Liquid Assets (Liquid Regret #3)

by MJ Carnal

  “You couldn’t tell from all the pineapple I ate that night?” My stomach growls and we both belly laugh.

  “Thank you for sticking around even with all the bullshit and drama surrounding my life right now. I’m surprised you didn’t haul ass.” He kisses the top of my head as we start to dance again.

  “It will be hard to shake me now. I’m a little invested. I hope that doesn’t scare you.” I hold my breath.

  He pulls away from me and cups my cheeks. “I’m going to be the man you deserve, Rachel. I’m going to get my shit together and move past it. I don’t want to be the victim anymore. I want to be the man who stole Rachel Preston’s heart and I don’t want my family to be able to dictate what love means anymore.”

  “You are the man who stole Rachel Preston’s heart. You are exactly the man I would have picked, over and over again. You don’t need to change any part of you. I love everything that you are and that includes your past.”

  “Jesus, woman.” His lips crash against mine, his tongue owning mine. It’s the most possessive kiss I’ve ever had. His arms pull me impossibly close and I can feel every inch of him smashed against me. When he pulls away, my knees weaken. “I love you so fucking much, Rachel.”

  “I love you too, Max Callum. For everything that you are and everything that you will be.”

  We dance the next few songs before he gives in and takes me home to make love to me.

  Chapter 23

  I pace outside the restaurant where I know my father waits for me. He was all too eager to meet and discuss things. That should be a red flag but I’m so ready to leave him in my past that I just don’t care. Maddox is at the door waiting for me to decide if I’ll go in or stay outside all day. He’ll have my back so I know my safety isn’t an issue.

  “It’s now or never.” I look at Maddox and he just nods. Man of no words but one hell of a fist.

  The door opens far too easily. I can see him in the back of the restaurant looking at his menu. He’s really going to eat. He makes me sick. I tug at the neck of my shirt. I feel like I’m suffocating. I refuse to let him see the nerves. I will stand my ground, say what I need to and walk out of here a different man.

  Rachel wanted to come with me but I wouldn’t let her. I don’t want him to have the honor of seeing her or getting to know even a fraction of who she is. I know she’s waiting in her office just a mile away, cursing me for leaving her behind.

  “The prodigal son returns. To what do I owe the honor of this meeting?” He takes a sip of his coffee and part of me wants to just punch him in the face and be done. His body guard takes a step closer to him. I want to taunt him with Maddox but I’ll be an adult.

  “This isn’t a return. I have a few things I need to say.” I sit across from him and force the bile back down my throat.

  “Well, by all means, let me comply with your wishes after you ruined my career.” He’s such a smug bastard.

  “You ruined your career the day you got married and let that trash into the house. I just helped karma along a little. You know, sometimes it needs a little push.” I take a sip of the water the waitress set in front of me. “It was taking its time and I wasn’t patient.”

  “Patience was never your strong suit. Couldn’t be bothered to sit still long enough to learn something so you’d have a real career.”

  “That’s funny. My net worth blew yours away about a month ago. Guess my lack of patience really paid off.” Asshole!

  “So you don’t want money. Your mother and I were guessing why you’d called the meeting. Figured our perfect son was crawling back for some more cash.”

  My blood is boiling. Maddox cracks his knuckles and I know I need to relax. “I came to get some closure. You’ve made it crystal clear how you feel about me and Karen. You’ll never receive a father of the year award. But I wanted to find out if you were man enough to explain why you threw us both away.”

  “I didn’t throw you away. You ran away like a coward and your sister followed in your footsteps. You chose to leave. You abandoned your family and your responsibilities. I spent years trying to clean up the mess you made when you left.”

  I lean closer to my father’s face. “By cleaning up my mess, you mean replacing me with a new play thing? Your daughter? Your innocent child? The one you were supposed to protect? What a role model you were for us.”

  He stands and leans over me. His words are filled with hatred. “You listen here, you punk kid. I didn’t do this to you. I tried to make it right. I gave you thousands of dollars to make it up to you.”

  “The hush money? Is that what you’re talking about?” I shove my chair back and it slams to the floor as I stand up. I tower over him but he doesn’t back down. “Newsflash for you. Hush money wasn’t enough. You should have been a man and stood up for your children. You should have worried less about yourself and more about the future generation of Maxwells. Look at you now, Senator. How’s that all working out for you now?”

  “This conversation is over.” He grabs for his briefcase but I grab his arm. When his bodyguard steps in to stop me, Maddox is on his heels.

  “I beg to differ, Father. I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me why. We aren’t leaving here until that happens. You owe me that much. Then I’ll walk out of your life forever. You can go do whatever it is you want to do and never have to worry about your children getting in the way again.” I sit and wait. I have found my backbone and I’m not letting him walk out of here until I get the closure I need. I owe it to myself, I owe it to Karen and I owe it to my future with Rachel.

  “You would have made a fine lawyer, Callum. It’s a shame you threw that away.” He crosses his arms and stares me down.

  “I never wanted to be a lawyer. I’m nothing like you. You may have given me life but that’s all you gave me.” That one landed him square in the jaw. His whole face changes and I brace myself.

  “The answer to your question is simple. I saw more gain with your step mother than I ever saw with you kids. You had one job to do and that was be perfect for my run for office. Neither of you was capable of that. But your step mother stood by my side and did as she was told. Being obedient earned my loyalty. She earned the right to do what she wanted. She was obedient. She wanted to feel powerful and control someone. She was addicted to pills and she had an endless supply from her male friends. There was no money trail. She didn’t have to pay anything and they all got what they wanted. You were her toy and she deserved some happiness. She was loyal. The story of you going to military school did more for me than you ever would have being present.”

  Holy shit. There it is. We weren’t the perfect pawns in his game so we were disposable. I had always known that if we played the perfect family, we were rewarded. I just never had any idea that he had no soul. I knew he had no heart but no soul?

  “Furthermore, you were weak for taking it. You should have fought harder if you didn’t enjoy it. She told me you never fought back. Hard to believe you’re worthy if you have no fight in you.”

  He makes me sick. “It’s impossible to fight back when you’re drugged into submission. I may have waited a lot of years but this is me fighting back. I couldn’t do it while I was unconscious and being raped. But I sure as shit can today.”

  “Oh can you now? Have a little fight in you these days, Call?” He laughs and I envision stabbing him with his steak knife.

  I lean my hands on the table and lean over him just like he did to me. “You’ll never run for another office again. Your career is over. That’s your fault. You shouldn’t have underestimated the power of your children. Mommy dearest may have had the power to put you there but we have the power to ruin you. We will never be quiet. Never again.”

  I stand up and straighten my shirt. Senator Maxwell stares at me, eyes full of hatred and fear. I smile. I feel so free. I said what I needed to and I meant it. I will use my past as a stepping stone and not as an excuse. Maybe there are people who will be helped by my story. Perhaps there
is someone going through the same thing right now who I can save with my past. I will never stop talking. He will never shut me up. I will never lose my voice again.

  “You were paid, Callum. You were paid to keep your trap shut. You can’t just take that money. We had an agreement,” he yells after me.

  I turn around and laugh. “You’d have to prove that. And once you did, you’d have to admit what the money was for. And even if you could find a way around that, money talks Daddy. And I have a lot of it. I guarantee there are men out there willing to admit what they were allowed to do to me for a small fee paid to you and Mom.”

  “Do you know who I am?” He roars from across the room.

  “Do you know who I am? I’m Max Callum. Drummer for the most popular band in the country. Think long and hard about that before you do something stupid. Callum Maxwell is gone. You no longer have a puppet.”

  I slam out the front door of the restaurant and gasp for breath. I just stood up to the man who had all the power. I feel a thousand pounds lighter. I will spend the rest of my life dealing with what he did to me but he is no longer in charge of my future. I have the control in my life.

  Tears fill my eyes and my hands tremble. Maddox pats me on the back and leads me to the waiting car. For the first time in my entire life, I feel free.

  I stumble to get in on trembling legs. A hand reaches out to steady me and I know instantly that I am ok.

  “I couldn’t let you do this alone.” Rachel climbs into my lap in the backseat and wraps her arms around my shoulders. “I’ve never been more proud of you in all my life.”

  I cry openly and unapologetically. I’ve waited my whole life for this. My father is gone and I am in the arms of someone who truly loves me.

  Chapter 24

  I can’t catch my breath. I reach for her but she’s not there. I yell her name but there’s nothing but silence. The darkness surrounds me, suffocating me. I gasp and claw at my throat. She’s gone. I can’t wake up. I know this is a nightmare but I’m too far gone. My lungs burn. This is the time I won’t wake up. I feel myself sinking deeper.

  “Rachel.” I’m choking.

  “Max!” Her voice pierces my subconscious. “Max, wake up.”

  I feel the sting of the slap and I gulp a lung full of air. I cough and my body curls into itself. She shakes me and my eyes snap open. I sit up and gasp. I can’t find enough air. I rip my shirt over my head in hopes that will help. I feel like I’m dying.

  “Max, look at me.” Her voice is stern and I try to focus on her. My chest heaves, the weight of the world sitting on it. “Focus on my voice. You’re safe. I’m right here. No one can hurt you here. You’re at home in bed and you’re safe.”

  I nod my head and wheeze. I inhale as deeply as I can. I know I’m panicking. I can’t stop it. My heart is pounding and I’m dizzy. I grab for her hand. I need her to tether me to reality. I’m losing control.

  “You’re ok.” She pulls me into a hug. “Take a deep breath. You can breathe. It was a dream. It was just a dream. I’m here. I’ll keep you safe.”

  “Rachel.” My voice cracks and I hold her so tightly, I’m afraid I’ll hurt her.

  “You ok?” She kisses my cheeks, my forehead and my eye lids. Her voice is so calm and her love eases the ache in my chest.

  “I couldn’t find you.” My hands are shaking.

  “I was right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

  I feel like such a failure. I’m supposed to be the man and protect her from her nightmares. I’m supposed to be the one soothing her after a bad dream. I’m supposed to take care of her. I’m failing miserably. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize.” She runs her fingers through my hair. “You did something very brave today. It’s only natural you’d have a nightmare about your dad tonight. I’m here if you want to talk. You don’t have to. Either way, I’m right here.”

  “It wasn’t about my dad. It was about you. You were gone. I couldn’t find you. I’m such a lost cause, Rach. Why are you still here? You deserve so much better.”

  She takes my hand and puts it on her chest. “My heart beats for you, Max. I love you. The nightmares, the panic attacks. They’re all a part of you. But they aren’t what defines you. Your selflessness in putting yourself in the spotlight to help a friend when he was falling in love and needed to clean up his image, that helps define you. Your willingness to take a beating from a man who had lost everything and was angry at the world while you let him take it out on you, that helps define you. The joy on your face when you stood on the bride’s side while two of your best friends got married, that helps define you. Your honor when you fell in love with a woman who was off limits and the respect you had for a friend by not making a move on her, let that define you. Not the darkness. You’re an honorable man, Max. If you could see yourself through my eyes, you’d know why I’m still here.”

  This woman is a gift. She sees all my broken pieces and loves me anyway. Not despite of it but because of it. I close my eyes and send a prayer of thanks up to Della. There’s no question in my mind that she sent her my way. How something so good can come out of something so bad is hard to comprehend. The only explanation is that Della had a hand in it.

  “I need to use my past to help people. I thought about this all afternoon. There has to be something good that can come out of what I went though. Not just the fact that his life is ruined because if I focus on that, it just becomes about revenge. It needs to be more than that.”

  “That’s the healthiest thing I’ve ever heard you say.” I roll my eyes and she giggles. “I can’t always turn off the therapist. Max, this is a breakthrough.”

  I lie back and pull her to me. I kiss her gently and her body melts into mine. I rub circles on her back and she sighs.

  “What if I use my fame for something? I mean, what if I talked to kids about what happened to me? Maybe someone out there is going through the same thing and they don’t have anyone they can talk to. Is that dumb? Would anyone listen? I’d be opening myself up to criticism and I don’t know if I’m strong enough for that. But I have you to talk me down from the ledge. Maybe it’s too soon.”

  Rachel sits up and tears are falling down her cheeks. “Max, you could be their voice. You could give so many people hope. I see so many children who are abused and the only way out they can see is suicide. You could show them that life can be good after something so bad. Hope is a powerful thing.”

  I smile at her. I knew she’d understand. I knew she was the person to talk to about this idea. She’d never steer me in the wrong direction.

  “You don’t think I’m crazy?”

  “Are you kidding? I just fell more in love with you.” She throws her arms around me. “I’m a lucky woman. I’m so proud of you.”

  “So now what? I don’t even know where to start.”

  “I have a bunch of connections with the school system. I’m sure they’d welcome you in with open arms. I’ll help you as much as you want.” She wipes her eyes.

  “I’m good behind the scenes. I enjoy my fame from behind the drums, behind the guys, behind the gates of this place. I’m not much for the spotlight. I’ll need you to cheer me on. This is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

  I have a feeling it will be the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. It took me twenty-eight years and finding the love of my life to realize there’s hope in tomorrow. If I change just one person, I will have done my job.

  Chapter 25

  It’s been a week since Max had his breakthrough. I waited for his mind to change but he’s spent every waking minute coming up with a program to share with students in middle school. Seeing him bond with his sister during this process has warmed my heart. Despite the fact that their abuse was different, it doesn’t make one worse than the other. Max takes comfort knowing that none of them had sex with his sister. However, I see the shadows behind Karen’s eyes. The fear and the hatred is real and she struggles to control it. She refuses to m
eet with their father and she doesn’t want to know what was said during Max’s meeting. She just takes comfort in the knowledge that her brother is there for her.

  The buzzer on the stove goes off and I pull the lasagna out. I wanted to cook for Max tonight. My patient load was light and tonight is a big night. Harley is one year sober. It took a lot of juggling to get permission for all of us to be there with him tonight. His sponsor was more than happy to help make it happen. Max says he has a surprise for him but he’s kept it a secret from all of us.

  “That smells amazing.” Max wraps his arms around my waist.

  “I’m finally learning my way around your kitchen.”

  “Our kitchen.” He kisses the back of my neck and I shiver.

  He turns me in his arms. His kiss is gentle at first, small pecks on my lips. When I moan, he becomes more possessive. His hands tangle in my hair and he pulls my head back to deepen the kiss. His tongue is warm and strokes mine.

  He lifts me and sets my on the counter. I wrap my legs around his waist as he continues to explore my mouth. He pushes my skirt up and his fingers roam over my panties.

  “We need to eat,” I say against his lips.

  “Oh, I plan to.”

  He leans down and runs his tongue across my thigh. His eyes lock with mine as he travels toward my core. He’s such a tease and it turns me on more than he even knows. I whimper when he rubs his chin over my soaked panties.

  “I want what’s in here.” He licks the fabric covering my clit and I almost come apart. “What you cooked smells great but this smells even better. I think I’ll have my dessert first.”

  He pushes my panties aside and buries himself between my thighs. My head falls back as he sucks and bites my clit, which is now hard and at full attention. I’m on fire, every inch of my body covered in goosebumps. His tongue finds my opening and he circles it before sucking my lips into his mouth. He slips a finger inside me and circles my hardened nub with his tongue in perfect rhythm with his finger. It’s pure heaven.