She smiled as she thought of her mother’s Christmas tree just sitting in storage. It was too hard to get it up all thirty-four of her steps, and Shayla and her family used the Dalton tree that was going up later that night. It was time to dust off her mother’s prized possession and bring it to life again. Christmas was her mother’s favorite holiday, and her father’s least favorite. The year her dad was imprisoned was special. Her mother was finally able to buy a tree, and even though she and Shayla had been sent to foster care after their mother died, her sister somehow managed to hold onto that tree.
It was a big source of joy in her life, one she wanted to share with Keiffer.
“As a matter of fact, if you can do without me, I have an idea on how to get him to participate in something fun.”
Shayla’s brows rose, along with the curve of her mouth.
“Not that type of fun,” Caitlin uttered with a shake of her head.
Although, she certainly wouldn’t be opposed if it led to some naked fun.
***
All in all, Keiffer’s week had gone pretty well. Benny was calmer, so he was able to leave the gelding alone for longer periods of time, which gave him the opportunity to help out at the rescue shelter, and to help Jesse train Quarter Horses on the ranch side of Shadow Rock. He liked staying busy. Staying busy was the key to keeping sane. To keeping the dark images from his past at bay.
At least during the day.
Nighttime was a whole different story, although his nightmares had been infrequent of late.
Thanks to Caitlin.
The amazing woman occupied a lot of his thoughts. Whether it was her sweet smile when she played with her nieces, the way she gently cradled a kitten while dropper feeding…or the way she mewled, tossed her head back and bit her bottom lip last week, while he’d worked her over, slow and thorough. She crowded his mind and it left little room for the nightmares. Once he left, he was fairly certain they’d return, but for now, he was going to enjoy the small respite.
“We’re meeting Tanner and Gwen again tonight at the Pub. You want to come?” Jesse asked as they hung up saddles in the tack room at the end of the day.
“No thanks. Not tonight.” He liked the two cowboys. They all had a lot of things in common.
In the National Guard—like he used to be—they were around his age and good with horses; proficient with a wrench, although, he hadn’t picked one up in almost two years; NASCAR fans, and more. Keiffer had zero doubt they could become fast friends.
He didn’t want any.
Didn’t need any.
Been there, done that—had the hole in his soul to prove it.
Caitlin was his friend.
Shit. Where the hell had that thought come from?
Never mind that it was true. It was dangerous...and what was she doing in his cabin?
He just caught sight of her going inside.
“Okay. Maybe next time.” Jesse nodded as they parted just outside the barn.
His mind worked several scenarios, and they all ended with the two of them naked in his bed. A smile twitched his lips while something entirely different twitched his crotch to life.
All week he contemplated knocking on her door, even came close. Twice. Especially two nights ago when he’d gone with Jesse and Tanner to the Pub and bumped into Caitlin. Unable to stay away, he’d asked her to dance, but gave himself a condition…no sex. Dancing always seemed to lead him there, and he didn’t want her to end up in that category. So they enjoyed several dances, but afterward he walked her to the bottom of her stairs, made sure she got inside, then got in his truck and drove the hell away.
Only to return a half hour later and sit and stare up at her apartment, fighting his stupid urges and common sense, and what was right for Caitlin. Which was what had won out in the end, and had given him the strength to leave her alone.
And now she was in his cabin doing who knew what.
His heartbeats kicked up speed and adrenaline rushed through his veins as he stepped on to his porch. Maybe she was there to proposition him. His temperature spiked to furnace. He should be so lucky. With a wry smile twisting his lips, he opened the door to find Caitlin putting the top part of a Christmas tree together.
Everything inside Keiffer instantly froze as he sucked in a breath at the pain stabbing through his chest.
“Surprise!” She smiled at him in front of the fully erect, bare tree.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” His tone sounded guttural and foreign in his ears, but he was too far beyond shocked to realize how harsh it came out.
She flinched and her hand flew to her throat. “I-I wanted to surprise you with a tree.”
“Take it down.”
“What?”
“Take the damn thing down. Now.” If he took a second and listened to himself and read her body language—let the tears register—he might’ve shut the fuck up. But, he didn’t, and couldn’t. All he knew was the tree had to go.
And that he couldn’t breathe.
“Keiffer?”
He heard her voice but he wasn’t seeing the cabin. Flashes of the garage and the damn artificial tree still in the corner hit him. Hard. The one his buddy was three months late in it taking down.
For all Keiffer knew it was still up.
Whenever he saw one that size it transported him back to that damn morning.
“Keiffer. Go outside. I’ll take care of it.”
He heard her voice again, but everything was hazy. He had to get out. Get away from the tree. Stumbling for the door, he tried to tell her thanks, but he could barely breathe, let alone talk. He was an ass. And he owed her a hell of a lot more than a thank you, but none of that was happening now.
Once outside, he scurried off the porch and headed across the ranch. The more distance he put between him and that damn tree, the easier it was to breathe. By the time he entered the Quarter Horse barn he was pulling in big gulps of air. He needed to calm down and horses always calmed him down, but he hadn’t wanted to subject Benny to his anxiety. The gelding would’ve picked up on it immediately.
No. Brushing down one of the work horses would help. He grabbed the brushes and set them in the grooming area Kade had sectioned off, then led one of the horses there, whether he needed the brushing or not. He never met a horse who didn’t enjoy gentle currying.
As he began rubbing at the top of the neck in a circular motion, he calmed his mind, and soon images of Caitlin started to trickle in. The look of shock and pain pinching her face during his stupid tirade gripped his gut, his chest, and his shoulders tight.
He knew her actions were done out of caring. She’d had no idea he was an ass, but she did now.
God, he hated that he hurt her. He had to make it right, somehow.
Once he finished the combing and brushing, and he was certain his control was back in place, he needed to find Caitlin.
***
After dismantling the tree, Caitlin shoved all the pieces back into the large box and struggled to push it onto Keiffer’s porch. Kade had helped her get it inside, but she couldn’t bring herself to call him back so soon.
She’d have to explain what happened, and it felt wrong. Like gossiping. No. Once Keiffer calmed down, he could help her take the tree back to storage. Surely with it boxed up and out of sight, he wouldn’t have an issue with proximity.
Different story when the tree had been up.
Her heart clutched just thinking about it.
Dammit.
Somehow, it had triggered a memory. She wasn’t sure how, only that it had. God, she’d never forget the look of panic and anguish on his face. Even thirty minutes of feeding the kittens, followed by another twenty playing with some of the older cats at the shelter hadn’t lessened the impact of his expression.
Caitlin greeted a few volunteers on her way to the bathroom to wash her hands and face, wishing it was possible to erase her brilliant tree idea from her brain earlier. But of course it didn’t. And couldn’t
. She was just going to have to try to track Keiffer down and make sure he was all right. Otherwise, she’d have to tell Kade what happened.
Still wishing she could take it all back and have a do-over afternoon, she stepped outside the shelter to find a familiar, tall, broad-shouldered Yankee cowboy leaning against her car, a troubled expression on his face.
Chapter Eleven
Although the urge to up her pace and close the distance between them before the guy had a chance to escape shook through Caitlin’s body, she forced her steps to remain steady, unlike her pulse. It raced faster than the color rising into her cheeks.
His gaze wasn’t angry or closed off. Heaven help her, it was open and contrite, and she was beginning to forget how to walk. Her brain was fuzzing over. Retreating appeared to be the last thing on his mind, for as she neared her car, he straightened and strode right to her.
“Caitlin. I’m sorry. Sorry for being such an ass again.”
She should be angry. Hurt. Pissed. But she’d seen the look on his face. He’d turned an eerie shade of white. He was shaking and sweating. His eyes had an almost blank, horrified look, as if he wasn’t seeing the room at all. Something else had his attention. Something bad.
“You were only trying to help, and I hurt you.”
While saying all of that, he had stepped right into her and cupped her face with both hands. She was having trouble forming coherent thoughts, let alone sentences. His nearness was fuzzing her brain and need was taking over.
A tremor raced down to her toes.
“It’s okay,” she whispered through her tight throat, running her palms up his chest.
“No. No, it’s not.” A deep V formed in his brow. “It’s never okay to treat you like that, and I hate that I was unable to stop it. All I knew was I needed to get away from the tree. It had to go. I’m sorry.” He crushed her against him and held her tight.
She was content to hold him a few moments, touched, and maybe even a little shocked that he made this effort. It was a good sign that he recognized what happened and was willing to show feelings in order to make amends.
He exhaled and spoke quietly, a slight tremor running through his body as he buried his face in her neck. “There was a tree just like it in the corner of the garage where I found Greg.”
Oh, no…
She closed her eyes, felt tears dripping down her face while she ran her hands up and down his back. “I triggered a memory. I’m so…so sorry, Keiffer. So sorry. I just wanted to do something fun with you.”
“No, Caitlin. Don’t apologize.” He drew back to frown at her. “You didn’t do anything wrong, do you hear me? You did something sweet, and I repaid you by barking at you. God, you didn’t deserve that. I’m very sorry.”
Then his hands were cupping her face, neck, and ears again, while his warm lips kissed the wetness from her cheeks before slowly, tenderly covering her mouth. Caitlin shook from the strength of the raw emotion she felt radiating off him. From the fierce emotions he stirred in her.
She clutched at the lapel of his open jacket, her mind absently registering the smell of horse, the taste of honest emotion, and the unmistakable heat of deep seated need.
Hers.
His.
When he ended the kiss, he set his forehead to hers and dragged in air. “I know I don’t have the right to ask, but…come back to the cabin.” He bent his knees to peer into her eyes. “Stay with me.”
Throat hot and completely swollen, she couldn’t get anything out, so she nodded. Relief eased the tension from his shoulders, and he leaned close to kiss her forehead before running his hand down her arm to grab her hand. He entwined their fingers, and together they walked back to his cabin.
Caitlin knew something momentous just happened. Something changed—in a good way—a positive way. She was still riding that high when they walked past the box on his porch and entered his cabin. The man was opening up, letting down barriers, and she wasn’t about to let anything negative come into play.
He shut the door, and the sound of the lock clicking in place sent her pulse into the realm of insane. She turned to face him and wasn’t sure who made the first move, but suddenly they were kissing—long, deep, thorough kisses. The kind that had her heart thudding in her chest and knees wobbling from lack of strength.
“God, Caitlin,” he murmured against her lips when they finally broke for air. “What are you doing to me?”
She sucked in a breath. “Same thing you’re doing to me.”
He captured her mouth again, then things got a little crazy. His hands were everywhere, touching, stroking, and she did the same.
“Too many clothes,” he mumbled against her throat, removing her coat, while she tried to shove his down his arms. Releasing her, he stepped back to finish the job, then grasped the bottom of his shirt and yanked it off his hot, hard body with one hand.
Damn, that was sexy.
Grasping the bottom of her shirt—with two hands—she ripped her sweater over her head and dropped it on the pile they were making near the door. Her boots, socks, and jeans joined his, and she gasped when he picked her up and set her on a nearby heavy credenza.
Her concern over its integrity was forgotten the instant his lips covered hers in a kiss that had her good parts aching for his touch. Ever the mind reader, he caught her bra straps with his thumbs and slowly tugged them down her arms until her nipples were freed. He released her mouth and glanced down.
“Gorgeous.” He reached around to unhook her bra and his eyes darkened when she bounced free of the lace. “So gorgeous.” Round and around, he traced her breasts, coming close but never touching her nipples, all while his mouth was kissing a path down her throat.
She squirmed, and gripped the back of the credenza in an attempt to keep from pushing his head to where she needed him. “Keiffer.”
He chuckled against her skin. “Patience, baby,” he repeated, but then his thumb made contact with one peak while his mouth closed over the other.
Caitlin cried out, and this time she grasped his head and arched into his touch. He paid homage to each, brushing, licking, sucking, until her body was quivering with need. His mouth continued to worship her breasts while his hands slid lower to hook his fingers under her panties and pull them completely off.
Then he released her and stood back, looking his fill. “God, Caitlin. You’re so beautiful,” he breathed, and stepped between her legs to capture her mouth in a hot, deep, bone-melting kiss as he trailed his hands up her thighs.
He trace her with his finger. “So wet,” he muttered against her lips, slipping his tongue into her mouth as his finger slid inside.
She moaned and thrust against his hand, unable to control her need. Damn, he had her so close already. She wanted to hold on, to savor him. But she was already so tightly wound. She clutched the credenza and broke the kiss to throw her head back. “Keiffer…I’m…I can’t hold on.”
“Don’t,” he said against the curve of her neck where he sank his teeth.
She gasped, then cried out a long moan that echoed off the high ceilings as he added pressure with his thumb and pushed her over the edge. The room faded as she bucked wildly against his thrusting finger that prolonged her orgasm for what seemed like several erotic, blissful minutes, until he slowly reduced his movements and brought her back to earth.
By the time she regained enough strength to open her eyes, he was naked, rolling on a condom, and staring at her with such heat in his gaze her body shuddered.
“Damn, Caitlin,” he said roughly, stepping between her legs to position his tip at her center. “I need to be inside you. Now.” Grasping her hips, he slid her to the edge and simultaneously thrust inside.
Their twin gasps filled the space between them.
“So good,” he muttered, eyes closed, neck taught. “This is what I needed.”
She wrapped her legs around him and hooked her ankles together, drawing him in further.
His eyes snapped open as he sucked in a
breath. “Damn, Caitlin.”
She smiled and rocked against him.
A fierce hunger tightened his face, while a teasing glint entered his eyes. “So that’s how it is?”
“Yes.” She ran a hand down his chest and abs, stroking just above their connection. “It’s very good.”
“Hell, yeah.” He captured her lips in a hot, wet, demanding kiss as he began to thrust in and pull nearly all the way out, slowly killing her brain cells.
Her whole body was on fire, and when he skimmed a palm over her breast and caught her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, she broke the kiss to gasp.
“So responsive.” He kissed a path to her ear and bit the soft spot he knew drove her mad. She gasped again, arching into him.
He sucked in air, cooling her skin in the process. “I’m done. Hold onto the table.”
She released his arms to clutch the sides as he ordered while his hands returned to her hips and he began to trust hard and fast.
Oh, God…
Her eyes about rolled to the back of her head as they drifted shut. She arched, bracing against his delicious thrusts, so close to climax again.
“Look at me, Caitlin,” he said, voice hoarse with the very need consuming her, ruling her actions.
Somehow managing to force them open, she locked gazes with him, and the stark enjoyment on his face nearly set her off. He upped the pace and she mewled. That seemed to drive him wild so she mewled again. And again. He felt so good, but she lingered on that edge…just out of reach.
“Keiffer…I need…”
The clever man knew exactly what she needed, always knew, always took care of her. This time was no different and proved it when he pressed his thumb to her center. “Keif…fer,” she panted and burst.
Simply burst.
“Ah, hell…” He removed his touch to grab her hip and drive into her in a hard, deep thrust, which spurred his own strong release.
It was sometime later when Caitlin floated back into her body and became vaguely aware of him pulling out and disappearing down the hall. She gazed up at the ceiling, counting the beams while working to get her breathing under control.
Her Troubled Cowboy (Harland County Series Book 9) Page 11