“Okay.” He exhales and steps back. “Go get dressed.”
“Thank you. I’ll be right back.” I gently smile, hoping things don’t get awkward.
“Wine, beer, and action movies?” He quirks a brow, trying to break the ice.
I laugh at his attempt to rein in the tension. That’s one of the things I love about him. He never wants to leave anyone feeling uncomfortable.
“Yeah, I’d love that,” I say, moving down the hall to the guest room I’ve been occupying.
He chuckles and shouts, “Your ass is hot as fuck, Kylie. Just in case you’re wondering.”
“Grayson!” I warn as a giggle escapes my throat. “Come on!”
“What?” His voice takes on an innocent edge. “You walking around like that is liable to kill a man. Especially if he can’t act on it.”
I can’t stop the stupid grin and blush that erupt across my face. “You weren’t supposed to be home.”
“I guess I should’ve knocked on my own front door then?” he teases.
I groan as I grab a pair of sweats and a tank and slip them on. I’m never going to live this down. I see months of ribbing in my future. When I reenter the kitchen, I notice that he’s slipped on gym shorts and lost his shirt. I swallow, taking him in. Grayson’s body is perfection. He works out a lot and you can tell by every defined muscle in his torso and arms. His tattoos are so vibrant against his skin, they’re like a magnet to the eye. He’s stunning, I’m left winded. I blink a couple times, shaking myself out of ogling him.
“What can I get you?”
“Huh?” I ask, pulling my eyes away from his chest.
“Red or white, Ky?” He smirks, holding two bottles of wine.
I flush. I’m sure he thinks I’m the queen of mixed signals. One minute I’m telling him I can’t, and the next I’m eyeing him. “Oh, I’ll just have red.” I say, pulling my eyes from him to the living room.
“Okay, I’ll get drinks. You go pick a movie,” he says.
I nod and walk into the living room. I shift through some movies, grab one, throw it in the DVD player, and sit on the loveseat to wait for Gray. He walks in a minute later and looks at the mess on the coffee table.
He flips his eyes to mine, an impish grin dancing across his face. “Did you eat all of that?”
My face warms. “I have a sweet tooth,” I mumble, embarrassed.
“It looks like it.” He laughs as he sits next to me and puts down the wine and popcorn.
He grabs the remote, and soon the room is filled with the sounds of Channing Tatum and the Rock in GI Joe. We watch silently for a while, both lost in our own thoughts. I sip my wine slowly, feeling something flutter low in my tummy as Gray’s presence fills my space. I feel a little on edge. I need to think about anything but him.
Shoes. That’s what I’ll think about. I’m pretty sure new pumps are coming in for spring at Nordstrom’s. I should probably go there tomorrow before I miss anything good. Retail therapy is great for a broken heart. As I plot my purchases, I feel his arm curl around me, pulling me into his side. His face is soft and tender in the dim light, instantly putting me at ease. He’s not trying anything; he just wants me close.
He makes me feel taken care of. He has an innate ability to soothe my wounds. His presence is addictive, and I’ve come to crave him. I depend on him in every area of my life, and I’m not sure where I’d be without him. Things between us are never strained. What we have is different than what I have with Cooper. It’s not toxic.
But Cooper stirs a passion in me that I could never feel for Gray. The day I met Coop, he lit up my life. He set me on fire. Yes, the fire is no longer glowing fast and hot, but it’s still there, wanting to smolder again. I can’t deny that I feel something for Gray. It’s becoming harder to ignore, but I want things to stay friendly and comfortable.
I lean forward and set down my wine, coming back to snuggle into his side. He wraps his arms around me as I lay my face against his shoulder. I feel him kiss the top of my head.
“Why don’t you take a nap? I’ll wake you when the movie ends,” he murmurs.
I let out a deep sigh, loving the thought of sleeping in Grayson’s arms. I’ve barely slept since I found out about Layla and Coop. I shift my head from his shoulder and glance up. “Are you sure?”
A soft smile pulls at his mouth. “Sleep, sweet cheeks.”
“Thank you”—I smile back—“for everything.”
He cups my cheek, his face gentle. “You’re welcome.”
I burrow back into his shoulder and close my eyes, allowing the comfort of being in his arms to bring me sleep. I happily head back into my dreams where Kayla, Cooper, and I are happy. I yearn for a time when my life’s back to normal.
The sound of rapping startles me from my hazy cocoon of sleep. I crack my groggy eyes open. I hear the sound of the front door opening, and hushed whispers fill the air. My heart seizes as Cooper’s deep voice drifts through the house. My body prickles with awareness. Holy shit… Is he here?
My mind tries to keep up with what’s happening around me. I should move and see if he’s here, but their conversation has me temporarily immobilized.
“What the fuck are you doing here? It’s three a.m.”
“I came to get Kylie,” Cooper says, annoyed. “Is she here? She was supposed to come home.”
The silence is thick and palpable. It makes my breath catch.
“Don’t look at me like that. She’s my fucking wife, Grayson.”
I can only imagine the stance their bodies must be in. They’re on the outs because of me, and it makes me feel vile.
“When did she say she was coming back home?” Gray asks, sounding upset.
“A couple days ago. She came to the office, said she wanted to come home and asked if it was okay. I said, yes, of course. It’s her house, too.” His voice drops as if he’s in pain. “Then Layla walked in. Kylie starting acting funny. She said some stuff about us, but she still said she was coming home. She hasn’t showed, and I was getting worried. I figured she’d be with you.” The last word comes out like a bullet intended to hurt.
Oh my God, he’s been thinking about me. He’s been worried. He was wondering where I was. All of these things cause my heart to beat rapidly. I latch onto his statements and stuff them deep inside my heart.
Gray whispers, “She is here with me. She’s sleeping on my sofa. You should’ve seen her when I got home from Chicago. She’s a fucking mess. This needs to stop. What the hell is all this bullshit with Layla? Is this something new?”
Cooper takes a deep breath. I hope somewhere inside him, he’s as lost as I am. As desperate for me as I am for him.
“Nothing. There’s nothing with Layla. She’s just there. It’s the usual shit, but she walked in at a bad time. Kylie was with me, and things got fucked up. I thought we were making some progress, but then she never came home.” He sounds desperate, as if he’s grasping for a life line. “I need to see her. I need to see my wife. Let me in now.” His tone is low, so low that it sends a shiver across my skin. He’s not asking, he’s demanding.
My heart skips a beat. No, it skips two beats. He came here for me…
He. Came. Here. For. Me.
My eyes fill with tears. This is the first time Cooper has made an effort to see me in years. Relief floods my veins. I need to go to him. Maybe he didn’t leave with her after I ran out. Maybe he’s been waiting for me to come home.
I sit up, feeling a rush of need swarm me. I turn toward the voices and walk to the front door. I stop when I see Cooper. He looks at me, and his eyes flash with the same relief I feel.
“Cooper,” I breathe.
“Kylie,” he whispers, “why didn’t you come home?”
His expression kills me.
He got my message when I walked out.
He’s a mess. His eyes are tired and bleak. His body is taut and rigid. His clothes are wrinkled, as if he picked them up and threw them on while trying to get out the door. H
e looks desperate. This is the first time I’ve seen him vulnerable. There’s no anger in his tone toward me. It just bleeds exhaustion, desperation, and distress.
My body trembles as my hand comes to my mouth. The way he looks burrows its way inside me. It seeps into my consciousness and breaks my heart. I can’t even talk as I look into his emerald eyes. I want to be honest and tell him it hurt too much to come home.
I find the strength to choke out the words, “I couldn’t, Coop. Not after seeing you with Layla. “
He flinches as if I’ve struck him. He has to understand how I felt when I left that office, knowing he was leaving with another woman. I finally drag my eyes away from Cooper and see Gray watching me. His face is clear of any emotion, but his gaze is blazing hot. This is not what he wants going on in his home, and he’s angry Cooper barged in. I look back at Cooper. He’s watching me watch Gray.
His shoulders begin to tremble, and a look of possessiveness crosses his features, fast and hard. “I don’t want you here, Kylie. I want you to come home now. Do you understand me? You’re coming home with me.” He commands.
I blink, a little startled by this change in Cooper. I drag my hand through my hair, untangling the strands as my brain tries to catch up.
Then Gray gets in Cooper’s face, his voice exploding. “I don’t fucking think so! It’s almost three in the morning. You’re not forcing her to leave my house. She can go home when she’s good and fucking ready. I’m sick of you being such a selfish bastard.”
“Don’t you fucking tell me when my wife’s coming home,” Cooper growls.
Their fists clench, and my heart races like a jack hammer.
“Stop! Please, just stop.” My voice cracks from all the animosity in the air. The way they’re looking at each other breaks my heart.
I caused this; it’s all on my shoulders. I’m ashamed and disgusted that I’ve wedged myself between them. “Cooper, look at me,” I plead.
His head swings to mine. He looks pissed off, but behind that anger is a tidal wave of hurt. He’s so lost, and I don’t know where to begin searching for him.
“Nothing’s happening here,” I whisper, desperately trying to calm him. It’s a lie, but he doesn’t need to know that. I’m handling Gray. Cooper showing up just reinforces my opinion that a fling with Grayson can never happen. “I’m going to come home. I needed a couple days to regroup after what happened in the office.” I keep my eyes on his, imploring him to understand. “I never meant to worry you. You shouldn’t be angry with Gray. He didn’t do anything. Nothing’s happened.”
He looks at me, his body trembling with pent-up anger. I breathe deeply, trying to keep myself in check so he can see I’m telling him the truth. I’m trying, for him, for us. He moves his eyes from mine and rolls his shoulders in an effort to relieve stress. I look at Gray. His eyes hold mine and I can tell that behind them he’s drowning with hurt. Whatever is between us is major for him. I hate that I’m hurting him. I hate that he’s involved in this mess. But I’ve been honest with him all along.
Cooper’s voice breaks my eye contact with Gray. “I want you to come home, Kylie. I’m sorry for what happened at the lake house. I’ll never hurt you like that again. I promise. Please come home,” he pleads.
I hear a low growl and the cracking of drywall. It bursts through the air like a dozen popping balloons. My body stiffens when I see Gray drive his fist into the wall beside him. His body trembles so forcefully that I begin to panic. His anger at Cooper is lethal, deadly and dangerous. He pulls his hand out of the wall and takes a menacing step toward him. He stops in front of Cooper’s face. My body goes on alert, fear pummeling through me. I’m so startled by the change in Gray that it becomes impossible to move.
“You listen to me, you sorry son of a bitch. I’ve talked to you about this shit for months. It’s been two years that this crap’s been going on. You bruising her that day was the last straw for me. I’m done with your bullshit. It’s taking everything in me not to rip your ass apart. I’m tired of seeing her self-destruct, and I’m not letting her do it anymore. You think you love her? You think she needs to wait until you get your sorry ass together? You’re wrong. This sick motherfucking arrangement you guys have is destroying you both. Tell me, bro, when’s the last time you laid hands on your gorgeous fucking wife and not a street whore?”
I flinch at Gray’s words. Cooper’s fists turn white. He’s trying to hold back. They’re both the same size, so a battle between them would be horrific.
“You’re out of line, bro,” Cooper retorts, like the bubbling roar of a volcano about to erupt. “You’ve gotten yourself way too involved in my life, and I’m warning you to step the fuck back. I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but this is none of your goddamn business. Get the fuck out of my face, or I’ll be forced to do something that she shouldn’t be around to see.”
“Do you want to test that theory?” Gray taunts. “Because at this point, I think Kylie’s seen more than enough shit at your hands. Her watching me kick your ass would just be another layer on the fucking disaster you two call marriage.”
Panic encases me. I need to stop this, but I’m trapped by their show of utter fury. I’ve never, not once, seen them treat each other like this. In all the years I’ve know them, they’ve been close—as close as brothers. A thought slams me. I’m contaminated, toxic to those around me. The poison I emit slowly kills everything. I’m a virus that’s impossible to get rid of.
New tears well in my tired eyes. I need to make this stop. This hate. This anger. This animosity that’s destroying our lives. I walk toward them, trying to keep my head up. My chest aches from the impact of my heart beating furiously against it. I place one hand on each of their chests. I squeeze my eyes and use everything in me to whisper, a painful plea.
“Don’t do this. Please don’t do this. I’m not worth it.” My lips quiver as tears roll down my face. Self-loathing, thick and heavy, slithers through me like a snake. “I want all of this to stop. I don’t know how to fix everything.” I turn toward Cooper. “I’ve been praying you’d come get me. That you would fight for me, but acting like this is wrong. He doesn’t deserve your anger. I came to his house, and I chose to stay. I want you to go home. I’ll call you tomorrow, and we can figure out our next step.” I turn to Gray. “I’m packing a bag, Gray, and going to a hotel. I never wanted to hurt you. God, I’ve never want to cause either of you pain, but I have, I am, and I need time away from both of you.”
I drop my hands from their chests. I feel devastated that I’ve ruined a friendship that has been a staple in their lives since they were little boys. The way we function, the way our relationships are working, is not normal. Something has to give, and it has to be me. I walk quickly down the hall to the guest room. I grab a bag and stuff my things in it. I need to get out of here. I hear footsteps on the wood floors and brace myself. I know who it is. He wouldn’t let me go without a fight.
“Kylie, don’t leave.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I turn toward the desperate voice, meeting his distraught eyes. My beautiful Gray. I’ve only brought him trouble. I can’t do it anymore. I have to figure out how to fix my life without bringing others down with me.
“I’m sorry, Gray,” I whisper, my throat tight. “I have to figure this out on my own. I need to fix my marriage, and I can’t do that while being around you all of the time. It’s killing him, Grayson. We might have an unconventional marriage, but I love him. I don’t know what’s happening between you and me, but I’ve told you, time and time again, it can’t happen.”
Gray sags against the door frame, closing his eyes. I see the defeat in how he holds himself. I want to wrap my arms around him, but we need distance. My marriage is the only thing I care about, and I’m going to fight for it.
He takes a breath, pushes off the door, and looks at me. “Just so you know, what happened tonight changes nothing for me. I’m here for you always. I know you love him. I get that. I’ve
been there with you guys from the start. I understand how you used to be. But I don’t want to see you get hurt anymore. If you need me, I’m here anytime, any day.” With that, he turns and leaves.
The moment he’s gone, I feel a small amount of peace. I need to get out of here. It’s time to assess my relationships with Grayson and Cooper. God, it’s time to assess my relationship with myself.
I zip up my bag and head for the front door. I see Cooper sitting on the floor with his head between his knees, and my heart breaks for him. How long have I been silently begging him to come get me? Too long. Tonight it was too much. I squat down, putting my hands on his face. When he looks at me, I smile and drag my fingers across his cheeks.
“I’ll call you in the morning, and we can schedule that dinner,” I say. “I’m going to the W, and I’m staying for a couple nights. I need you to think about us. We can’t keep this up. We really can’t. At some point, something has to give. I’m not sure how we can fix us, but I hope you can find a way to fight for me.” I kiss his forehead. “I love you, always.”
I move to get up, but he grips my face. He looks in my eyes and presses his lips roughly to mine. After a second we both pull back, breathing heavily. He says nothing, but behind his stare I see so much.
The next time we see each other, we’re going to have a make it or break it conversation. I hope with everything in me that it’s the former.
Three days later…
I pull up to the front of my house, park the car, and sigh with relief. Home. I’m finally home after three days of staying at a hotel. I’m meeting Cooper at eight at an Italian restaurant around the corner. He said he was heading there straight from the office. I’m nervous but hopeful. Dinner is a step in the right direction, and maybe with a couple more steps we’ll find our way. I grab my overnight bag and purse and head for the front door.
Once inside, I drop everything and peer around. It looks the same. It’s quiet, clean, and vacant. I have an hour to catch a quick shower and get dressed. I slip off my shoes and pad gently against the cool wood floors to the kitchen. The stainless steel appliances glisten, the country sink is void of dishes, and the white cabinets are spotless. I open the fridge to see if there’s anything to snack on, but it’s empty. A sharp pang hits me in the chest. I missed my house. It’s cold and lonely, but it’s my home.
Against All Odds Page 13