"Wow. Is it really that hard to believe that I could have other plans that don't involve work, you or Dar… him."
Ouch. There was that sting again when I tried to say his name.
"Yes it is hard to believe. Since you have been here you have lived in your own little depressive Louise Hart world. So forgive me for being surprised. Are you going to tell me what your plans are?"
I take a deep breath as I see the huge NYSSA building loom up ahead of us, knowing that now I’ve said this much, I had to say it all.
"I have a date."
When she doesn’t say anything, I carry on.
"With Brett."
Now I had her attention.
"Are you out of your tiny little dwarf mind? There is no way I am letting you go on a date with Brett."
Anger rises inside me. I appreciated that she was here trying to help me, but she had no right to tell me how to live my life.
"There is no way you are going to stop me. I'm an adult Samantha. It is not up to you who I date."
"You can't date him Louise. You broke up with Drew YESTERDAY. I'm not an idiot, you two have wanted each other for ages, it wasn't just some quick flash in the pan. What you two had was real. And never mind all that, what about the fact that Drew has warned us to stay away? Brett is bad news Lou. Don't do this. "
I sigh and fold my arms across my chest in defence. I was tired of having to explain things now. Why had I ever opened my mouth?
"I can't believe after what you witnessed yesterday you can stand there defending Dar…. Defending him."
"If you can't even say his name without it causing you pain, then you should not be going on this date. End of story."
"Why are you being like this? He used me. He screwed me over in every sense of the word and then he spat me out and broke my … well, he … he used me. And you are defending the guy. Why would you do that?"
Anger and sympathy flashes through her eyes. Once she got going, the fiery Latino personality always came out.
"Oh come on. You would have to be blind not to see how much it hurt him doing what he did yesterday. I don't know what's going on, and I hate him for hurting you… but there is no way he wanted to do that. He was broken Louise. You know he was. He didn't mean any of it."
I shake my head, exasperated.
"And you would have to be blind not to see him for what he is. He sleeps around. He has been trying to add me to his long list for months and he finally got what he wanted. Oh, and you want to know the beef with him and Brett? He wanted to shag some chick who was into Brett before she even looked at Drew. Brett and this girl fell in love, then in came Drew and shitted it all up. He slept with the girl and completely broke his brothers trust, ruining Bretts relationship with the girl. And he is calling Brett dangerous? He is a jerk. And I can't believe I have to explain and defend myself to you after what he has done."
"And you believed Bretts tale did you? Well you are more gullible than I first thought. And don't call them brothers, they are step brothers."
I stare at her open-mouthed. How could she still stand there defending Drew after everything I said?
"You really have Drew painted as a hero here don't you? I am going on this date and you and Evans can go to hell. "
With that, I stomp off into the building for my first class. It was dance and the anger I had inside me actually earned me some praise off Amber which was a first. I was still stewing by the time I walked into lunch. Luckily, Samantha wasn't anywhere to be seen.
I sit down with my tray and flinch as I see Drew sitting at the table across the hall. It was the first time I had seen him by himself since we started NYSSA. He looked in even more of a state than he did yesterday. His hair was wild, he hadn't shaved and even from here, his eyes looked tired. He was staring down at his tray not eating anything. I wanted so bad to go over to him, hug him and tell him that it would all be OK. He looked so forlorn that I almost started to believe what Samantha had said earlier. He looked like a broken man and it was breaking my heart to see him like that.
Just as I picked up the courage to go and see if he was OK, a thud on the table startled me.
"Hey you, just checking we are still on for tonight?"
I look at the huge bunch of flowers that had just been dropped on my table. When I look up, Brett is in front of me.
I stand up, not knowing how to act around him. I felt awkward.
"Brett, what… what are you doing here?"
"I just said, I wanted to check we were still OK for tonight?"
"No I don't mean that, I mean why did they let you in? You aren't a student here."
"Jeez Louise, most girls would just say thanks for the flowers and see you tonight. What's with the twenty questions?"
His angry tone unsettles me.
"Right. Sorry. Thanks. They are lovely. And yes. I will see you tonight."
I try to smile, the last thing I wanted was Brett to be mad. I had already argued with Samantha this morning, I didn’t need to add another to my list.
"What the fuck is going on?"
Venom peppered Drews voice. I didn’t realise he had walked over. I could feel that under current bubbling, that charge that was always there when he was near. He wasn't looking at me, he was staring at Brett. His eyes angrier than I had ever seen.
"Hey little Bro, how's it going?" Brett smirks at Drew. It was an unmistakable dig.
"Stay away from her. Get out before I knock you into next week."
"Drew… calm down. Don't do anything stupid, you will get thrown out of NYSSA and you worked so hard to get here."
I hadn't realised that I had taken in his hand in mine as I spoke. It was automatic. He shrugs me off, almost flinching at my touch.
"I don't give a shit about NYSSA anymore. What's going on. Why is he here?"
"It's nothing." I mutter, embarrassed that this was all taking place here. Why did Brett have to show up in the food hall of all places? Part of me couldn’t help thinking it was because he knew he would have a captive audience. Drew being here to witness would just be the icing on the cake no doubt.
"Louise and I have a date tonight. I was just checking she was still up for it."
Bretts arm slips around my waist. If I thought Drew looked angry before, it had nothing on the poison radiating from him now.
"Over my dead body."
The silence after he speaks is deafening. You could hear a pin drop it was so quiet. Nobody dared move.
"Don't be so dramatic. You dumped her remember, I am just mending her broken heart."
It was clear Brett had come here to rub it in. I never factored in Bretts affections, this had all just been a plan to get to Drew. The battle was between them and it had nothing to do with me. I step away from both of them, creating a distance.
"Nobody will be mending my broken heart. You think my heart is broken over him?"
I gesture at Drew.
"As if. It takes a lot more than a coward of a man like him to break my heart. Brett, I’m going to have to decline the date tonight. I am sorry, I hope you both find another innocent girl to use as a pawn in your game. But I am done."
I don't look back as I walk out. I decide to ditch the rest of the classes for the day. I needed the afternoon to clear my head.
As I near my building I hear Drews voice calling me. I carry on walking until I get to my room, leaving the door open. There was no point in closing it, I knew he would be walking right on in. I have my back to him as he hovers at my doorway. I look out of the tiny square window. It’s so dirty I can barely see out of it. No amount of cleaning had helped, it was filthy when I got here.
"What possessed you to agree to a date with him? Why? Why would you do that?"
He is breathless, he had been running to catch up with me. I don't answer. I can't. The thought of him being this close to me, in my room, just made me want to touch him. I couldn't bear him being so near yet so out of reach. We had something between us, an invisible tether. He might not have
felt it anymore, but I still did.
He walks up behind me, his breath warm on my neck as he wraps his arms around my waist. He kisses my shoulder. I want to fight him off, but I can’t.
"Answer me. Why him Louise?"
I close my eyes as he holds me close. I hated him for doing this to me. For making me feel this way when I was with him and breaking my heart all at the same time.
"You have a short memory Drew Evans. You dumped me, remember?"
"I didn't. Not really. I was made to do it. I love you so much it hurts. I have to be with you."
I frown, turning to face him. I touch his face. He was magnetic, I couldn’t help it. His jaw line was rough where he hadn't shaved, but it just made him look sexier than ever.
"That doesn't make sense. I thought what we had, what we did over the weekend was real. It felt so right. Then you ditched me. You told me you used me for sex. I can't just pretend you didn't say it, what the hell am I supposed to think? I don't understand."
His golden brown eyes look deep into mine. He wouldn’t be out of place in one of those vampire movies. He was the definition of perfect. He nuzzles into my palm, momentarily closing his eyes. Then he kisses me. I felt powerless to stop him. I didn't want it to end. There was anger in the kiss, anger and frustration. I could feel that he had missed me these last two days. At least that was something. I was breathless when we finally came up for air.
"This is all real. Please believe me. I never meant to hurt you. I had no choice. But now, I don't care what happens. I have to be with you. I will protect you. Nothing bad will ever happen, I will make sure of that. The thought of him touching you, taking you on a date…. I….I could kill him."
I shudder. I had never seen him like this.
"Drew, I know it must have annoyed to you to see us together, but saying you could kill him? You are being dramatic."
He breaks apart from me like he’s just been burnt. He starts pacing my tiny room, shaking his head.
"Dramatic? You think I’m being dramatic? Even killing him isn't enough. He killed my Mom. He killed my sister. He murdered them and he got away with it.”
It was suddenly very cold in this room. My head hurt as he carried on talking.
“He….he threatened to kill you if I didn't end it. Do you think I wanted to hurt you yesterday? I finally had something good in my life, I felt like I could breathe again….then Brett comes along and fucks it all up for me."
He collapses on my creaky bed, his head in his hands. I stand there frozen for a second, not knowing what to do, not knowing what to say. I snap out of it and crouch down in front of him, imploring him to look at me. When he eventually does, a tear falls down his cheek, his eyes misty.
I wipe it away gently.
"What happened to your Mom and sister Drew? Talk to me. Tell me."
He is trembling now, shaking his head again as if it were all a bad dream. His handsome features were twisted in agony. I didn’t know how to help him.
"Brett hated us, right from the start. He hated the fact my Mom fell in love with his Dad. He tried to sabotage the wedding. Three years ago, Dad was away on a business trip. Brett had been jabbing at me for a few months about how he was going to make me pay just for being alive. He hated me Louise, it was pure loathing on his part. I thought he was all talk. I never thought he would do anything. I never knew he would go that far."
He pauses. It was clear that horrific memories were swimming round his brain.
"It was a normal, boring day at school. Dad was due to come back any day, I couldn’t wait. I needed him back home to warn him about how psychotic Brett was becoming. He needed to know that his stepson was not all he made himself out to be. I saw all these fire engines, cop cars and two ambulances outside my house. Even as I saw them, I remember humming a happy tune. There was no way all these cars and trucks were at my house. No way. But as I edged closer, I realised they were. I had never felt anything like that. Ice-cold fear clutched my heart as I looked at the scene around me. Sheer panic over took my whole body.
I saw Brett with two police officers, so I headed straight for them. He had his hand wrapped in a bandage. He was crying. Or doing a good job of crying. When I approached the officers, they pulled me to the side and informed me that my sister was dead. One of them was pretty matter of fact about it. She died in the fire, she was only thirteen. Libby. Just thirteen years old."
By this point, I had tears streaming down my face as I listened. He had never let on that he had been through something so horrific. I couldn’t help but wonder what Libby had been like.
"I am so sorry."
I knew the words weren’t enough. Nothing could help his pain. He took a deep breath and carried on.
"My Mom was taken to hospital. It wasn't looking good. Brett and I were escorted to the hospital and made to wait in a cold , bright room. As soon as we were alone, Brett started laughing. I looked at him, thinking he had gone insane. Who could possibly laugh at a time like this? Then he looked me straight in the eye and told me he had burnt down the house, locking the doors so Mom and Libby couldn't get out. I told him he was crazy, not because I thought he had done it, but because I thought he was losing his mind. I was genuinely worried for him. I was too numb to believe him. I excused his behaviour. I thought he was in a deep state of shock and was just saying things. The next day, he made me watch a video on his phone. The video showed my Mom drinking a load of alcohol that afternoon, he had been secretly filming her. Why? I don’t know. The video cut to him dousing the house with petrol and setting it alight. He had actually filmed himself doing it, grinning manically for the camera. He did it in broad daylight and nobody saw it. Nobody. A few days later, he filmed himself going into my Moms hospital room and taking one of her breathing tubes out. He took great delight in showing me. She was horrifically burned; seventy percent of her body had been scarred. It looked unlikely she was going to pull through, but he killed her."
His voice broke. I took him in my arms, holding him, soothing him.
"Ssshhh. I’m here. I’m here, it’s OK. He….he would have been caught. He would be in jail right now."
He shook his head. He seemed exhausted.
"He destroyed the phone before I had a chance to go to the cops. They didn’t even open up a case file. My Dad paid them not to look into it after traces of burnt out vodka bottles were found. They put it down to my Mom being a drunk, and accidentally burning the house down with a candle while under the influence. If they had just investigated, they would have seen it was set on fire. It wasn’t an accident. It was cold blooded murder."
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
"How could they not investigate. It’s their job to know the difference between arson and an accident. Surely one of the firemen could tell?”
Drew scoffed, rubbing his tired eyes.
"Like I said, My Dad wanted the case closed as quick as possible. He didn't want word getting out that his wife was a drunk who had killed her own daughter in a tragic house fire. He is a very influential and important man, he didn't want a scandal like that on his hands. He paid a lot of people to keep it hush hush. Brett told me a few days later he had wanted to kill me , but he realised it would hurt me more to see my family die. That is how fucked up he is. I tried to tell my Dad of course. I tried to tell everyone. They put it down to grief. They thought I was trying to blame Brett because I was consumed with grief. Brett was a hero, he went into the house to try and save them. That’s why his hand was all bandaged when I got there. When I told them all he had killed Mom at the hospital, they laughed even more, she was in a bad way after the fire and nature had taken its course. They tried to put me on medication, I think they all thought I was having a breakdown. Then Brett concocted this bullshit story about how I was jealous over some girl who had chosen him over me, and the police, my Dad, everyone… believed him over me. They believed that I had made up this stuff about Brett because I was jealous and because I was out of my mind with grief. I was fi
fteen for fuck sake, I couldn't give a shit about girls. My Dad took it upon himself to feel guilty about my behaviour towards Brett and he has looked after him ever since. He got away with two murders, in broad daylight…. And I can never prove otherwise."
This was too much to take in.
"He had been spying on us yesterday morning, he saw us together. He was waiting for me after I walked you home. He told me he would kill you unless I ended it. He said he couldn’t stand to see me happy. I had to do what he said, I had to break your heart. But I can’t give into him anymore. I know he’s going to kill me anyway. I can’t go through life trying to please him. It’s time to take a stand. I will never let him hurt you.”
I was helpless. I had no idea how to make him feel better. My grief at my parents accident was another level, but to know your family members had been killed by your own step-brother…how did you get over something like that?
"I'm not scared as long as I’m with you. He’s going to rot in hell for what he did. We will find a way to bring him down. He won’t get away with it Drew. I promise."
As much as I desperately wanted to believe what I was saying, what if he never paid? What if Brett terrorised Drew forever? No. I couldn’t let it happen.
Chapter Sixteen - Louise
We spent the next two hours talking. He tried to put on a brave face as he told me all about his love for his little sister and Mom. I could see he was broken. He told me about his Dad was forever throwing money at him which was why he had such a nice house to himself. It was obvious his Dad felt guilty for taking Bretts side over his own sons, and this was his way of compensating. Money. As if money could make up for losing his sister and Mom.
He told me with despair how nothing could have been done the last three years, that no matter what he said, he could never prove that Brett had done it. When he tells me how Brett will be the end of him one day, how Brett will either kill him or everyone around him, I shiver.
“I wish I had never met you. I wish with all my heart that I didn’t know you and that I didn’t love you. Because now, you are number one on Bretts hit list. I can’t stand it.”
Take A Bite Of My Heart Tonight Page 15