5 Weeks

by June Hopkins

  As he makes his way up I go into the kitchen and put the kettle on; it's only 7.30 and I stand at the sink and stare blankly out at the front garden. A movement near the gate startles me and I do a double take as I realise it's James coming up the path. Shit, umm, hide. I dive down onto the floor and press up against the units. Did he see me? Oh God, what am I doing? I am such an idiot. I stay here for what seems like ages. He hasn't knocked but I'm sure I heard the gate; he must have left. For the second time today I slowly stretch up to peer over the sink unit. I rise higher and higher until I can see into the garden but hopefully not be seen and, as the coast appears to be clear, I decide to make a run for it into the lounge as I know I've shut the curtains in there (much more cinema-like). I am nearly at full height now, but I keep my shoulders hunched over and prepare to run when a bang comes on the kitchen window that nearly makes me shoot through the roof.

  I come bolt upright with a jolt and find myself face to face with James who is grinning at me through the window. Flipping eck. I try to gamely smile back and mutter a “Hi” at him along with a gesture at the front door, “Come in," I call jovially.

  He turns away to the door and I have approximately 30 seconds to gather my wits before he enters the kitchen. I know I'm blushing; I can feel it in my cheeks and my neck. I must look like a tomato; my whole face is burning.

  "Alright?" he asks as he enters the room, dwarfing it with his size.

  I can only nod mutely, I appear to have lost the power of speech. Those wits I hoped to gather have literally shot off in all directions and I stare at James like a mental patient.

  "I texted; you didn't reply, so I thought I'd better come over and make sure you were ok." he enlightens me. As he's speaking his eyes are searching my face but I can't read his thoughts. I'm not sure if it's confusion or embarrassment or pity.

  I give myself a shake and try to speak but all I manage is a squeaked "Sorry". I feel myself getting hotter, a lump is forming in my throat. I know I am going to cry and there is nothing I can do to stop it. James evidently gets this as well; he rushes to me and takes me in his strong arms and I sob like a baby for a ridiculous amount of time, right there in the kitchen. Great hulking sobs: snot, dribble, the works, all down the front of his obviously clean white shirt. Is there no end to the humiliation I am prepared to heap onto this poor man?

  Eventually I pull myself together and sniff loudly, "Oh God James I'm soo sorry." I manage to get out between breaths. I pull away and shove a tea towel at him before running up the stairs to sort myself out. After spending ages in the bathroom calming myself, I splash cold water on my puffy red eyes and nose. Why can't I cry like they do in the films, all cute looking, with just a few tears slowly running down the face like Demi Moore in Ghost? No, not me. I look in the mirror and I look like elephant woman, which is just great but there's nothing to be done. I can't hide up here all night and nothing short of an ice pack is going to bring down the swelling, so I take a deep breath and leave the bathroom.

  I check on Harry, he has managed to get his pyjamas on but has fallen asleep on top of the covers. Oh great, now I'm a bad mother to boot. I go in and manoeuvre him under the duvet; I kiss his beautiful face and draw the curtains leaving him to his dreams. I have some explaining to do and so I make my way downstairs.

  Chapter 7

  James is sitting in the lounge; he is lolling on the sofa, his long legs stretched out in front of him as if he hasn't a care in the world. He is happily sipping a mug of tea and I notice there is another for me on the coffee table which I gratefully pick up and cradle in my cold hands. Sitting in the armchair opposite him I wait for him to speak, mainly because I still don't know what to say.

  I keep my head down and I know that he is watching me. "Annie, I think we need to talk," he tells me gently.

  "I know." I mutter at him. Bloody hell; I sound like a moronic teenager. Oh for goodness sake, what's the matter with me? I force myself to look at him.

  "Look, James, I'm so sorry, I know it was my fault. I feel awful but I don't want us to get all silly and embarrassed about it. Can't we just forget it happened and go back to being just good friends?" I'm proud of my little speech. I kept eye contact throughout, my voice was steady and controlled; I very nearly convinced myself.

  James raises an eyebrow in surprise as well he might, considering the only one of us behaving silly and embarrassed is me. After all, he wasn't the one hiding behind the kitchen units and I know he knows that I was.

  He has a smile playing around his lips which he is obviously trying to reign in.

  This annoys me, "Stop laughing at me," I tell him in an authoritative tone of voice. Unfortunately this only results in a full blown guffaw. I am angry now and jump up from my chair, mug in hand, "Do you want to wear this tea?" I threaten. James just laughs even more.

  "Oh Annie, lighten up," he chokes at me.

  This is not helping at all. I stand menacingly over him. I know my face is red again; I can feel my cheeks burning with indignation.

  "Lighten up?" I bend towards him and hiss. "Lighten up? Jesus, why can you never take anything seriously? I'm not one of your floosies, James. I'm supposed to be your mate. Don't you see? How are we expected to carry on as if nothing has happened?"

  He stares up at me, "Annie it's not that bad."

  "Not that bad? Not that bad? Of course it's bad. We slept together, and it doesn't get much worse James, for crying out loud."

  This stops his laughter in its tracks. He leans slowly back into the sofa and calmly looks me in the eye, "Well, I don't see what's so bad. I don't know about you, but I can honestly say that you are the best sex I've ever had." He states this without so much of a flicker of a smile; his eyes have not left mine. His tone of voice is confident with no hint of amusement. Good grief, he's serious.

  I feel my jaw drop, you could knock me down with a feather. I am staring at him with wide, surprised eyes. I sit back down slowly. Nobody has ever said anything like that to me before in my life. What a revelation. I am somebody's best sex ever. Me, Annie Farnsworth; somebody's best sex. I am flabbergasted. James is just watching me, waiting for me to speak, I suppose, but more than that, he is definitely nervous about my reaction to this phenomenal statement. I can tell, and this is confirmed when he pushes his hand through his hair making it stick up slightly. He always does that when he's worried or stressed. He's actually scared about my response. Well I never. For all his calm façade, he is nervous. I smile; I feel it breaking out, I am virtually beaming at him. Well, you can't blame me, I have never been so flattered.

  "I suppose it wasn't bad," I tell him with mock indifference. This statement earns me a cushion, hitting me with some force but it's enough to break me out of my stupor and I laugh. I laugh a lot.

  It's 11.00 pm. I am snuggled up in my bed and I'm still smiling. I can't deny feeling just a little smug. Eat your heart out Elkie. James left at ten as he had to get back to the pub. He's left me with rather a lot of food for thought. After the bombshell, we chatted for ages. I had to admit to having had exactly the same feeling. Well I couldn't leave him like that, all nervous and agitated, it's just not fair. So we both had to be honest with each other, which we were. We are both a little stunned at events and more than a little surprised that there could well be something more than friendship between us. James has put a proposal forward and I have agreed to it.

  We are going to spend some time together before he goes away. I suppose you might say we are going to try dating but there will be no more sex. I have to admit to feeling a little disappointed at this clause, but I see the logic. He says sex will confuse the issue and make it harder to stay friends if we don't get on. As I said, James is a sensible type of person. Given my confession last night re Tom, Harry etc, he thinks we should not make any major decisions about relationships until after the wedding and Tom's visit.

  He pointed out to me that I am very likely still in love with Tom and his return home could change everything. James doesn't want to
be caught up in that. He quite rightly doesn't want to start a relationship now, only for me to dump him for another before it even gets off the ground. After all, he's been there, done that, got the t-shirt. I tried to argue that I am most definitely not still in love with Tom, but had to concede that I don't really know how I will feel when I clap eyes on him again.

  Therefore the proposition is this; that we spend some quality time together before James goes on holiday and more importantly before Tom's arrival. James says he wants to be in with a fighting chance. He is sooo cute. He wants to take me out and generally show me a good time; see if we hit it off. Once Tom has been and gone and the aftermath of his visit, whatever that may be, has calmed down, we will decide if we want to be together or not.

  I think this is a very reasonable request. I only wish that Tom wasn't involved in the decision making but I honestly can't argue with it. Tom's return is going to be a pretty monumental event in my life. What if he comes back and wants to sweep me up in his arms, well maybe into them, and carry or lead me off into the sunset, Harry holding hands between us? Well it could happen. How will I feel about him when I see him again? I can't answer this, but better to be safe than sorry.

  My feelings for James have shifted somewhat in the last few hours. I've always loved him as a friend which is easy to do when there is no attraction involved, but now that sexual chemistry has entered the arena I have to admit that a relationship with James could be very pleasant indeed. His proposition it appears, leaves me in a win-win situation. If Tom turns out to be a damp squib I have a fall back position with James. This thought immediately makes me feel bad. I feel as if I'm using James. I did point this out to him but he reassured me that he can cope. He also pointed out that his track record is pretty rubbish and the deal could be off within two weeks if I turn out to be as forgettable as his other conquests. Charming!

  Anyway, he's taking Harry and me out to Sunday lunch tomorrow. Harry adores James and is used to spending time with him and we've agreed to keep it low key when he's around. In fact we have decided not to tell anyone, just in case it doesn't work out. I snuggle down further. The day didn't turn out that bad in the end after all, and I have to admit to feeling more than a little excited about seeing James again tomorrow. I wriggle my toes in anticipation; I actually have butterflies. Who knew?

  Sunday is a beautiful summer's day; we are sitting in a pub garden 15 miles away from the village. We have just eaten a huge roast dinner and James and I are stuffed as we sip our coffees and watch Harry chasing the pub's dog around the garden. The owners are old friends of ours. Liz is the same age as James; they went to school together. She had lived in Little Becksley until she met and married Kevin nine years ago. Liz is loud and brash with knowing brown eyes and startling dyed red curly hair. I love her to bits. She is great fun and a great friend. Kev is a wanna-be-biker. He is built like James but a little shorter; he is bald and sports an array of tattoos the like of which I have never seen before. He looks pretty scary but is in fact one of the softest people I know. He owns a beautiful Harley Davidson which he loves almost as much as Liz, but not quite. He is completely smitten with Liz; they make the best couple.

  He is also the most amazing chef. People come from miles around to eat his food. They work hard and play harder and I have spent some of my best social times in their company. You can't fail to enjoy yourself when they are about. They also adore Harry and quite often have him to stay as Liz can't have kids of her own. She says she isn't bothered and most of the time I believe her, but there is something so wrong about it. Harry loves both of them to pieces and it always seems such a shame that they have been denied the love of their own children when they would make such fabulous parents.

  The pub is packed today but Kev insists on doing all of the cooking even though Liz keeps on at him to get in another chef. He won't join us until everyone has been fed. We are used to that. We try and come here at least every couple of months to eat, as well as various family and friends’ birthdays, anniversary meals and so on.

  Normally I am impatient for them to come out, but today it feels different. I would quite happily spend the rest of the day alone with James in a darkened room somewhere. I don't know what's come over me; it's bizarre. Every time I look at him I want to rip his clothes off and he knows it. He keeps giving me wiggling eyebrows when he catches me leering at him and we have spent the last couple of hours giggling like a couple of kids. Even Harry is slightly bemused and keeps shaking his head at us and sighing, which just makes us giggle even more.

  Tom's imminent arrival has been forgotten, apart from a fleeting uneasy thought when I woke up this morning. But as I managed all those years ago, I have once again parcelled him up and shoved him to the recesses of my brain. I will deal with it, him, when the time comes. For now I am enjoying myself and as I haven't had that feeling for an awfully long time I am going to make the most of it.

  I am staring at James again as if seeing him for the first time, “What are you thinking?" he leans across the table and asks me quietly with a smile.

  "Oh, I think you know exactly what I'm thinking," I tell him with a flirty air.

  He grins at me and stays leant over the table. I lean in as well and our faces are just inches from each other.

  "Oh God Annie, you have no idea just how much I want to kiss you right now," he groans at me.

  "Oh, I think I might James, but I bet your want is not a patch on mine," I whisper back at him.

  He grins again, "Is that right? Well how about we just throw caution to the wind and I ravish you right here and now, on this table, in front of the customers?"

  "Humm what a fabulously great idea, and how do you think Kev and Liz will feel about an impromptu sex show live in the grounds, not to mention Harry?"

  "Ahh fair enough. Although I believe Kev and Liz would probably chuck us a few quid for entertaining the customers." We sit there and grin inanely at each other.

  "Ey up, what's goin’ on ‘ere then?" Kev makes us jump as we look up and see him and Liz staring at us with amused looks on their faces. We pull back from each other flustered at being caught out and, at the same time, begin telling them that nothing is going on and we don't know what he is talking about. Unfortunately as we are both gabbling at once, we only succeed in making ourselves sound more guilty.

  I am blushing furiously and Liz and Kev burst out laughing as they take a seat next to us. Liz nudges me over and shoves my arm. "Oh Annie, calm down. It's about time the two of you worked it out. We realised years ago," she laughs at us.

  "Worked what out? What are you on about Liz?" I ask innocently.

  Kev snorts, "Nice try girl, but we had you clocked. Like Liz said, we have always thought the two of you should be a couple, but if you want to keep it quiet, we won't breathe a word. Will us Liz?"

  "Absolutely not, our lips are sealed," Liz states with a grin and then makes a closing motion across her lips, locks them and throws away the imaginary key. We all stare at each other. I glance at James for his reaction and he winks at me.

  "Oh sod that," Liz pipes up again. “How long have you been at it then?" she demands of us and we all start laughing. Liz is not really known for her tact; she tends to call a spade a spade. "Well come on, spill." She looks between us expectantly and eventually James can't help himself and does indeed spill. "Friday night, ok? You happy now?" God he would be useless as a prisoner; there would certainly be no need for torture: just a quick peek at the thumb screws and he'd be blurting out state secrets with gusto.

  "Ha, I knew it" Liz shouts earning us some strange looks from the other customers.

  "Well so much for keeping it a secret," I state accusingly at James, as I send him “what are you playing at” looks across the table.

  "Ahh, it won't hurt to tell Kev and Liz, Annie. Come on, they live far enough away and it's nice to tell someone don't you think?" he pleads with me.

  I laugh, "I don't care, you plonker. It's not me that wanted to keep it secret,
is it?"

  "No, fair point. We're going to give it a try; see how we get on," he enlightens Kev and Liz, "But not a word to Harry, please. Don't want to upset the little fella if things don't work out."

  "No probs mate, you can count on us. Although if you want to keep it quiet maybe you ought to stop looking at each other like you want to shag each other’s brains out." This statement causes a great deal of hilarity between the two of them and James and I look at each other and grin. They probably have a point.

  The rest of the week flies by. I have had the piss taken out of me relentlessly by the customers over the knickers incident. Ralph and Jimmy have, it appears, regaled every man and his dog with their tale, delighting in the telling. They have not shut up about it. I have gritted my teeth and smiled through the onslaught, sticking to my story that I had been out running and as it had been so early and I was half asleep, obviously the knickers had been tangled up with my jeans or my top and I hadn't noticed. Of course no one believes me but I am rigid in my defence. James finds the whole thing hilarious and has not helped me at all; he has joined in with the interrogation, with an innocent air about him. He just waggles his eyebrows at me and winks when people aren't looking, which is infuriating as I have to suffer alone in silence. Bloody git!

  We have spent as much time together as possible, at work and out of it. The fun is in trying to keep it a secret from the customers if you discount the knicker incident. We have spent an awful lot of time in the cellar snogging the faces off each other (we are allowed to kiss!); therefore, we have been making the most of it and at every opportunity. The no sex rule hasn't been broken yet. You wouldn't believe how difficult that has been, but James is right. If this all comes to nothing it will be so much harder to remain friends if we've been at it like rabbits for weeks. It has to be said I've never been this horny; never had so many cold showers. Believe me they don't work. Of course the copious amounts of kissing doesn't help with the no sex rule, and we have had a number of close shaves and got rather a little too carried away on occasions. If James hadn't been so strong willed there would have been no stopping us, as quite honestly I don't help matters. I have been reprimanded several times for pushing it too far and I am guilty as charged, but there is something about him that really turns me on. I can't remember the last time I felt like this, or should I say someone has made me feel like this. James is making me crazy and I am not sure if I can keep up this no sex rule for much longer. After all, before last week it had been a very long time since I'd had any. With this in mind I have a plan which I fully intend to carry out to its rightful conclusion.