I don’t care… good, bad, ugly, or indifferent, I crave them.
I need them.
“You can be such a bitch.” He tilts his head back and takes an angry breath, trying to regain his control. His body stiffens, before he exhales. “We need to stop this right now. We can’t do this here. I don’t want to talk about anything but work. People are going to be here in forty minutes, and that’s the only thing we should handle today.”
The way he shuts me out, choosing other things over me, hurts and makes me angry. It sucks that he can do whatever he wants, whenever he feels like it. Yeah, this meeting is huge, but would it kill him to take a minute to talk to me?
“Do you know why I’m so mad?” My blood pressure rises as I get in his face. I look at the man I love so much and take a quick breath. Words tumble out of my mouth like bullets, assaulting him. “Where were you last night? You never came to our hotel room. I made sure I did. Where were you?” I accuse, hurt dribbling from my body. “Did you forget your own golden rule again? You promised me, Cooper.”
He swallows and scrubs a palm over his frustrated face. “I know, okay? Things with Jessica got out of hand. It won’t happen again. Jesus Christ, what difference would it have made anyway? We had to be here early, and I didn’t finish up with her until after four.” He drags a hand through his hair, tousling it, and smirks.
It freaking sucks when you get what you give. I know that was directed toward me. That was meant to hurt me after I jabbed at him about “finding what I needed.” And now I know her name… Jessica.
“Screw this,” I mutter. “You’ll never get it. We just keep messing this up. Our rules, the way we live, it’s all so fucked up.” My voice goes from angry to pained, almost resigned.
“Look, this is not the place to talk about us.” His tone is stern. He wants to get away from me; I can see it in his posture and the way his eyes avoid mine. “You wanted this. You wanted to open our marriage. You can’t complain. Let’s just get this deal locked in. This is important, and then we can talk about our usual bullshit, okay?”
I decide to let it go. He can be infuriating and painful. Everything with us feels like a losing battle. I can’t get through to him. I don’t know how. I walk away, breathing deeply, and go find Cali.
Just as I’m heading to the door, she pokes her head in. “Here are the docs.”
“Thanks, Cali.” I smile weakly and grab the papers.
“Hey, hang in there.” Her concern is the only thing that brings me joy. She loves me through everything.
I nod, expelling a deep breath. “What’s that?” I look at the extra papers in her hand.
She looks down and then back at me. “Cooper asked me to copy them for him.”
“Where’s Layla?” I ask, wondering where Cooper’s assistant is. She usually follows him around like a lost, pathetic puppy.
“Couldn’t make the trip.”
“Oh. What would I do without you?” I question, knowing I would be lost without her. She’s always on top of everything.
“You’d die.” She laughs.
“True story,” I say with a giggle.
Forty minutes later, everything’s set up, and the men we’ve been waiting on saunter through the door. The energy in the room changes when I see the males who have graced us with their presence.
“Gentlemen.” Cooper’s voice booms through the space. “Thanks for coming.”
A small grin pulls at my mouth when I lock eyes with Grayson Walsh, Cooper’s best friend and future investment partner. Grayson is well… Gray. He and Cooper go way back. They’ve know each other since they were two years old. They went to high school and college together and have never lived more than twenty minutes apart. Gray’s not only Cooper’s friend, though. He’s mine too.
We share something different, something very special that only began to blossom when Kayla died. He’s been there for me every step of the way, and he’s become my best friend. He knows all the gritty details of my marriage. He knows about the women, the men, the animosity, and he loves us both. He never tries to fix me. Like Calia, he just accepts it for what it is. Does he like it? No. But what can he do? Nothing. Cooper and I are the only ones who can fix the mess we’ve created.
“Guys, I want you to meet my partner, my wife, Kylie Bailey.” Cooper smiles.
I hate the fake warmth in his voice when he introduces me. Everything feels so forced, and I hate it. He could care less where I’m concerned. He tortures me by withholding his love at every turn. I never know whether I’m coming or going.
Swallowing the irritation, I shake hands with Lindin Peterson. The guy’s the size of a linebacker. He has a warmth and sweet swagger that makes me feel instantly at ease. His looks aren’t striking, but his smile makes me smile. His size and aura seem to be at odds with each other. Next, I meet an incredibly charming guy named Jason York. He’s stunning, and his eyes are so bright they’re intoxicating.
“Nice to meet you, Kylie.” He grins, pulling my hand to his soft lips. “Cooper’s a very lucky man.”
Jesus… The testosterone he oozes is so thick, I have to blink and glance away. My cheeks feel warm. He hasn’t said anything crazy, but I know, I just know, he’s dangerous, sexy, and probably combustible in bed. After I take a second to compose myself, I glance back at all the guys in the room. I see Lindin smirking, Cooper mildly annoyed, and Gray strangely uncomfortable.
Cooper clears his throat. “We’re waiting on one more. Why don’t you guys have a seat and get comfortable? Is there anything Kylie can get you to drink?”
He’s always taking a shot at me. Is there anything Kylie can get you to drink? I shoot daggers at him, and he just smirks, knowing he’s crawling under my skin.
The three of them refuse drinks, and we all take our seats, waiting on the CEO of Accelerated Investments. Our conversation is light and friendly, and I think the meeting is going to go superbly. Then the door opens and in strides the man of the hour.
I don’t get up or move to see who he is. I decide to wait for Cooper to make the introduction. This is huge for him, and I don’t want to do anything to mess it up. The CEO is not my responsibility. My job is to sweet talk his right-hand guys, to plant little seeds they can take back to their boss.
“Hey, you made it.” I hear the nervousness in Cooper’s voice. “Thank you so much for coming, Mr. Richards. I know your time is valuable, and we really appreciate you flying out.”
They talk for a minute while I pretend to be busy with papers. I hear Cooper walk up behind me. He places a hand on my shoulder. I take a quick breath, before turning and plaster on the fakest smile I have. The moment I see Mr. Richards’s face, mine falls.
“Kylie, this is Nathaniel Richards, the CEO of Accelerated Investments.”
My heart stops, and the blood flowing to my organs freezes up. I feel as if I’ve been kicked in the stomach as I look into the very knowing eyes of the man who fucked me senseless last night.
A smile dusts his lips. “It’s nice to meet you, Kylie.” His voice is low, husky, and tickles a path through my body.
He holds out his hand, and I stand there like a dumb ass. The only thought running through my head is that I knew one of my casual hook ups would come back to bite me in the ass eventually.
Holy crap. I’m in way over my head here. I raise a shaky hand and try to force a smile. “It’s nice to meet you too, Nathaniel.”
The air in the room is charged, tense, and I can’t imagine what’s going through Cooper’s head, let alone those of the other men in the room. I want to throw up and crawl under the rug. This can’t be happening. I feel a hand on the small of my back, and I look into Grayson’s aqua eyes.
“Why don’t we go ahead and get this started?” He must see the stress painted across my face because he places his arm over my shoulder and guides me to my seat.
Everyone follows suit, and soon Cooper’s voice goes through the various stages of our proposal. I keep my eyes on the papers in front of
me to avoid a certain gaze burning through me.
My thoughts go from irritated at myself to mortified. I’m not some wall flower. I’ve had my share of business hook ups, and Cooper knows about them, but this is different. We’ve been working on this for two years. It’s the only thing that’s been a constant in our relationship. Work, work and more work.
This is his dream. He comes from an affluent family, but Coop wants to make his own way without using the family name and money. I totally support that. After we lost Kayla, we cut family out. His parents play no role in our lives, and neither do mine. They’ve given us money, but we choose not to use it and support ourselves.
We own a successful insurance office, and we need capital to expand our one office into two. That’s where Nate’s company comes in. If we can expand into Key West, be successful, and make Accelerated Investments a profit, then we can expand into other states one office at a time. The goal is to have offices all over the country.
But now I’ve created a problem. I fucked the key investor instead of seducing his minions. If I’ve messed this up and he decides not to invest, Cooper’s dream will be delayed. And if Cooper’s unhappy, then our marriage will be worse off than it is now.
The odd thing is, I thought Cooper saw him last night at the bar, and he made no move to stop me. Maybe he didn’t get a clear view of who was next to me. Was he so involved with Blondie and pissing me off that he totally missed Nate? There’s no way he would have let me go with him. I know Cooper, and even though we’re both damaged, we do try to draw some lines.
A swell of panic trickles through my blood like the drip from a tap. If Nate decides I’m a skanky bitch, then Cooper’s deal could be ruined. I can’t breathe.
Nate didn’t seem stunned when introductions were made. No, he seemed… almost knowing. I’m confused. Did Cooper not see us? The lighting was muted. But I saw Cooper. I saw him clearly.
If I’m being honest, I always see Cooper. If he was sitting in a dark room, I’d know where he was. I’m so keyed in to what he’s doing that I could make him out in a crowd of hundreds. Things between us are broken, but I know without a doubt that I love him with all that’s in me. I always have.
I’m so lost in my thoughts that I miss my name being called until I feel hot breath fan against my ear.
“Hey sweet cheeks, you’re up.” Gray’s gentle whisper catches my attention.
I look up and notice him trying to read me. God, I love him. My sweet Grayson.
He winks and smiles. I turn my gaze from him and look at everyone at the table. All eyes are on me. Deep breath, Kylie.
I give a small nod and move toward Cooper. My heart beats rapidly, and all thought of what the hell I’m supposed to do vanishes. Nausea curls in my stomach and sweat beads on my forehead. Anxiety stops me cold when I get to his side. He looks annoyed, but also slightly concerned.
Does he not know? Oh my God, I don’t think he knows.
I feel myself turn white. What if I’ve fucked up the whole thing? My heart seizes. My breathing becomes labored, and my hand goes to my chest. My vision blurs. I can’t breathe.
“Kylie, baby, you okay?” Cooper asks, looking confused.
“No.” I choke as my world spins, and the anxiety doubles. I close my eyes and take small, panting breaths.
Cooper grabs me, pulling me against him. I feel his warmth wrap around me as he tries to figure out what’s going on. The room becomes crazy, a frenzy of activity as they urge me to sit down.
Oh God… I strain against my mind, willing it to calm. This is not good. I feel tears slip down my face.
Cooper squats and takes my cheeks between his hands. “You’re okay, everything’s fine. Try taking some deeper breaths.”
I try to calm myself by putting my head between my legs and following his orders.
Shit
Shit
Shit
I really messed up. I groan inwardly, wanting to die. I’ve let him down again. I look at Cooper and try to apologize the only way I know. I place my palm on his cheek and mouth, “I’m sorry.”
I’m so sorry for repeatedly destroying his life. He flinches away, and I want to scream. I swallow my emotions and force myself to settle down. After a couple of minutes, my nerves calm, and I stand slowly. I look at all the concerned eyes in the room.
“God, I’m sorry. I think I ate something bad last night.” I flick my eyes to Nate whose face is covered in a smirk. “I need to go lay down. Cooper will finish the presentation with Calia’s assistance. Again, I’m so sorry.”
I look at Cali in the far corner of the room. My eyes bulge, and she snaps into action, asking if she can get anybody beverages or snacks. I can’t move. I’m so embarrassed. I force my feet forward. With my head hung low, I throw things in my bag.
Gray comes up behind me and leans over my shoulder. “I’ll take you to your room.”
“Oh no, you don’t need to do that,” I say quickly, averting my eyes from his.
He turns my face toward his, giving me a no-nonsense look. “Don’t test me, Kylie.”
I know better than to argue with Grayson Walsh, so I just nod, grab my stuff, and let him lead me out. I look back one last time. Cooper’s face, which had a hint of concern earlier, looks angry and frustrated. His eyes hold so much resentment. I swallow and look at Nate. He gives me a full-fledged smirk and turns to whisper in Lindin’s ear. Lindin looks at me, brows furrowed, and sits back down. I don’t bother looking at Jason, afraid of what I might see. I rush out of the room, hoping Cali can pick up my slack.
The moment the cool lobby air hits my face, I feel as though I can breathe. I almost run to my room. I’m getting out of here. I plan to pack up and head home to Tampa before this nightmare of a day is over. I’m so busy planning my escape that when I get into the elevator, I forget Gray’s with me.
“Do you wanna tell me what that was about?” His face is blank, but his eyes hold a mountain of concern.
“Not really,” I whisper, pressing the button for the twelfth floor.
He smiles weakly and quirks a brow. “Come on, you can’t leave me hanging. Tell me what’s going on. You know I won’t judge you. I need to know what’s going through that gorgeous head of yours.”
I let out a breath and feel stress swarm through my body again. “Seriously, you don’t want to know. I messed up big time. I can’t even imagine what Cooper’s thinking right now.” Tears try to force their way out of my eyes, but I hold them back.
“I know you, Kylie,” he says. “I see through you. I know what you’re trying to do and I love you anyway. Nothing you could tell me is going to affect us. How long have we been friends? How many times have I picked you up? Cleaned you up? Tell me what that was about.” His face becomes hard, unflinching. He’s not going to let this go.
I curse inwardly and close my eyes, leaning back against the cool mirrored surface. Damn Grayson always needs to know every freaking detail. I sigh as loud as I can, hoping he hears my irritation. As I open my eyes and mouth, I’m saved by the ding of the elevator. He follows me to my suite where I fumble with my key card. I’m so exhausted and nervous that I can’t seem to get the damn thing in the slot. His hand rests on mine, sliding the key out of my fingers and inserting it in the door. With his palm pressed to the small of my back, he ushers me into the suite.
I move straight to my bedroom. I chuck off my heels and earrings, dropping them along the way. I just want to close my eyes and undo the day, undo last night. I get to the bed, crawl under the cool down comforter, and curl around a pillow. A moment later Gray comes in, slips off his shoes and climbs in on the other side, facing me. He stares at me for a while, not saying much. The way he studies me has my insides softening. His eyes trace my features as he tries to figure me out. Silence stretches densely around the room.
I close my eyes, breathing deep, and open my mouth to confess my stupid mistake, but still as Gray brushes the pad of his thumb along my lips.
“Hey, it’s going
to be okay,” he says. “Just remember you’ve been through worse. You’ve been to hell and back. Whatever this is, it’s just another blip on your journey.”
“This is bad,” I whisper. “Cooper’s going to be so angry. Shit, he’s already angry with me. I’m scared that this is just going to push him further away. I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder if he loves me anymore.”
“Stop, of course he loves you. He’s just fucked up. He doesn’t know what to do with you and how to fix it. But he loves you.”
“You have no idea what I did last night.”
“Then tell me,” he urges. “I want to be there for you. Look, you know I love Coop. We’ve been best friends forever, but he’s not the only one hurting, Ky. Watching you like this, seeing you going through the same thing all the time, makes me angry. I hate seeing you hate yourself. Tell me what happened.”
I roll to my back and look at the ceiling. An internal war ignites my head as I debate whether or not to fess up. Gray knows all my secrets, all my indiscretions, but telling him this feels dirty, wrong. I’ve turned into some desperate child screaming for attention, and I can’t stand it. I want to pull myself together and try to fix my marriage, but I can’t. I can’t because I don’t know how. Maybe it’s time I start fixing myself instead. I’m running my heart into the ground.
“I did something last night.” My whisper conveys the brokenness inside me, my confusion. “I just… I don’t know, I was mad and lonely. Cooper hadn’t talked to me at all yesterday. I knew he had landed; I knew he was here.” I let out a distressed breath. “I wanted a text from him, but one never came. I should’ve just texted him first, but I was being stubborn. I was upset. So I went out. I went to the bar downstairs. I just… Shit, I know this sounds bad, but I wanted a warm body.” I let out another deep breath, my body trembling. “I went to the bar looking for a man. This pattern is killing my marriage, but I’m addicted to the feeling of a man wanting me. I like feeling special and needed.”
Against All Odds Page 3