Crashing Into Tess (The McGreers)

by Christine, Lilly

  They ate and tidied up quickly. While Alice pulled on a blonde wig in front of her dresser, Tess climbed into a one piece white flannel pajama she’d ordered. Buttoning up the front, she said, “Hah, I can wear this next year, too Alice. You can be Ahab, and I’ll be the whale!”

  “Oh, you look cute, Tess! I hope you’re here, next year.” Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, Tess positioned the headband with bunny ears, put lipstick on her nose, and drew whiskers with eyeliner. “

  Ready to go, White Rabbit?” Alice asked, shrugging into her coat and picking up the huge cardboard playing cards Tess had painted.

  “Yup, let’s go face the mob,” Tess said, feeling cheery. As she pulled on her white ruffled coat, the cell in Tess’s pocket buzzed. What’s Sammi doing calling me? She’s supposed to be out looking for Bam-Bam.

  “Tess?” Her sister’s voice was frantic. “Tess, Mom just called. Dad’s been taken to the hospital in an ambulance. She thinks he’s had a heart attack. It’ll be two hours before I can get there. Oh, Tess, what if he doesn’t make it?”

  A wave of panic surged over Tess, as blindly, she stammered, “I’ll be there as soon as I can, Sammi. I’ll text you when I have a flight.”

  “Okay. I’m still in New York in this crazy Pebbles dress, but there was no time to change. I don’t even have an overnight bag. I have to go, I’m at the train station, I have to pay the cabbie, Tess. See you in Philadelphia.”

  “I love you, Sammi.”

  “Me, too, Tess.”

  Feeling the tears welling in her eyes, Tess ended the

  call, struggling to catch her breath. “Tess, what’s wrong?” Alice asked. “That was my sister. It seems my dad had a heart attack. My mom is at the hospital with him now. It sounds really serious. I need a flight out of Denver as soon as possible.”

  “I’ll drive you to the airport. Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.” As Alice spoke, Tess flipped her laptop open, and searched flights online. Hurriedly, Alice changed. Within five minutes, Tess had a flight booked. “I’m just taking a

  carry on, Alice, I still have clothes at home. But what am I going to do with Rhiannon?” she asked, an edge of desperation creeping into her voice.

  “Jake and Cassie will be happy to help, you know that,” Alice soothed, following her into the bedroom. In the middle of her cheeks were still two circles of lipstick, barely rubbed off.

  Tess went to the bathroom to rub the lipstick off her nose, handing Alice some tissues and cold cream. “My flights not until close to midnight, we have time to leave my apartment key with Lotts, and tell him what’s going on.”

  For the next eight hours, Tess was tortured by the memory of the last two conversations she’d had with her parents. She’d been so angry, burning with resentment from all the undermining they’d done. I let it build up, instead of dealing with it, thinking that once I got here, it would all go away. That was foolish, and childish, really. The words she’d last spoken to her father echoed in her head, haunting her the entire flight. What if those were the last words I ever get to say to my dad?

  Arriving in Philadelphia, she texted Sam as she sprinted from the gate towards the airport exit. 3:36 am “Any word?”

  3:38 am “Still waiting. He’s in surgery. There’s hope.” Flailing her arms, Tess hailed the nearest cab. The yellow sedan sped north on 76 in pitch black darkness, slowing as it wound through the labyrinthine construction around Thirty-Fourth and Spruce Street. Finally at the curb, she grabbed her carry-on and ran towards the brightly lit University of Pennsylvania Hospital sign, shoving through the doors and into glass vestibule. Gasping to the receptionist, she raced to the elevator, following signs to the floor ominously marked “Cardiac Unit.”

  There, standing in a brightly lit hallway, Tess saw the shadowy forms of her mother and sister, seated in the hushed waiting room. She stood stock still, too frightened to move. I’m scared to go forward, and I can’t go back.

  They moved towards her. Under the bright florescent lights, Tess saw Sammi’s short fake fur coat, pulled over grey tights, her raggedy-hemmed haltered mini dress slashed with grey paint, but it was the appearance of her indomitable mother that was most startling. Her chignon in loose disarray at her collar, Noelle looked frail and uncertain, her eyes tired and shaken.

  Then she heard Sam’s voice, and saw her eyes. “Tessie? Daddy’s had a blocked artery. They were able to stabilize him. The surgery was a success.”

  “Thank God,” Tess exhaled, almost collapsing to the floor. Her mother and sister surrounded her, their hugs offering comfort and assurance.

  “We can see Daddy in an hour or so, when he’s out of recovery,” Sam said. “And now we can make sure some real experts see to that neck and head of yours, after that terrible auto accident,” her mother sniffed.

  Mom may be down, but she’s not out. Tess put her arm around her mother’s tight shoulders as she met Sam’s steady gaze. Once Richard was out of recovery, Tess, Samantha and Noelle took turns sitting by his bed, holding his hand for fifteen or twenty minutes at a time. He was pasty faced and fragile looking in his blue hospital garb, tubes and bags and needles and monitors everywhere. The tense morning passed slowly. By Sunday evening, he’d improved markedly, and insisted that the girls and Noelle return home for a good night’s rest.

  “Well, he’s back to being himself, calling the shots again, looking out for us,” Sam remarked with an impish grin.

  Noelle nodded, visibly relieved by her husband’s recovery. “He’s out of danger, it seems.” Tess said nothing. She’d been awake for thirty-six hours, wracked with guilt over her own careless words. It almost feels like I jinxed him.

  “He’s got the best medical care in the world, Tessie. He’ll be okay. The doctors said he’ll be fine, better than before, even,” Sam said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster, giving Tess a squeeze. “And now there’s a chance he’ll follow the doctor’s orders.”

  “Oh, he won’t have a choice about that,” Noelle said with conviction. At least mom sounds like her old self. “C’mon, its been a long night, let’s find the car and get a good night’s sleep,” Sammy said.

  As Sam maneuvered her mother’s Volvo north on Lancaster Avenue, Tess felt dazed and disoriented. It wasn’t too long ago that Mom and Dad had all the answers, but now it almost feels like I’m the parent. It’s all too crazy. Everything is happening too quickly.

  It was dark when they arrived at the house. The neighbor’s Hallowe’en decorations cast an eerie, surreal gloom, but Buster was waiting at the door, so happy to see Tess his whole body wiggled. Even so, it was strange to be home. Tess tried to eat the takeout her mother ordered, but it tasted like cardboard. She brushed her teeth and crawled into the white canopy bed in her old room, too tired and numb to think. I hope Mom won’t notice how much weight I’ve lost. She doesn’t need anything else to worry about. When Buster poked the door open to lay on the carpet beside the bed, she let her hand trail down his back. She’d almost drifted off to sleep when her cell buzzed.

  “Hi, Tess. How are things?” Jake’s voice was calm and concerned

  “Okay, my dad is out of danger. The surgery was a success,” she heard her voice waver, and tried to steady it. “That’s good news. Cassie and I grabbed Rhiannon this morning, first thing. She’s here at the ranch with us. We’ve been thinking of you.”

  “Have you? I appreciate that.”

  “Cassie wants to say hi. Can I put her on?”

  “Sure.”

  “Hi, Dr. Tess.” Cassie’s voice was quiet, shy on the telephone.

  “Hi, Cassie. Thank you for taking care of Rhiannon for me.”

  “We didn’t get a chance to ultrasound her belly before you left, to see the puppies.”

  “I know, honey, but I’ll be back soon. How is Sparky?” “He’s fine. I took a trail ride with Daddy today. It was cold and Sparky was frisky, but I didn’t let him get away from me.”

  “Your a good little rider, Cassie. Did you have homework
this weekend?”

  “Nope, we had a bunch of tests on Friday so Ms. Roper gave us the weekend off. In math we are adding double digits. I got a ninety-five on my test, and ninety on spelling.”

  “That’s the way, Cassie. Take your time with homework, and you’ll ace the test.”

  “I’m going to look through those puppy books we got at the library.”

  “That’s a great idea. We’ll see what others we can find, when I get back, okay?”

  “Yup. I want to learn all about puppies. My dad said I could keep one of Rhiannon’s.”

  “That will be fun.”

  “I know, my own puppy! I’m so excited.”

  They chatted for a few more minutes. When Cassie wound down, Tess said, “It’s great to talk to you, Cassie. Thanks very much for taking care of Rhiannon. I’ll bet she really likes being at the ranch with you and Van and your dad. You have a good week in school, and work hard, okay?”

  “Okay, here’s my Daddy. Hope your dad is feeling better and I can see you soon, Dr. Tess.”

  “Thank you, sweetie. I hope to see you soon, too.”

  “You two sure are good friends.”Jake’s approving words comforted her. “I’ll give the good news to Alice, so she can let Doc know. We’re all pulling for your dad, Tess.”

  “Thanks, Jake,” she said, emotion choking her voice. “That’s nice to hear.”

  “Just take it easy, Crash, okay?”

  “Bye, Jake.”

  *****

  He hung up the phone and reached for Cassie, taking her in his arms. “Gosh, Daddy, what happens when someone’s heart breaks?” Cassie asked, her face full of alarm.

  “You’ve heard me talk about heartbreak, haven’t you, Cassie?” he asked soberly. “Heartbreak is a term that means emotional pain. It’s not like a heart attack. A heart attack is physical, something malfunctions in your body. C’mon, let’s look it up on the internet, and I’ll try to explain it.”

  Jake and Cassie spent the next hour online, until Jake was satisfied that Cassie understood what had happened to Tess’ father.

  Before they clicked off the computer, Cassie made him promise to make an appointment for a stress test. He put his arms around her. She has too much to worry about, this little girl of mine.

  “I love you endless miles, Cassie,” he said, tucking her head under his chin.

  “I love you buckets and buckets, Daddy.” Cassie put her strong little arms around his neck and squeezed. He couldn’t imagine life without his daughter. It hadn’t taken Tess very long to grow attached to Cassie, either.

  He felt a wave of guilt for what he’d put Tess through.

  “C’mon, let’s make some meatballs, we’ll have spaghetti for dinner,” he said.

  While the meatballs were cooking, he bundled Cassie and they traipsed to the barn in the day’s snowfall, dogs at their heels. He fed and watered the horses while she groomed Sparky. After dinner, a bath and bedtime story, he switched the nightlight on and left the door open a crack, just the way Cassie liked it.

  Quarterly reports were down on his desk, and he had plenty of other work in his office, but he went to his room and relaxed. The ranch house was big, and Cassie felt safer if he was nearby. He liked to stay close until she fell asleep.

  Closing his eyes, he nodded off, remembering how Tess felt in his arms. Despite all the confusion, he ached to be close again. But Tess is in Philadelphia now. She’ll be reminded of her old life, and all its opportunities. She’ll leave in June, for her own good. It will hurt, but I’ll bear it, and so will Cassie, because that is what’s best for Tess. Her talents would squandered in Green Junction. In the meantime, we all better play it cool.

  ***** Monday morning, Tess waded past tubes and machines to visit Richard, who’d been transferred to a private room. “Hi, Daddy,” she said, kissing his nose.

  “You showed some presence of mind, warning me about this, Tessie,” he said weakly.

  “Daddy, stop, please. I’ve felt horrible about it since Sam called. Will you forgive me?”

  “There’s nothing to forgive, darling. You were right, obviously. I’ve learned my lesson. I ignored advice I should have heeded, and showed a great deal of hubris with my health. Your mother and I were very presumptive with our behavior. It took me awhile to accept, but I’m proud of you for insisting that we let you fend for yourself,” he smiled feebly, patting her hand, “And here you are, taking care of me. I’m so glad to see you, daughter.”

  “Thank you, Dad.” Tess hugged him. “ I love you so much. I’ve felt terrible, all this time, for what I said. I hope it didn’t upset you too much?”

  “No, darling, you didn’t upset me. Your mother and I were concerned for what you were going through, and it didn’t take much for me to realize the part I’d played in complicating things for you. But don’t for a minute think that discussion had anything to do with this heart attack. How’s your mother been?”

  Tess saw the twinkle in his eye. As she squeezed his hand, the tears welled. He loves us all, so much. “Mom and I haven’t really talked, but things are okay. She seems to be holding up.”

  “Well, that’s your mother,” he nodded, “She’s a force of nature, never ceases to amaze me. How are things going with that young man?”

  “What young man?”

  Richard’s eyes crinkled, and a look of amusement crossed his ashen face. “Your yahoo cowboy, of course.”

  “Kind of a disaster, still, but he did call yesterday to see how you were,” she admitted, shrugging her shoulders. “He’s keeping my dog, and his daughter likes me, so that’s something. Thanks for asking.”

  “I’m sorry for interfering, Tessie, and I’ll tell him so if I get the chance. Even a cranky old legal beagle like me won’t scare him away if he really loves you.”

  “Thanks, Dad.We were sort of dating, and now we’re not. I don’t think Jake loves me. We’re just friends, really.”

  “Good friends is the best way. Your mother and I were friends in law school, both dating other people, until I realized she was the one for me, and look at us now. Listen, Tessie, this is your sister’s last day home. There’s been enough commotion, I won’t have you stuck here worrying about me. Go have some fun with her.”

  “Give us one more day here with you, Dad. Sam will be back next Friday, and Mom wants us to go shopping.”

  “Well, today you and Sam are having lunch at the White Dog on me. This all might have been prevented, if I’d humbled myself and taken my doctor’s advice, just like my daughter suggested, awhile back.”

  “You don’t know that, Dad,” Tess insisted.

  Tuesday morning, after Tess dropped Sam at the train station, she went downtown to visit Grandma Angliotti.

  On her way home, she put in a call to her advisor at New Bolton, equine surgeon Marguerite Sanders. In her late-sixties, wiry and focused, Dr. Sanders had broken into veterinary science at a time when few women entered the field. She was a pioneer, responsible for significant improvements in many large animal surgical techniques, and had taken a special interest in Tess. Dr. Sanders had a gap in her schedule, and they arranged to meet.

  “Have you had your fill of the demanding physical labor of a large animal, field-based practice yet?” Dr. Sanders asked with a smile, when Tess arrived in her office Wednesday late morning.

  “Not yet,” she smiled, thinking of the enthusiasm the ranchers around Green Junction seemed to have for her presence there.

  “Tess, our surgical teaching fellowship posts will open again in June. They are one year assignments, but Dr. Drake is retiring next spring, and we’ll be seeking a permanent replacement. We’ve all been really impressed by your performance, here. I know what you are capable of, both as a surgeon and a teacher. I’d be happy to recommend you for the fellowship, if you are interested. Our fellows will receive strong consideration for Doc Drake’s position.”

  Dr. Sanders was serious, Tess realized, and the offer caught her off guard.

  “You don
’t need to give me an answer now, but think about it, okay?” Dr. Sanders asked, eyeing Tess kindly.

  She sat in on Dr. Marguerite’s practicum lecture at noon, and at 1:30 left for the hospital to visit her father, thinking the entire time about a career move back to Philadelphia. Who could have imagined Dr. Sanders would consider me for such a prestigious post? And why would I ever turn it down?

  That evening at dinner, after a phone call with Alice, Tess told her mother. “Alice got an envelope at the office today, with tickets to the VFW Christmas Dinner Dance the Saturday before Thanksgiving. There’s a Tree Lighting in Green Junction’s town square beforehand.”

  “Is it a formal, Tess?” Noelle asked, stars in her eyes.

  “Semi-formal,” Tess said dolefully. The sender of the tickets was a mystery. When Alice regretfully admitted she’d had no news from Jake, Tess reminded her that Ron had offered to send them the tickets. Can I withstand an entire evening with Officer Ron, after what he’s done to Jake? The sinking feeling in her gut intensified. At least Mom is excited. Maybe she’d like to dance with Ron.

  “We can go dress shopping tomorrow night, dear, before Daddy comes home. And we’ll buy those wonderful little gold sandals we saw Monday night with Sam. Remember, you said you didn’t have anyplace to wear them?”

  Tess stifled a groan at the prospect of yet another evening with her mother at the King of Prussia Mall. Noelle thrived on the bustle of the suburbs, but the crowds and traffic reminded Tess of the quiet peacefulness she loved in Green Junction.

  She let her mother choose her dress and shoes for the dance, and Noelle only smiled when Tess selected cotton and wool turtlenecks instead of silk blouses, and more sports bras than lacy ones. Tess managed to hold her mother to two cashmere sweaters, and asked her to help select one for Alice. God forbid I’m the only woman in Green Junction wearing cashmere. Thankfully, Aunt Olivia can balance the score.

  “Alice is a good friend, isn’t she?” Noelle asked. Tess felt her mother gently take her arm as they made their way across the darkened parking lot.