Against All Odds

by McKeon, Angie

  Breathe, Kylie, breathe. You can do this.

  I can’t do it. There’s no way I can. Maybe tomorrow I can call Coop and convince him to meet me for lunch. Something.

  “No, I don’t want to seize the day.” I crank up my car and put it in reverse.

  Desperate to take off, I glance behind me to make sure no one’s coming. I stop abruptly when I see Gray smirking and leaning against the back of my Audi. He’s dressed in a navy polo shirt and gray slacks, and is holding a cup of coffee. He lifts an eyebrow and waves.

  “Damn it.” I groan and throw my head back against the seat, closing my eyes. I can’t leave now.

  Tap… Tap… Tap

  “Go away!” I’m miserable. I hear him laughing, so I roll down my window and pout like a petulant child. I don’t want to go inside.

  “Mmm, that’s a sexy pouty face.” He smirks.

  “Damn it, Gray, can’t you just pretend you didn’t see me?” I ask pathetically. “How long have you been standing there, anyway?”

  His eyes glisten with humor. “Only long enough to see you freak out for the last twenty-five minutes.”

  Embarrassed at being caught, I feel myself wanting to crawl under the dash. Instead, I playfully narrow my eyes. “It’s not funny, Gray. In a minute, I’m going to get out of this car and beat your scrumptious ass.”

  He laughs a deep, delicious, rumbly laugh. A grin, so large it literally stops my breathing, dances along his lips. “Kylie Bailey, I would love for you to put your dainty, sexy hands on me. We can play rough anytime, sweet cheeks. You just tell me when.”

  Then he winks like a complete nerd, and something inside me melts. The fear that had been devouring me a minute ago recedes a little. I’m still scared of the things inside I can’t control, but with Gray here, I might be able to handle it. I might be able to deal with everything that a minute ago felt insurmountable.

  A realization hits me. My feelings for Grayson run a little deeper than I’ve allowed myself to think they do. They become stronger with each day I spend around him. He’s working his way into my heart. The thought shakes me.

  I’ve always been attracted to him—you’d have to be dead not to—but he’s been in a “do not touch” box as long as I’ve known him. That box has allowed me to keep my physical and emotional feelings separated. But, over the last couple of weeks, my feelings for Gray have grown. Our time at the lake house shook that box. That scares me. When you mess with the heart, things get sticky, and I can’t have things getting sticky. They’re messy enough already.

  “Are you going to get out of the car, Ky?”

  I blink and shake my head. Oh God, I’m a mess. I’m starting to freak out again, and not for the same reason that I was freaking out when I first pulled up. Do I like Grayson?

  “Kylie, you in there?”

  I stare at him like a nut job. I can’t talk. If I do, my heart will betray me. It’ll let Gray know that I not only want him sexually, but I might like him on a more intimate level.

  “Hello, Ky. Babe, we’ve been out here for forty minutes now. Come on,” he coaxes. “You can do this. I’ve got you. Cooper won’t pull any shit, and Nate wouldn’t dare fuck with me.”

  I’ve got you.

  He’s got me. Grayson’s always had me. My thoughts are changing, and I don’t like it. I don’t want it, and I need to be careful. Very, very careful. Get it together, Kylie.

  “Yeah, I’m coming. Sorry.” I shake myself out of these insane thoughts. I grab my purse, open the door, and step out.

  He smiles, and I smile back uneasily. I’m not sure I want to be this close to him. I need to put some space between us and clear my head a little. Staying with Gray is no longer an option. I’m losing track of the ultimate goal. It’s always been, and will always be Cooper.

  We get to the building door, and I take a deep breath, preparing myself for everything that’s ahead. I chant, “You can do this” over and over silently until I feel a warm palm touch my lower back.

  “I’ve got you,” he whispers.

  Right. He’s got me. Oh God…

  He opens the door, and we walk in, cool air conditioning greeting us. We walk past the front desk.

  The receptionist, Tenley, peeks up and smiles. “Hey, Kylie, where have you been? Did you take a vacation?” Her brown eyes are warm.

  I smile and murmur, “Yeah, Ten, I did.”

  “Well, welcome back,” she says.

  “Thanks. Is Cooper around?” I want to make sure I’m in the clear. We have to talk, but I need to compose myself first.

  “Yeah, he just got done with Nate. I think he’s still in his office, though.”

  “Thanks.” I walk faster, Gray trailing behind.

  He laughs. “Think you could walk any faster?”

  “Hush,” I retort.

  When I get to my office, he smiles and says he’s going to tell Cali I’m in. Then he gives me a peck on the cheek and saunters off. I watch him walk away, my eyes stuck to his ass. He moves so stealthily that my insides get warm.

  I’m in big trouble.

  Sighing, I move to my desk and drop my purse. I look at the paperwork stacked on my workspace. I have a shitload to do. I’m so far behind. At least I’ll have something to keep me busy for a while. I sit down and boot up my Mac just as I hear a knock at the door. I look up at the only bright spot in my day.

  “Hey, you.” I smile at Cali.

  “You ready to catch up?” She points at the stack of papers.

  “Yep. Just going through my emails first.”

  “Okay, holler if you need anything.” Her face takes on a funny look. “Hey, you okay?”

  She sees the stress on my face. I’m not good at hiding stuff. But I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to think of the pain I experienced last night, remembering Kayla, or the fact that I slept cuddled in Gray’s arms. I don’t want to tell her that in Grayson’s arms, all I thought about was Coop. I can’t even deal with the thought that my feelings for Gray are morphing into something else. I need to work, work, and work some more.

  “Yeah. I’m fine. We’ll talk later.”

  She gives me a reluctant nod. “Okay. If you need me, you know where to find me.”

  I tip my head in acknowledgement and get to the mind-numbing task of filling out forms and returning calls. I work mindlessly, too busy to think about anything, too busy to worry about life.

  Three hours later, I need a break. My head hurts, my neck has a crick in it, and I need food. I close my eyes and lean back, taking a minute before I leave my sanctuary. Kayla fills my head as soon as my eyes shut. My chest aches when I see her little face. I wish I’d had more time with her. I never got a minute to hear her cry. I wasn’t blessed with even a second of seeing her chest move. I didn’t get to look into her eyes or watch her fingers curl around mine.

  I lost everything that day.

  I’d had it all and then poof, it was gone. I’m still living a nightmare. One I can’t seem to get away from. I don’t want this pain anymore. I wish I could talk to Coop, but I can’t. I don’t have him; I have Gray. That used to help me, and now it makes me feel unsure.

  I can’t stay in my office all day. I have to deal eventually, and it might as well be now. I get up, dry my fallen tears while thinking about my baby, and straighten my pencil skirt. I’ll use the bathroom, then it’s time to talk to Cooper. My nerves spiral as soon as I open the door. By the time I get to the bathroom, they’re completely shot. My heart is hammering so hard I hear it in my ears. My stomach hurts so badly I could throw up.

  Calm down. You’re fine. I force a deep breath, pushing the anxiety aside, and splash some water on my face. When I look into the mirror, I see that I’m a mess. My cheeks are rosy, and my eyes have circles under them. My forehead’s lined with worry, and my shoulders are pulled tightly together. Just as I get to the stall door, the bathroom door swings opens, and Nate walks in.

  My body, already tense, instantly sweats and my head gets fuzzy.


  What is he doing here?

  He gives me a wicked smile and locks the door before moving toward me. I’m not ready for a confrontation, but it’s coming whether I want it or not.

  “Kylie,” he greets, huskily.

  “Nate.” I swallow, my throat catching.

  “Are you avoiding me? You didn’t return my text.”

  I move back, not wanting any issues with him. Our one-night stand was great, but I’m done. I gather up some courage, making sure my voice is calm and steady. “Why would you think that?” I raise an eyebrow in an attempt to be coy. “We had fun. Now it’s over. There’s no need to rehash. No need to avoid anyone, and definitely no need to return texts.”

  He eyes me with curiosity. “What if I don’t want it to be over? What if I want more?”

  I take a breath and try to let him down without crushing his ego. “Listen, I have way too much going on right now. I can’t. You’re a big player in this company, and I can’t mix business with pleasure.” I pause. “You and me… That was a one night thing, Nate.”

  He stares at me for a second, his chocolate eyes glistening in the dimmed bathroom lights. He really is stunning, but I hear Gray telling me to be careful, to stay away from him. Nate Richards is a man with power, a man used to getting what he wants, but that’s not going to work with me.

  “I’m not liking your answer, Kylie,” he murmurs. “I just want one more night. You know it was good, and you’re the best pussy I’ve ever had.”

  “I can’t, Nate.”

  “Why?” He drags his large hand down my neck, over my breast, to my hip.

  “Nate… You don’t even know me, but trust me, you don’t want to. My life is complicated.”

  “I like complicated.” His warm breath ghosts my ear, and I shudder.

  Damn this man! He just won’t take no for an answer. “I can’t. Please!” I exhale, trying to push him away.

  My body screams for attention. It wants to release the stress and pain it’s been holding onto these last weeks. It wants to lose itself in the same way it’s always dealt with pain. The memory of Kayla eats at me, and Cooper’s cold silence leaves me broken and vulnerable. Add in the unwanted feelings I now have for Gray, and my head’s a cesspool of tormented thoughts. I’m desperate to shut it down.

  Maybe a quickie with Nate wouldn’t hurt. No one would have to know. Right?

  “Come on, Kylie. You look like you need this,” he whispers.

  What am I thinking? Nausea simmers in my gut as Gray’s words ring in my ears.

  Stay away from him! He’s an asshole!

  I can’t ignore the frantic beat of my conscience telling me that his touch might be what I think I want, but that it can’t be what I need. I have to stop taking the easy way out.

  I step back, removing myself from his proximity. “You were a mistake. One I don’t ever intend to repeat. If I had known who you were, I would have never gone to your room. This company is important to Cooper, and I’m not going to ruin your deal with him for a romp in the sack.”

  He stands there with a smirk, like everything I’m saying is going in one ear and out the other. Maybe he likes that I’m affected by him.

  I clear my throat, digging deep for the confidence I don’t have. “We had a good time, but one night stands are exactly that. I keep them to a single night so things don’t get messy. I would hate for this to turn messy, Nate. I love my husband.”

  His face is completely blank. I’m not sure he’s hearing a word of what I’m saying. Something akin to rage stirs inside me. He’s being a jerk. I forge ahead with the closing blow I’m sure will piss him off.

  “That night at the bar… I left with you.” My voice is firm and steady. “I fucked you, but every time you put your hands on me, I was thinking of Cooper. Every time you came near me, I closed my eyes and saw him. It’s always him. You’re nothing but a distraction. One I don’t want or need to have again.”

  My pulse rages like a bull. He stands there looking at me, his brown eyes finally flashing with rejection and anger. His posture’s turned rigid. I brace myself for the backlash. What I said was harsh, but every word was true.

  You don’t get second rounds with one night fucks.

  “Wow,” he mutters as he drags a hand over his jaw. “That mouth of yours is going to get you in so much trouble. You need to remember that you need me. You and Cooper need my money. If I want something in return, I’ll have it. You’re not in the position to hand out insults, sweetheart, and you’re certainly not in the position to turn me down. You’re right about one thing though—I don’t want this to get messy. I have a wife at home who doesn’t need to know what I do behind closed doors.”

  His careless confession slams me hard. He has a wife! A wife he cheated on with me. A wife who doesn’t know about his extracurricular activities.

  I feel sick to my stomach that I let this man touch me. It’s all so repulsive. I’m no longer just messing up my own life. I’m screwing up other people’s lives. Innocent people are getting hurt by my actions. The thought of his wife sitting at home while her husband talks to me about sex makes bile churn up my throat.

  “You need to go home to your wife,” I spit. “I’m sorry, but you’re just as damaged as I am. I’m not doing this with you. This conversation’s over.”

  I move to walk past him, but he grabs my arm roughly. His breath hits my face as I stare up into eyes full anger and contempt.

  “You need to get one thing straight,” he whispers. “I say when this is over.”

  I feel shaken. Everything in me wants out of this bathroom. I don’t know who or what I’ve gotten myself involved with. “You should let me go. I would hate for Grayson to find out about this.”

  He stills, staring daggers into my eyes. A tremor snakes up my spine, but I do my best not to drop his gaze. I want him to see what I’m thinking. I want him to understand that he needs to back up off me, now.

  His brows knit tightly together, and his grip on my arm lessens. He blows out a deep breath and shoves me away. “You’re not worth it. You’re not worth a damn thing.”

  With that, he departs, slamming the door. I feel stunned. I deserved some of that anger. Nate’s definitely the asshole Gray said he was. I feel lucky that I escaped fairly unscathed. This was the wake-up call I needed.

  Forty minutes later, I’m standing with my fist poised to knock on Cooper’s door. I want to see him so badly, but I’m not sure what his reaction to seeing me will be. The situation leaves me feeling powerless. I finally decide I’ll tackle talking to him later, on a different day.

  I’m a coward.

  I’d rather wonder what he’s thinking than deal with his refusal to be around me. After my encounter with Nate, I feel unstable. If things with Cooper go south, it’ll only further upset my shaky mental state, and then I have no idea what I’ll be liable of doing.

  I turn around and walk down the hall, keeping my head low. When I’m about two steps away from the corridor to my office, I feel the air forced from my lungs. I slam into someone. I try to catch my breath and steady myself when I look up into Cooper’s shocked eyes.

  “Cooper.” I grip his arms in an effort to right myself, so I don’t land on my ass, but I find my body flush with his.

  He stares at me, breathing hard, and instinctively wraps his arms around my waist to keep me from falling. “Kylie.”

  I watch him closely as my pulse thrashes against his chest. God, I’ve missed him. I’ve missed him so much that all I want to do is wrap myself around him and never let go. He looks exhausted. My heart aches as I notice the stubble that prickles his jaw. His eyes are worn, and his blonde hair is disheveled. He looks how I feel—haunted and troubled.

  My eyes fill with tears, and deep, dark, desperate longing seeps from my core. I can’t stop the instinct to touch his face, to feel his skin. I place my clammy palm against his warm cheek, and I feel a rush of tingles dance down my arm from the contact. I love him.

  As I stare at h
im, I try to convey the depth of my yearning. “I’ve missed you.”

  He’s silent, which isn’t surprising. He holds my gaze, keeping his arms tight around me. We don’t move; it’s as if we’re in a trance. We just stare at each other, taking the other in after our weeks apart. After several moments of silence, I know I need to ask him to talk. But I’m afraid to break the moment.

  From somewhere in me, I muster the courage to say, “Can we talk?”

  “Right now?” he asks, his grip lessening as his eyes drop from my face.

  No, please, no. “Please, I just need a minute to talk to you.”

  I hear him exhale as he steps back and nods, pointing at his office. I turn in that direction as butterflies take flight in my stomach. A mixture of fear and relief simultaneously take over. We get to the office, and he follows me in. I stand by his desk, waiting for him. When a minute goes by and I don’t hear any movement, I turn around and see him standing with his back against the door. He looks anxious, and his green eyes glisten with stress.

  I take a deep, calming breath. “Can I come home?”

  “I never told you you couldn’t,” he replies evenly.

  “I wanted to make sure.”

  He nods, holding my gaze. I hate that we’re in the same room, but still so far apart. I need to find a way to get him to talk to me. A surge of adrenaline rips through me, an overwhelming need to get him back. It’s impossible to contain myself to one side of the room when all I want to do is be close to him. I move toward him and notice his body stiffen, not wanting my touch. That hurts, but I push the hurt down. When I stand in front of him, I sweep a wisp of hair behind his ear. His breath catches, and a tremble moves across his body.

  I drop my hand and smile timidly, happy that a small part of him is still affected by me. “You get more handsome every time I see you,” I whisper. Our eyes connect again, and my body hums at the little bit of warmth I see in them. “I’m sorry, Cooper. I’m sorry for how things turned out in Key West. I messed up. I always seem to mess up, but I never meant for that to happen.”