“Where’s Aaron with my beer?” Cole twisted in his seat. “Where the hell did he go?”
“I thought he was at the bar.” Matt glanced around but didn’t appear as concerned as Cole. “So who’s left then?”
Jake ticked the last four names off on his fingers, a face filling his mind’s eye with each one. “Felipe Rios, Bruno Ortega, Pablo Castillo and Santiago Medina.”
“Medina? Is he part of the Medina Cartel?” Eric asked. He always picked the oddest moments to pull out a random tidbit of information. As the youngest member of the group, he’d transferred straight from patrol to SWAT. Jake wasn’t even sure he was old enough to really know anything about the Medina Cartel.
“A distant relation,” Jake replied. “I always got the idea the cartel wasn’t too fond of Santiago. They got some of their supply from the cartel years back, but there was a falling-out and one of the cartel employees wound up dead in Texas. Rumor was Santiago pulled the trigger. Haven’t seen Medina Cartel product here in a long time.” The details of the case were so easy to recall. At one point Jake had been able to nearly recite the whole box of files from memory. At least until a sassy redhead became the most important thing in his life.
“Where did Aaron go?” Cole pushed off the stool, peering around the mostly empty bar. It was early enough the only patrons were people like them, just off work and looking to unwind with one or two cold ones.
“Maybe he fell into the pot and needs you to help him out,” Matt replied.
“Fuck you, Lawrence.” Cole balled up a napkin and launched it at the other man before heading off to the restroom.
“Did Becca leave or something?” Eric glanced at the empty seat.
“I don’t know.” Jake slid off the stool and stretched, his half-finished beer on the table. “I’m heading out.”
“Later.” Matt slapped his shoulder as he walked past.
Jake stepped out into the sunshine and squinted. It was too early to go to the old house. Besides, he needed a shower and to clean up before he went to see Nicole again. Last time had been raw, primal in his need for her. That wouldn’t work this time.
He needed a new plan. Good thing he had one.
* * * * *
Nicole accepted the hot tea from Tanya and eased back into the couch. Over the last few hours she was pretty sure it had rearranged to cradle her.
“Cole just called. They had a really messy mission and wrapped it up not long ago. He’s finishing up a drink with the guys and will be home in a bit. I think there’s pizza in our future.” Tanya sat on the couch next to her, curling her legs under her. They’d made small talk for the last few hours and amazingly, the more time Nicole spent around Tanya the more she liked her.
“Is everyone okay?” Nicole couldn’t help the kick of nerves and nausea every time she wondered if Jake and the others were safe.
“Yeah, sounds like there were a few scrapes, but none of them were hurt.” Tanya studied her over the top of her cup. “How are you doing?”
Nicole bit her lip. Oh, she’d told Tanya about the cake and the stupid joke at the office but not about the crazy sex in the kitchen. She didn’t quite know if they were friends on that kind of level or not.
“If you don’t want to tell me it’s okay,” Tanya added.
“It’s not if I want to tell you, it’s more of a TMI issue.” Nicole stared into her cup, letting her eyes unfocus as she watched the liquid swirl.
Tanya chuckled. “Honey, I play roller derby with a bunch of women who have no concept of too much information.”
“How did you get into playing roller derby, by the way? You don’t really seem the rough-and-tumble sort.”
“Well, Cole and I grew up in the country. I did a lot of sports and outdoorsy stuff. Roller derby is more physical than what I did before, but it’s just another sport. I just try to knock other women on their ass.” Tanya grinned and pulled the loose leg of her yoga pants up to display a large purple bruise. “This is from practice last week.”
“Shit.” Nicole winced just looking at it.
“Oh come on. You know you want to go skating with me.” Tanya’s grin grew.
“No thank you.” Nicole shook her head. She liked her teeth in place and besides, she bruised way too easily. The marks on the backs of her thighs were proof enough.
“Okay. Fine. So your TMI issue?” Tanya sipped her tea, pulling off the sweet-and-innocent act way too well.
“You don’t want to know.”
“Yes, I do, but if you don’t want to tell me I won’t ask again.”
Nicole bit her lip. She didn’t have anyone else to talk to about this, and she was dying to tell someone.
“Jake came over last night and we had sex in the kitchen,” she said in a rush as heat rose up her neck, clear to her hairline.
Tanya gasped and froze with her cup halfway to her mouth. “No way!”
Nicole nodded. “Yes way. He just showed up, didn’t say anything at all and we—well—you know.”
“Was it good?”
“Yeah.” Nicole placed her cup on the coffee table and buried her face in a decorative pillow. “I can’t believe I just told you that.”
Tanya merely laughed. “I get it. I used to be the same way, but between the derby girls and making Cole talk about sex, I’m learning how to use my adult words.”
“I know, but we barely know each other.” Nicole peeked over the pillow and, unless her eyes were mistaken, a tinge of pink stained Tanya’s cheeks.
“So? Okay, so you and Jake did it in the kitchen.”
“Yeah.”
“And?”
Nicole blew out a breath and cradled the pillow to her chest. “And then it was like old times. We didn’t speak. Not a single word the whole time. He drew me a bath just like he used to and then he got the call.” She waved her hand and Tanya nodded.
“I hate when his phone rings in the middle of sex, because Cole will get up and leave.” Tanya groaned.
“No.”
“Yes.”
“Jake at least finishes.”
“I wish Cole did.” She paused for a moment to sip her tea. “What does this mean for you guys?”
Nicole shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t know if it changes anything except we’re still attracted to each other and maybe we miss what we had. But I don’t know if it really makes a difference. I don’t want to be married to someone who will leave me when I need him, you know?”
“Maybe he’s trying?”
“Maybe he is.” She shrugged.
“Would you take him back if he did change?”
“I don’t know. Maybe? Yeah, I think if things changed I would. I would have said no a week ago, but—maybe I was wrong.” She blew out a breath. “We’ll see I guess. One bout of good sex doesn’t change things.”
“It can,” Tanya said, her tone serious.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. It changed things for us.”
Nicole didn’t discredit Tanya’s story but it was hers. Not Nicole’s.
“I think I’m going to head home. Thanks for letting me come over.” She tipped her cup back and finished off the tea.
“No problem. Any time, seriously.”
Nicole stood and gave Tanya a hug. She showed Nicole out of the house.
She made the drive home on autopilot, mentally kicking herself. Tanya was a sweet woman. Maybe a little too perfect on the outside, but the more Nicole got to know her, the more she liked her.
The little white house looked exactly the same as it had when she’d left for work that morning. She gathered her things and the flowers before making her way to the front door. The mail drop box was open and the edge of a package stuck out of the top. She juggled her things and plucked out not a package but a box of her favorite mint and dark chocolate candies.
The breeze stirred the roses, petals caressing her cheek as the seed of hope grew. Cradling her precious chocolates to her chest, she managed to unlock the door and step in. Though
the house was empty, it didn’t feel that way. Not anymore.
* * * * *
Jake stared at the dark windows, mentally kicking himself. Why did he have to go and fall asleep for so long? Now Nicole was in bed. The street was quiet, most of the houses dark save for a few night owls.
He clenched the steering wheel and briefly considered driving home—to the other house—but no. If this were a tactical mission, hitting when it was least expected would be optimal. He didn’t want to arrest Nicole, just her heart. Handcuffs weren’t a bad idea, though, but the soft ones were at the brick house and he wasn’t about to use real ones on her. That was a line for him, one he’d never been comfortable crossing. Nicole had understood. She got him. Most of the time.
Jake got out of the truck, shutting it quietly, and let himself into the house by the front door. She hadn’t even bothered with the deadbolt. When would she learn? He shoved the door shut and winced when it hit the jamb with a loud thud. He’d forgotten how well-greased the new hinges were.
Standing in the entry, he breathed a sigh of relief. It was as if he could feel Nicole’s presence, as if this were really home despite it being a couple of walls and a roof like the brick house, except she was here. Not there.
He didn’t creep through the house. The goal wasn’t to scare her. He strode toward the bedroom. A light clicked on as he approached.
“Jake?” Her voice had the low, raspy quality she got whenever she was tired or just woke.
“Hey.” He stepped through the door and leaned against the wall, taking in the sight of her.
Her hair tumbled and poofed around her shoulders, brushing the pillows as she lay propped up on her elbow, one hand rubbing her face. The blankets were pushed down around her waist, enough for him to see that she’d worn his gift to sleep.
Had she used the vibrator yet?
Simply looking at her, admiring the way the silk hugged her breasts, hinting at the bounty within, relaxed him.
“How’d it go? Tanya said you guys were out all night and day.”
“Good. We got the bad guys. You’ll never believe it but one of them was one of my old narc cases.” He pushed off the wall and walked slowly to the side of the bed. Would she let him touch her? Stroke her hair?
“Yeah? Who was it?” She moved her legs, making room for him on her side of the bed.
He breathed a sigh of relief and sat on the edge, twisting to face her. He rested one hand on her thigh, grounding himself in her presence. “This guy named David Alvarez.”
“Was he one of that group you were obsessed with?” Her eyes drooped but she’d get pissed if he didn’t answer her questions. It was always the same. She wanted facts, so he gave them to her.
“He was. Got him and another one off some tips. Looks like someone is out to get those guys. I’d hate to be them.” He chuckled. They’d had one of their worst fights when she accused him of being in more of a relationship with the criminals than her. After that he’d promised to leave narc. Shortly after that they’d got engaged.
“Did you arrest him?” She didn’t mean him as in Jake. The meaning was there. He could pretend otherwise but she wanted to know.
“No,” he replied. But this death didn’t rest on his hands. He hadn’t pulled the trigger.
Nicole nodded, accepting the ugly part of his job with a silent grace and unwavering faith he’d missed.
She knew what the alternative was. Nicole wasn’t a delicate flower, but death was one of the things about his job she tried to ignore. He reached for her hand and threaded their fingers together against the blanket, lapsing into silence as they studied each other. As much as he missed talking to her, it was the quiet acceptance he missed. Her support.
“How was your day?” he asked in lieu of anything better to say.
“Not the best.” She grimaced and glanced away.
“Why not?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay.”
Usually when she didn’t want to talk about something, she was trying to not be angry or avoid going off on a rant, but he got the feeling there was something else going on. But he wasn’t exactly in a place to press her for more information.
“Why’d you come by?” she asked, expression shuttered.
“To see you.”
“We’re separated.” Her tone didn’t seem certain enough for him.
“Not right now.”
“Jake…” Her face creased as if she were in pain.
He leaned down and kissed her brow, smoothing the lines away. He’d hurt her and he needed to make it right, however she needed.
Her nose bumped his chin and he felt her breath against his throat. She grabbed the front of his shirt and hauled him down. Not that he gave her a fight. There was no way he was going to resist her, not when she wanted him closer. Right where he wanted to be.
She sealed her lips over his and the tension he’d carried in his shoulders eased. Blood rushed to his cock. He’d had a small taste of what he’d once had regularly and he was starving for more.
Jake pushed the comforter away, revealing the rest of her long, lean body. He ran his hands over her silk-clad chest. Her nipples were hard points under the soft fabric, stabbing his palm. Back and forth he swiped his thumb over the hard nub. She thrust her chest forward, seeking more pressure, and dug her fingers into his hair. The desire hadn’t changed between them. He was sure of that now. He’d felt the way she clenched and held him last time. Now she reached for him, not the other way around.
He grabbed the hem of her nightie and pulled it up and off her body, leaving her in the matching panties and nothing else. Her hair curled around her breasts, wild and untamed, a lot like the way she looked at him.
Nicole relined back on the bed, one leg drawn up and her hands across her ribs, watching him. She bit her lower lip and color rose on her cheeks.
“Where’s the vibrator?” he asked. He could fuck her, quick and fast, but he wanted to remind her of every reason why she’d first fell for him. Involve her heart and body, reawakening their lust, then love would follow. It wasn’t dead. Not yet.
She released her lip and pointed behind him. Her suitcase was set up against the wall, something like a poor man’s dresser, it would seem. He flipped it open. The gold-skinned vibrator was out of the packaging, but when he clicked the button, it didn’t turn on.
“I didn’t use it yet.” Her husky voice stroked his ears.
He dug the batteries out from the bag lying on its side in the suitcase and dropped them into the toy. Now it worked.
Jake turned toward the bed, holding the vibrator in his fingers. The woman had said it had the widest range of strengths, from gentle to fuck yeah. He preferred fuck yeah.
Nicole watched him, her expression still clouded. That was okay. He’d strip away her reservations one orgasm at a time.
He climbed on the bed, straddling her knees, and touched the vibrating penis to her mound.
“Why didn’t you use it already?” It was blatant curiosity. Nicole of old would have already have used it six times and changed the batteries. Nicole of the last year wouldn’t have touched it. So where did the Nicole in the moment fit in?
She bit her lip harder and lay on her back as he slid the vibrator higher, drawing patterns on her stomach. Her nipples were hard, candy-colored peaks and her skin prickled with gooseflesh.
“Nicole, tell me,” Jake demanded.
“Because it was weird, okay?” Nicole squeezed her eyes shut.
“Because?” He rolled the length of the vibrator up over her breast and she squirmed.
“Because.”
“Because why?”
Her eyes snapped open and she glared at him. “Because I don’t know who to think about anymore.”
Jake had been the recipient of many a text while at work containing details of her fantasies, tormenting him with her desires, but she always finished those with the assurance that it was his cock she imagined inside her when she or
gasmed. He’d never thought to ask if she envisioned anyone else besides him.
“Was it always me before?” He switched breasts and bent to lick the sensitized nipple.
“Yes,” she hissed.
The honesty floored him. He was the only person she’d fantasized about? It shocked and flattered him. He lifted his head but her face was turned to the side, eyes squeezed shut.
“Hey.” He turned the vibrator off and covered her with his body. “There’s nothing wrong with that.” Whatever it took to get her rocks off was fine by him.
“But we’re separated,” she whispered.
“Not right now.” He pressed his face into the pillows until he found her lips with his. Was she aware her body relaxed at the simple touch? He didn’t think so.
If she needed his reassurance he’d give it to her. Everything he was belonged to her. Too bad it took her leaving him for being stupid to remind him these were still the ways of their life. With each kiss she relaxed more until she clung to his shoulders, pulling him closer. That was what he wanted. To remind her of all the reasons they were good together.
Her thigh wrapped around his waist and he settled into the cradle of her body. Her hips ground against him and he groaned. The memory of her body was fresh. He wanted it again. Now.
Jake sat up, blindly reaching for the vibrator.
Nicole stared up at him, her cheeks rosy and her eyes full of lust.
Beautiful.
Jake pushed her legs apart, keeling between them. He pulled the crotch of her panties to the side and rubbed his knuckles over her folds, wet with arousal. He spread her labia and turned the vibrator on. Her legs moved restlessly on the bed but she didn’t try to hide from him again.
The vibrator slid a few inches into her channel. He kept the setting low as he eased it in and out, in and out. The gold-hued skin became slick, gliding back and forth without resistance.
He clicked the power setting up and sucked in a breath.
“Feel good?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she said on an exhale.
“How good?”
“Really good.”
He increased the power and rhythm. She drew her knees up and her hips undulated. He shoved her down flat against the bed, keeping her immobile and fucking her with the vibrator. Her gaze latched on his, the all-consuming fire within the depths touching even his soul. Her cheeks grew pinker and her jaw worked soundlessly.
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