same. She knew she would be foolish to go after him tonight, though she wanted to. Tears filled her eyes at the thought of what had occurred between them as she threw herself face down onto the bed.

  But as she lay on the bed, tears streaming down her face, she could not chase away the image of Leon staring down at her with affection. Some part of him had to care about her, she realized, or else he wouldn't have been able to gaze at her the way he had. She had spent years in the arms of a man who did not care for her, so she knew what true coldness looked like. Leon did not have that. Leon was warm and sweet and kind. And trying too hard to shove her away for reasons she did not understand.

  In frustration, she balled the blankets between her fists and glared down at the bedspread. Her leg throbbed but she ignored it. It was a reminder that she was still injured, but she didn't care to think about it. Instead, she thought of what was going to happen when Leon threw her out in a few days' time.

  With a sigh of frustration, Victoria rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. I cannot give up on him. No, I will not give up on him. Love was not something she could toss aside so easily. Maybe Leon could remove her from his estate and send her back to Harlow, but he did not own Harlow. He also couldn't stop her from waiting and watching him. He couldn't stop her from wanting him so fiercely it caused her heart to ache.

  She would change his mind and she would make him marry her when the time came. It didn't matter what kind of darkness haunted Leon's past. The only thing that mattered to her now was him.

  Chapter Nine

  Sir William sat at the table with a plate full of potatoes and pork in front of him. It tasted bland, not at all like the food he had back at his estate that was prepared by a group of trained servants. Pushing away his plate, he grunted and glared at it, ignoring the thunder that boomed outside and caused the house to shake.

  Just as Sir William stood up, plate in hand, he heard a knock on the door and stilled. He glanced down at Cecile, who was pale and covered in a crust of blood. She appeared thin and her lips were dry. Sir William then leered at Dawson, who also appeared thinner but still strong as he glared at Sir William. Sir William scoffed, decided they were nothing to worry about, and then walked over to the door and opened it.

  A young man stood at the door with a chestnut horse at his side. The young man wore the blue overcoat and cream color britches of a letter delivery boy.

  "I have come to deliver a letter," the young man said. "Is the lady of the house home?"

  "I will take it to her." Sir William held out his hand. "I am the man of the house and I read all of the letters."

  Though the young man hesitated at first, he finally held out the letter and passed it to Sir William. Sir William stepped back, slammed the door shut in the youth's face, and then tore open the manila envelope sealed with red wax and opened the note, his heart pounding and his mind whirling with excitement. The excitement was short lived as he read the letter.

  Dear Mother,

  I traveled many miles from home all the way to a place called Harlow. At first I thought Harlow was a magical town, especially since I saw an opening for a servant position at a large estate upon the hill. You can imagine my excitement when I traveled to query about it. Unfortunately, that is when the bad news in my letter starts, but I suppose there is some good too, though.

  When heading up the mountain, I was bitten by a wild wolf. Though I managed to survive, my leg has become swollen and evil. The man of the estate, Leon, is taking care of me, and a doctor is looking after my leg. There is a chance I may not make it home to see you again, Mother, so I thought I would take this chance to tell you some things. Too many people do not get the opportunity to tell their beloved family members how much they mean to them, and I do not intend to do so.

  I love you more than I can ever say. Remember when you used to attempt to teach me to sew and I was horrible at it? Well, I could sew. I used to miss stitches on purpose, just so you would pay attention to me and show me how to do it properly. I so love the sound of your voice and still do. I miss it terribly, especially now when I am ill. I was such a troublesome child, wasn't I, a troublesome child who grew up to become a troublesome adult.

  And now for my more pleasant news. The man of this estate is so kind. I remembered when you told me you know Father was a kind soul and the man you wanted to wed when you first met him. I think I understand what you mean now. Leon is the kindest person I have ever encountered. He cares for me diligently, though he does not have to. Unfortunately, I am afraid his heart is as torn apart as my leg. We make quite a pair, he and I.

  I wish I could see your wedding. I will send word every day. I pray someday soon that this letter was foolish and that I am in good health.

  With the deepest love imaginable,

  Your daughter,

  Victoria

  Once he had finished the letter, anger and malice burned through his body like none he had known before, not even when he had first learned that Victoria planned to leave him. Victoria was with a man. Some other man who she enjoyed the presence of. Crushing the letter into a ball in his fist, Sir William let out a scream of rage, whipped around, and stormed into the dining room where Cecile quivered and Dawson's eyes narrowed.

  "Your daughter is a harlot," Sir William screamed. "I don't need you two anymore. I am going to leave you both here to starve, and I'm going to find her and then I am going to slaughter her lover and make her watch."

  Cecile whimpered and Sir William, enraged at anything that moved, kicked her in the face and watched teeth scatter along the ground as she screamed, and Dawson growled in rage. After that, Sir William whirled around and sprinted for the door, prepared to get his horse and ride throughout the night.

  ***

  Leon was determined to get Victoria away from his estate before the full moon, which would occur within two days' time. The thought of her here beneath his roof while she was so vulnerable made him ill. As Leon paced in front of his door, ignoring his stomach's demand for breakfast, there was a knock at the door. At first he thought it was Victoria and ignored the knock, but it became more and more persistent.

  "It's Dr. Manheim, not Victoria," a rough raspy voice said from the other side of the door.

  Gritting his teeth, Leon stormed over to the door and opened it. The shrewd doctor stood on the other side of the threshold with his arms crossed in front of him.

  "So you knew I was avoiding her." Leon stepped aside and waved Dr. Manheim into his room.

  "Sir, a blind and deaf ninety-year-old man would have known what you are doing." Dr. Manheim frowned at him. "You are breaking that young woman's heart, and your own along with it."

  Leon scowled, "If that’s what you have come here to talk about, then I…"

  "Victoria may be the ideal wife for you, and you are foolish to send her away," Dr. Manheim held up his hand, "However, that is not why I've come to call. I have come to tell you that my job here is done and I will be leaving this afternoon to head back to my home. I miss my wife and my son."

  For a moment, Leon stilled. He realized he had been selfish. He hadn't even known that Dr. Manheim had a son.

  "I see." Leon frowned. "I should thank you for coming to me like this and leaving your family behind. I shall give you extra payment."

  Once again, Dr. Manheim raised his hand. "I don't require anything extra. I rushed to help you becaus
e I like you, just like my father liked you."

  Leon wasn't sure what to say. His heart felt like it was caught in his throat. It was the first time in a long time he had heard kind words like that. When Leon said nothing, Dr. Manheim cleared his throat and began to continue speaking again.

  "I lied when I said this was not about Victoria. It is." Dr. Manheim frowned. "I vowed to keep myself professional when I came in here to see you, but I cannot. You are a good man, Leon, and you have lived too long alone. How will you feel when this house is empty? You deserve better than to live like this."

  Leon shook his head. It was a lie. He was not good.

  "No, don't shake your head at me, Leon." Reaching forward, Dr. Manheim grabbed his arm. "You care for Victoria. A blind man could see that, too. And she cares for you. You should stop living in the past."

  "I am a monster," Leon cried.

  "No, you are not," Dr. Manheim's voice was rough. "A monster would have left that girl to die. You are a good man with a problem, but Victoria is a good woman who will be willing to stick by your side despite that."

  "I cannot risk hurting her."

  "If you let her walk out the door, you will be hurting her a lot more than you ever could had you bitten her." Dr. Manheim scowled at him. "Think about that."

  Silence filled the room. Leon could not think of a counter argument and he began to feel nauseated. Swearing, he ran his hand through his hair.

  "Are you done?" Leon snapped.

  "Now I am." Dr. Manheim moved toward the door but cast him one last dark stare. "Don't forget my words, though, Leon. You have and you will hurt her, pushing her away from you the way you are."

  When Dr. Manheim left the room and shut the door behind him with a click, Leon swore again and stared at his shoes. "I know…I know…"

  Victoria stood at the door with Dr. Manheim as she stepped forward and gave him a hard embrace. He smelled of the tree roots he had strapped to her leg, and he gave her an extra, comforting squeeze which shocked her. The entire time, Dr. Manheim had maintained a stoic face when it came to her. Now, as he backed away, she saw that his eyes glistened with sadness and his jaw was tense.

  "Dr. Manheim, I'll miss you." Victoria frowned. "Perhaps the two of us may write letters?"

  "I intend to do so, especially to check up on your leg." His eyes lingered on her dress. "Sometimes problems like these reoccur. If you receive so much as a twinge that sets you on edge, call me and I'll come to you at once, even if you don't have sufficient payment for my services."

  "You are a very kind man, Dr. Manheim."

  "I am toward the people I enjoy the company of." Dr. Manheim smiled at her.

  It took Victoria a moment to realize that Dr. Manheim had just paid her a compliment. She gave him a slow, sad smile and then reached out and hugged him one last time. It hurt her heart to see him go. He was a good man. Maybe he hadn't shown her much emotion while he was here, but she still enjoyed his company all the same.

  "Victoria, I really shouldn't say this, but I am going to anyway." Squeezing her arm, Dr. Manheim gave her a frown. "I don't want you to give up on Leon, even if he sends you away. The man cares for you. I can see it in his eyes. He needs you too, though he doesn't appear to realize it yet."

  "I don't intend to give up on him." She grinned weakly. "When he sends me away, I will be heading back to Harlow. I'm sure he'll have to make an appearance down there eventually, and I'll be around when he does. And I'll find a job somewhere doing something. I don't care if I have to beg on the street corners or clean soot from the walls. I will do what I have to do to make him see that he needs me."

  "I knew there was a reason I liked you." Dr. Manheim winked at her. "Well, I best be on my way now, I'm afraid. I've got a long journey ahead of me, and I am eager to get back to my home. Best of luck to you, Victoria. Perhaps next time I come, I will be at your side for a good reason instead of a wicked one."

  "I don't understand," Victoria frowned.

  Reaching out, Dr. Manheim patted her stomach, pivoted, and then walked away. Heat filled her face as she stared after him, but then she found herself pressing her hand to her stomach herself. Her, carry Leon's child? With Sir William, she had always been scared about what would happen if she got pregnant. Likely the child would be born with a spiked tail or horns. With Leon, though, the idea of being pregnant with his baby made her heart grow warm. Maybe she could have a child that appeared like Leon with warm eyes and golden skin.

  But that was way down the road, and now she had to think of what to do in order to win Leon over. Frowning, Victoria pivoted and limped back to her room, wincing with every step.

  ***

  A fierce and angry growl left Sir William's throat as he forced his horse down the road. The animal panted wildly beneath him, foam flying everywhere. Sweat poured down his face after the night of hard galloping, but he ignored it. The only thing he felt now was rage – intense rage. Every inch of his soul and his blood boiled with anger and made him feel sick. Soon he would have Victoria again. And soon he would kill Victoria's lover and she would watch.

  The thought caused him to drive his heels into his horse's sides, though the animal was tired and covered in a layer of sweat. Just as he beat the horse's haunches with the palm of his hand, the horse reared and then skidded to a stop. As Sir William drove his heels harder into his horse, the animal once again reared, snorted, and then let out a desperate whicker before falling on her knees. Sir William scrambled off the horse just before she rolled to her side and stared straight ahead, panting and covered in a blanket of white foam. Sir William swore, seized the horse's reins, and attempted to drag her to her hooves. The horse let out a pained scream and did not move.

  He growled, and then whirled around. He could see a city ahead of him. It was only a short ride from Harlow, and he could get another horse in the city. In his anger, he collected his bag and sword. The crumbled letter was at the horse's side, but he saw no point in collecting it and bringing it with him. He knew Victoria's secrets now. He didn't need the letter to prove it.

  ***

  In desperation, Victoria shadowed Leon, who walked down the hallway toward the kitchen. His back was stiff and his jaw tight, so she knew he had seen her. Victoria limped after him, glaring at him, desperate to make him acknowledge her.

  "Are you a child, Leon?" Victoria demanded. "Are you going to run and hide from me forever? You need to face what's between us."

  Still Leon did not answer. He continued to head down the hallway toward the kitchen. When he reached the door to the kitchen, he opened it and then shut it behind him as if she was just an angry, unseen ghost wailing at him. As Victoria stared at the door, the sadness gave way to frustration. If only she knew what had happened to him that made him so determined to keep her at arm's length. She did not understand how an attractive man of a fine age could be so determined to stay away from her, even after the night they had shared together.

  Dr. Manheim had said Leon cared for her. She believed him. After all, she had seen the look in Leon's eyes herself. So what was the problem and what could she do to fix it? Groaning, she threw up her arms, whirled around, and stalked toward her room to think.

  Ignoring Victoria was like trying to ignore a broken piece of his heart which lay upon the floor. Leon wanted to grab her and kiss her so fiercely it chased the breath from her heaving chest and made her green eyes widen in shock. But instead, he was forced to ignore her, all because he was a werewolf. It didn't seem fair that he had to give up the woman of his dreams due to a curse he had not asked for.

  He hadn't asked to be bitten that midsummer's night.

  He hadn't asked to kill his brother.

  He hadn't asked to be here and desperate to touch Victoria.

  But that was where he was, stuck here with the woman of his dreams who he could not have. And with a full moon coming tomorrow night, too. The idea of having her in his estate the night of a full moon made him sick with anxiety. Tomorrow, he would have a t
alk with Victoria. Tomorrow, he would give her enough money to send her to town, and he would say the words to her that would make her hurt enough to leave.

  Even if it killed him.

  ***

  Nobody was willing to sell Sir William a new horse at night, but now, in the morning he haggled with a plump old woman over a fat stallion which would be so slow it would take him a year to reach Victoria instead of a day. As he examined the bay horse with the dull eyes, a plump, short man rode past him on a palomino horse. The man had a leather handbag and appeared to be a doctor of some kind.

  Shaking his head and wishing he had a fast horse like that, Sir William whirled around and stared back at Merilee, the woman with her flyaway grey hair and her two missing front teeth.

  "So are you buying the animal or what?" The stench of Merilee's body carried to Sir William, making him grimace. "Guarantee he's the only horse for sale in this town. We don't got much. Take 'im or leave 'im. I don't care. Isn't much use to me."

  "I'll take him." Sir William scowled and held out the coins.

  Almost, Victoria. Almost. One more day.

  ***

  The next morning, Leon knocked on Victoria's door, his heart thudding in his chest as he digested what he was about to do. He was deliberately entering the room of the girl of his dreams so that he could break her heart. Nothing had ever felt as twisted to him as that fact.

  "Come in." Victoria sounded shocked by his knocking.

  Leon entered Victoria's room and felt his heart pound even harder. This was going to be hard. Already, as Victoria gazed at him as she sat on the bed, he wanted to walk over to her, gather her in his arms, and kiss her fat lips until she groaned beneath him. He longed to make their bodies and hearts one again. If only circumstances could have been different.

  "I need to talk to you," Leon frowned. "I want you to move to town today. You can stay at the inn. I'll give you the coins to do it. I have more than enough."