Unlocking Her Surgeon's Heart

by Fiona Lowe

  He saw her out and then turned to face Lily. ‘You have no idea how much I wanted to tell her she was rude and obnoxious.’

  Lily laughed. ‘We all want to do that. The important thing is that you didn’t.’ She raised her hand for a high-five. ‘You managed empathy under fire.’

  He grinned like a kid let loose in a fairground, ridiculously buzzed by her praise. ‘Empathy is damn hard work.’

  ‘It will get easier.’ She steepled her fingers, bouncing them gently off each other. ‘I do have one suggestion for you, though. Get into the habit of giving the medical history a brief scan before you go and get the patient. That way you’re not tempted to read it and ignore them when they first arrive.’

  ‘First I have to show empathy and now you’re asking me to take advice as well?’ he said with a grin. ‘It’s a whole new world.’

  ‘Sarcasm jar?’ she said lightly.

  ‘I’ll pay up on behalf of Claire Burke.’ He clicked on the computer, bringing up the next patient history. ‘Mr Biscoli, seventy-three and severe arthritis.’

  ‘He’s a honey and will probably arrive with produce from his garden for you.’

  ‘It says here he’s on a waiting list for a hip replacement.’ Noah frowned. ‘How long since the Turraburra hospital closed its operating theatre?’

  ‘Five years. It’s crazy really because the population has grown so much since then. Now we have a lot of retirees from Melbourne who come down here to live just as they’re at an age where they need a lot more health services. The birth centre had to fight hard to exist because we can’t push through double doors for an emergency Caesarean section, which is why the selection criteria are so strict.’

  Noah leaned over to the intercom. ‘Karen, on Monday can you do an audit on how many clinic patients are on surgical waiting lists, please?’

  ‘I can do that, Doctor,’ Karen said, sounding slightly taken aback.’

  ‘Thanks.’ He released the button and leaned back, watching Lily. He laughed at her expression. ‘I’ve just surprised you, haven’t I?’

  ‘You do that continually, Noah,’ she said wryly.

  ‘I’m taking that as a good thing.’

  ‘I never expected any less.’ She laughed and smile lines crinkled the edges of her eyes. She almost looked relaxed.

  God, she was gorgeous and he wanted time to explore this thing that burned so hotly between them. He checked his watch as an idea formed and firmed. ‘Emergencies excepted, I should be out of here by twelve-thirty. Let’s have lunch together. We can put together a picnic and you choose the place. Show me a bit of Turraburra I haven’t seen.’

  Somewhere quiet and secluded so we can finish what we started the other night.

  Based on previous invitations, he expected protracted negotiations with accompanying caveats and he quickly prepared his own strategic arguments.

  ‘Sounds great.’

  He blinked at her, not certain he’d heard correctly. ‘So you’re up for a picnic?’

  Her eyes danced. ‘Yes, and I know the perfect place …’

  He was already picturing a private stretch of beach or a patch of pristine rainforest in the surrounding hills, a picnic rug, a full-bodied red wine, gourmet cheeses from the local cheese factory, crunchy bread from the bakery and Lily. Delectable, sexy Lily.

  ‘The oval. Turraburra’s playing Yarram today in the footy finals.’

  Her words broke into his daydream like a machete, splintering his thoughts like kindling. ‘You’re joking, right?’

  ‘About football?’ She shook her head vehemently. ‘Never. Turraburra hasn’t won against Yarram in nine years but today’s the day.’

  And that’s when it hit him—why she’d so readily accepted his invitation. They weren’t going to be alone at all. They’d be picnicking with the entire town.

  Lily wrapped the black and yellow scarf around Noah’s neck. ‘There you go. Now you’re a Tigers fan.’

  He gave a good-natured grimace. ‘This wasn’t quite what I had in mind when I suggested a picnic. Tell me, are you truly a football fan or are we here because you don’t want to be alone with me?’ His face sobered to deadly serious. ‘If you don’t want to build on what’s already gone down between us, please just tell me now so I know the score and I’ll back off.’

  This is your absolute out. Her heart quivered at the thought. It should be an easy decision—just say no—but it wasn’t because nothing about Noah was as clear-cut as she’d previously thought.

  Why are you being so nice, Noah?

  Trent had been nice at the start—charming, generous and, unbeknownst to her at the time, calculatingly thoughtful. She already knew Noah was a far better man than Trent. He had a base honesty to him. A man who put his studies on hold to care for his dying mother wasn’t selfish or self-serving. A man who confessed to his guilt about finding it so much harder than he’d thought it would be and yet hadn’t walked away from it was a thousand times a better man than Trent.

  She tied a loose knot in the scarf for the sheer reason that it gave her an excuse to keep touching him. ‘I’m a die-hard footy fan to the point that I’ll probably embarrass you by yelling at the umpire. And …’ She hauled in a fortifying breath and risked looking into those soulful brown eyes that often saw far too much. ‘I like being alone with you. It’s just that I don’t trust myself.’

  He caught her hand. ‘We’re both adults, Lily. Having sex doesn’t mean a lifelong commitment. It can just be fun.’

  Fun. It had been fun and good times that had landed her in the worst place she’d ever been in her life and she wasn’t going back there. ‘That’s what scares me.’

  ‘Fun scares you?’ He frowned down at her and then pulled her into him, pressing a kiss to her hair.

  He smelled of sunshine and his heart beat rhythmically against her chest. She didn’t want to move.

  He stroked her back. ‘Let’s just enjoy the match, hey?’

  He could have done a million things—told her she was being silly, urged her to tell him why, cajoled her to leave the game and go and have the sort of fun they both wanted, but he didn’t do any of those things. She fought the tears that welled in her eyes at his understanding. ‘Sounds good to me.’

  He kept his arm slung casually over her shoulder as they watched the second quarter and she enjoyed its light touch and accompanying warmth. It felt delightfully normal and it had been for ever since she’d associated normal with a guy.

  The aroma of onions and sausages wafted on the air from the sausage sizzle. Farm and tradies’ utes were parked along the boundary of the oval and families sat in chairs while the older kids sat on the utes’ cabs for a bird’s-eye view. The younger ones scampered back and forth between their parents and the playground. She recognised the Ambrose girls playing on the slide and glanced around for Kylie, but she couldn’t see her.

  The red football arced back and forth across the length of the oval many times, with the Turraburra Tigers and the Yarram Demons fighting it out. When Matty Abrahams lost possession of the ball to a Demons player, who then lined up for a set shot at goal, Noah yelled, ‘Chewy on your boot!’

  She laughed and nudged him with her hip. ‘Look at you. Next you’ll be eating a pie.’

  He grinned down at her, his eyes dancing. ‘I never said I didn’t enjoy football. I may have grown up in New South Wales in the land of rugby league, but since coming to Melbourne I’ve adopted AFL. I get to games when I can.’

  The man was full of surprises. The Turraburra crowd gave a collective groan as the ball sailed clearly through the Demons’s goalposts, putting them two goals ahead.

  The whirr of Gramps’s gopher sounded behind her, followed by the parp-parp of his hooter. ‘Hi, Gramps, I thought you were watching from the stands with Muriel?’

  ‘I was and then Harry Dimetrious told me he’d seen you down here so I thought I’d come and say hello.’

  ‘Good to see you out and about, Bruce,’ Noah said, extending his hand.r />
  Bruce shook it. ‘You seem to be enjoying yourself, Doc,’ he said shrewdly. ‘I know you’ll be on your best behaviour with my granddaughter.’

  ‘Gramps!’ Lily wanted to die on the spot.

  Noah glanced between the two of them, his expression amused and slightly confused. He squeezed her hand. ‘I like to think I’m always on my best behaviour with women, Bruce.’

  Gramps assessed him with his rheumy but intelligent eyes. ‘Long may it stay that way, son.’

  Desperate to change the subject lest Noah ask her why, when she was almost thirty, her grandfather was treating him like they were teenagers, she saw a Demons player holding onto the ball for longer than the rules allowed. ‘Ball,’ she screamed loudly. ‘Open your eyes, Ump! Do your job!’

  Noah laughed. ‘I think she’s more than capable of standing up for herself, Bruce.’

  She stared doggedly at the game, not daring to look at her grandfather in case Noah caught the glance.

  By half-time the Turraburra Tigers trailed by fifteen points. ‘Cheer up,’ Noah said. ‘It’s not over until the final siren. I saw a sign in the clubrooms that the Country Women’s Association are serving Devonshire tea. Come on, my shout.’

  Still holding her hand, they walked towards the clubrooms and she felt the eyes of the town on her.

  ‘Hey, Doc.’ Rod Baker, her mechanic, pressed his hand against Noah’s shoulder. ‘You know Lily’s special, right?’

  Lily’s face glowed so hotly she could have fried eggs on her cheeks. Before she could say a word, Noah replied without a trace of sarcasm, ‘Without a doubt.’

  ‘Just as long as you know,’ Rod said, before removing his hand.

  When she’d suggested the footy to him, she’d never anticipated Noah’s public displays of affection. Granted, they’d done a lot more than handholding in his car and the other night she’d kissed him so hard she’d seen stars, but in a way it had been private, hidden from other people’s eyes. She’d never expected him to act as if they were dating.

  Not that she didn’t like it. She really did but it put her between a rock and a hard place. If she pulled her hand away it would make him question her, and if she didn’t then the town would.

  A movement caught her eye and she saw Kylie Ambrose being pulled to her feet by her husband. ‘Kylie, you okay?’ she called out automatically, a shiver running over her skin.

  ‘She’s fine,’ Shane said. ‘Aren’t you, love?’

  ‘Yes,’ Kylie said, brushing down her maternity jeans but not looking up. ‘I just tripped over my feet. You know, pregnancy klutz.’

  ‘I think I should just check you out,’ Lily said, ‘Just to make sure you and the baby are fine.’

  ‘For God’s sake, Lily,’ Shane said. ‘You were a panic merchant at school and you’re still one.’

  Before she could say another word, Noah stepped forward. ‘I’m Dr Noah Jackson, Kylie. Were you dizzy before you fell?’

  ‘Kylie’s healthy as a horse, aren’t you, love,’ Shane said, putting his arm around his wife.

  ‘She’s also pregnant,’ Noah said firmly. ‘Have a seat on the bench, Kylie, and I’ll check your blood pressure.’

  Lily expected Kylie to object but she sat and started pulling up her sleeve, only to flinch, stop and tug it back down before pushing up the other sleeve.

  Was she hiding something? Not for the first time, Lily wondered if she should tell Kylie a little something about her own past. ‘Did you hurt your arm, Kylie?’

  ‘No. It’s just this one’s closer to the doc.’

  And it was. Two minutes later Noah declared Kylie’s blood pressure to be normal, Shane teased his wife about having two left feet, and Lily felt foolish for allowing her dislike of Shane to colour her judgement. She really must stop automatically looking for the bad in men. Good guys were out there—Noah and her grandfather were perfect examples of that—and although Shane wasn’t her type of guy, it didn’t make him a bastard.

  ‘We still have time for those scones,’ Noah said, putting his hand gently under her elbow and propelling her into the clubrooms.

  Linda Sampson served them with a wide smile. ‘Lily, it’s lovely to see you out and about.’

  ‘I’m always out and about, Linda,’ she said, almost snatching the teapot out of the woman’s hands.

  ‘You know what I mean, dear,’ Linda continued, undeterred by Lily’s snappish reply. ‘Treat her nice, Dr Jackson.’

  Lily busied herself with pouring tea and putting jam and cream on the hot scones. When she finally looked up, Noah’s gaze was fixed on her.

  ‘The town’s very protective of you.’

  ‘Not really. Have a scone.’ She pushed the plate towards him.

  ‘At first I thought all these warnings and instructions were about me. That I’d ruffled a few feathers.’

  ‘I’m sure that’s it,’ she said desperately. ‘But word will get around fast that you’ve improved out of sight. Claire Burke’s a huge gossip and after this morning she’ll be singing your praises.’

  He didn’t look convinced. ‘The thing is, the more I think about it, every piece of advice I’ve been given is about you.’ He leaned forward. ‘Why is the town protecting you?’

  ‘They’re not.’ She gulped her tea.

  ‘Yeah, they are, and I can’t afford any negative reports about me getting back to the Melbourne Victoria.’

  Something inside her hurt. ‘I guess we should stop whatever this is, then.’

  His eyes darkened with a mix of emotions. ‘That’s not what I’m suggesting at all.’

  She stood up, desperate to leave the claustrophobic clubrooms, leave the game, and leave the eyes of the town. ‘Let’s get out of here.’

  He grabbed a scone and followed her outside as she half walked, half ran, able to outrun the eyes of the town but not the demons of her past.

  ‘Where are we going?’ Noah finally asked as they passed through the gates of the recreation reserve.

  ‘Your place.’

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  THE MOMENT NOAH closed his front door Lily’s body slammed into his, her hand angling his head, and then she was kissing him. Yes! His body high-fived and he was instantly hard. This was it—what he’d been dreaming about for days was finally going to happen. He was about to have sex again with Lily. He was so ready that he risked coming too soon.

  Her lips and tongue roamed his, stealing all conscious thought. Nothing existed except her touch, her scent and her taste. Her wondrous, glorious, intoxicating taste that branded itself onto every part of his mouth. He went up in flames in a way he’d never done before.

  She kicked off her shoes and then pulled his T-shirt over his head, sighing as she pressed her hands to his chest. ‘I’ve been wanting to do that for hours.’

  He pulled her T over her head and smiled at the filmy lace bra that hid nothing. ‘You’re gorgeous.’

  She seemed to almost flinch and then she dropped her head and kissed his chest before licking his hard and erect nipples. For a second he lost his vision.

  ‘Let’s go have some fun,’ she said, glancing around. Her gaze landed on the kitchen bench.

  ‘Oh, yeah.’ As he moved towards the kitchen his brain suddenly fired back into action. Fun scares me.

  His body groaned. Don’t do this to me. Now is not the time to start thinking and acting like a girl.

  But try as he might, he couldn’t banish Lily’s words from his head. Fun scares me.

  He thought about the time in the car when she’d let go of all restraint and how she was doing it again with such intensity, as if she was trying to forget something.

  It was a mistake.

  That’s what she’d said last time and for some unfathomable reason he didn’t want to have sex and then watch her run again.

  Why? Usually that’s exactly what you want—wish for even. But today it felt wrong. He didn’t want to have Lily close up on him again and he knew as intimately as he knew himself that he sure as he
ll didn’t want to be considered a mistake.

  He held her gently at arm’s length. ‘I want so badly to have sex with you right now that it hurts.’

  She grinned, her eyes wild. ‘I’m glad.’

  He stared down into her bluer-than-blue eyes and regret hammered him so hard it hurt to breathe. ‘But I’m not having sex with you until you tell me what’s going on.’

  Panic spread through Lily’s veins, pumping anxiety into every cell. She opened her mouth to say, ‘Nothing is going on,’ but immediately closed it. As much as she didn’t want to tell him anything, he didn’t deserve lies. Her brain whirred, trying to find a way to give him enough to satisfy him without opening the floodgates to a past she refused to allow back into her life.

  She scooped up their shirts from the floor and threw his at him. ‘Put that on so you don’t distract me,’ she said, trying to joke. It came out sad.

  He silently obliged and by the time she’d pulled her T over her head he too was fully dressed. She’d hit the point of no return. Say it fast and it won’t hurt so much. ‘The town’s protecting me because I was married.’

  ‘You were married?’ His echoing tone was a combination of horror and surprise.

  ‘I was.’ The memory of those pain-filled twenty-four months dragged across her skin like a blunt blade.

  ‘And you’re a widow?’

  I wish. Oh, how I wish. She was tempted to say yes, but Turraburra knew that wasn’t true. Although only her grandfather knew the full story about her marriage, everyone else knew she’d come home a faded version of her former self and without a husband. She was sure they’d speculated and talked about it amongst themselves, but instead of asking her what had happened, they’d circled her in kindness. ‘No. I’m divorced.’

  He looked seriously uncomfortable. ‘Sorry.’

  I’m not. She shrugged. ‘It is what it is.’

  ‘Am I the first guy since …?’

  At least she could give him the absolute truth to one question. ‘Virtually. There was one drunken episode the day my divorce came through but nothing since.’ She wrung her hands. ‘I’m sorry about my erratic behaviour,’ she said, hoping the topic was almost done and dusted because she wasn’t prepared to tell him any more. ‘My libido’s been dormant for so long and you’ve exploded it out of the blocks. I guess it scared me and I’m really sorry for saying you were a mistake. You’re not at all, but you don’t need to panic. I’m not looking for anything serious. We can enjoy whatever this is for what it is.’ Please.