by Dior, London
“What’s up, bro?” Keem spoke to Jabari, holding out his hand to slap fives with him. I guess he was trying to see where Jabari’s head was.
Jabari just hit him with a head nod, focusing on me and Milan. “Come here. Let me holla’ at you right quick Milan.” He demanded.
I started to say something, but Milan spoke first. “What do you want Jabari? We have nothing to talk about.” I could see it in her eyes that she was scared as hell. That fucked with me. She should have known that as long as I was around, she didn’t have shit to worry about.
“Man, get yo’ ass over here.” He lunged at her, trying to grab her up. But, I stepped in with the quickness, pushing him backwards. He stumbled a bit before catching his balance, then he followed up by whipping out his nine. I didn’t even see that shit coming. The music stopped and the whole crowd gasped as he pointed his piece at my head. He had me at a catch-22. I wanted to knock his fucking head off. But, I wasn’t stupid enough to make the wrong move for him to shoot me.
Chapter Seven
Milan
This so wasn’t how I imagined my life ending. I just knew that Jabari was about to kill Wise, and I was next! Now I had to try to calm Jabari’s crazy ass down. “Please don’t do this Jabari.” I pleaded, stepping in front of Wise. I needed to talk some sense into him before things were all bad.
Jabari focused on me, and was about to say something, but Keem caught him off guard with a left hook to the temple, and he followed up with a few more blows, knocking the gun out of Jabari’s hands. After that, Wise, Keem, and a few of the dudes out of their crew began to jump on Jabari. No one helped. Jabari had come to the party with someone and he even had a few friends sprinkled around the room, and not one person helped. I just stood there with my hands covering my mouth, crying. As fucked up as Jabari was, he was still my children’s father and he did hold a place in my heart.
I finally snapped out of it, rushing to try to pull them off of Jabari. “Oh my god! Y’all stop. You’re going to kill him!” I squealed, grabbing at Wise’ arms. He snatched away, knocking me backwards and I fell to the ground. Then, I felt someone pulling me away from the chaos. It was my best friend, Chanel. “Come on boo. Get out the way. Jabari did this shit to himself.” She tried comforting me. But, I wasn’t trying to hear her. This shit was just too much for me.
Luckily for Jabari, a few niggas came over, pulling everybody off of him. He was curled up in the fetal position on the ground, and he looked unconscious, but I couldn’t really tell. The tears in my eyes had blurred my vision.
Wise looked at me. He was mad as hell. “Fuck this shit. Let’s go Milan!” He demanded. I froze. Was I supposed to leave with Wise, or was I supposed to stay behind and make sure that the man that I once loved for eight long years was okay?
I mean, I knew that if I left with Wise, there was no turning back. I wanted that happily ever after with him, I truly did. But Jabari had this crazy ass hold over me that wouldn’t allow me to leave. I think that Wise saw my hesitancy and made the decision for me. He turned to walk away and I felt the air leaving my lungs.
I couldn’t believe that I allowed Wise to walk out of the party, and out of my life. My heart shattered into a million pieces as I watched his silhouette disappear into the crowd. I wanted to run after him, but my feet were stuck in place. I couldn’t move. A tear fell from my eyes, knowing that I fucked up.
I looked at Jabari, as his homeboys lifted him off the ground. Keem and Wise had roughed him up pretty badly, but he was going to be okay.
“Hurry up and get that nigga the fuck out of here!” Keem yelled. “The fuck wrong with this nigga? We fucking family and you pulling out guns and shit.”
Jabari didn’t say anything, he looked at Keem with this funny expression, then he looked at me with the look of disgust. I couldn’t believe he was mad at me when his friends let him get his ass whooped.
I stared back at him with a look of uncertainty. I didn’t know what to say, I actually didn’t get a chance to say anything. Jabari abruptly turned toward the door and began to walk away; I followed behind him, too embarrassed to stay. I knew that I had just made the dumbest decision of my life by playing Wise in front of everyone, but it was too late to take it back now.
When we made it outside, I tried stopping Jabari to talk to him. I grabbed his arm, but he snatched away. “Don’t fucking touch me! This is all your fault!” He screamed on me. We were now standing in the parking lot face to face. I temporarily dismissed the fact that I shouldn’t have cared at all. I had just found out that he made a whole baby on me, yet I was the bad guy?
“Will you just listen to me!” I shouted, becoming frustrated. “You put me through so much. But, I love your dog ass. I shouldn’t even care, but I do!”
Jabari kissed his teeth. “Man stop talking to me Milan. You disrespectful. It’s a million niggas in this world and you choose to fuck with that nigga? I ain’t never fucked with a bitch you knew. Fuck you!”
“Fuck me?” I asked, appalled. “I’ve been nothing but loyal to yo’ ass! It’s funny how you can fuck over me time and time again; but can’t take it if it’s dished back.”
“Prove it.” Jabari shot back, confusing me.
What was there to prove? “Prove what Jabari?” I asked, as we made it to my car. He scanned the parking lot, then looked back at me.
“Find out where that nigga stash spot at. Help me hit that nigga!”
My mouth fell open. I couldn’t believe that he would ask me to set Wise up. He was trying to play with both of our lives, and I didn’t know what to say.
Chapter Eight
Wise
Milan played the fuck out of me, and she did it in front of everybody. I was tired of the emotional shit that came along with fucking with her. I cared to much and she made me feel like a sucka’ ass nigga every time I ended up expecting too much from her. Quite frankly, I didn’t even know why I kept trying to fuck with her. I thought she had finally woken up, but I was wrong. I’m too old to be playing these childish ass games with her. I let out a sigh as I walked into my crib. All the lights were out which meant that my girlfriend, Sasha, and my daughter was sleep.
Sasha and I had been on the outs for the past two years. She started pulling away and I let her. My heart wasn’t there and I knew that I wasn’t trying to wife her. I had been with her for close to six years and she was good with my daughter, so I kept her around. I had Melanie since she was a couple of weeks old. Me and her mom decided that it was best that I kept her. I was a dog for no reason at all back in the day, and it caused me to lose the best thing to ever happen to me.
I had to force myself to push the drama with these females to the back of my head as I thought about Jabari. I would look like a clown if I let him get away with pointing a gun at me. I worked too hard to create my position in these streets, and I’ll be damned if I allowed a nigga to think that he could get down on me.
I walked into the living room, and relaxed on the couch. Then, I began to pull on the hairs of my beard. For some reason, Milan kept running through my mind.
I thought about the day that I first met her. She was a sophomore in high school and I was a senior. All the niggas in the school were checkin’ for her. I swear, she was the flyest ma’fucka up in that bitch, and I was that nigga, so it was only right that I snatched her ass up.
Being that Carter had just put me on, I was getting hella’ money and all the little broads used to sweat me, so I was used to them gold diggin’ broads. But Milan was different. Her people had money… a whole lot of that shit, so my paper was nothing to her.
We just clicked on some other shit; our chemistry was crazy. Milan was my baby. But, I was young and dumb back then. It was too many broads throwing the pussy at me. She couldn’t take it and she dipped on my ass. The day she left was the worst day of my life. The look on her face told me that I had lost her for good.
Fuck! I needed to get her out of my system. But how could I when she was Melanie’s mother,
and looking into my daughter’s face was like looking at Milan every day. Melanie was ten now and she was starting to look just like her ass. She made the same faces and all. That’s what pissed me off, I had her heart first, yet she was continuing to put punk ass Jabari before me!
Chapter Nine
Milan
When we got to the house, I had forgotten that I cut up and bleached all of Jabari’s shit. So I was just as surprised as he was when we walked into the mess. The smell of bleach was still strong in the air.
Jabari shot me daggers. “You fucked my shit up? I’m gone kill yo’ ass!” He stalked toward me and I took off running to the bathroom. I was happy that his speed was slowed down from that ass whooping that he took.
I made it to the bathroom and locked the door. Seconds later, he began to beat on it. ‘Don’t run now, open this damn door Milan!” He yelled.
“No! Gone somewhere Jabari!” I yelled back, leaning against the wall and sliding to the ground.
Jabari slammed his fist into the door with so much force that I’m surprised it didn’t create a hole, then I heard footsteps. I began to sigh, thinking about the bullshit that I went through with him. I was so sick of the cheating, the disrespect, and having to take care of his grown ass after all the bullshit. It wasn’t worth it. I truly loved Jabari, but the headache was way too much. He wasn’t the same man that I fell in love with before he went to prison.
It was never this bad with Wise. He hurt me, but he always made sure that home was taken care of. Hell, he was my best friend and I had been missing our companionship so much lately.
Jabari had only been home for a year now, and it was hell. I had fallen for Wise all over again in the time that he was locked up. Wise changed, he had grown up from the little boy that I dated over a decade ago and I adored the way that he took care of Melanie without holding my faults against me. But, it was always about punk ass Jabari! I hated the way my loyalty was set up.
After a few minutes, I finally decided to leave out of the bathroom, thinking that Jabari had calmed down. I opened the door and made my way down the hallway toward my bedroom. It seemed as if Jabari came out of nowhere. His huge frame jumped in my face, with those dark eyes, and my heart nearly left my chest, as he grabbed me up and slammed me against the wall.
“Oh you owe me for real now. So what the fuck is it gone be? Are you going to get this nigga, or am I going to have to fuck both of y’all up?” Jabari asked, gripping me by my shirt, as he spoke through gritted teeth.
I had never seen this side of him and it was starting to scare me.
A tear slid down my face, yet again. I had been doing a lot of crying today and I was emotionally drained.
“Why are you doing me like this, Jabari? And what did Wise ever do to you to be pointing guns at him, and wanting to rob him?” I regretted mentioning Wise’s name the moment those words left my lips. The look Jabari gave me spoke volumes. He gripped me tighter and pressed his knuckles into my chest.
“You still taking up for that fuck nigga, Milan?” He asked, bawling up his fist and punching the wall beside me. I jumped, then calmed down a bit when I realized that he hit the wall instead of me.
“No, I’m not taking up for him! I just want you to think about what you want me to do. Wise isn’t just some random nigga on the streets. He has a whole army behind him!” I tried reasoning with Jabari. I wanted to add in the fact that Wise was my baby father and that I loved him. But Jabari would kill my ass for real. Melanie was a secret that I had to keep locked away until I finally found the strength to leave.
A part of me began to wonder where I had fucked up in life to end up with such bad choices in men. I would have never guessed that Jabari was a fucking lunatic. I should have been left him like Wise used to tell me. I always thought that Wise just said slick shit about Jabari because he was jealous. Plus, with the way that Wise used to lie and cheat on me, his credibility wasn’t the best.
“Fuck Wise and his people! That’s why yo’ ass gone make him let his guard down and I’m gone handle his punk ass from there.” He rubbed his swollen lip, releasing his grip from my shirt. “You know, I always knew that nigga was feeling you. I saw the look in his eyes. But, I thought you was a loyal bitch. I would have never thought that you would fuck with him.” He looked at me disgustedly, but I didn’t pay him no mind. I was just glad that he let me go, and now I was going to say anything, just to shut his crazy ass up. However, I knew that I had to get the hell away from him.
“Ok, I’ll do it. I don’t want to fight with you Jabari.” I sighed, running my fingers through my hair to move it out of my face. “You’re scaring me.” I added truthfully.
“Yo’ ass need to be scared. Obviously you done lost yo’ damn mind, smiling all up in that man’s face, and you went into the back room with him. Did you fuck him?” Jabari growled, reaching at my dress. He pulled me to him and tried lifting it.
I looked at him like he had lost his mind. “What are you doing Jabari? Stop!” I swatted his hand away.
“Did you fuck him, Milan? Did you give him my pussy?” He asked, using his strength to overpower me. He ripped my panties off, and snatched up my dress.
“No!” I shrieked. “I’m not a hoe. I haven’t fucked no one else since we’ve been together!” Well it was almost the truth. Wise and I slipped up a few times while he was locked up, but that was it. With Jabari being gone for four years, Ms. Kitty needed some attention and Wise was saying all the right things, and touching all the right places… physically and mentally. Our chemistry was amazing, but neither of us wanted to cross that bridge again. But, ever since Jabari came back home from prison, he had began to express his feeling, and now he was on some leave your man and let’s be a family type shit.
I was seriously contemplating it. My kids already adored Wise just as much as I did, and I’d give anything to have that mother daughter bond with Melanie.
“Let me smell it then.” Jabari demanded, snapping me from my thoughts, as he kneeled down and placed his face between my legs. Before I knew it, his tongue slid across my clit, causing me to jump. He began to suck on my pearl, and as much as I didn’t want to enjoy it, a moan escaped my lips that I couldn’t control. “My bad baby. You know you make me crazy. I love the fuck out of you, and once we hit this lick, we gone be set forever. You’ll never have to worry about shit!” He whispered into my sweetness, using his tongue to create magic between my thighs.
My emotions were all over the place, and Jabari wasn’t fighting fair. His head game was lethal and he knew it. Gosh! I’m so stupid, but I couldn’t turn back now.
How could I let Jabari finesse me into not caring about the fact that he had another baby on me? How could I allow him to think that everything was okay? A moan escaped my lips, as a tingling sensation began to flow through my body. His tongue was pressed firm on my clit, and he began to sloppily suck on it. I was never going to get away from Jabari’s hold!
***
Jabari fucked me to sleep and I woke up the next morning entangled in his arms. I stared at him, taking in his caramel skin as he slept. There was no secret that Jabari was fine as hell. I mean, the site of him would get any woman wet, yet his ways were ugly and I couldn’t help the frown that spread across my face. I wanted to take the lamp next to me on the nightstand and smash it across his head. I hated him so much, yet I loved him just as much.
I needed to get away to clear my head. Jabari was going to have me going crazy. I tip-toed around the room, grabbing a couple of outfits, careful not to make too much noise. I was going to go to my mother’s house for a few days, and I needed to call Wise too.
He was on my mind all night, and if Jabari’s crazy ass hadn’t of held me hostage, I would have been able to call him and at least apologize. He just didn’t understand my situation, and he never would as long as I wasn’t with him.
“Where you going?” Jabari’s groggy voice startled me. I looked back and he was stretching, trying to get up. “Fuck!” He groaned. �
�My body sore as fuck. Go get me a Tylenol out the cabinet,” Jabari demanded.
I studied him for a second before putting my bag over my shoulder and walking out of the room. I told him that I would get the Tylenol, but fuck this, I wasn’t getting Jabari shit. This was my escape. I grabbed my purse and car keys, then I eased out of the house with the quickness.
I knew that Jabari was going to be pissed, but I didn’t care. He wasn’t thinking right. I didn’t know the crazy ass Jabari that I left back in the house, and I didn’t like the new him one bit.
As soon as I pulled out the driveway, I called Wise. He sent me to the voicemail, so I dialed him again. I didn’t know what I wanted to say to him, but I needed to hear his voice.
Six calls later, he finally answered. “Why you keep calling my fucking phone Milan? Go be with that punk ass nigga that fuck over you and leave me the hell alone. You don’t want a nigga to treat you right!”
I sighed, “You know that’s not true, Wise. I care about you!”
I heard him kiss his teeth. “Man, you don’t care about nobody but yo’self. That’s why Melanie walking around without a mother.”
Wise’s words cut deep. He had never thrown that in my face. “That was low. You know that I would have taken her if I could do it by myself. I was sixteen, Wise!” I yelled, getting choked up. I wanted to tell him about me leaving Jabari, and that I finally wanted us. But he was being so evil that I couldn’t form the words. There was a long pause before he spoke again.
“My bad Milan. You know I would never throw that in your face. But, let’s stop pretending. Just go be happy with that nigga. Let me move on. I can’t keep setting myself up for failure.” With that, he hung up, and I cried like a baby. Wise didn’t want me anymore!
Chapter Ten