Fiercely Emma: Cake Series Book Three

by J. Bengtsson

  By the time we’d made it into the living room, Keith was already picking items off my coffee table and rearranging them, something he did strictly because he knew it annoyed me. I purposely ignored his nettling.

  “So how was work?” he asked.

  “Actually, pretty good… only three death threats against me yesterday.”

  “Well, now we’re talking.” Keith nodded his approval and then gave me a high five. “Nice job, Emma.”

  “Thanks. It feels good to be so loved.”

  “I’m sure.” Keith handed me the bag of fruit he was still carrying. “Mom told me to give these to you.”

  “Oh, yay. I’m going to make fresh-squeezed orange juice later.”

  “Oh, yay!” he mimicked in a girly voice, and then took it a step further by throwing his hands up in a gleeful display of faked happiness. “Nice to see you’ve got big plans tonight.”

  “Oh, shit!” I exclaimed, suddenly remembering my evening with Casey. “Never mind. I’ll have to squeeze the citrus on another night.”

  “So you do have plans?” Keith raised an eyebrow suggestively. “A hot date?”

  “Yep. With a girl.”

  “All right. Uh huh, a bit of girl-on-girl action never hurt anyone. Oh, hold on… now all I can picture is your face in the equation. Thanks for ruining the fantasy for me.”

  “Shut up. It’s with Casey, you creep.”

  “Huh. Casey, you say?” He grinned.

  “Keith!” I slapped him in the arm. “Do not let Jake know you’re lusting after his girl.”

  “Not lusting… just appreciative. I’m a guy. Our eyes are genetically engineered to admire attractive women. It all stems back to the caveman days.”

  “Somehow I feel your logic is wrong on this, but I’m going to cut you some slack because I know your elevator doesn’t stop on every floor.”

  Not even the least bit offended, Keith nodded his agreement as he continued his exploration of my belongings. Picking up a colorful porcelain origami crane, Keith examined it before making a face and asking, “Why do you need this?”

  “I don’t. I just like it. Put it back.”

  He didn’t, instead pretending to make it fly.

  I snatched my crane from his hand and returned it to the shelf. “No touching.”

  “You know, Jake getting married still freaks me out a little bit,” Keith said, without taking his eyes off the damn crane. Move along, buddy. “I mean, what are the chances that out of all of us, Jake would be the first to marry?”

  “He wouldn’t be if you’d gotten your act together sooner.”

  Keith picked up the crane again and held it out in front of him, threatening to drop it. “Take it back,” he demanded. “Take it back or the bird dies.”

  He’d just been waiting for the opportunity to murder my crane. I lunged for it but Keith was too quick, deftly skirting the breakable bird behind his back before I could save it. “All I’m saying…” – he stopped mid-sentence to smirk at my pathetic rescue efforts – “is ten years ago I thought Jake would be drooling in a mental hospital right about now, but look at him. Our little psycho has grown up.”

  “Keith,” I said, shaming him with my disapproval. “Could you be any more politically incorrect?”

  “What? He doesn’t care. I call him that all the time.”

  “No, you don’t, because if you did, he’d beat the shit out of you on a regular basis.”

  “Please. Jake’s got nothing on me.”

  “You’re right. You’re so much better than him in every way. Can I have my crane back?”

  “Now was that so hard?” Keith asked in a condescending manner, grinning as he replaced the bird.

  It might seem that his assessment of our little brother’s state of mind back then was overly harsh, but then you wouldn’t know the full story. Jake was a mess, and no one, not even he, denied it.

  “I guess it goes to show what finding love can do for a person.”

  “I guess,” he said.

  “You guess?”

  “I mean, come on, Emma. You have to give credit where credit’s due. Casey might have changed Jake for the better, but we both know who saved him.”

  I shrugged.

  Keith shook his head. “You never give her any credit, do you?”

  “I know what Mom did for him,” I said. “I don’t need you reminding me.”

  Keith put his hands up in submission, my snappy tone not escaping him. “Forget I said anything.”

  I realized I was being too sensitive, but even after all these years, the subject of Jake’s kidnapping and the horrific aftermath still had adverse affects on me. Although I loved my mother to death and credited her with keeping our family intact, she and I had a complicated relationship, one that could not be explained in a simplistic exchange with my brother.

  The great thing about Keith was that he didn’t linger too long on deep thoughts. In fact, the minute he detected my shifting mood, he changed the subject by walking over to my couch and picking up a glove with little spikes on it. One brow arched in question as he held it up and made spanking motions with it. “Do I even want to know what this is used for?”

  “It’s to prevent hairballs,” I said.

  The blank look on his face forced me to clarify. “For Cynthia.”

  “Oh, right,” he said, grinning mischievously as he elongated my cat’s name. “Cyn-thi-a.”

  Keith tossed the offending glove back where it came from. “Where is that sexually disoriented cat of yours, anyway?”

  “He’s still in the closet, I think.”

  “I don’t doubt it.”

  I couldn’t help but giggle. “No, literally. I was going through my clothes.”

  “Oh, good.”

  I tensed, glaring at my brother. “What does that mean?”

  His eyes expanded as he realized his mistake. “Nothing. I didn’t say anything.”

  “Yes, you did. You don’t like my clothes?”

  “They’re fine.”

  “Fine?” My voice rose in accusation.

  Keith grimaced when he realized he wasn’t getting out of the shitstorm he’d just created. “Maybe they’re a tad bland, is all.”

  “Bland? Well, duh… I wear scrubs all day.”

  “Actually, Em, your scrubs are the best part of your wardrobe. I was talking about everything else. I mean, you’ve got a decent body – for a sister, I guess – but you dress like a schoolteacher,” he said, before adding, “…and not the Van Halen ‘hot for teacher’ kind.”

  “Thanks for clarifying.” I offered up my most menacing scowl.

  But instead of taking the hint, he just kept going. “You have a more, ‘Students, I go home after class and play with my cat’ type of a vibe.”

  “Yeah, I get it Keith. I’m a boring cat lady. As if that hasn’t been played to death in our family.” I waved him off. “What about you? How are you enjoying Mom and Dad’s house?”

  Now it was Keith’s turn to glare at me. Okay, admittedly it was a low blow. He and his girlfriend of six years had recently split, and he’d moved out of their apartment and into our parents place a little over a month ago.

  “You just had to go there, didn’t you?”

  “What? I’m simply being conversational.” I feigned innocence.

  “It’s a big house, Emma. I’m fine.”

  “And Sam? How’s she doing?”

  “I wouldn’t know,” Keith said curtly. “Ask her.”

  “So still no communication?”

  My brother headed for the door, ignoring my question completely.

  “I just thought the two of you would work it out.”

  “Well, you thought wrong. Sam and I aren’t together anymore. End of story.” His tone was short and snippy, but something in the way he said the words made me think he had only just recently realized what he’d lost in her.

  “Okay,” I mouthed, raising my brows as I silently mocked his attitude.

  “You kn
ow the best part about not having a girlfriend?”

  “What?” Leave it to Keith to find the positive in his obvious heartbreak.

  “I can finally take advantage of Jake’s fame this weekend. Cool music, hot chicks, free liquor…”

  “Name-dropping your rock star brother,” I added.

  “Of course.” He grinned. “That’s the best part. The women will be stripping off their clothes as they come running.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Don’t uh-huh me. I’m the full package: single, hot, and I live with my parents.”

  “Wow, you’re going to be beating them off.”

  And, honestly, he probably would be. Attracting females had never been a problem for my older brother. He had a charm to him that was apparently hard to resist.

  “You know I will.” He smiled, pretending to swing a bat. “You want my advice, Em?”

  “Nope.”

  “Have a little fun this weekend.”

  “I said I didn’t want your advice.”

  “When was the last time you went out? Oh wait… never,” Keith said, ignoring my protest. “Do yourself a favor. Kick back this weekend. Let your bun down.”

  “Um… I don’t wear my hair up in buns.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “Actually, I don’t.”

  “You’re so tense all the time. Let loose a little. Hang with some wild drummer. Pound the liquor.”

  “None of this sounds like good, solid advice, Keith.”

  “And good god, Em, go buy yourself some new clothes that aren’t out of the men’s department.”

  “Can I ask you a question?” Casey’s sunny demeanor turned instantly serious, and I felt my stomach do a nervous little flip. Up to this point our shopping trip had been fun and light-hearted. I’d even go as far as to say she might have actually changed my mind about visits to the mall. I’d found three awesome outfits with Casey’s help and was feeling pretty good about our connection. Jake would be pleased.

  But then, out of the blue, she changed the rules of the game, and my mood turned instantly sour. “Okay, what?”

  “Why are you alone?”

  It took effort to force my face to stay neutral when, in reality, I wanted to blast obscenities at her. Why I was alone was none of her damn business.

  “You’re a beautiful woman… smart and successful. Men fall all over you. I mean, you could have anyone you wanted. So why don’t you?”

  Oh, she was going right for the jugular, the answer to her question hitting to the very core of who I was as a person. Certainly I wouldn’t be discussing my hang-ups with the world’s most perfect woman.

  “I guess I just haven’t found the right guy.” I shrugged, hoping she’d take the hint, all the while knowing Casey wasn’t the type to let things lie.

  “Are you looking?”

  “Why do you care?”

  Casey appeared startled by the hostility in my voice, but she bravely held my glare. In that moment, I knew. She and Jake had been discussing me, and for whatever reason, that was infuriating. It was like Jake went and got himself engaged and then immediately turned traitor. My issues were not his to share, especially seeing as I’d spent my life safeguarding his.

  “Why? What has he told you?” I asked, looking away in irritation.

  “Please don’t be mad. I’m just trying to understand you better.”

  That was the wrong thing to say. Now I was really pissed. “You don’t think I know that you and Jake are having little powwow sessions about me? I’m telling you now: stop it.”

  Casey raised her brows. “Wow.”

  “Wow, what?” I asked, grumbling.

  “Sensitive subject. Sorry I said anything.”

  I didn’t care for the tone. She was the one who’d brought it up, and if she didn’t like the response, well, too damn bad. “Not everyone is you, Casey. Not everyone gets the fairytale.”

  She looked away and silence ensued. If Jake wanted me to work harder with his fiancee, then he’d better stop throwing me under the bus with her. He was going to get a swift talking to this weekend.

  “You know,” Casey started, but then the words stopped suddenly. She placed her hand over her heart, looking up at the ceiling as emotion played out over her face. “If you mean fairytale in the sense that I found the man I love more than life itself, then yes, I would have to agree with you. But if you mean fairytale in that everything is always perfectly perfect… well, then, you don’t know your brother as well as you claim to.”

  Her words hit me. Of course I knew Jake had issues, but for whatever reason, I guess I didn’t see them spilling out into his relationship with her. Certainly they’d always portrayed their unity as near perfection, and her confession both surprised and intrigued me. “Are you and Jake having problems?”

  “You first.”

  “What?”

  “You answer my question and I’ll answer yours.” Casey sat back in her seat and crossed her arms in front of her. “Why don’t you date?”

  We stared each other down. Oh, she was good. For the first time, I was seeing this girl in a different light. Something told me she was stronger than I’d ever given her credit for. I contemplated how to answer her question but then opted for full disclosure.

  “I don’t want to get married.”

  “Ever?”

  “No.”

  “Why?”

  “Your turn. Are you and Jake having problems?”

  “Not problems, necessarily.” Casey sighed heavily. I could clearly see the weight bogging her down. How had I not detected it earlier? “I’m just worried about him. I’m going to tell you something, but it’s just between the two of us, okay?”

  I nodded, leaning in.

  “He stopped seeing the therapist a while back.”

  The information surprised me. Jake had seemed so positive about the sessions. Why would he stop going just when he was seeing results?

  “Your turn,” Casey said, a smile forming on her face.

  I smiled back. It was as if we’d come to an understanding. We were on a level playing field, both carrying secrets the other wanted to know.

  “I don’t want to get married and have kids because I already basically raised two, and I have no need for more.”

  It was a lie, but she didn’t need to know everything.

  Casey seemed to consider what I said, and then nodded like she didn’t quite believe me.

  “Jake told me you had a lot of responsibility. He feels bad that you had to pick up the slack because of him.”

  “He said that?” I whispered, heaviness tugging at my heart. I always hated when he blamed himself for the things he’d had no control over. “It wasn’t his fault.”

  “Well, Jake carries a lot of regrets.”

  “Why did he stop seeing the therapist?” I asked.

  “All he said was that he didn’t feel comfortable going anymore. It was weird because it happened so suddenly. One minute he was totally positive about the progress he was making, and the next, he refused to go back.”

  “When did this happen?”

  “A couple of weeks ago.”

  Dammit. Now I was worried. When Jake retreated too deeply into his own mind, things got hairy. Did Casey understand this? Could she handle the fallout? Perhaps sensing my concern, she reached over the table to cup my hand.

  “It’s true. I have been asking Jake questions about you, and, yes, I did ask him to broker this meeting, but it’s not because he and I are ganging up on you. I genuinely want to get to know you better. I’ve never had a sister, and I really want to have that close relationship with you… but I also need you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you know Jake… maybe better than anyone.”

  I scoffed. “No, I’m thinking you do.”

  Casey slowly lifted her head, leveling her serious eyes to challenge mine. “Who is Glen?”

  It was a gut punch of a question that took my breath away. I had to think.
What had Jake told her? What could I say about Glen? Nothing, that’s what.

  “How do you know about Glen?”

  My quivering voice was enough for Casey to drop her own to a near whisper.

  “He has notebooks filled with songs in the music room. They’re just lying in an unlocked drawer. If they were private, why would he have them in such an open place, right?”

  “They’re in a drawer. I’d hardly call that open.”

  “That’s not really the point now, is it?”

  “Okay, so I take it that you read them.”

  She nodded, a guilty pout puckering her lips.

  I would have liked to lambast her for snooping into Jake’s personal property, but I was too anxious for an answer to the Glen question to wait.

  “This one notebook was pretty old and worn, like he’d spent a lot of time working in it. The writing was dark and chilling; not the stuff he sings up on stage nowadays. I knew immediately these were his private thoughts about the kidnapping.”

  “And you didn’t shut the notebook and put it back? You know damn well he wouldn’t want you reading it.”

  “I couldn’t help myself. I’m not proud of what I did, but now I’ve read things that I can’t unread. This one song was about Jake watching something bad happen to someone else. He didn’t go into specifics. It was more his own feelings about what happened. At first I thought it might have been written about Ray, but then it became clear that Jake seemed to care about whoever this person was. Here’s where you come in… at the end of the song was a note in his handwriting that said, ‘Never should have told Emma about Glen.’”

  Yes, he should have.

  Suddenly I was burning up, my cheeks hot and flushed. Upon seeing my horrified expression, Casey sat back, looking somewhat stunned herself. “Jesus, Emma, what happened to Glen? Who was he to Jake?”

  Everything.

  I hadn’t realized tears were rolling down my cheeks until Casey dabbed them with a napkin.

  “Oh, god, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  My sudden waterworks weren’t about being hurt, they were about getting caught with a secret and feeling as though I’d been the one who’d blabbed it. Rest assured, my loyalty was absolute. I’d held his truths in silence all these years. In fact, up until just now, I wasn’t even sure Jake remembered telling me about Glen, as we’d never discussed it since. He’d been in a terrible state of mind, ready to end it all. That secret needed to come out, and even though it broke my heart, I listened. I like to think I absorbed some of the pain for him… so that he could go on living.