by Sam Lollar
“Oh, Scott,” Regina began. “He’s beautiful.”
Thinking she meant the car, I offered, “Isn’t it a beauty? We just drove it in from Holloman.”
“Ah, dear boy, of course, the car…yes, I suppose it’s a beauty, too,” she said, chuckling to herself. “Absolutely precious, Scott. You were right. My mouth’s watering. I could just eat him up.”
Not being too sure of the turn our conversation had taken, I was feeling very uncomfortable. Was she talking about me? “Scott, I need to get back to the motel. Mrs. Schuster wanted me to do some things for her.”
“I’ll bet, doll,” Regina piped in, rolling her eyes. “I’ll just bet she has all sorts of ‘errands’ for you.” As she laughed, she held on to Scott’s arm, running her hand across his chest.
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right. Why don’t you drive the Lincoln back? I want to enjoy the Mustang a bit. I’ll bring it back later.”
We switched keys, and I got in the Lincoln. Adjusting the power seat was kind of fun, so I messed around with the other power switches. Why was I feeling so uncomfortable, yet so reluctant to leave? Finally, I started up the engine and drove off. Scott and Regina still stood by the Mustang, watching me as I drove away.
It should have taken fifteen minutes to get back to the motel, but I stopped at Der Wienerschnitzel for a couple of hot dogs. Eating in the parking lot while sitting in the Lincoln, I was truly perplexed. What was going on with Scott and the Mustang? Why was he trying to give it to me? What did he want from me? Bob’s warnings were sounding in my head as I finished eating. Eventually, I drove on up to the motel and parked in what had become “Scott’s space.”
As I entered the lobby, I saw Bob and Mrs. Schuster behind the desk.
“Thank God you’re back. It’s a madhouse around here. The woman in 140 is complaining about her toilet. Go check on it for me,” Bob said.
“The people in 210 want towels and toilet paper,” Mrs. Schuster said. “Show these people to 230 on your way.”
I was inundated to the point that I quickly forgot the unsettling episode. Exhausted by 11:30, I jumped in my Falcon and went home, sleeping fitfully as visions of huge blond hair and enormous false eyelashes filled my dreamscape. Regina, Scott, Aaron…what was happening? A titty pink Mustang, a black Lincoln Continental, and Aaron driving them all wearing a blond wig and five-inch spike heels. Such nightmares roused me several times during the night.
Chapter Six
Driving Lulu’s Mustang
“Boy, it sounds like everything revolved around the cars you were driving,” Junior and Three said almost in unison.
“I know. That’s one of the reasons that summer was so amazing for me. The cars nowadays have no soul, no panache. But the cars of the 1960s were phenomenal. It seemed that everywhere I turned, there was a car that I wanted. I still remember the cars that my friends’ parents drove. I guess that’s why I love going to the old car shows.”
“I really enjoy those old car shows with you, Granddad, but not the way you do. Think I’ll feel that way about the new cars when I’m your age?”
“You never know. We tend to like the cars we grew up with, so maybe.”
*
Miss Lulu summoned me when I came on duty the next afternoon. “Ah, my angel, it’s so good of you to come so quickly,” she said when I knocked on her door. “I’m so in need of your ministrations.”
“Yes, ma’am? What is it you need?”
“Well, you see, dear boy, Pookie and I are so frightfully bored. Mrs. Schuster suggested we go for a drive in the desert. I asked if I could perhaps ‘borrow’ you for the afternoon.”
“Um, I don’t know, ma’am,” I said, unsure what to do. “I haven’t seen Mrs. Schuster today. I’m not sure she’d like me to go off for the afternoon.”
“Not to worry, my pet. Let me ring her right now, and we can get on our way.” She dialed Mrs. Schuster’s number. I was impressed, because I never knew Mrs. Schuster’s number. In just a moment, Miss LuLu was speaking, “Dollie, dahling, this is LuLu. I have Aaron here with me now, and he’s not sure you’ll let him take me driving this afternoon. Do be a dear and convince him that it’s quite all right with you. Mm-hmm. Of course, dear. One moment. Aaron, Mrs. Schuster wants to talk with you.”
“Hello?”
“Hi, Aaron. Listen, if you really don’t want to go with her, I’ll understand. But she really is a sweet woman. I think her bark is much worse than her bite. All she wants to do is drive out in the desert. I’m sure you know some of the older highways that can give her a feel of the ‘Old West.’ How about an extra ten dollars to make up for lost tips?”
“Well, since you put it that way, Mrs. Schuster, how can I refuse? What time would you like me back?”
“Let’s see, it’s three thirty now—try to get back by seven before we start to fill up. There’s supposed to be some more Army people coming in for the Language School, so we may get busy tonight. I’ll see you then. And thanks, Aaron. I appreciate this a lot.”
My mind was racing, but I could think of no reason not to go with her. Mrs. Schuster wanted me to do it, she was going to pay me, and I would get to drive the Mustang. What could happen?
“Sure, Miss LuLu. Mrs. Schuster explained how bored you are sitting here with nothing to do. Why don’t we take the back road up to Old Mesilla? They have some great little shops, and the drive is really pretty.”
*
“That’s a place you told me about before, isn’t it, Pop? You and Mom used to go there on dates and stuff,” Junior said.
“Yeah, I was there with your mom. When I went to the university, I was always there with one friend or another about once a month back then, although there weren’t a lot of shops at the time. Mostly we just liked to drive. My friend Richard had gotten a new Camaro for his graduation present, so I loved it when he wanted to drive up there.”
*
“Ahh, you are my angel,” Miss LuLu said after my suggestion. “Let me get Pookie’s water dish and lemons, and I’m ready to go.”
“I need to run back up front for a moment. Why don’t you meet me there in about ten minutes?” I said.
“All right, dahling. I’ll see you in ten.”
Walking back to the lobby, I was able to enjoy the back side of the motel, where Miss LuLu’s room was located. This was the last area we rented out at night, so I didn’t get to see it often during the day. It was really neat, up against the wall of the old rock quarry. The heat was stifling, and I could hear a couple of air conditioner units whirring in some of the upstairs rooms. I wandered up the stairs, unsure if any of the rooms were rented. Apparently they were, because the air conditioners were on. Oh, well, I thought, I guess the night clerk, Rick, rented them after I left last night.
As I walked past one of the rooms, I saw the draperies were open a bit. I glanced in and was stunned to see a man standing with his face flat against the wall, masturbating furiously. I didn’t know whether he saw me or not, because I was so embarrassed, I fled down the stairs and dashed to the lobby. I dropped off the “Official Bellman’s Blazer” and went to the restroom. Wow, I thought. That was amazing. Some man masturbating. I couldn’t get the image out of my head. What on earth was he doing, though, with his face to the wall? Wait a minute. My mind reeled, because I realized I recognized that man. Scott. Scott was in an unoccupied room jacking off while standing against the wall. What was he doing? I had to figure out a way to find out. This place really was bizarre.
*
“Guys, would you rather I not tell you about the sexual things that occurred? You both know I’m gay, so that can’t be a surprise, but I can omit the sexual comments if you’d rather.”
“Not on your life, Granddad. This is amazing. To think you were a sexual pioneer way back when. You know, we read about the Stonewall Riots in high school—your summer was about the time all that was happening, wasn’t it?”
“Well, yes and no. Gay people were getting more and more agitated in
the big cities, what with the police harassment and all. But the Stonewall Riots didn’t happen until two years later.”
“So, okay, tell us about the dude you watched jack off.”
“Three, don’t tell your mom about this conversation,” Junior demanded.
“Oh, Dad. As if Mom and I ever have conversations. So, Granddad, go on, tell us more.”
“The guy was just standing there with his face glued to the wall, beating off as fast as his little hand could work that dick. I was so stunned I didn’t know what to do. Remember I was the most innocent eighteen-year-old kid around.”
“Were you sure it was Scott?” Junior asked. “Maybe you were imagining things.”
“Oh, no. It was Scott all right. Now let me continue. You’ll find out soon enough what was going on.”
*
Miss LuLu and Pookie walked in from the parking lot. “Oh, there you are, dahling. Pookie and I are ready anytime you are.” I glanced over at Bob, who was behind the front desk, hoping he would save me from something I couldn’t even imagine. He was grinning from ear to ear, all but laughing out loud at my predicament.
“Have fun, you two,” was all he said as Miss Lulu and Pookie ushered me out the door. I heard his outburst of laughter as the door shut behind us.
“Dear God, it’s hot out here,” Miss LuLu began.
“Yes, ma’am. I heard the weatherman say it was going to be a hundred degrees again today.”
“A hundred degrees? Jesus, how do you manage to survive? I just know I would wilt after one summer. Thank God I have air-conditioning in that car. Pookie just can’t stand this heat, can you, luscious?” she asked as she nuzzled the little dog’s fur. He was squirming, but I couldn’t tell whether it was from the heat or from her actions.
She apparently had had the air-conditioning on already, because it only took a moment for it to cool the car. We exited the parking lot, heading north out Mesa Street. Traffic was light, since it was only midafternoon. She switched on the radio. A new tune from the Beatles was playing. “I just don’t understand this new music you young people seem to be so fond of,” she noted.
“Well, I guess it’s an acquired taste.”
“I don’t see how I could ever acquire that taste.”
As we got to Doniphan Drive, I asked if she would like to drive along the river, where the trees were dense and the air was cooler.
“Oh, yes, dahling. Whatever you think would be nice.”
We drove along the levee for a while. The trees along the almost-dry river were an attractive change from the scrub desert surrounding us.
“Why, this is lovely. You’re an angel for suggesting this,” she said.
“My friends from school occasionally come up here at night. It’s always really nice and cool.”
“Tell me about your friends, doll. Do you have any girlfriends? I’d imagine a gorgeous lad like you must have dozens of young lady friends. Am I right?”
“Well,” I gulped softly, trying to think of how to steer this conversation back onto safer terrain, “I have been dating Pat for a while.”
“Pat. That’s certainly an ambiguous name. Pat. It sounds like something you give a dog, a nice pat on the head. Pat. Tell me about her.”
“She’s simply beautiful,” I said, feeling defensive about her. “She’s sweet and kind and a wonderful cook.”
“Jeez, she sounds like your grandmother. Is that why you date her, because she’s a good cook?”
“Well, n-n-no,” I stammered. “We have lots of fun when we get together.”
“And how often is that?”
“We see each other every weekend. Once or twice during the week, I’ll go over to her place for supper.”
“She’s sounding more than ever like your grandmother. What do you do for fun? Now, don’t be coy with me. I can’t imagine you two just sitting in her kitchen while she whips up one wonderful dish after another.”
Gads. I thought, that was what we did. I loved to watch Pat cook. In fact, I usually helped. She was teaching me many great dishes to make myself. “Uh, well, we go to movies and school dances and stuff like that.” I was feeling amazingly like a tongue-tied adolescent, which, after all, I suppose I was.
Mercifully, Miss LuLu dropped the inquisition and gazed out the window. Moments later, I heard a heavy sigh. Then another. Finally, she turned to me, and I noticed tears in her eyes.
“Beautiful boy, you are so fortunate to have your whole life ahead of you. You’re not corrupted by the evils of the world. Beauty is yours for the taking.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I tried to be as noncommittal as possible.
“You haven’t a clue as to what I’m talking about, do you? That in itself is just too sweet to endure. I’m talking about life. Love. Romance. The millions of adventures you have yet to experience that someone as world weary as I have seen and done a hundred times over. Oh, to be young again, to do it all over.”
“Would you?”
“Ah, how perceptive of you. I don’t know. You know, I have done some grand things, some scandalous things. I’ve been married. I’ve been with some beautiful men and some beautiful women. I’ve had adventures and narrow escapes. I’ve danced with royalty, and I’ve run for my life in foreign lands. I suppose from your perspective, I’ve done it all.”
Jeez. What a windbag, I thought. Aloud, I said, “You sound disenchanted, though. Are you happy with what you’ve done? Or do you think that, if you had it to do over again, you would?” I thought that sounded like a pretty deep question and was somewhat proud of myself for asking it.
“Oh, I don’t know. I really don’t. Some of the things I’ve done were too wonderful to give up. But other things were horrid, just horrid.” She looked back out the window at the passing scenery, sighing occasionally.
Anyway, my curiosity got the better of me and I asked, “Are you here to get married?”
“What? Married? No, of course not.”
“Well, that seems to be the main reason most mysterious people staying at the motel come for. To go to Juarez for a ‘quickie’ wedding.”
“Oh, all right, I’ll tell you this much. I’m in the process of escaping my ‘latest’ disappointment. And I do mean ‘escaping.’ The man was not sane. He was the worst of the lot, that’s for sure. I was sure he would be wonderful, but he turned out to be just like the others. Unreliable. Undependable. And unable to keep his pants zipped around those young Hollywood starlets.”
“So, you’re a Hollywood star?” I asked, trying to make her confess her true identity.
“Now, aren’t you just too clever? I’m not going to tell you who I really am. I like this aura of mystery. Only Mrs. Schuster knows who I really am.”
“And Scott.”
“Scott? Her son? How could he possibly know? Dollie promised me she wouldn’t reveal my identity to a soul.”
“Scott’s pretty smart. I think he figured who you were when he first saw you.”
“Let’s change the subject, dear boy. I’d much rather hear about you and your identities than talk about boring old me. Oh, look. What are these structures we’re passing?” She had noticed some of the decaying adobe houses that the poorer Mexican people had lived in but apparently abandoned.
“Those are just abandoned adobes.”
“Let’s stop and look at them. Do you mind? Be a dear and pull over. Here’s a real beauty. Look at how the roof is caved in. Do stop.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said, pulling the Mustang over next to one of the ramshackle adobes. I barely had time to turn the engine off before she had jumped out of the car, Pookie under one arm, as she ran over to the house.
“Look at this, dear boy. Come over here.”
“Dear boy?” If I heard that one more time, I was going to remind her of my name. In fact, I bet she didn’t even know my name. More importantly, she probably didn’t care. As I climbed through the overgrown brush in the front yard, I could hear her voice inside the structure. I entered the door and c
alled out, “Miss LuLu? Where did you go?”
“I’m back here, dahling. In what must have been a kitchen. There’s actually a water pump in here. How delightful.”
I followed her voice until I found the kitchen. It looked like nothing but a run-down hovel to me, but I suppose it was entertaining to her. As she set Pookie on the floor, I heard her gasp. “Ooh,” she said.
“What’s the matter?” I was getting a bit concerned because she didn’t want to stand up. “Are you hurt?”
She burst out laughing. “No, angel, I’m not hurt, but I’m afraid my living bra just died. I seem to have broken both bra straps right now. I hope you don’t mind.”
I was just about to ask why I should mind when she stood up. Her lightweight summer dress didn’t do much to hide her bosom as her brassiere drooped lower and lower.
“Oh, my,” I said, turning away.
“Oh, please. Don’t be an ass. I’m sure you’ve seen lots of titties before.”
“Well…”
“Oh, my God. Don’t tell me you’re a virgin?”
“I’ll wait in the car until you can get yourself organized,” I said.
“Oh, now I’ve gone and embarrassed you, haven’t I? I think that is just too sweet. You really are a treasure. So innocent. Look at me, dahling. Am I really that awful? Do I seem so revolting to you?”
“No, ma’am,” I said. “I just don’t know what to say.”
“And I think that is the sweetest thing you could say. Now help me with this thing. Undo the hook in back, will you please? I’m just going to take the damn thing off. It’s not doing me any good this way.”
“Uh, I don’t think I should be doing this.”
“Why not, for God’s sake? It’s just a brassiere. It’s not my Kotex. Get over here and unhook me.”
Fearing she might get really angry, I walked behind her and managed to undo her bra.
“There, that’s better,” she said as she pulled it off and through one of the sleeves. “Know what I’m going to do with this?”