Paper Dolls [Book Five]

by Blythe Stone

  “Fuck!”

  I stood up and grimaced. She just laughed and shrugged while I took the puck out and put it down on the table. I tapped it against the left bumper of the table and she blocked it easily, sending it flying back toward me on the same side.

  I waved the paddle and sent it flying back at her, just to the left of the slot. It pinged off of her paddle and slid into the slot at her end.

  “Yes!” I stood up and did a little dance.

  “One to one,” Sky intoned.

  Natalie sent the puck back at me and it slammed into the slot once again, pissing me off. She needed to stop catching me when I wasn’t ready.

  I took the puck out and fired it back and she blocked it, tapping it off the side. It hit the side of my paddle and bounced back and forth in front of my slot before sliding in.

  “Damn,” I groaned.

  I pulled it out and smashed it, making it fly down and hit the right corner at her end of the table. It bounced back and I tried to swipe at it but it flew right into the slot again.

  Natalie crowed and laughed at me.

  “Shush,” I demanded. I was beating myself… typical.

  I pulled the puck out and set it down, tapping it softer. She hit it back and we exchanged a few more gentle taps before I slipped one past her.

  “HA!”

  “I let you have that,” she laughed, not even bothered.

  “Sure,” I muttered.

  She hit the puck again and I was being more careful. One more and she would win.

  “What, you think I’m kidding?” She asked, so suave it unnerved me. As she looked right at me she must’ve hit the puck. When I looked down it had gone past my paddle and my hand.

  “Fuck!” I yelled again.

  I looked over at Skylar who was trying not to laugh too hard and then Olivia who was just smiling. I didn’t like how smug Natalie looked and now she was going to kiss my Vi.

  “We can go again if you weren’t ready,” Nat said, so sure of herself.

  “No,” I said. “You won.”

  I knew if we went again I would just be even more pissed and she would probably win. I stepped away from the table and tried to ignore the sinking feeling I was getting at the thought of Natalie and Olivia kissing.

  “You wanna play, babe?”

  “Yes,” she laughed. “I’ve never played this before.”

  “You’re so fucking cute Livia, I can’t take it,” Natalie laughed, fixing her hair.

  “Uh huh,” I agreed.

  I put a few coins in and pushed them into the machine and stepped back to stand with Skylar.

  “What did she win off you?” I asked. “For real.”

  “She’s taking me somewhere,” Skylar said flatly. “What are you and Olivia playing for?”

  Nat was standing really close to Olivia and whispering something right into her ear.

  “Oh,” I said. I watched them and knew that Natalie was getting so much pleasure out of this- baiting me.

  “We didn’t make a bet,” I said and I smiled down at Olivia.

  Even though Nat was talking to her Olivia had her eyes sort of staring off and then they moved to fixate on me as she softly smiled. It was like every time she saw me she remembered me again. Not just the little things, everything, all of it. I loved her so much.

  Nothing was going to make me ever give her up. I always knew that but when she looked at me it was far more evident. I put the puck on the table and tapped it toward her. She was probably going to be amazing at this just like she was at everything else.

  As it came toward her she hit it carefully, testing out the waters and watching as the puck simply floated over the surface.

  I tapped it back a little harder, letting her get a feel for how the whole thing worked. It was different. The air lifted the puck as it moved and it could get away from you easily.

  “Okay, yeah, harder,” Natalie said, moving down behind Olivia and putting her hand over hers to help her hit the puck really hard.

  I stopped the puck and sent it back just as hard. I didn’t like that she was all over Olivia again, knowing that it was going to drive me nuts until we got this kiss out of the way.

  “Okay,” Olivia laughed, stopping the puck and hitting it back. “You guys are way too serious about this stuff,” she noted.

  “Avery and I have an understanding,” Natalie said, moving back over to the side of the table and putting some distance up between Olivia and herself.

  “You look good with that paddle Olivia,” Skylar teased.

  “Shut up,” Olivia laughed, “I know I look stupid.”

  “Babe, you couldn’t look stupid if you tried,” I said.

  “Okay, I really can’t play if you’re all just going to be extra nice to me. What’s in the water here? I need to go do some tests,” she teased.

  “You’re just that awesome, I guess.” I tapped the puck back and waited for her to hit it again. I wanted her to beat me so we could do something else.

  The puck sailed back and I missed it as it slid past my paddle and into the slot.

  “Avery,” she sighed. “Please try. It’s not fun if you’re not trying.” She knew I was going easy on her.

  “Yeah, Avery. It’s kinda fucked up to treat your fiancé like she’s some delicate child,” Natalie poked.

  “I really did miss that,” I said, grumbling and lifting the puck back onto the table.

  I hit it hard and watched as she blocked it and sent it back at me. I used the side and tried to angle it in past her. It almost made it in but she stopped it halfway and pushed it back, sending it back again. It bounced off the side and flew past me.

  “Seriously?!” I threw my hands up. “I’ve never ever been this bad at air hockey. I think someone jinxed me.”

  She’d beat me and I was done. I didn’t mind that she did. It was just with everything going on I hated that I was sucking it up after being so confident.

  I set the paddle down and walked down the table toward her, holding out a hand. “Good job.” I said.

  “Hmmm,” Natalie teased. “It’s almost like you WANT to lose,” I heard her say. “Can I play you?” She asked, turning back to Olivia.

  “Sure,” Olivia seemed surprised.

  “I don’t want to lose. I just suck right now.” I huffed off and stood against the wall while they played. Olivia started to get the hang of it as she kept playing and Natalie was in some serious trouble at times but her record remained intact. She was grinning as she won.

  “Yes, yes you’ve beat all of us now. Shall we go?” I said, laughing.

  “Wow,” Nat scoffed. “If I’d known it would’ve pissed you off this much I wouldn’t have even played anything at all.”

  “It’s not that. I’m just mad at myself,” I shrugged. “I’ll get over it.”

  “Does it hurt you to lose?” Natalie asked, nearly serious but mostly with a smooth tease to her tone.

  “Only when the stakes are high,” I said.

  Skylar and Olivia were talking and laughing about something now. I watched, taking the moment to be real with Nat.

  “Oh, I see,” she said, following my eyes over to Olivia. “So, you really think I’d just do something like that? After everything?” She was so close to me but all of a sudden she sounded very stern. I could feel her next to me. I could also feel how strange it was that she had put a distance between us. She was never like that. She’d always been about eliminating personal space and wanting me to feel her.

  “I don’t know. I’d want to kiss her really bad if I was in your spot. I might be crazy enough to do it so why not?” I looked down.

  “How would you want to kiss her?” She asked seriously. I felt her hand place down purposefully on my waist as she turned me, moved me. Her body pushed into mine subtly so she could watch me as I answered her.

  “Slow, so I could feel every second and it wouldn’t pass too quickly. I’d want her to feel me and know what she meant to me. I’d want her to know that eve
n though I wasn’t who she wanted I was still here and I loved her. She should always know that she deserves so much love.”

  Nat pushed me a bit with her hand, her thumb leading my chin up and in. I felt her body coming into mine as she kissed me, just like I said I’d want to kiss Olivia if I were her. My head swam. I didn’t even have time to register it until it was already happening. Both her hands were on my face and she was softly loving me, kissing me so intimately with all that emotion she’d obviously had because of Olivia.

  “You’re a sweet person,” I heard her whisper all husky as she pulled away almost sadly. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”

  “What the…” Skylar must’ve seen.

  “I’m gonna get some air,” I heard Nat say as she walked past me, leaving me standing completely shocked.

  “What the hell was that?” Skylar asked. Olivia seemed confused but not exactly surprised. She sighed visibly and I followed her eyes as they trailed after Nat and came back to watch me.

  “It was Natalie,” was all I could say.

  I cleared my throat and tried to move past the kiss. It was so different. I hurried to Olivia’s side. “I didn’t ask her to do that. I-” I knew she wouldn’t be mad so much as maybe confused. “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “I… What was that?” Olivia asked, an odd confused smile on her face as she looked back down at my lips and then up again at my eyes.

  “I thought she was supposed to kiss Olivia,” Skylar said.

  “What?” Olivia scoffed, looking past me to meet Skylar’s eyes.

  “They made a bet,” Sky shrugged.

  Olivia rolled her eyes at me. “Really?!” She asked, annoyed. “Great,” she said, depressed, as she walked past me to go check on Nat.

  “Olivia,” I tried to catch her but she was too fast. I sank back, taking my disappointment with myself inside and letting it sit there. I couldn’t just be miserable in front of Skylar.

  “I’m sorry this turned into drama. It was my fault for even agreeing to the bet. I knew she would be upset.”

  “So, why’d you do it then?” Skylar asked, smiling her soft knowing smile.

  “Cause I thought I’d win and I’m an idiot.” I pushed my hands through my hair and looked up at her. “Anyway, next week we should do a real friend date and forget this happened.”

  “I’m not going to be forgetting anything, but yes, please,” she said calmly. “I feel like you’re not just talking to me about stuff. Are you trying to make your life complicated or something? It doesn’t really make much sense,” she laughed awkwardly. “Okay, yeah, I can’t not ask you. What the hell did that feel like just now?”

  “I don’t try to do anything. I just do it. I keep stumbling around like I’m in the dark when I should know what I’m doing. It’s frustrating.” Her question scared me a little. “It was nice. She’s a good kisser. It took me by surprise mostly and it was nothing like kissing Olivia.”

  “Okay well,” she laughed. “That sounds surprisingly human.” She paused a second and pushed me a bit. “I’m kinda glad. You were starting to seem like a robot or something for a while there.”

  “Oh god, can I please go back to that? The not feeling was so much easier,” I deadpanned.

  As much as it seemed like it sometimes, I really didn’t want this to be all about me.

  “But what about you? I feel like you must be feeling a little weird with all of this going on.”

  “Eh, it’s not too bad. I much prefer outings like this to the ones I’d been having with Sarah. She’s sorta spiraling… Much as I hate her, not even she deserves that...”

  “Spiraling? What do you mean?” I walked over to the seating area and waited until Skylar sat down with me to focus on her.

  “She doesn’t really have friends Avery. Clint rightfully dumped her. She’s always second to you. How long did you think she’d be able to take all that before going a little crazy? Plus, after she heard about Ben she started acting all weird.”

  “Weird how?” I swallowed a lump.

  “She has these cheerleader friends. She’s been hanging out with them more and they’re crazy… I’ve been trying to sort of steer her away from them but you know how she is. They go to these college parties. Fraternities. She’s been drugged before. Like we were I guess. I dunno. I sorta hate it. She won’t tell me everything. She’s kinda drowning.”

  “She’s not going to listen to me either. Do you think that maybe Ben…. I dunno. Did she ever spend any time with him?”

  It wasn’t like anyone would have ever guessed about me and Ben so I could see him getting to someone else before he found me.

  “What? No.” The thought visibly annoyed her. “Well… I don’t think so. She took his health class but, no,” she said decidedly. “I think she just felt responsible… For you. Like we all do. Our whole senior class is sick with it. Everyone knows.”

  “She shouldn’t. It was my choice to get involved with him and his choice to abuse me. As much as I hate to say it, this had nothing to do with anyone else.”

  “You try to make it sound simple and it’s not,” Skylar said. “It’s not simple how we’re friends or how you and Sarah were friends or how you and Olivia came to be. None of this stuff is simple but you want to think it is…” She stopped talking. I followed her eyes. She was staring off at some random spot on the wall off in the distance.

  “It’s not simple. It’s just not anyone’s fault except Ben’s maybe.”

  It was mine too but I didn’t want to say that. She would just get mad.

  “Sarah’s just dealing with finding out. I dealt with it, sort of. It’s not really something that can be easily swallowed. Like it or not, we all let you down.”

  “Maybe I should try and talk to her,” I’d decided.

  “You can try,” Skylar sighed. “A lot of time’s past though. Sarah’s been on her own for months now...”

  “I’m at least gonna try.”

  I’d been so blind to everyone else in my life. It was understandable but it still made me feel like shit.

  “Okay, let’s go.”

  We got up and I didn’t even think about it, I just reached out and hugged her. She had been alone that whole time and I’d had Olivia. She deserved the best, better than me. She deserved someone who could love her right.

  Chapter 16

  Olivia

  The night had been odd, to say the least.

  As I walked away I thought of the moments I had to myself while everyone was talking.

  There’d been a guy on an arcade bike and I liked watching him. He had a leather jacket on and his boy was two bikes down, racing the same imaginary track.

  “It’s not like real,” he laughed, nodding his head back to get my eyes to travel outside and see his real motorcycle that lay just beyond the window.

  “How’s it feel?” I asked.

  “Like thunder,” he joked. “Wanna try?”

  “I dunno,” I smiled and looked back at my group. Avery was being all edgy. If I left her sight again she’d probably freak the fuck out. In public she didn’t much like me being far. I could tell that it worried her when I wandered or went off with anyone who wasn’t her. It wasn’t really possessiveness as much as a comfort thing. She had a hard time finding comfort now with other people and I knew exactly why.

  She didn’t own me or anything but I worried about her stress and her triggers. I worried more than she’d like me to. I tried to minimize that stuff.

  Thinking about it now drove me a little mad. Vivianne, my mom, Mrs. Daniels, they had all told me to concentrate more on myself. This was what they were talking about, stuff like this. I wanted to ride the bike. I wanted to go outside and ride the bike with this man. But I wouldn’t. I knew I wouldn’t.

  Apparently, he knew too and somehow understood.

  “Well here,” he had laughed. “It’s a cheap simulation but it’s the next best thing.” He leaned the bike over to me and held his arm out to brace my body should I have a
hard time mounting.

  “Okay,” I’d laughed, getting on.

  Trust was such a strange thing. Why did we feel compelled as humans to trust one another?

  I thought of my private conversation with Skylar. The one I’d had while Avery and Nat were both playing.

  “You’re mad at me, huh?” I asked.