An Unlikely Savior

by Camille Oster

  “You think they will still try to find us? They might just assume that we perished.”

  “I don’t know, but I am not willing to take the chance.”

  Virginie was starting to feel warm again. Her body still ached, but she could feel her limbs and her skin again. They just stood there for a while, waiting and warming. She started to reflect on the day they’d had. They’d escaped the soldiers twice, robbed a Jacobin, hid in a hole and nearly drowned. She had never had such an adventure, not that she enjoyed a second of it, except for the one part that had been quite a revelation and unbelievably enjoyable. With that rather important exception, the day had been fraught with fear and panic, but now they were here, warm and safe, and she was in his arms. She closed her eyes for a moment. She had slept during their time hiding in the cellar, but she could sleep again. She felt slumber tugging at her.

  “Don’t fall asleep,” Tomas said. We must keep moving once we are warm enough. He reached out and touched the clothes stuck to the kiln wall. “They will be dry shortly.”

  They remained standing as there was nowhere to sit. The ground was covered with sharp rocks of some variety and it would be impossible to sit there. Eventually Tomas decided that it was time to dress. He removed the pieces of wood securing the clothes to the kiln wall and removed the hot garments.

  Virginie pulled her shift on, then her drab woollen dress. It was hot against her body and it smelled clean. She guessed getting tumbled around in the river was as good a wash at it had seen in a long time. She wished she had her own wardrobe. She wanted Tomas to see her as she was at home, in a beautiful dress. She wanted to be beautiful so he would find it hard not to look at her.

  Tomas wrapped his jacket around her. Even with the water, she could still smell him on it. She took a deep breath and catalogued the scent of him.

  “We should go now,” he said. “These kilns are attended to during the night and someone will come soon. We have been lucky.”

  Virginie didn’t want to leave the warmth of the place, but she knew Tomas was right. They started walking down a path. She had no idea where it led. Her body protested being on the move again, but she couldn’t afford to listen and she certainly didn’t want to seem weak and complain.

  They kept walking until they reached the road.

  “Do you know where we are?” she asked.

  “I have a rough idea,” he said.

  “Will the soldiers look for us on the road?” she asked with concern, looking behind them.

  “Maybe, but we would hear them coming. If they are searching for us, they would be on horseback. Likely they will wait until morning if they are still looking for us.”

  Virginie watched Tomas as they walked along down the desolate country road. She was worried that he was getting cold without his jacket, but he made no indication that he was. The danger had passed and he was back to being more like he had before, with a mischievous glint returning to his eye. He was proud of what he had achieved and he had the right to be. She had seen the same look when he returned from the Jacobin’s leader’s house. She wasn’t sure anyone else could have gotten them out of the scrape they were in, but he had and she was grateful as well as proud of him. They had lost everything, but he’d never given up. She couldn’t believe that she had ever doubted him.

  She had also lain with him, when they thought the game was up and there was no hope. She didn’t regret it and she couldn’t see herself ever doing so. She still felt the thrill of it in her body whenever she thought of it. She also knew he regretted it and it hurt her. He had wanted her at the time; she could feel it in his kisses and in his touches.

  She was absolutely sure that he would get her to safety, he seemed capable of anything. Then they would part. The thought disturbed her. She didn’t want to be without him, and he was going to head back into the danger. She knew he was safer if he was on his own, but she would still worry. She didn’t want anything happening to him. She wanted him to be happy, whatever that meant. She was pretty certain that he could be happier than his life in Angers.

  He wouldn’t accept Etienne’s patronage, but then Etienne had little to offer now. She did want to see the brothers reunited. She knew it would mean a lot to Etienne to know that Tomas was safe. She used to believe that Etienne was better off forgetting about Tomas. She couldn’t believe how wrong she had been. She completely understood Etienne’s love for Tomas now. She knew that Tomas cared about Etienne as well, but there was something in his pride that wouldn’t let him be supported by his brother. Instead he chose something else.

  “What did you do in Angers?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “When you were in Angers, what did you do with your time? Did you work?”

  “Most people work,” he said. He wasn’t very forthcoming. “I helped one of the builders.”

  “You helped build structures,” Virginie said.

  “Yes.”

  “A mere laborer? Why? You could have done anything, worked as a clerk, worked with governing. Why would you be a mere laborer when you have education beyond that of anyone who governs Angers?”

  “There is nothing wrong with being a laborer, or working with one’s hands. It’s honest work, more honest than any official in France.”

  “But you wilfully limit your own prospects.”

  “I don’t have any prospects, Virginie.”

  “I don’t understand how you can say that.”

  “I have even less now.”

  Virginie stopped walking. He was resentful toward her for having to leave his strange life of deprivation behind. She felt like crying. She had been so desolate when she thought that he was going to suffer because of her, but it was hard to realize that he blamed her too. It was true, it was her fault and she should understand fully that he was angry. It still hurt though.

  “I will do what I can to recompense you,” she said. “Perhaps I will be in a position to help you to get established and to make connections. I will have money.”

  “I am sure you will be,” he said and kept walking. Then he stopped and turned to her. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t need you to pay me.”

  “It is not an issue; I will pay you whatever you want.”

  “I don’t want your money, Virginie!” he said forcefully.

  “What do you want?” It had been a question that had plagued her since she’d met him. She just couldn’t figure out what he wanted to achieve with the course he had chosen, and the fundamental disapproval he had for her position and duties. She didn’t understand what it was he was expecting her to do. His situation due to the circumstances of his birth was far from ideal, it was unjust and unfair and there was no disputing that, but his complete rejection of society and refusal to capitalise on any advantages couldn’t be the answer.

  He didn’t answer, he just looked at her. “Can we just please keep walking? What I want is to get to the coast at the earliest possible opportunity.” Virginie stared at him, but he started walking again. He had cut their conversation off and refused to discuss it further.

  They walked in silence for a while. Virginie felt the distance between them like a physical barrier. She wanted to be in his arms again, feeling safe and secure. He was angry at her and she hated it. She wanted to cry but she refused to. She swallowed the lump in her throat and kept walking.

  It felt horrible being at odds with Tomas, but she would survive. She was surprised how much she had survived the last few days. She wouldn’t have believed her own strength when she left Aubesvines. She would never have left the house if she had known the journey they would have been in for. But she was stronger than she’d ever thought herself capable of being. Strength had not been something she had been raised for. She had been raised to be dependent, to be cosseted, and to be pretty and obliging. At home, she couldn’t be trusted with anything requiring any real decisions.

  On second thought, she wasn’t sure she regretted the last few days. As much as it had been terrifying, she wa
sn’t sure she would trade this time with Tomas and the things they had experienced. She’d thought she was going to die and she’d lain with him, given him her virtue. While it was a bit scary as it was the thing that was prized in her above all else and she had given it away. She had received a new understanding of herself in the process; she was a different person from the one she had been before the trouble really started affecting her life.

  It slowly grew lighter around them. She could see more of the countryside they were passing. It looked eerie but beautiful in the very faint dawn light. The light had no warmth to it despite its golden hue. The pebbles of the road crunched beneath their feet, echoing as they walked. There was nothing around them, no farms or cottages. She had no idea where they were or how far it was to another living soul.

  Virginie felt her stomach rumble with hunger. She had to think back to remember the last time she had eaten. Maybe Tomas could catch a rabbit for them like he had before. He didn’t seem to be in the mood to talk, so she didn’t ask. The thought reminded her of the soldiers and how they had called them rabbits before Tomas had thrown her over the edge of the bridge into the water below. It really was a miracle that they had survived the soldiers, then the water, followed by the freezing cold. Virginie thanked the saints who had obviously been watching out for them.

  Tomas froze and Virginie immediately stopped as well. She looked around and listened to see what had concerned him. Then she heard it, noises coming in the distance behind them. They listened for a while.

  “Do you think it’s the soldiers?” she asked.

  “No,” Tomas said. “The soldiers would be louder. That is a carriage or a cart of some description.

  “We should get off the road,” Virginie said. Tomas nodded and they walked into the rough grass by the side of the road until they reached a copse of trees. Virginie hid behind the tree while Tomas stood out a bit further watching for whatever was coming. She felt more and more anxious as it grew closer. She feared that whoever they were, they would see them and come after them. She’d learnt to see everything and everyone as dangerous now, something that hadn’t been true not long ago.

  “Stay here,” Tomas said. He was back to complete calculated movements and actions that drove him when they were in danger. In a sense, she felt like she had him back. There wasn’t that anger that was in him when things were calm. He walked away from the trees approaching the cart that was slowly making its way down the road. Virginie saw that it was pulled by a donkey. Obviously not soldiers, it must be some kind of peasant cart, she realized.

  Tomas spoke to the man, bringing out some coins from his pocket. The man sitting at the front of the cart stroked his beard for a while, then decided to reach for the coins. Tomas turned to her and waved her toward them.

  She left the trees and darted to Tomas’ side. He moved to the back of the cart and lifted her up by her hips, placing her on the back of the cart. He then jumped up next to her and the man slapped the reins on the back of the beast, pulling the cart along with a start.

  The cart was full of mostly empty baskets with a few containing turnips. Dry earth still clung to the pale roots. Tomas grabbed one out of a basket and wiped some of the earth away. He took a bite and chewed it, before handing it to her. She’d never eaten a raw turnip before, in fact, she wasn’t entirely sure she had eaten a turnip before, but her stomach didn’t seem to care, it just needed something, even a raw and tasteless turnip.

  It was difficult to bite and tough to chew, but she kept trying. Her body needed nourishment and this tough root was the only thing available. They sat at the end of the cart with their feet dangling over the edge. The pace was very sedate as neither the man nor the donkey seemed to feel any hurry. Virginie didn’t know if the slow pace was a good thing or not. They would be longer on the road, but perhaps the slow pace would make them appear less suspicious. She hoped so anyway.

  Tomas moved some of the baskets around then lay back on the floor of the cart. Virginie watched as his body stretched out, shaking with the jerky movements of the cart. His eyes were closed and she recognized the exhaustion that he was surrendering to. She wanted to snuggle into his arms, but the movement of the cart made it difficult. She had to lie down next to him. Tiredness seeped into her body, robbing her of any energy she had left. Not even the shaking and jolts of the cart kept here awake.

  It was warm when she woke up and there was sun in her eyes. She had to protect her eyes when she opened the, but she could see that Tomas was sitting up watching the landscape as it slowly passed by. Virginie sat up slowly. Every part of her body protested. Everything was sore, from her head to her bones and everything in between.

  “Where are we going?” she asked.

  “To the coast.”

  “Are there ships there?”

  “No, just fishing boats, but they can perhaps take us to the ships,” Tomas said. “Sooner or later, we will find one that will take us.”

  “Us?” Virginie asked feeling hope flair in her. “Are you coming as well?” She grabbed his hand, urging him to say yes.

  “I will come to,” he said. “It will be easier to sail to Italy from England.”

  Virginie felt relief flood her. She was terrified of him heading back into the dangers of France and he would be safe as well if he went to England with her. She was also scared of heading off to England on her own. She would feel much more secure if Tomas was there with her. While England was better than staying in France at the moment, by a very long shot, it was still a foreign country with foreign customs. She was very glad she wouldn’t have to face that alone.

  He didn’t shake her hand off, just let her hold his. Then he tugged his hand out of hers and jumped off the cart. He ran along the side of it and disappeared into the growth along the road. Virginie watched him take off out of sight, but she wasn’t worried, she knew in her bones that he would not desert her. He was gone for a while and she watched for him. He returned and ran to catch up with the cart, jumping back up on edge, where he presented her with two ripe pears. Her eyes grew with delight.

  She bit onto one of the pears letting the juice flow into her mouth. It felt like the most decadent thing she had ever tasted. It was only a humble pear, but it tasted like ambrosia. Tomas ate his as well, then threw the core onto the road when he was finished.

  “How long will it be?” she asked.

  “Hours yet.” He smiled and leaned back on one of the baskets, soaking up the sun. It felt strange being able to relax. There was nothing to watch out for or to run from. There was just the continuing relentless rumble of the cart and the sun that seemed to warm them today. Virginie slept some more as she could allow herself more than the bare minimum her body could take. She felt safe there on the back of that cart and she could allow herself to relax a bit.

  Chapter 10

  They said goodbye to the man who had given them a ride an hour or so before dusk. They’d had a lazy day on the back of the cart, but her body ached with travelling so long, compounded with the strain from the previous days. Her body was far from used to such high level of activity, but complaining would achieve nothing. She tried to stretch her tense muscles out, but wondered if her body was just laughing at her efforts.

  The road they walked down parted from the one that the turnip farmer needed to continue travelling to reach his home as he returned from the market in Nantes. The air smelled different here. Virginie had never been near the sea. As she only really travelled between Aubesvines and Paris, there had never been any cause to travel to the ocean.

  “We must be close, I can smell salt,”

  “We will have to walk a bit, but we are close,” he said.

  Virginie couldn’t shake the residual worry that the farmer was going to turn them in, that soldiers would be chasing them down the street any minute, but there was nothing behind them every time she looked back.

  It was growing cold again. The heat of the sun was long gone and night was creeping in. Virginie still wore Tomas�
� jacket and she worried that he was going to get cold. If there could only be a way they could get another shawl or jacket, they would be much better prepared for whatever they had to face. She’d wear anything at the moment, even a sack if she came across one. She marvelled at how different her perspective was now. It was only really a few days ago that she absolutely baulked at Tomas’ suggestion that she wear this dress.

  It smelled much better now after it’d had a good dunk in the river. The heat from the lime kiln had made the material feel a little more snug. She wouldn’t have thought it possible, but the dress was actually quite flattering to her figure even though it was the drabbest color she had ever worn. She was also getting used to not wearing a corset. She could breath and she could move, novelties that she was not used to. If fact, she was never seen by anyone without a corset on, other than her maids.

  A man was coming down the road toward them. He drove a small cart with a donkey, moving at a fairly rapid pace. Tomas put his hand on Virginie’s arm, but they weren’t moving off the road. Not that there was anything to hide behind. The landscape was more open here with little more than srubs. Yet again, Virginie felt fear grip her as the man came closer. She was looking to Tomas for direction, but he only watched the man get closer.

  The man was just upon them when he tipped his hat and kept going. Virginie had expected more, but the man kept going without any further acknowledgement.

  “He had no interest in us,” she said.

  “It is a small village, it may be that the revolution has a very small impact out here,” Tomas said and studied the man.

  “I hope so. I’m not sure I can take any more madness.”

  They kept walking. It was getting dark and the smell of salt was getting stronger. It was also clouding over which meant it would be really dark that evening. Unless they got to the coast, they might lose track of the road completely. Virginie started to worry. They had no horse blanket to keep them warm, they only had each other and one jacket between them.