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The Universe Between Us

Page 7

by Jane C. Esther


  Some time later, she awoke to the smell of chili simmering on the stove. She opened her eyes and lifted her head slightly, then slowly sat up. Stifling a yawn, she shrugged off the blanket that had been placed over her as she slept, presumably by Ana, who stood in the kitchen over the stove. She watched her stir the pot, taste its contents, and then add more spices. Ana was taking care of her. This, the simplest of facts, seen through a mind empty from sleep, brought a new level of clarity to her feelings. Jolie was falling for her, no matter how much she wanted to convince herself otherwise.

  She stood unsteadily and walked over to the kitchen island, leaning on it. Ana turned at the noise and smiled brilliantly.

  “You had a nice long nap.” Ana appraised her with amusement. “I hope you’re hungry. I’m always hungry after I wake up.”

  Jolie nodded and rubbed her eyes. “Mmm hmm. Smells wonderful.” She walked to where Ana stood stirring the pot, and looked inside. Instinctively, she steadied herself by placing her hand on the small of Ana’s back. She heard her draw a quick breath, and saw her hesitate ever so slightly. Jolie remembered her intention to stop flirting with Ana, but it was so hard to do. Her heart swelled and she wanted nothing more than to move her arm all the way around, gathering Ana in a warm embrace.

  Ana stared straight ahead. “I don’t know if you have plans this evening, but—”

  “Sure.” Jolie said sleepily, then realized she had cut Ana off. “Sorry. What do you want to do?”

  “Do you want to go on a walk? I have something to show you.”

  “Yeah.” She nodded. “Sounds good.” Not thinking clearly, she drew her arm around Ana’s waist and squeezed. Ana gripped the spoon tightly and steadied herself on the edge of the stove.

  “I’m going to go sit down now.”

  “Okay,” Ana said, breathlessly.

  Jolie yawned and retreated to the couch, where she watched Ana out of the corner of her eye. She seemed self-conscious, aware that Jolie was watching, but unwilling to acknowledge it. Jolie picked up the paperback and tried to read a few lines, but she couldn’t concentrate. The longer she watched Ana, the more she realized how deep she really was. To admit it to herself was sobering. She wanted more than anything to go back to the stove and hug Ana again, to memorize the way their bodies fit together. Maybe if Ana knew how she really felt, she’d rethink what she said the other night, but maybe not. If she went too far, Ana might ask her to leave, and she’d begun to love this place.

  There was the small issue of no possible future together, even if they did hook up. Jolie got the impression that she was there to learn how to take care of the property as Ana slowly disappeared for longer and longer periods of time, until she was gone for good. Jolie realized she hadn’t asked for any specific information about what Ana was doing, or when, and she made a mental note to find out. In a strange way, the impermanence of their situation gave her license to be bolder in acknowledging her feelings. Ana didn’t want to date her roommate? Technically, they wouldn’t be roommates for much longer.

  Ana walked over and set a bowl of chili in front of her, breaking her train of thought. She felt a warm nervousness as the simple gesture reminded her why Ana had been so present in her thoughts lately.

  “Thanks,” Jolie said. “This looks delicious. You are definitely outdoing yourself in the cooking department.” The steam rose from the surface, creating undulating wisps that danced upward and then disappeared. “I’d give it a ten for presentation.”

  “Presentation?” Ana eyed her. “It’s a bowl of chili.”

  “Yeah, you did a good job putting it in the bowl. Whatever. I’m just trying to talk you up.”

  “Okay. Well, thanks. I appreciate it,” Ana said.

  Jolie took a bite. “This is restaurant quality. I’d give it at least a ten and a half overall.”

  “Good. I spent an entire half hour slaving away in the kitchen and following an actual recipe.”

  Jolie chuckled and shook her head. They continued to eat in silence.

  “You must have been tired. You didn’t even move when I put a blanket over you,” Ana said, after a while.

  Jolie turned to her. “It was sweet of you to do that.” She turned back to her bowl, and felt Ana’s gaze linger for a moment longer.

  When they finished eating, Ana insisted on cleaning up. Jolie watched her put the dishes into the dishwasher. All she wanted to do was to study her from a distance, watch the way she shifted from one foot to the other as she moved from the stove to the sink, but she knew it was creepy to stare. She settled for glancing occasionally in the general direction of the kitchen, reveling in the knowledge that her infatuation wasn’t just one-sided. Not if the way Ana kept glancing back at her was any indication.

  “Ready to head out? Better get a coat,” Ana said as she shrugged a jacket on.

  “Yeah.” Jolie yawned. “Let’s go.”

  The wind had picked up and easily cut through the fleece that Jolie wore. She hugged herself tightly as they walked side by side down to the river in silence. Ana was staring straight ahead. “You’re quiet. What’s wrong?” Jolie asked.

  Ana gave her a sidelong glance. “I’m sorry about what I said the other night.”

  “Hey, it’s totally okay. I shouldn’t have been so forward.” Jolie wanted to get it all out in the open. Maybe making her intentions a verbal proclamation would get her to follow them, since just thinking she shouldn’t flirt clearly didn’t do the trick. “I’m completely prepared to never flirt with you again if it makes you uncomfortable. I didn’t even mean to do it in the first place. It just kind of happened and then I got carried away. And I should’ve thought of what you would think of me, being so much younger, and you leaving, and it’s ridiculous anyway because you’re so cool and I’d rather just be your roommate, you know?”

  Ana stopped walking, and Jolie had to backtrack a couple of steps. “Are you done?”

  Jolie shoved her hands in her jacket pockets and shrugged. “Do you forgive me yet?”

  Ana looked at her in a way that made Jolie’s mouth go dry and her head spin.

  “Ana,” she whispered.

  As Ana stepped toward her with eyes full of desire and fear, Jolie gulped. When Ana pressed her lips to hers, Jolie didn’t care anymore about what she thought was going to happen, and what was somehow taking place. All she cared about was Ana’s warm body pulling her in, her soft mouth moving over hers in a delicious motion that left her body aching for more. She cupped her hands around Ana’s neck and pulled her closer, until she felt the swell of Ana’s breasts and the heat of her stomach. Ana drew in a breath and kissed her harder. Her heart pounded in her ribcage, and her ears were on fire. She couldn’t believe it, Ana’s body pressed against hers, her tongue against her lips, then suddenly against her neck as Ana pressed her lips there. Her hands moved to Ana’s shoulders, and she drew her fingertips down the well defined muscles of her biceps. They were every bit as wonderful as she’d imagined. She fit nicely in between Ana’s arms, her head in the crook of Ana’s neck. It was over too soon as Ana pulled away, resting her forehead against Jolie’s. She could feel Ana’s pulse, and she looked up, smiling.

  “That was unexpected.”

  “I couldn’t help it,” Ana said between labored breaths. “You’re kind of irresistible.” Jolie’s cheeks flushed as she watched Ana’s chest rise and fall rapidly.

  Jolie reached out and tucked a strand of Ana’s hair behind her ears. In the evening light, Ana was radiant, glowing with a blush that colored her cheeks and lips. Suddenly, she didn’t care if they made it to wherever Ana was taking them, or anywhere at all. She wrapped her hands around Ana’s waist and pulled her in again for another searing kiss. Ana moaned and she opened her mouth wider to meet her tongue. With what seemed like a lot of effort, Ana put her hand on Jolie’s chest to stop her.

  “It’s going to get dark soon,” Ana said breathlessly.

  “You still want to go?” Jolie was perplexed. She wanted nothin
g more to do with the outdoors unless it involved what they’d just been doing.

  “I do, is that okay? I think you’ll really like what I’m going to show you.” She smiled and squeezed Jolie’s hands. “We can do more of that later, if you want to.”

  She groaned. “If I have to wait to do that again, it better be for something really goddamned good.”

  “I promise it is.” Ana led them down the hill to the river, past a tree where Jolie had spent some time sketching in her notebook. She blushed as she thought about the drawing she’d been working on, and slipped her hand into Ana’s.

  “Where are we going, anyway? I thought the river was the end of the property,” she said.

  “It’s about halfway. There’s a lot more that you have to see.”

  “Wow. That’s half? That’s almost as big as my family’s farm. How did you end up here? Didn’t you say you lived here for years? Wouldn’t you have been a teenager?”

  Ana laughed. “You’re so talkative tonight.”

  Jolie stopped her and kissed her cheek. “I wouldn’t be so talkative if I were doing something else with my mouth,” she said.

  Ana shivered, suppressing a smile, and continued on. “I got the land when I was twelve, and we built the house after that. I’ve lived here since I was about thirteen. Yes, by myself.” Jolie must have had a horrified expression on her face because Ana turned defensive. “It’s not as weird as it seems, I promise. I had help, especially when I was younger, but I did build almost everything on the property at one time or another.” They continued walking along the river.

  “That’s amazing,” Jolie said. “I can’t imagine being alone at thirteen. Aren’t you supposed to be running off with your friends and getting detention for skipping school?”

  “I didn’t have what you would call a normal childhood.”

  Jolie looked at her expectantly for a moment, waiting for more information. When she didn’t receive any, she said, “I had a weird childhood too. Worked all the time. But I didn’t get to live by myself in the middle of nowhere. I had to deal with the small town people I grew up with. Everything seems a lot more magnified when there are so few people around, and so little going on. I can’t believe you got to skip that part.”

  “There are a lot of things you probably wouldn’t believe if I told you.” Ana looked away. They walked for a little while longer until they reached a tree that had fallen across the water.

  Jolie gulped. “Oh my God. No.”

  “Oh, come on. I walked across it the other day. You’re not scared, are you? You look a little pale.” The corners of Ana’s mouth curled slightly into a teasing grin.

  “I’m not doing that. You’re going to have to convince me,” Jolie said, facing Ana and putting her arms around her waist.

  Ana kissed her lightly on the lips. “Convinced?”

  “You’re going to have to do better than that. Lead me across. And then give me something even better on the other side.” She grasped Ana’s hand a little too tightly.

  “I can’t imagine what I can give you over there that I can’t give you over here,” Ana said, squeezing Jolie’s hand.

  “I’m sure you can think of something.” Jolie drew Ana close and kissed her neck, then groaned. “All right, let’s do this.”

  Ana laughed. “It’s not deep, I promise. If you fall, which you won’t, you probably won’t die.”

  Jolie stood rooted in place and eyed Ana warily as she jumped up on the log and started across without so much as a wobble. She climbed on and advanced cautiously, led by Ana, until they were in the middle of the river. Water rushed beneath them, and Jolie had a moment of panic.

  “I don’t think I like this,” she said, her eyes darting around for an escape.

  “Hey, come on,” Ana coaxed. “Look at me. Think about what you get when we cross to the other side.”

  Ana’s eyes sparkled and her smile soothed Jolie’s nerves like a balm.

  “This better be good,” she muttered, following Ana to the other side.

  Ana hopped down to help Jolie off. “See? Easy.”

  “Whatever.” Jolie scoffed. “Where’s my prize?”

  Ana smiled devilishly and closed the distance between them, her hand cradling Jolie’s neck. Jolie saw the desire in her eyes, and her breath hitched just as Ana met her lips. Jolie backed into the end of the log, pulling Ana in, her hands sliding up Ana’s back under her shirt. Ana moaned and pulled away.

  “That’s it?” Jolie struggled to control her emotions and tried to pretend she wasn’t wet as hell.

  “Um, yeah, Miss Greedy. Have some patience.” Ana’s squeezed Jolie’s butt and smiled.

  “You’re pretty hot. It’s hard to have patience,” Jolie said, matching Ana’s grin with her own. “Huh. Do I actually get to say that stuff now?”

  “After that impassioned speech you gave up there, I wasn’t sure you ever would again. But yeah, I’m glad you get to say that stuff now.” Ana pushed a stray hair behind Jolie’s ear. “So let’s make this a relatively quick visit and then get out of here so you can tell me more things. Take a look around.”

  Jolie scanned the landscape behind them. It looked as though someone had planted a continuous series of hedges and pruned them so that they had regular peaks and falls. Then, she caught a glimpse of red at the edge. As she walked toward it, she saw more, peeking through the waves of vine.

  “Oh my God, Ana. This whole thing—you have a giant apple orchard, too?” Jolie couldn’t believe her eyes. Most of it was choked out by the bittersweet, but it was there, underneath, waiting for someone to rescue the old trees. She wanted to cry, overwhelmed by more compounding emotions than she was used to handling at one time. She’d seen the apples in the kitchen, but hadn’t thought about where they came from.

  “We both have a giant orchard. I’m not the only one living here now.” Ana walked toward a nearby tree and ran her fingers along an exposed branch. “This is good for all year, plus some. Pies, applesauce, fresh out of cold storage. I usually give the extras away, and there’s so much more left on the trees, even after all that.”

  Jolie could barely contain her excitement. She took a deep breath to clear the lump from her throat. If only her family’s farmland was more like this, her father would be happy again. He got choked up when they harvested enough to break even. “Let’s walk to the end.” Jolie practically dragged Ana to the dirt path that ran down the center, cutting the orchard neatly in two.

  “I tried to clear away the vines, once upon a time, but it’s an impossible task for one person.” The sun hung low in the sky before them, brilliantly orange and casting a warm glaze over the land as they walked to the end.

  Jolie squeezed Ana’s hand. It was all she could do to process their newness. Every time she thought about the fact that their skin was touching, her heart swelled with joy. Ana intertwined their fingers and ran her thumb up and down the back of Jolie’s hand. If anybody had ever touched her like that before, she didn’t remember. Her heart pounded in her throat, no longer from uncertainty, but from anticipation of everything that was now possible. She looked out into the orchard. She could see some patches where the bittersweet had been cleared away, and the trees were producing magnificently. A deep contentedness swept through her and a hint of pride rose in her chest. She felt regal walking with Ana, surveying their kingdom side by side.

  Too quickly, they reached the end of the orchard, abutted by a thick oak and maple forest and the ruin of a house. The sun was halfway below the horizon, close to setting completely. The sunset brought a deep chill, the wind blowing Jolie’s loose hair against her cheek and eliciting a shiver.

  “We should head back. I don’t want you to have to cross the river in the dark,” Ana said.

  “So thoughtful.” Jolie shouldered Ana. They laughed and Jolie sighed contentedly.

  They continued to the river in silence, picking a few apples along the way. Ana offered to help her across again, but she refused.

 
“Teach a woman to fish,” Jolie said. The light was almost gone as they headed up the hill. Ambling toward the house, Jolie told Ana about her productive day in the art studio.

  “What do you do there all day?” Ana asked. “I don’t think I’ve ever made a piece of art.”

  “I’m making some pieces for the student show in January. Hoping to have three sculptures and a bunch of sketches done by then. I actually have you to thank,” she said carefully. For more reasons than one, she thought, remembering the nudes she’d been working on earlier in the week.

  “Oh?”

  “You may have given me some inspiration,” Jolie said.

  Ana smiled. “Happy to help, I think. What are the sculptures?”

  “Well, right now I’m working on a sculpture that’s about the size of your sink. On one side, there are tiny rusted metal scraps with nails poking out. The other side is just waves.”

  Ana thought for a moment. “That sounds neat. I’d like to see it sometime. What does it represent?”

  Jolie shrugged. “It’s sort of an evolving explanation.” It had been a piece about her unrequited feelings for Ana, but now, everything had changed, hadn’t it? She wasn’t sure which side of the sculpture she’d eventually land on. “I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”

  Just then, Ana’s bracelet buzzed three times. Jolie watched as Ana’s expression steeled.

  “I’m sorry, I have to take this,” she said. “Hopefully, it won’t take long. I’ll find you when I’m done, okay?”

  Jolie’s heart sunk. She knew how long Ana’s calls usually lasted, and if this was anything like them, she wouldn’t be seeing Ana for the rest of the evening.

  Trying not to sound too dejected, Jolie said, “No problem. I’ll get ready for bed and probably be in my room.” She gave Ana a soft, lingering kiss on the lips, one that would surely make her wish she was with Jolie instead. As she stepped inside, she caught a glimpse of Ana staring after her with a look of utter desire.

 

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