by Jennie Adams
She thought he’d also whispered that she humbled him, that he didn’t know himself right then.
She realised that Hugh was the chapter that had been closed completely. That had been a weak shadow of real emotion in the first place, and it was now so completely gone. She had wanted true love, but Hugh had not been that.
Cecilia understood this now because of the man who held her and the love she held for him.
How would she face tomorrow?
She closed her eyes and willed the thought away.
Exhaustion won out at long last.
She slept.
CHAPTER TEN
‘I SHOULD BE at the nursery, making sure my staff are safe and continuing with preparations for the masked ball.’
Cecilia spoke with emphasis as she addressed her words to the small group gathered in the rooftop garden area at Linc’s family’s warehouse building the next morning.
‘How can I hide myself away and leave them vulnerable?’
It was still early. Linc had called this family meeting to put the situation to his brothers and sisters-in-law and seek their collective input.
Cecilia had agreed to the meeting. In truth, it had seemed easier than trying to deal with her new-found emotions alone with Linc at his city apartment. But those emotions were still there, and so were the demands of the rest of her life.
It was clear Linc wanted to gain his family’s support in convincing her to stay out of the limelight. Linc had said as much when he’d woken that morning and joined her in his kitchen, where she’d been already showered, dressed and waiting to tell him she had to go to work.
All the shock and uncertainty she had been too exhausted to process late last night, in those incredulous moments when she had realised she’d fallen in love with Linc, had awoken her before dawn, determined to make themselves well and truly known again and demand that she work out what to do about them.
As she’d showered and dressed, a need to be by herself and process this new knowledge had overwhelmed her to such a degree that she hadn’t known how she could even face Linc.
She loved him.
There could be no future for them.
Her heart was breaking.
All her heart and emotions, everything she had inside her, had fallen in love with one amazing man. That was the beautiful part...the wonderful, incredible part.
But Linc hadn’t expressed those emotions—had not at any point in time led her to believe that he had fallen for her. On the contrary, he had tried not to yield to the deepening attraction and interest between them, and last night he had warned her...
She had to acknowledge that if they’d not been through such an emotionally charged day yesterday, in all likelihood he would have continued to avoid taking things further between them.
And his succumbing to temptation did not mean that his emotions had changed whatsoever. That part shattered her heart all over again.
Cecilia caught his gaze. Oh, it was so hard now to look into the grey eyes that had looked into hers in the very moments before she’d realised she loved him!
The only thing Cecilia could think of to do was hiding herself in her work and finding distance from him so she could shore up her defences.
‘Linc, you said yourself that you’ve assigned a security team to the nursery, so there shouldn’t be any problems with me going back to work today.’
You have to let me go. I can’t be in your company—especially not just the two of us, shut away from the world. Not yet. Not now. Not ever. And I can’t think of that right now, either!
She needed to gather her strength and figure out how to go forward from here.
‘I should be safe enough at the nursery with a security detail in place. And if I’m not, then my staff aren’t, either!’
This was a genuine concern, and it made complete sense to her.
Until Jayne spoke.
‘I have to agree with Linc.’ Concern for Cecilia shone in Jayne’s eyes. ‘At least for today allow the security team at the nursery to monitor things and give some feedback as to whether anything odd or unusual occurs. It would be better if you didn’t go back to your workplace, Cecilia. You’d be distracting them from being able to watch the others as well as they would without you there.’
Cecilia’s hopes fell. ‘I hadn’t considered that...’
She should have considered that. It should have been completely obvious to her.
Linc heard Cecilia respond to Jayne’s comment and silently thanked his sister-in-law for voicing the concerns that he shared. But Cecilia looked so crestfallen as she acknowledged Jayne’s point, and—as they had done since he’d first woken that morning—Linc’s emotions churned. He’d thought that he could give himself last night. That if he made sure Cecilia understood there would be no tomorrow it would be okay. He’d convinced himself he could do it without causing hurt, provided he was honest about it at the start.
If all that was true, then why did he feel so empty inside right now? Why did he feel that he’d lost something wonderful? And Cecilia... She didn’t look happy and fulfilled—as though she’d been able to answer a question that had been in her mind and now could happily move on. She looked as though she wanted to run as far and as fast as she could.
What if she did? What if she took up the offer from the Silver Bells committee and left him?
You mean if she left working for you.
Either would have the same result. She would disappear out of his life, and he wouldn’t see her any more.
Panic tightened Linc’s chest. He couldn’t let that happen!
So help her sort out these issues and, the first chance you get, talk to her about last night. Tell her how it made you feel. Tell her you want more.
But Linc couldn’t have more. He glanced across the room at his brothers. He could not have more.
‘It’s still early.’ Linc offered the words quietly.
There was still the situation of a dangerous man who had threatened harm to Cecilia, and that situation had to be managed, whether Linc had other things preying on his mind or not.
So he waited until Cecilia finally raised her gaze to his, and then he said, ‘We have time to contact Jemmie, to let her know the basics of the situation and ask her if she’ll be comfortable taking charge for today while the security team do their thing. I am confident she and the others will be protected if anything does transpire.’
‘I have to work.’ Cecilia’s words held an agitated edge. ‘It’s not that I believe the nursery can’t get along without me—certainly for one day, anyway—although the timing isn’t great. I just can’t spend the day in idleness with nothing to do but think.’
The others would believe she wanted to avoid thinking about the man on the loose, her sister’s plight and of course those things would be causing her worry and stress. And she would think about them if left to her own devices.
Somehow Linc had lost sight of that for a bit—had failed to remember all the pressure that would be weighing on Cecilia’s shoulders today.
He felt selfish in that moment, to have believed all her thoughts would be of what they had shared. Last night he could have controlled that situation—not allowed it to reach the conclusion it had.
Yet even as he thought this, Linc knew it wasn’t true. For the first time in his life he had not been able to fight his way out of core emotions that had been so strong.
Cecilia sought his gaze and held it. ‘You know I need to be at work. I can’t possibly— I need—’
‘Whatever you need, you will have. I will make this work for you, Cecilia.’
He simply made that commitment to her. Linc was a man who’d struggled, triumphed, lost, loved, given and been blessed beyond anything he’d imagined his life could be. The family he, Alex and Brent had
built out of the ashes of abandonment had saved Linc.
If Cecilia needed space, he could give her that and still keep her secure. He could help her, even while he tried to sort out his own emotions.
Linc felt a degree of calmness return as he realised he could do this.
Cecilia heard Linc’s words and felt the kindness and care in them. Oh, she wanted so much to believe that those words came out of a deeply held love for her, but she knew Linc would do this even if they had never shared so much as a kiss.
Don’t think about it. Not yet.
She glanced about at the gathered group. ‘I’m grateful to all of you. None of you needed to weigh in on this but you did so without hesitating, and that means the world to me. I just—’ For one panicky moment she thought she might choke into tears in front of them all. ‘I need—’
‘Not to have everything taken away at once?’ Brent broke in.
‘Not to feel overwhelmed with pressure?’ Fiona added. She turned her gaze towards Linc. ‘You’re quite certain everyone at the nursery will be safe?’
‘I don’t believe anyone could get past the teams that are in place.’ Linc’s words were resolute. ‘But I still have to take every precaution, and because the guy threatened Cecilia directly, made it clear his grudge is towards her specifically, I can’t make that same guarantee for her.’
When he went on, it was as though he had focused inwardly.
‘I’ve made the mistake in the past of letting a bully harm someone—’ He broke off and his gaze rested on Alex. ‘That was unforgivable, and I will not ever allow it to happen again.’
‘That was a long time ago, and it wasn’t even your—’ Alex got halfway to his feet.
‘Worry about it later, Alex.’ Brent cut him off almost sharply. ‘We need to focus on the current issue.’
What had Linc meant? And why had his words caused Alex to respond in that way, and Brent to cut the conversation off completely?
Brent spoke again before Cecilia could think any further. ‘We’ve established that the security team should be able to cope and that they’ll need at least today to observe without the bulk of their attention being on keeping Cecilia safe.’
‘Yeah. We have.’ Linc turned his gaze to Cecilia. ‘I’m sorry, but that’s where I stand on it. I’d shut the place down rather than have you there today.’
She knew that he would, and she paused to consider and then reject that option. ‘I’d rather avoid that, if possible. It would only draw more attention to the fact that there’s a problem.’
‘I have what I hope will be a tolerable second option for you.’
As Linc spoke the words he could only be grateful for his family and for the support they’d given by rallying around this morning. Last night had thrown him so far off balance he’d been concerned that he might miss something or make a poor decision.
Linc didn’t feel worried about that any more, but he was still thankful.
‘I’ll bring some of your repurposing items here. You can work on them today and stay for as long as is needed. You’ll have access to the phone and internet, so you’ll be able to give support to Jemmie remotely, as well.’
This apartment was large. They could work all day and barely see each other if they chose.
‘Great idea.’ Brent nodded his approval.
‘We can take turns coming here if you need to go away anywhere, Linc.’ Alex added his thoughts.
‘I’ll agree to that plan—for today at least.’ Cecilia didn’t love it, but if she could busy herself that would help. She caught each person’s gaze in turn. ‘Thank you all for—for caring.’
At least by accepting this today, she would ensure that Linc’s relatives didn’t do dangerous things such as turning up at the plant nursery, where protection would be more difficult, wanting to express their support for her. Given their care and concern this morning, she wouldn’t put it past them!
‘Being able to do my repurposing here would be ideal—just while we’re waiting to see how the security team are feeling about things.’ She filled her tone with determination.
‘Thanks, everyone. Why don’t we make a start on breakfast?’ It was Linc who made the suggestion. ‘I’ll head to the nursery to collect some of Cecilia’s items. I’ve got the truck downstairs. I haven’t had it out for a while. It will be a good chance to give it a run and for me to check in with the security team at the same time.’
‘You’ll keep safe?’
Cecilia wanted to go with him but knew that he wasn’t inviting her and that he wouldn’t do so. She had to stay out of the limelight, whether she wanted to or not.
‘I’ll phone Jemmie and bring her up to speed.’
‘Remember that you don’t have to tell her about anything more than the threat itself if you don’t want to.’ Linc turned the grey-eyed gaze on her that was now so familiar and dear. His words were protective, but perhaps only she could hear that? Or was she making it up because she wanted to believe it?
A moment later Linc had gone, and Cecilia was left with his loving, amazing family, all examining her with interested gazes.
‘Will you excuse me if I step away to make the call to my assistant manager?’ She grasped at this plan a little desperately and hoped her emotions—the ones that related to Linc, at least—weren’t all over her face.
Hopefully, Linc wouldn’t be gone too long.
Hopefully, Cecilia would soon get control over these new feelings for Linc that had thrown her so profoundly off balance. Maybe she only thought she felt this way due to the stress of the current circumstances?
Dream on, Cecilia.
Fine—then she would focus on what had to be done today, one step and one moment at a time, until sooner or later she would get some time to herself and figure out how to deal with these feelings, protecting herself from heartbreak in the process. There had to be a way.
Cecilia stepped away and phoned Jemmie.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
‘THEY NEED TO catch this guy.’
Cecilia spoke the words after jumping when the fridge in Linc’s kitchen gave a shuddering sound at the end of its auto-defrost cycle.
She went on. ‘Either that or I’m going to turn into a complete, neurotic mess.’
It was the following evening. They’d agreed that they would go in to the plant nursery for the day that morning.
Doing so hadn’t been as easy as Cecilia had thought it would be. She’d spent all day looking over her shoulder and worrying. Was everyone safe? Could the security team really cope, no matter what happened? Was Stacey truly safe in the correctional facility? What if Linc was holding off talking about the night they’d shared because he didn’t want to let her down when she was relying on staying at his home until she could be safe elsewhere?
And so it had gone—all of yesterday and even more today—until finally they’d returned to his apartment to a dinner prepared and left for them by Linc’s housekeeper, Rosa.
Cecilia was once again only picking at her food. There seemed to be a permanent lump lodged in her throat.
Linc watched Cecilia push food around her plate and couldn’t deny the relief of having her back here, where it was a whole lot easier to keep an eye on her. All except for the fact that they were now alone, and he’d had all day today and all of yesterday to think about what they’d shared, and all he’d been able to think was what if he’d made such a mess of things that he couldn’t turn that around?
‘You’ve got every right to be jumpy.’ He stood, cleared their plates and they made their way to the living room.
‘I had a call from Stacey today.’ She settled into an armchair as he took his place on the sofa. ‘It came through while you were doing a check with the security team.’
‘How was she?’
‘She’s
okay. She’s had several conversations with the police.’ Cecilia paused and worried at her lip with her teeth. ‘It’s been done discreetly, and she’s really hoping what she’s told them will help them catch the guy.’
‘You never stop thinking about her, do you?’ It was an observation as well as a question.
‘Only when—’ Cecilia stopped and shook her head. ‘Stacey’s very important to me,’ she said instead. ‘That will never change. I know it’s the same for you with Brent and Alex. You love them deeply.’
Her voice held a hint of wistful longing, but all Linc heard was praise for his caring nature. He didn’t want to tell her the truth, and yet he couldn’t withhold it.
You’ll lose her. She won’t want you if you tell her what happened. It will be one more rejection in your life, and this time you’ll deserve it.
‘I do love Brent and Alex.’ At least he could say that much with absolute assurance. He forced himself to go on. ‘But there was a time when I abandoned Alex. He suffered because of my self-interest—because I put what I wanted before making sure he was okay.’
‘I can’t imagine that, Linc.’ Surprise tinged her words.
Linc felt ill. He’d been asking himself how he could hold on to Cecilia, but he knew he didn’t have the right to that kind of wonderful relationship. He shouldn’t have allowed himself to ignore that fact. Not for a moment.
‘I ignored him for weeks on end when he was at his most vulnerable and needed me to be there for him.’
‘What—what happened?’ Concern filled her expression.
‘I was the oldest, and as a result the first to leave the orphanage—though I was able to get Brent out soon after. I got Brent a job. Alex, because he was younger...’
‘He had to wait before he could join you?’ Her expression showed empathy. ‘It must have been tough, having to leave him there?’
‘It wasn’t as tough for me as it should have been.’
Linc had never discussed this. Not even with Brent, back when it had all unfolded. Not his emotions about it. He hadn’t needed to say anything. He’d done something profoundly selfish and wrong, and he’d shoved that acknowledgment deep down inside himself where it would never leave him. Where it belonged.