Seeing Stars

by Rachel Burns

  “Please stop, sir. I’ll never do it again,” Hannah begged the director.

  “One last one,” he told her.

  Hannah sobbed louder, knowing that the last one was always the worst. Her body shook as she fought with herself to keep her hands on the top of the desk and her body in position. She certainly didn’t want him to start over again.

  The cane snapped across her cheeks, and Hannah screamed out again. Her hands went back to rub over her punished rump.

  Now that it was over, Emily opened her eyes. Hannah had several stripes, which were already fading. Emily felt that her punishments were worse became more area got hit. That would be a reason to lose weight. The tinier her backside the less surface the cane could get her.

  The director scolded Hannah again and told her that she had been cruel, and thus he had to be cruel as well. Hannah bent her knees and took hold of her panties and tugged them back into place while she whimpered and nodded at the director.

  “I want you to apologize to Emily.”

  Hannah looked over her shoulder. “I’m sorry, Emily. I’ll never do it again. I want you to find a daddy some day.”

  Emily tried to smile at the other girl to let her know that there were no hard feelings, but she still needed to be caned, and she was scared. Emily was a baby when it came to punishment. She cursed herself for not thinking about the cane while she ate.

  “Good girl, Hannah. Now leave.”

  Hannah left the room, crying. She ran out of the room, wanting to have a moment to herself alone in her bed.

  It was Emily’s turn now. She looked at the director.

  “Emily, you know the routine.”

  Emily nodded and stepped out of the corner. She went to his desk and pulled down her panties. She could feel the director’s impatience with her as she leaned over his desk and lifted up the back of her dress. Her hands shook as she laid them on his desk. He’d given Hannah a severe punishment. He’d probably give it to her worse.

  “Why do you let yourself get used like this time and time again?” he asked Emily.

  “I wasn’t finished with my breakfast when she switched our plates. I only wanted to eat what I would have if she hadn’t switched them. But then I forgot, and then the plate was empty.”

  “You know you have to eat less, then your body will get used to less and you won’t be so hungry all the time. It’s that simple.”

  If only it were that simple, Emily thought. He didn’t understand about the hungry beast that lived in her tummy, demanding to be fed. She’d get so hungry that she couldn’t think about anything else. Besides, the orphanage was a boring place and the same things happened every day. There was nothing here to distract her from the beast.

  The director whipped the cane through the air.

  Emily flinched when it landed. Nothing could prepare her for a punishment. It hurt so much every time she got one.

  Why couldn’t she learn from her past mistakes like the other girls did? She wished she were smarter.

  “I’ve been hoping for years that a sturdy strong man would come here and want a wife who shared his stature, one who wouldn’t mind about your weight problem, but, obviously, that isn’t going to happen.” He let the cane crack across her fat hind cheeks, making them jiggle as the shock wave travelled through her body. “If you can’t find a daddy by your twenty-fourth birthday, you will become one of the nurses and help with the younger girls to earn your keep. I’m giving you fair warning, Emily. If you can’t get into shape, you’ll never know the love of a man.”

  The cane landed again. He wasn’t hitting with the same force he used on Hannah, but the words he was saying hurt her worse than the strokes she was receiving.

  His words were breaking her heart. There was no hope for her. She’d never know love, the one thing she longed to have. Her love of food had ruined everything for her. She decided then and there that she wouldn’t eat anything ever again. She wanted a daddy more than she wanted to fed the beast.

  Then she lowered her decision. She’d only eat vegetables. A couple of the girls were vegetarians. She could become one of them.

  Maybe she could have meat once a week. Maybe twice would be better, but then she wouldn’t have sauce on her meat. Of course, the meat was sometimes dry and the sauce was needed to soften it up.

  Then Emily decided that she would eat normally, but she wouldn’t under any circumstance eat dessert, … only her favorite desserts. If she never had dessert, she might become bitter and cranky. No man would choose a cranky little girl.

  The director punished her while she sniffled and sobbed. She had such a low opinion of herself. And when she felt bad about herself, she wanted to eat. She realized that she’d never be thin, and no man would ever want her. Emily lacked the willpower to ever change herself. Even now, she longed for something sweet to eat, something that would comfort her as she worried about her lonely future.

  “I’m disappointed in you, Emily. I’ve known you the longest of all the girls, and I’ll admit that I have a soft spot for you. You’re a very nice girl, but it hurts me to see you sabotaging yourself day after day. As always, you will be excluded from meals today. Use that time to think about what you want from life.” He brought the cane down one last time.

  Emily bit her tongue so she wouldn’t cry out. She was glad that this punishment was over. For the first time, she hadn’t screamed and fussed. She knew that he had gone easy on her. Clearly, he didn’t think that she would ever learn her lesson. He’d given up on her.

  Emily was already twenty-three. That meant, she didn’t have much time left. Once she was twenty-four, all hope would be gone. She’d live for the little girls, teaching them to become what a daddy would want them to be. Her only hope was that a fat man would come and want a wife soon. That happened. She’d seen several fat men here. However, they’d chosen thin girls to be their wives.

  He finished and told her to go to her room. She wouldn’t be getting any more meals today.

  She went out and closed the door.

  When she looked up, she saw a man. He was young and extremely fashionable and trendy. He looked sophisticated and elegant. He had the air about him of a man who knew what he wanted and got it. She’d never seen anyone like him before, but even she could see that he was better than the usual men who came here.

  His hair was a dark copper color. He was a little pale, but his face was so fine. His clothes were the expensive kind, but they were cut in an exquisite and trendy way. Most importantly, he wasn’t fat. He wouldn’t want her.

  She looked away from him and went out and up to her room, wondering what someone like him wanted here. The men that came here were all older.

  It didn’t matter. What mattered was that she had no hope, and that she was hungry. If she could fill the empty hole in her belly with food, she could feel loved for a few minutes. Now, she’d never be loved by a man.

  Emily looked out of the window and thought about running away. She dismissed the idea right away. A woman couldn’t live on her own. She needed a man to take care of her or an institution like this one. Everyone knew that.

  Chapter 2

  Oliver Keaton wasn’t sure if he could go through with this. He’d gotten the address from a business colleague of his. Well, better said, a colleague of his father’s. His father wanted him to show an interest in taking over the family business.

  Oliver had no such interest.

  His parents felt that he was too flaky. They wanted him to be like them, but that was Oliver’s worst nightmare. He was the youngest member in a long line of very successful Keatons. They were all waiting for him to grow up and become serious like they were.

  Oliver wasn’t ready for something like that, and the others weren’t so old that they needed a break. He told them that.

  His uncle had a very clever idea. They’d cut him off financially if he didn’t get married as soon as possible.

  He’d just broken up with his last girlfriend. She’d only been using
him. He could be seen in the press with some model at his side and some sort of drink in his other hand.

  Oliver’s psychiatrist had convinced him that he was one step away from being an alcoholic.

  Oliver talked to him about everything. The good doctor believed that Oliver had a strange need to feel responsible for someone, but that chance had never come. He wanted someone to comfort in a motherly way because his mother never had, and he wanted to take care of someone else.

  His doctor advised him to find a wife and have a child.

  That was a problem. Oliver didn’t want to have a child.

  At his recent business meeting, he’d talked with his business partner, Mr. Colt, and met his wife. The woman called her husband daddy, and he took care of her like she was a small child. They both smiled at each other constantly.

  The women he dated only smiled at him when they wanted something, but they stopped as soon as they got it.

  His parents never smiled at each other either. He looked at their marriage, and he didn’t want that for himself. He looked at his colleague’s marriage, and he thought about the way they looked at each other.

  Oliver wanted a smiling wife.

  He got the information, and here he stood ready to go. He realized that this couldn’t be legal. Mr. Colt had told him that the girls were transferred here from other orphanages and raised to believe that this was the way things worked. They didn’t even question this lifestyle. The man was the head of the house and the wives obeyed their husbands eagerly.

  It was true. Oliver had seen it for himself.

  He was feeling very nervous. His heart was racing, but he had so much training that his disinterested look remained on his face. He got out of his sports car and hit the button to lock it. He looked up at the orphanage and thought that it looked like an expensive estate.

  How come no one had ever found out about this place? Right here in America?

  Was some satellite taking his picture right now?

  He hurried in, hoping that he wasn’t being set up.

  A woman greeted him at the door. She told him where he needed to go. She was very friendly, but he could also tell that she’d recognized him. A confused look passed over her eyes. Was she right? Was this all just a very bad idea?

  He walked down the hall to the back of the house and then to the left. This room looked like an office. There was a desk where, normally, a secretary should be sitting.

  A girl was backing out of a door that was directly across from the door he’d just entered. She was wearing a dress that went past her knees. It was light blue, and she looked exactly like an old fashioned doll. Her dark hair was done in thick long curls.

  She turned, and he got to see her face. She had perfect white skin and dark eyes, but he couldn’t see their exact color because she was already turning away from him and leaving. His eyes moved to her arms. They were pudgy, and there was a bit of lace trimming on the sleeves of her dress, accenting her beautiful porcelain-white arms.

  His heart skipped a beat. He’d just seen a real life doll. Her lips had even been a dark red like a doll’s. She’d been making a pouting face. If all the girls here looked like that, then it would be a hard choice.

  He was surprised that she interested him. He usually only dated supermodels, and they were so thin that he often got poked with elbows and knees. But that girl had been cuddly but not quite chubby.

  He knocked on the door after he caught himself staring at her.

  ~

  “Mr. Keaton, I need a little assurance that this isn’t some kind of undercover attack. I personally bear the responsibility for all the little girls here.” The director was pacing up and down. He was worried that he was being had.

  “You see, we’ve never had an adoptive father who was so young before. And I might add, one that has quite a reputation as a ladies man.” He stopped pacing and looked the young man up and down.

  “I understand that financially you wouldn’t have a problem taking care of a little girl, but can you deal with it emotionally?” the asked, continuing with his lecture. “I have to think about my charges well-being. Most of the men, who come here, come after a divorce. They marry someone of their social standing just to realize that wasn’t what they needed.”

  “As you said, I have experience with the ladies. They disappointed me. Mr. Colt warmly recommended this orphanage. I must call on him as a reference. I met him and his lovely wife a couple of months ago. They have a harmony that my life lacks. I saw something that I want for myself. I always get what I want.” Oliver stared him down. He’d been born to power, and he never let normal people put him down or deny him things.

  “Of course, Mr. Keaton. Shall we sit and talk about the arrangements?”

  “That’s why I’m here.” Oliver sat down in the chair that the man pointed to, and he informed him what he was looking for. He wanted a wife. He wanted to get married as soon as possible, but out of the country. Which meant, he needed a wife with a passport.

  “All of our girls have all of their papers. That won’t be a problem.”

  “Most of our girls have a nurse or a nanny who takes care of them for when their daddies don’t have time. A girl without one would be considered neglected in your circles.”

  “Do you have a list of available nannies?” Oliver was, of course, going to do right by his wife. “I’d want to interview them before I let anyone loose on my wife.” He was picturing himself sitting with the girl that he’d just seen and interviewing strict-looking women with tightly tied buns in their hair. They’d have long pointy witch noses too.

  That wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted someone that would make his little girl smile. Oliver had been raised by nannies. He wanted better for his little girl. It would be him taking care of her on a daily basis. The nanny would only be a companion. He felt a need to be very clear.

  “I insist on having a happy girl. I want to start our marriage out on just the right note. Trying to please someone who is never pleased is a never-ending and very unfulfilling job.”

  “I understand completely.” The director was starting to believe that this was on the up and up. The young man looked pained when he’d said that. “All the girls that we’ll be showing you today have been raised to this life, and they believe it to be normal. They see being chosen by a man as the best thing that could ever happen to them. You’ll get a smiling bride. I can assure you of that. Should I have the girls line up for you? Maybe the one for you will be among them?”

  “And if she isn’t?” Oliver asked. He was starting to feel a little sick to his stomach.

  “Then you come back. You’d receive a notice every time a new girl turns eighteen. That’s a very strict rule that we have. She has to be eighteen before we let a daddy take her away.”

  Oliver was a little disgusted. The girl didn’t need to be that young. He wanted a woman to pamper, one who would let him, but he didn’t want to be a babysitter. He didn’t really want a teenager.

  They stood and went out. The director brought him into a formal sitting room with lots of chairs. “This is where we celebrate all the major happenings in the girls’s lives. Their Birthdays, Christmas, Easter and so on.” He pulled out a whistle and blew into it, and then Oliver could hear dozens of girls on the steps charging in.

  Was that ever annoying. He wouldn’t allow his little girl to run in the house.

  The girls were all smiling at him. He caught himself looking for the doll-like one again, but he didn’t see her or anyone like her.

  The girls had formed a line. They were all smiling and hopping a little with excitement.

  “You may look closer at the girls, sir.” The director smiled at him.

  Oliver swallowed hard and started to walk down the line. Here was really a collection of the most beautiful girls he’d ever seen. They all looked just like the models that he usually dated only in less sexy clothes.

  This wasn’t what he was looking for. He felt so disappointed. All the girls were
extremely thin and flat chested. He wanted something he could grab onto.

  He was at the end of the line, and he knew that he’d just glanced at each girl for less than a second, but they all weren’t right.

  “There is one missing,” he proclaimed. He sounded pissed; he knew that.

  The director looked mad. He stepped forward. “We talked about the possibility of having to come back,” he whispered.

  “No. I saw her before when I went into your office. The really pretty one. She looked like a doll.” He was being too loud. He realized that, but he didn’t want his time wasted either.

  The director sighed relieved. “I see. Two of the girls were a little naughty at breakfast. They were sent to their rooms.” He pulled out his whistle, and a nurse showed up immediately. “Please bring Hannah in.”

  The nurse gave him a bow and turned away in a very relaxed matter. It was all Oliver could do to not roll his eyes.

  “Sir, may I advise you not to dismiss the girls here too quickly. This is a big decision. Perhaps, the biggest in your life.”

  “Exactly.” Oliver glanced over at the girls lined up. They all looked the same, just with different hair colors.

  The nurse came in with a girl that he’d never seen before. She was a replica of all the girls here. He felt a desire to feed her, but that was something that often led to fights with his old girlfriends. He could never sit down and enjoy a meal with them. They talked about food like it was pure poison.

  “That isn’t her.” He turned to the window, wondering if he’d made it all up, but her image was burned into his mind.

  “She had dark hair with curls in it. She was pale, like a porcelain doll. She was wearing a light blue dress.”

  “Emily?” the director said with surprise in his voice.