Crashing Into Tess (The McGreers)

by Christine, Lilly

  tablecloths, and decked with silly giant centerpieces. The

  ladies had fitted large hares with small antlers, and they

  seemed to scamper along the middle of the tables, amidst

  pineapples and fresh fruit. Something about the jackalopes

  made Tess’s stomach even queasier. No turning back, now. The familiar shock of Doc’s white hair rose in the midst

  of the crowd. “Let’s head over there, maybe Bea is with

  him,” Alice urged.

  Not only was Bea with Doc, Cassie and Vicki were

  there as well. Vicki wore a lame silver mini dress, fishnets

  and four inch platform heels, and glared at Tess as she and

  Alice walked over.

  Adorable in a red corduroy jumper, white tights and a

  white ruffled turtleneck, Cassie looked anxious, bouncing

  next to her mother, hair in pigtails, feet in sturdy leather

  mary janes. She carried a little felt horse.

  Where’s Cassie’s bubbly self confidence? She’s a

  different kid when she’s with Vicki. Thinking about what

  Vicki might have dropped in her purse, she worried for

  Cassie.

  “Here’s Dr. Bamberger,” Doc said pleasantly. “Dr.

  Tess!” Cassie threw her arms around Tess’s waist. “I am SO

  glad to see you. Are you going to try the antelope stew?”

  She looked up, wrinkling her nose.

  “I will if you will!” Tess laughed, as Doc handed her a

  glass of red wine.

  Cassie grabbed her hand and twirled around. “My dad

  will be here later. I like your dress!”

  “And I like yours!” she answered, squeezing Cassie’s

  hand. Vicki smirked and rolled her eyes. Tess gulped her

  wine.

  Looking between Vicki and Tess, Bea smoothed her

  hands over the front of her dress. “Good to see you Tess.

  We’re pleased you could come and meet everyone.” Doc

  smiled, too, nodding good naturedly. Vicki tossed her head.

  The giant, hair-sprayed pouf at the front barely moved.

  “You girls made it just in time, it’s a full house, already,”

  Bea said approvingly, still trying.

  Answering brightly, Alice chatted with Bea. Wishing

  she could avoid Vicki’s glare, Tess drank wine.Doc had just

  refilled her glass when she felt a tug at her sleeve. Officer

  Ron was next to her now, too close, in a polyester navy

  jacket, black cotton chinos, and his black cop shoes,

  grinning from ear to ear. Will the disasters of this evening

  never cease?

  “Hi, Ronald,” Bea said warmly, as Ron shook hands with Doc.

  “How are you feeling, Dr. Bamberger?” Ron asked stiffly, smiling at Tess. Vicki’s glare intensified.

  “Fine, thank you,” Tess answered, trying not be annoyed. Haven’t we been through this already once today?

  “So, I’ll have the good fortune of seeing you at the Tree Lighting, weekend after next?” Ron asked, looking pointedly at Tess. Vicki’s eyes narrowed even further. Ugh!

  Mortified, Tess raised her eyebrows, looking to Alice for help. “Doc and I will be there, Ron,” Bea smiled. “And I think the girls are planning to go, too, aren’t you, Alice?” Thank God for Bea.

  “I think we’ll all be there, Ron,” Alice nodded. Thank God for Alice.

  “The dance afterward is a benefit for the police, fire and ambulance corps,” Ron explained, looking at Tess meaningfully. “You know about the tickets?”

  “We got them at the office. Thanks for thinking of us, Ron,” Alice said. Tess just smiled politely, repulsed by the prospect of wearing the fancy dress her mother had picked out to dance with tactless, deceptive, despicable Ron Karachek.

  “I’m really looking forward to the Tree Lighting Dance!” Vicki stepped in front of Doc, grabbing Ron’s arm, flashing him an inviting smile, heavy on the lipstick. “It’s a great cause.”

  Ron’s eyes roved over Vicki’s low-necked lame, and he moved her way. With Vicki at his elbow, Ron talked Ag Department news with Doc. Then, puffed with importance, he nodded to them all. “I’m headed down to the station for the night shift.”

  “We’ll be on the lookout, Ron,” Alice countered with an innocent smile. With an ingratiating look to Tess, Ron stepped away. Vicki charged after him, hot on his trail, and Tess breathed relief, but her eye caught Jake, just coming through the door, and she tensed all over again.

  Brow furrowed, he watched his ex-wife chase Ron into the lobby. Catching Tess’s eye, Jake grinned, twisting an eyebrow sardonically. She couldn’t help but laugh. His hair had gotten longer while she’d been away, and a dark curl fell over his forehead. In a chambray shirt, open-necked under a wool tweed sport jacket, jeans and brown dress boots, he was appealing as ever. Cassie made a beeline for her dad. Tess turned back to her wine, trying not to drool. Shortly afterward, she heard Bea exclaim, “Well, hello, Jake!”

  He was behind her now. She felt the electricity of his closeness torch up her spine. Touching her elbow, Jake murmured, “Nice to see you out on the town, Crash.” Turning to Doc and Bea, he said, “Tess did a great job with Alchemy, Doc.”

  “How ever did he get into barbed wire?” Bea asked.

  “Jumped out of the paddock. Best we can figure, the tractor churned some old wire up when we brush hogged last spring. We didn’t catch it, and that’s what the horse got tangled in.”

  “I’ll be darned,” Doc said. “Alchemy’s jumping the fence, again, is he?”

  Jake smiled ruefully. “Usually he runs right to the barn, and we find him at dinnertime. I’m real glad Tess showed up when she did. She did such a great job with the sutures, the scars are barely visible.” He met her eye, and his smile flashed gratitude.

  “She’s a quick hand with sutures. Did a neat job on Sherri Tarleton’s gelding, too,” Doc said. He and Jake were looking at her approvingly. She smiled again, getting lost in Jake’s deep brown eyes. Catching herself, Tess pulled back, but he was still smiling. Nervously, she sucked down more wine.

  Bea’s eyes darted to Alice. “Ready for the the kitchen, dear? I’ll need to get my apron on, it’s almost time to check the venison roast.”

  “I’m right behind you,” Alice smiled, following Bea through the crowded room.

  Tess ducked down, eye-level with Cassie. “Hey, Cassie, I like that horse.”

  Cassie held the brightly embroidered felt creature up. “My Aunt Olivia made him for me for Christmas last year. Do you want to go see Aunt Olivia? She said to bring you over.”

  “I’d like that,” Tess said, offering Cassie her hand. Smiling approval, Jake stayed to converse with Doc. Cassie led Tess down the middle aisle to the table where Olivia was seated with her lady friends.

  Striking in black patent boots, long wool grey houndstooth skirt, and pale pink cashmere turtleneck, Olivia smiled a welcome, extending her hand graciously. “Well, here’s Doctor Tess!”

  “I brought her to see you, Auntie O. I knew your friends would want to meet her. Dr. Tess is a vet, everybody. She was in school for twenty years,” Cassie explained in a conspiratorial tone, her eyes wide.

  “It’s a lot of work to become a vet,” Gertrude offered with a smile. “Surely takes dedication.”

  “How are things, Tess?” Aunt Olivia asked, smoothing an errant hair into her smooth grey chignon, next to her giant pearl earrings.

  “Great, very busy here tonight,” Tess commented neutrally, holding her empty wine glass like an accessory. “Thank you for the lovely card, my father is doing much better, now.”

  “Oh, good,” Olivia said. “I was worried for you, dear.”

  Gertrude smiled, her eyes black as onyx. “You look real pretty, Tess.” Turning to Olivia, she said, “Tess came by today, helped tag some new things that came in t
o the thrift store. She’s a big help. My days go quicker, when she stops by,” Gertrude said, “She really brightens a room.”

  “You must join our group for tea, and Stella’s chocolate cake, Tess,” Olivia offered. “We meet every other Tuesday for lunch and bridge at my place. Bea often comes, and Alice is welcome. You’ll be our guest of honor, next time.”

  “Thank you, I’m sure we’ll enjoy that,” she felt herself blushing with appreciation. As she visited with Olivia and Gertrude and the ladies from the Ecumenical Society, she couldn’t help noticing Vicki, standing with a group of friends near the front of the room. They were whispering together, shooting her dirty looks. Nervously, Tess said, “Ladies, if you’ll excuse me, I know Doc has some people he wants me to meet.”

  “Of course, dear. Delighted to see you again,” Olivia answered. “I’ll be after Bea to bring you and Alice by.”

  “Come back for dessert!” Cassie piped, and Tess squeezed her hand.

  Moving towards Doc, Tess bumped into Sherri Tarleton, who nipped an open bottle of cabernet from the table and filled Tess’s glass. As they talked horses, a pair of tall, lanky twenty-somethings came up, in boots and jeans and fancy western shirts, grinning broadly, and Sherri introduced her sons, Stuart and Brett. They had giant hands, freckled, tanned faces and wore their dark red curly hair identically; full in front, cut short over their ears and collars. Western Starchy Archies! Wait til I tell Sammi!

  Vicki and her friends had moved to the side of the room now, standing closer to Tess. Tess saw Vicki mouth something to her. “What?” Tess asked, distracted from her chat with Sherri. Another girl squealed “Stewhair!” and the rest broke into peals of laughter. Self-consciously, Tess touched her hair, loose down her back, held at her crown with a barrette. I haven’t gotten stew in my hair!

  Doc was just across the table now, talking with Chris and Maybelle Carson. “You get on over to Doc, Tess, we could talk all day,” Sherri motioned. “But don’t forget to come out and ride my big hunter mare. I’m so busy starting three year olds, I’d welcome the company, and she needs exercise.”

  Feeling a glow from her third glass of wine, already gone, Tess said, “I’d like that, Sherri, thanks for thinking of me.”

  “Doc’s got a full night planned for you, lots of people to meet,” Sherri whispered, filling her glass again. “You’ll need this.”

  Tess wobbled over to Doc and the Carsons, self consciously tugging at the ends of her hair. I really haven’t eaten much today, and this Stew hair thing has me a little concerned. . . There isn’t even any stew out yet, so it couldn’t be in my hair!

  Bea and Alice and the other ladies were bustling from the kitchen, just filling buffet pans and soup crocks. Stuart and Brett had stayed at her elbows. Alarmed, she glanced over to Jake, seated with Olivia and Cassie. Jaw set, he looked away, pretending not to notice her. Oh, great. He’s ignored me for all this time, and now he’s jealous? Stung by Jake’s rejection, Tess sucked down more wine.

  Smiling a greeting, Maybelle stood next to Chris, holding a year old baby. “Our big sow was firing from all cylinders within eight hours of your visit a few weeks back, Dr. Bamberger,” Chris Carson told her approvingly. “We surely appreciate your help.”

  “Well, that’s fantastic,” she answered, catching her balance. “A touch of mastitis isn’t uncommon after a sow’s had a litter, as you know. I’m glad we treated it right away, though.” Maybelle had another baby on the way, and Tess noticed dark circles under her eyes. It has to be tough, caring for young children while running a pig and chicken farm. Maybelle and Chris aren’t much older than me. There’s a lot of work on their place.

  Thinking about her friends in Philadelphia, who seemed to have it so much easier, Tess held Maybelle’s baby’s hand, shaking it and cooing until her tiny, chubby face burst in a toothless grin.

  Stuart and Brett spoke to Chris and Maybelle while Doc moved off towards an older man. Tess immediately recognized him as the man with the cat carrier, from the Saturday debacle with Vicki. Is it Mr. Harris with Otis, or Mr. Otis with Harris?

  As Tess joined them, the man told Doc appreciatively, “Mah Harris had a hair ball, t’ young lady took good care of him t’other week.”

  Mr. Otis! “Well, hello, Mr. O-” Tess started, but Doc was smiling, too, saying in his deep, approving voice, “Ah, Tess, you’ve met Mr. Zweigstich, then.”

  “Yes, hello, sir!” Tess said, taking his hand and shaking it enthusiastically. How did I get Otis from Zweigstich?

  “And how is Harrish?” Harrish? She glanced at her half empty glass. Am I beginning to slur? Better not even try to pronounce Zweigstick, swigstitch......whatever.

  “Doin’ quite well, ma’am, thanks for your concern. The missus planted some of that grass you suggested, and he’s taken to that quite fine. Might be that’ll take care o’ th’ hairballs.”

  “Yes, wheat grass usually does the trick, if they like it,” Doc nodded, with a smile for Tess. Mr. Swigstick. . . Zweigstich! moved off, and Tess faced a wall of strangers. Or were they? Had she met them before?

  She was face to face with Vicki’s girl posse. Big hair teased in front, all in lame and sequins with too much makeup and high heels like ice-picks, they tried to stare her down. Like a gang of alley cats. Somewhat startled, she plastered a silly smile on her face and turned back to join Doc. He was chatting with Stuart and Brett, and she heard the smallest girl hiss loudly, “Does she think she’ll monopolize the testosterone in the room all night long?”

  “Just let her try,” Vicki laughed. Hissssss. Their claws look lethal. Looking straight at Tess, she mouthed “Stewhair.” “Stewhair!” another said, “Stewhair, stewhair!” All the girls broke into laughter and a chill went down Tess’s spine. What are they talking about? Stew Hair? Stewart, Stuart, like Stuart Tarleton?

  Doc was offering his standard introduction to more people she didn’t know.“Here’s Doctor Bamberger, you might be meeting her soon at your place. She’s quite a veterinarian.” Tess shook hands and smiled, greeting ranchers and townspeople.

  Jimmy and his mom and dad came by, and Tess asked them about Sylve-essshhter. Sylve-essshhter? Did someone fill my wine glass again?

  Aaron waved from across the room. “How’s your truck running, Tess?”

  “Great, thank you,” she smiled politely, lifting her glass to him. “It’s working out fine.”

  ***** A roast of venison was brought to the carving board, and the crowd began to assemble. Stuart and Brett guided her to a place in line, and Tess feigned attention as they launched into yet another tale of their hunting and fishing exploits, sucking from her wine glass, letting her eyes roam the room. This could be a very long night.

  Seated with Olivia and Cassie, Jake was steadfastly ignoring her, his jaw set. I’m just batting a thousand, here. It’s not like I can leave the line, and just go sit with Jake. Even though I want to. Even though I really, really want to. Brett and Stuart were moving down the line. Tess remembered how it felt to be next to Jake in bed, and almost lost her balance.

  Jake glanced her way, then furrowed his brow, tending to Cassie. Great, he’s being very clear about how he feels about me. And his ex wife and her gal pals are pretty clear about it, too. They’re making mincemeat, I mean “stewhair”, of me. .

  The room was starting to spin. Loud conversation and the rich aroma of food washed over Tess in tangled waves. A shadow hovered at her elbow. “Mind if I join you?” Aaron buzzed, above the din.

  “Not at all,” Tess answered, stepping back, hoping at least for variety in the conversation. But the talk of caliber and range and sighting and tracking only turned to head gaskets and shocks and struts and transmissions and carburetors.

  “That one I got with my twenty-two...” crowed Stuart. “After the head gasket blew...” thundered Aaron. “Turkey season, we use pellet shot...” squawked Brett. Stuart Tarleton asked her about his hunting dog’s habit

  of marking trees to establish territory. She answered
politely, then drained her wine glass. So this is the prize for Testosterone Monopoly? The Pointer Pee Zone Award? Her wine was gone, just a tiny purple ring left at the bottom of her glass. And where is the wine fairy when I need her?

  Ahead, Vicki was serving on the buffet, the only woman not wearing an apron. Because an apron would defeat the effect of all that lame stretched over her armored Wonder bra, and cover her cleavage. Vicki’s girl posse filed through the buffet ahead of Tess, yakking and giggling and calling attention to themselves. The tiny girl who liked Stuart leaned over the buffet pan to purr a secret to Vicki. Vicki threw her head back with a peal of laughter, and both of them turned to look at Tess with narrowed eyes.

  I’d trade places in the Testosterone Monopoly game, to make some new girlll friendssshhh. But they’re not very nice-sssh Feeling doomed and miserable, Tess glanced towards Jake just as he turned away, pretending not to notice her.

  Aaron and the Tarleton boys filled their plates, then headed for the carving boards. Bea and Alice smiled encouragement while Tess took small portions of pan roasted potatoes, pumpkin soup and smoked trout.

  “How is it out there?” Alice asked, perky as ever. “Social hour with Doc was fine. But I’ve been accossh- ted by Brett and Stuart and Aaron, and it’s been non-stop talk of caliber and range and engine lube ever since. I’m dodging bulletsh out there, Alissh,” Tess complained, rolling her eyes in bewilderment. “Vicki’s friends keep shooting me looksh to kill.”

  “Poor thing. The Tarleton boys are considered real catches around here. They’re almost inseparable, and they can talk. Oh well, bet you made Sherri happy, and you certainly got Jake’s attention.”

  “Right, just the attention I want, he’s barely said a thing to me all night long. Oh, Alice, pleassh let me come in back and help you clean up, afterwards,” Tess begged.

  “Sure, take cover with us married ladies as soon as you finish dinner, Tess. There’s plenty to do in the back. And I doubt Vicki will stick around for the real work. She’s just serving to flirt with the men and make Bea happy,” Alice whispered.

  She tottered past the pan of rice in front of Vicki, but that didn’t keep Vicki from whispering “Stewhair” as she passed. Dipping into the crock of requisite antelope stew, Tess filled a dish, taking just a single slice of venison roast at the carving board. Doc was with a group of men standing near the kitchen door, a pitcher of beer between them, waiting for all the others to go through the line, and Stuart and Brett had disappeared. When Tess finally saw them, they were taking seats across from Aaron, at Vicki’s girl posse table. Well, that’s not an option.