A chance at love (The Winter Sisters Box Set) : Special Edition Regency Romance

by Regina Darcy

  “I am aware that you must have heard of my rakish behaviour from a good many sources.” He held his gaze locked to hers until Miss Winters winced and looked away.

  “I am sorry for the discomfort it brings you, Miss Winters, although I will not apologise or deny who I have been.”

  A tense silence stretched between both of them.

  “You need not do so with me,” Miss Winters replied defiantly, her chin raised a notch.

  “If you must know, I have been approached by a good many members of the ton since we announced our engagement.” She shrugged. “Some have come with advice; others have come to question whether or not I am truly in my right mind to agree to an engagement with such a gentleman as you.” This was spoken without malice although there was a flicker of something akin to pain in her eyes. “Tell me the truth, my Lord.” Miss Winters turned in her seat so that she was facing him and could, therefore, see him better. “Tell me if you wish to be free of this engagement.”

  Charles frowned, his heart beating a trifle more quickly as he looked into her eyes and saw the depth of emotion within them. She was, he realised, being perfectly serious, in the hope that he would be more than honest with her.

  His mouth went dry as he tried to find what he wished to say, realising that he was reacting to the scent of her, which seemed to permeate the box. He swallowed hard.

  His eyes wanted to linger on her beauty.

  His hands wanted to reach out and capture her hands in his, to allow his fingers to brush through the soft tendrils of her hair, but his heart told him that he had to speak with all seriousness and with the honesty Miss Winters so clearly sought.

  Clearing his throat, Charles considered the question and fought against the various answers that clamoured all together in his mind. One beat the other away, whilst a third tried to climb to the top and claim itself triumphant.

  Try as he might, Charles could not pull out one simple answer.

  “It is difficult for me to say, Miss Winters,” he told her eventually, seeing a flicker of light begin to leave her eyes. “Our engagement did not come about in the best fashion, as you well know, but now that it is done and we are to be wed, I accept this outcome.”

  “Oh.” Miss Winters looked away from him, turning back around in her chair so that she faced the stage.

  “I quite understand now, Lord Penderstone. I thank you.”

  No, you do not understand, Charles wanted to say. She did not know what he meant for in a strange way, neither did he. Frustrated, he let out a long breath, his eyes still roving over Miss Winters form as she sat, stiff and straight, in her chair.

  On impulse, Charles reached across and grasped her gloved hand, feeling her jerk in surprise. Her eyes flared as she looked down at where he now held her hand before looking back up into his face.

  “I am trying to devise a future with you, Miss Winters,” Charles stated, softly, feeling the swell of urgency fill his chest as though he had very little time with which he might convince her.

  “This has all come as something of a shock, as I am certain it has done for you, and I am struggling to contend with the reality of our situation. However,” he continued, earnestly. “Despite the reputation that has clung to me for so long, you will find that I am not a gentleman who is unfaithful to the wife he has committed to.”

  Miss Winters’ eyes dipped low.

  “You may not believe it,” Charles continued, knowing that Miss Winters had every right to doubt him. “But that is the intention of my heart. In fact, it has always been so. I have long determined that when I married, I would do so with the intention that I should remain entirely faithful to my wife.”

  “And does that still stand even though you have been forced into a betrothal that you did not wish for?” Miss Winters asked, as she settled her bright ocean blue eyes upon him. Charles felt like he was hit by a freight train. It was the first time he had really looked at the young lady. The expression in her eyes promised all that a man could ever want and more. It promised a wife, a companion and a mistress all rolled into one. Tinged by her obvious innocence it was a heady mix. Did she realise exactly how much she was revealing? She made his decision very easy to share.

  “It does, Miss Winters,” he told her. She nodded and then, slowly, began to smile. “I am a man of my word, hopefully you will discover that this is the case in due course.”

  Miss Winters let out a long breath.

  “Lady Hedley will not be of concern in our marriage,” Charles continued, his face expressionless. “I suspect that you are concerned over her presence, Miss Winters, but I assure you that she is nothing more than an acquaintance and will never be more than that.”

  “Then I suppose I must trust that you tell the truth, Lord Penderstone,” Miss Winters replied, as the sound of approaching footsteps alerted them both that the Duchess of Sotheby was to join them in a moment or so. “I thank you for speaking to me so earnestly.”

  “You are most welcome.” Charles let go of her hand and rose to his feet, ready to greet the Duchess, only to find that a strange longing came from within him as he did so. It was as though something within him wanted to return to Miss Winters, wanted to take her hand again so that her soft skin rested against his. It was a foolish thought and one that Charles immediately tried to dismiss.

  Yes, he cared for Miss Winters’ wellbeing and did not want her to be despondent – for what could be worse for a gentleman than a morose wife? But he did not have any strong affection for her, surely?

  She was beautiful and he appreciated that, but there could not be any feelings of fondness or the like within his heart. That would only complicate matters a good deal and Charles did not want to allow himself to feel anything of the sort.

  He had never done before now so why would his heart yearn for the one lady he was to marry? It did not make any sense and so, with a dogged determination, Charles set such feelings aside and instead focused on greeting the Duchess and thereafter, attempted to enjoy a performance for what would be the first time in his life.

  SEVEN

  “You appear sorrowful, Ann.”

  Ann looked up from her needlework to see Theodora coming towards her, a small concerned smile on her face. She flushed, aware that she had not even noticed her sister entering the room.

  “I do not think you have sewn even a single stitch since I have come in to join you,” Theodora continued, making Ann realise that Theodora had been present for some time.

  “What is it that troubles you?”

  She perched on the edge of a chair and looked expectantly at her sister.

  “I….” Ann trailed off, rubbing at her forehead with the back of her hand and then shaking her head. “I cannot say precisely, Theodora.”

  “Only that it is to do with the Marquess,” Theodora suggested, with a small smile. “Yes, I am aware that you have been very distracted by him of late, Ann. That is to be expected and pray do not think that I chide you for it.”

  “I thank you for that,” she told her sister, suddenly feeling rather uncomfortable about discussing the Marquess in such a fashion but feeling the urge to relieve herself of the burden that tugged at her heart.

  “The Marquess has been on my mind a good deal of late and I find myself struggling to know what I think and feel any longer.”

  Theodora looked even more concerned.

  “I thought you believed yourself to be deeply in love with him,” she said, frowning slightly. “Ever since that day that he saved Beatrice?”

  Ann let out a long breath, feeling a little foolish as she tried to explain.

  “My longing and my desire have not changed,” she admitted. “The Marquess and I are destined for each other.”

  She bit her lower lip. “But I feel a good deal of guilt over what has occurred and, with it, comes the fear that the Marquess will never reciprocate the fondness and affection that I have within my heart for him.”

  Ann swallowed the ache that had formed in her throat. She w
as struggling to find the words to express how she felt and yet she was overcome by the desperate urge to tell Theodora everything in the hope that it might lighten her burden somewhat.

  “What if he does not come to care for me, Theodora?”

  Her sister held her gaze steadily for some moments, whilst fiddling with a loose lock that had crept out of her braided hair in a most indelicate fashion.

  Ann felt her heart grow tormented, wanting to beg Theodora to speak aloud so that she might have an answer to her questions.

  “I think, Ann,” Theodora said slowly, looking at her with pitying eyes, “That you must continue to hope and pray that such a thing will occur. However, if it does not, then what shall you do?” She shrugged. “You shall have to continue to find a way to live with contentment. Contentment that does not rely on what the Marquess feels for you. You will be his wife, and, hopefully his confidante, his friend. That may be all you can attain but it should be enough.”

  “And what if it is not?” Ann whispered, tears suddenly choking her. “What if what I long for can never be attained but the longing remains within me regardless, tearing at me until I can no longer cope with all that I feel?”

  Theodora paused, looking away from Ann for a moment or two. “Tell me, Ann,” she said, slowly, looking back at her sister. “Do you have any evidence that the Marquess has had a change of heart thus far? I know that it has only been a fortnight since you became engaged but in that time, has he warmed to you? Has he spoken to you of his own heart? Is there a growing intimacy between you?”

  Ann hesitated, letting her mind rove over all that had occurred in the last fortnight. The Marquess had, initially, clearly been very out of sorts that an engagement was to take place and had rebelled against the idea whilst coming to grips with the fact that he had very little choice open to him other than to accept it. He had been tight-lipped and angry, ignoring her as much as he could and doing the very minimum that was required of him.

  But now? Her mind went back to the night at the theatre some three night ago now. The presence of Lady Hedley had upset her, although she had not wanted to show it, upon reflection, Ann realised that the Marquess had done all he could to reassure her that there was nothing she need worry about when it came to Lady Hedley. Whether she believed and trusted him was another matter, although Ann knew she desperately wanted to. She bit her lower lip.

  She wanted to believe that he would remain faithful to her as his wife and not seek out a mistress or enjoy the company of others, as he had said, but the other part of her knew that it would be vastly difficult to give up all that he had enjoyed for so long.

  But yet, there had been a gentleness to his tone, had there not? It had softened and touched her heart, practically seeing the honesty in his eyes. When he had touched her hand, her heart had leapt in her chest and she had found herself eager for his touch to remain upon hers. The amount that she felt in her heart for the Marquess was both a burden and a delight, for to think herself in love with him still, to feel the constant hope that he might return her affections one day weighed heavily upon her soul. It would crush her if her hopes remained unfulfilled, she was certain of it but yet there was nothing for it.

  “Ann?”

  Starting slightly in surprise, Ann looked to see Theodora smiling gently at her.

  “Yes,” Ann murmured, aware that her sister had been waiting for her to respond to her question. “Yes, I believe that the Marquess has changed somewhat over these last two weeks.”

  “Then allow yourself to hope,” Theodora told her. “Allow yourself to believe that all that you long for may one day come to you. I think the Marquess is capable of great change, Ann. It is just a matter of whether or not he allows himself to be changed by the circumstances that surround him.”

  

  These words filled Ann’s mind as, some time later, she sat on her horse with Theodora riding next to her. The outing was Theodora’s attempt to create a distraction.

  Theodora was excellent company, knowing when to speak and when to remain silent and, at this present time, she was sitting quietly and allowing Ann the empty silence she needed to think clearly.

  Turning their horses into Hyde Park, Ann realised that the fashionable hour had already begun. Their speed slowed even further, making the horses walk at their slowest pace as they began to make their way around the park, following all the other carriages that went before.

  “Oh, there is Lady Stubbs,” Theodora murmured, waving her hand for a moment and smiling in her friend’s direction. “Goodness, the park is busy this afternoon, is it not?”

  “It is indeed,” Ann replied, with a small smile as she looked across the assembled crowd, who were all sitting or standing in large groups. Each person was either eager to be seen or to see those who were walking about within the park. After all that was the only reason that the fashionable hour existed. A destination and location to feed the lives of those who lived upon gossip and rumour.

  “I think a short ride will do,” Ann suggested as Theodora nodded her agreement.

  “I do not find myself eager to greet a good many people nor have questions thrown at me about Lord Penderstone and my impending marriage,” Ann continued.

  She shook her head, recalling just how rude some of the ladies had been in seeking her out solely to question her about her relationship with the Marquess.

  “I quite agree,” Theodora replied, laughing. “Come now, there is a path under these trees that we might take and it does look to be a good deal quieter.”

  Relieved that she would not be stared at nor sought out by anyone, Ann turned her horse in the direction Theodora pointed and quickened the horse’s pace just a little. A sense of relief descended upon her as she moved away from the large gathering, feeling the eyes of watchful ladies and gentlemen drop from her.

  “I am glad to be gone from them,” she said, seeing Theodora’s answering smile. “You must be very used to garnering a good deal of attention by now, however?”

  Theodora shook her head and let out a long sigh.

  “I still find it difficult to be so revered,” she told Ann, who listened with interest. “Sotheby’s position as a duke means that his very presence in a room can bring everyone to silence for a few moments. It can be difficult to find genuine friendships with others when they think so highly of him or seek his favour.”

  “And of you,” Ann added, seeing Theodora pink slightly. “You do very well, Theodora. And you have been everything that can be expected of an elder sister, which I can never thank you enough for.”

  She made to say more, only for her eyes to settle on a gentleman and a lady standing together, holding hands under the trees. Looking away, she felt herself grow hot with embarrassment, not wanting to interrupt this intimate moment. Above her, the sudden rumble of thunder caught her ears, making her look up in surprise. It had been a very hot summer’s day but she had not thought that a thunderstorm would strike!

  “We should return,” she whispered, riding closer to Theodora who, for some inexplicable reason, had come to a stop. “I do not wish to interrupt and besides which, I –”

  “Ann.”

  Theodora’s sharp whisper cut her off, making Ann frown. Theodora had not lifted her gaze from the couple that Ann feared to interrupt, which Ann thought to be rather rude of her sister. A gnawing fear began to rise within her chest as she turned her head to see who the couple were, only to discover that it was none other than the Marquess and Lady Hedley.

  The air left her lungs in a rush, forcing her to bend forward with the ache that kicked itself into her stomach. She could not look away, even though she knew that she ought to, her eyes took in everything that was occurring in front of her.

  Lady Hedley laughed softly, shook her head and then murmured something quietly, before pressing her hand to the Marquess’ chest.

  Ann closed her eyes, feeling all the fears and worries that had clung to her since the moment of her engagement come back to her heart and min
d in one moment. Their strength overpowered her, leaving her weak and useless as she opened her eyes to see the Marquess press both hands against Lady Hedley’s. He shook his head and looked deeply into Lady Hedley’s eyes.

  A sob ripped from her throat before she could prevent it. It was sound enough to bring the Marquess’ gaze away from Lady Hedley’s and to search through the trees to see who had interrupted them.

  Ann wanted to spur her horse on, wanted to ride through the park and hide herself from him so that he would not know it was her who had seen him, but her legs refused to move, her hands holding the reins tightly as their eyes met.

  The Marquess frowned. His eyes widened as he looked back at her.

  Ann felt paralysed. A single tear ran down her cheek as she looked at him. She was fully aware that his surprise did not come from what he was doing with Lady Hedley but rather that he had been discovered doing it. How foolish she had been!

  She had believed him when he had told her that he would not allow himself to be captured by another now that he was engaged.

  She had trusted him when he had promised that he would not seek out a mistress even though she was fully aware of his reputation. And now, she realised, she had been left as nothing more than a fool.

  Thunder rumbled ominously above her, bringing further darkness to her. Without addressing the Marquess, without even hearing Theodora’s words of comfort and encouragement, Ann grasped her reins tighter, kicked her horse hard and rode away from the entire ugly scene.

  Tears poured from her eyes as she rode, streaming down her cheeks and being blown back by the wind. She had very little idea of where she was going, giving in to the urge to ride away without hesitation, with her only desire being to escape from the Marquess.

  Rain began to fall from the skies, thunder breaking forth again and sending a ripple of fear through her, but she did not stop. The rain began to pierce her, it ran down over her cheeks, over her hair and into her skirts, but still Ann did not stop. Her heart ached too painfully for her to remain where she was, and was too sorrowful for her to return home.