Fiercely Emma: Cake Series Book Three

by J. Bengtsson

  I glanced to my right, and Casey, her worried eyes searching me for answers, mouthed, “Are you okay?”

  Disappointed in myself, I shook my head and held her eye.

  “I’ll be back in a minute.” Casey hopped from her chair. “I need to use the bathroom.”

  She grabbed my hand and pulled me from my seat. “So does Emma.”

  Our bare feet padded across the tiled floor, and I couldn’t help but fixate on how much flappier mine sounded than hers. I just could not catch a break, could I? Even my footsteps were less perfect than hers.

  “You okay? What’s going on?” she whispered, before we’d even made it to the restroom.

  I genuinely had no idea how to answer her question. Technically, I was fine. Better than fine, really. I’d met a man who’d inexplicably woken me from a ten-year slumber and had proven to me that I was still young and sexy and alive. In return I’d rewarded Finn by draping myself all over him and taking pleasure in what he had to offer. Yes, that part was fine.

  But then, I wasn’t fine, because now I feared that once my eyes had been opened, I’d never be able to close them again. How could I explain to Casey that I’d felt something last night that I hadn’t known I could feel, yet still I was reluctant to go forward with him? She could never understand the invisible ties that held me back.

  “Is this about Finn? In a concerted effort not to sound like Michelle, I saw the way you two looked at each other last night. It was electric. Who exactly is he? Jake thinks you just met him yesterday.”

  “Why? What did he say?”

  “Just that you asked for the ticket at the last minute, and you made some joke about just picking him up off the side of the road or something.”

  “Damn, he’s good,” I said, shaking my head. Maybe because he was such an introspective person, Jake had an uncanny ability to read just about any situation. Or maybe I was just completely see-through to him.

  “Are you saying he’s right?” Casey asked, giggling.

  “I literally cased Finn out in a parking lot, while drooling over his behind.”

  “No!” Casey gasped, smacking me. “I love it. Way to go, girl.”

  “Yeah. Not so ‘way to go.’ Now Mom thinks we’re getting married or something. I should never have brought him around this morning. It was a mistake. I wasn’t thinking.”

  “That’s just it, Emma, you weren’t thinking – because you were feeling. Last night you allowed yourself to react. And now you’re second-guessing that decision and ripping your mom’s head off in the process.”

  “Don’t remind me. I’ll apologize to her when we get back.”

  “That’s not the point of this bathroom counseling session. Sure, you need to say you’re sorry to Michelle, but more importantly you need to stop being so rational all the time. If you like him, let him know. After I got over the shock of meeting Jake and just started talking to him, good lord, I was making out with him all over the place.”

  “Ew, he’s my brother. Please.”

  “Sorry.” She laughed. “I’m just saying he had me all hot and bothered. That kind of attraction doesn’t come around every day, so if Finn does that for you, you owe it to yourself to find out why.”

  “I guess,” I mumbled.

  “No. I don’t accept that answer,” Casey said, flashing me the affecting smile that no doubt brought Jake to his knees.

  “What answer will you accept?” I lamented, flustered by her gushing cuteness. Maybe this was why I didn’t have female friends. All they wanted to talk about was feelings and having sex with my brother.

  After giving Casey her required ‘Yes, ma’am,’ I walked back into the spa room with my tail between my moisturized legs. I immediately went to my mother and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I stopped short of a verbal apology because she really did have the snippy beatdown coming.

  Mom beamed with delight at my repentance, and all was forgiven. Amazing. That’s why she was a mom and I was not. I wasn’t sure I’d have the patience and understanding to deal with a bitch like me.

  During the massage, I allowed my mind to wander back to the early morning hours when I was getting a rubdown of a very different sort. I really hadn’t planned on any of it. He was supposed to stay on the damn couch, but of course, nothing ever seemed to follow a pattern with Finn. The dude was acting perfectly fine, carrying me around the carnival like I was a ragdoll, and then, all of a sudden, when it was time for bed, his ribs start breaking right and left? I mean, really?

  It was his unpredictability that drove me crazy and forced stupid decisions, like inviting him for breakfast. I still didn’t know how that happened. When I’d woken him up this morning, I’d had every intention of shooing him from my room. He was a stray pup who’d worn out his welcome, but one smile, one tease, one touch of his sweaty hand and I was falling all over myself to parade him in front of my family.

  Of course my mother would fall for him, what with all his ‘mom whisperer’ skills. Plus it didn’t hurt that he was single and beautiful… and single.

  And of course my dad would fall under his spell as well because Finn was witty and fun, and it was to be expected that he’d want to spend one of his many birthday days with a guy like that.

  This whole scenario was just too dangerous. The more time he spent out of his kennel, the more attached they’d all become. Before I knew it, he’d have a spot on my couch and be swiping food off the counter. Regardless of what Casey said about opening myself up to possibilities, I simply could not trust myself around Finn, and for that reason he needed to go. As soon as we got to the venue, I’d pull him aside and let him know he wouldn’t be sharing my bed tonight no matter how charming and gorgeous he tried to be. From this point forth, I was putting myself back in charge, and that meant no sappy feelings for me until I was sure Finn was gone for good.

  When the girls and I arrived at the fairgrounds later in the afternoon, all relaxed and smelling like we’d been rotated in lavender, my focus was clear: find Finn. But when we arrived at the main stage and headed around back, we found Jake and Kyle, but no Dad, no Keith, and no Quinn. Oh, crap. Were they taking Finn for a walk around the block? Just exactly how much bonding had he managed to get in with the males in my family, while I’d been at the spa thinking of ways to dump him?

  Jake was busy, so I went to Kyle for the scoop.

  He perked up when he saw me coming. “Oh my god.” Kyle fussed with an exaggerated wave of his hand. “Look at you! Was anyone else hurt in the accident?”

  I fought the urge to laugh… or whack him in the nuts. Each would have been equally satisfying, but once I lost control, he would win, and that was not an option. “You know, Kyle, somewhere out there is a sad little tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can continue breathing. I think you owe it an apology.”

  He nodded, pleased with my comeback, and shot one right back at me.

  “I love what you’ve done with your hair, Em. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?”

  “It really is extraordinary,” I countered. “100,000 sperm and you were the fastest swimmer.”

  We grinned at one another for a couple of seconds before Kyle relented. “Well, I think I’m good now. What about you?”

  “Yep, got it out of my system,” I agreed.

  “Excellent. It’s been fun. So to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”

  “Do you know where Finn is?”

  “Finn?” He feigned ignorance. “Oh, you mean the guy dad did the old magic flossing tongue trick on?”

  “He didn’t!”

  Just because it was his birthday week didn’t give my father the right to perform magic.

  “Oh, but he did.” Kyle nodded his approval.

  “Dammit. I just don’t get it. Does he carry dental floss around in his pocket for just such an occasion?”

  “I don’t know, but after he had successfully tied the floss with his tongue, your Spiderman raised the bar and did this whole climb
ing up the wall thing, and it was bad ass. I think I might have peed myself a little bit.”

  “He climbed a wall?”

  “Really, Emma, he’s much too cool for you.”

  “Yeah, well, don’t get used to his awesomeness. He won’t be around long enough for it to rub off on you.”

  “Wait – why would you want to get rid of him? I’d think you’d want someone around who made you look less like a dork.”

  “Just because you’ve got a guy boner for him doesn’t mean he’s the right one for me.”

  “I don’t want to say beggars can’t be choosers, but in this particular case, Em, beggars can definitely not be choosers.”

  “I’m no beggar, Kyle. You should know that by now.”

  “Well, then, you’re an idiot. I’d date him if he was a girl, and, you know, if I didn’t have a girlfriend. Wait – if I was a girl, I’d have a boyfriend, right?” Kyle stopped, wrinkling his brows as he looked up at the ceiling trying to figure out the complex thoughts running through his head. “Nope, I’ve got nothing.”

  “I didn’t think so. Just please don’t get too attached. Finn will be headed to his new forever home by morning.”

  “Emma!”

  Jake was with a crowd of people when he motioned for me to meet him at his dressing room. As he started moving in that direction, the group moved with him.

  “Just give me a few minutes,” he said to his flock before leading me through the door and shutting it on a half a dozen bodies, effectively detaching himself from the needy gaggle of people waiting impatiently on the other side. Once free, Jake slumped against the door and visibly exhaled. It was a wonder how he handled the pressure. I’d always fancied myself to be cool under fire, but I’m not sure I could shoulder such responsibly without breaking.

  “Jesus,” he muttered. “They’re like locusts.”

  “So what’s up?” I asked, although I knew full well why he’d called me in, and it wasn’t for altruistic reasons. He wanted the scoop, and by the look on his face, he could hardly wait to roll up his sleeves and play in the dirt.

  “So… Finn, huh?” The corner of his mouth turned up ever so slightly.

  “Yep.”

  “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

  “Not really. Oh, wait. Thanks for getting him the ticket, and for arranging it last minute. “

  “Uh-huh.” Jake’s head was tilted slightly, and the look he gave told me he wanted more than that.

  “What?” I demanded, grinning.

  “Where did you really meet him? Because you and I both know it wasn’t at a party.”

  “You have no idea what I do on my personal time, so don’t presume.”

  But Jake wasn’t having it. According to Casey, he’d already pieced it all together. Why had I chosen a party in the first place? Everyone knew I didn’t step foot in them. Dammit, I should have picked a more realistic place to fake-meet Finn, like a ventriloquist convention.

  “I’m starting to wonder if you actually did pick him up on the side of the road.”

  As much as I wanted to protest his ridiculously accurate take on yesterday’s events, I couldn’t fight the smile that was forcing its way out of my tightly controlled grimace.

  “Am I right?” He laughed, pointing at me. “Emma!?”

  “All right, shut up, and I swear I’ll kill you if you tell anyone.”

  “I… you… how?” Jake stammered, still too shocked to form actual words.

  “His truck broke down at a diner. I helped him out, and we hit it off. End of story.”

  “Oh, no. Definitely not the end of the story. I mean, you actually brought him to breakfast… to Dad’s birthday breakfast no less. And Mom thinks he’s the one.” Jake laughed at the absurdity of it all.

  “You know what annoys me most? She always acts so guarded with women who like her sons, but with me, any old drifter off the street will do.”

  “Like Finn, for instance.” He chortled, finding so much more amusement in this than I did.

  “It might as well have been Mom’s birthday by the way she was carrying on like that. Poor Finn. How embarrassing.”

  “I don’t think he was embarrassed at all. He was having a great time today. The dude climbs walls, Emma.”

  “So I’ve heard. What else did you boys do with him?”

  “Well, I didn’t have all that much time to spend with him, but for the portion I was there, Finn served as our tour guide. He scored Dad a whole buttload of free shit, after which he declared today to be the best day of his birthday week so far.”

  “Wow, the best? That’s saying something.”

  “Anyway, I like him. Finn seems like a good guy.”

  “A good guy I met on the side of the road.”

  “So what? Everyone has to meet somehow. Imagine the story you could tell your kids.”

  “That will not be happening. It’s one day. That’s all. And then he’ll be gone.”

  “And Finn is fine with that?”

  “It doesn’t matter what he’s fine with. The decision’s mine. I don’t want to talk about Finn anymore. I want to talk about something way more interesting.”

  “Is there anything more interesting than the first guy you’ve introduced to the family in like forever?”

  “Please – you’re always the most interesting person in the room. Anyway, I had a nice time with Casey the other night.”

  “Yeah, so I heard,” he said, sinking down into a chair and stretching out.

  That turned my senses on high alert. “Why? What did you hear?”

  “Nothing. She said she had a good time too. Jesus. Why are you always so suspicious?”

  “Maybe because I got the distinct impression the two of you have been having in-depth conversations about me.”

  “Huh, really?”

  “Stop playing dumb… I don’t appreciate it, okay? Just because you two are stupidly happy doesn’t give you the right to push your agenda on the rest of us.”

  “My agenda?” He smirked. “I wasn’t aware I had one. Look, Casey and I have conversations. Can I help it if sometimes they include members of my family? Who else am I going to talk about?”

  “You’re a rock star, Jake, surely you have more exciting things to discuss than your older sister who lives with her gender-bending cat.”

  “Not anymore.” He laughed. “Not since you picked a stuntman off the side of the road and he started doing backflips in front of me.”

  “Backflips, too?” I complained. “He has broken ribs, Jesus!”

  “Really? Damn. Well, you couldn’t tell. He’s like a goddamn monkey. Never seen anyone who can do that shit. Gotta get him in my next video, no joke.”

  “And I’m sure he’d love it. Anyway, have a good laugh on my behalf, but if you want me to have a close relationship with your wife, then you need to stop psychoanalyzing me with her.”

  “I don’t even know what that means,” he said. “Stop talking like a therapist.”

  “Speaking of that… why aren’t you going to yours anymore?”

  My brother’s smile immediately faded, and he turned away. Tightness gripped my stomach. I’d wanted to bring it up in a tactful way, but instead just lobbed it straight in his face like a grenade. Sometimes I could be so insensitive.

  “Sorry. That was stupid.” I reached out to touch him, but he jumped up from his chair and moved away from me. “Jake? I’m sorry.”

  He shifted uneasily, keeping his gaze to the floor.

  “Forget I said anything. Please.”

  “If you must know,” he said, his voice a quiet rumbling, “the therapist went places I didn’t want to go.”

  “You’re there to talk about the kidnapping. I would think most places are places you don’t want to go.”

  “Yeah, well, some places are worse than others,” he acknowledged, not meeting my eyes. “I can only be pushed so far, Emma, and you know it.”

  “But isn’t that the purpose of therapy? If you’re only go
ing to talk about things you’re comfortable with, how much progress will you actually make?”

  “You’re talking about things you don’t understand.” He grimaced, catching my eye. “Did Casey ask you to have this conversation with me?”

  Casey asked me a lot more than that, buddy. You might be interested to know that she was also snooping into your most private thoughts and digging into things you definitely don’t want dug up. Of course, I kept those thoughts to myself. No way was I going to tangle myself up in their relationship. But I could and would answer his question, even if it was with a non-committal shrug of my shoulders.

  “Nice. Is she going around soliciting advice from all my relatives now?”

  “I think it was just me. She’s really worried about you.”

  My brother paused, ran his fingers through his hair, exhaled, and then did it all again. I wasn’t sure if he was hyperventilating or trying to get his facts straight. Either way, I understood that the reasoning behind his exit from therapy ran deep, and a casual conversation like this would not reveal why.

  “You need to talk to her. She loves you, Jake, and would never judge you for things that were out of your control.”

  “If I could have that discussion, don’t you think I would?”

  “Hence the need for therapy.”

  “I’ve managed fine without it all these years, and I’ll do the same now.”

  “And when baby makes three… what then?”

  Jake paused, obviously not expecting me to go there. Cursing under his breath, he said, “Just because you got something out of me once doesn’t make you my confidant, Emma. Back off!”

  The warning in his words was fierce enough that it stopped the conversation dead. Both of us stood there awkwardly for a moment, and I wracked my brain for something to turn this conversation around. All I had to offer up was my apology… and Finn.

  “I’m sorry. I should never have brought it up.”

  “No, you shouldn’t have. Dammit, Emma. I have those people out there waiting for me, and now you have me all worked up.”