Ben sighed. “Matt, you can’t keep blowing me off. Not until you at least give me a chance to explain. You’ve already given as much to Liz.”
Matt had given Liz a chance to explain. A chance to somehow make him understand the reasoning behind the lie. “I did. And it didn’t end well for her.”
Ben rubbed his temples. “Look, I’m sorry about what happened. It was a weird situation and we weren’t thinking—”
“Do I need to hear all this again?”
Ben stared at him and continued. “You’d left her. I was angry at you for making such a stupid choice, and she was hurt. We had a few to drink and let our emotions get the best of us.” He took a few steps toward Matt. “It was a mistake and we were out of our minds with guilt.”
“Guilt? Oh well that makes it all better then,” he glared back.
“It wasn’t easy,” he barked. “You returned from whatever escape you needed from reality, so ready to get back with her…”
“I’m not getting into that with you. It’s none of your business.” Matt wiggled his keys but was unable to move.
“You ever wonder about how easy it was for her to forgive you when you came back?” Ben continued.
He had. He had considered himself to be the luckiest man alive after he’d returned from Ireland and begged Liz to take him back, promising her to be the man she fell in love with, a man she could trust, someone who would never again let her down.
And she had, without a blink of an eye.
He had fled to Ireland for the summer in one of those volunteer teachers’ summer abroad programs after grad school. He couldn’t explain his decision in any kind of words that would make Liz understand. The truth had been that he needed to explore and see the world.
And he wanted to do it by himself.
He never could truly forget the shattered look in her eyes when he told her not to wait for him.
It was that same look he was sure that Ben saw and consoled. Matt shuttered silently at the thought.
“I did,” Matt replied quietly.
“It wasn’t just the guilt, Matt, she loved and missed you terribly. All she wanted to do is forget the mistake she made with me and move on.”
Matt’s face burned with rage when he wondered how much of the topic Liz had shared with Ben. “Is that what she told you?”
“I wanted her to tell you. I didn’t want to keep this from you, Matt.”
Matt rubbed his forehead, unable to keep from asking this next thing. “But she did, right?” he asked quietly.
For the first time since Matt walked in to that kitchen, Ben had nothing to say.
Matt shrugged. “Can’t say I blame her. I mean if you think about it, what did you have to lose? Your brother’s girlfriend would tell him the truth—there’s no way he could marry her knowing this. Down the tubes goes that relationship, and eventually he’d meet someone new and move on, and you wouldn’t have to keep looking at the woman who you betrayed your brother with.” Matt glared at Ben again. “Sound about right?”
Ben held a tight glare. “That’s nowhere near right.”
Matt started to feel sick thinking about it. “Tell mom and dad I had to go.”
Chapter 18
LIZ
Time seemed to flow like raw honey dripping off a spoon as Liz lay there, staring at the ceiling. She turned her head to the spot where a mere two hours ago, Matt had managed to completely dissolve her scrutiny with that deep desirous kiss. She hadn’t planned on hooking him into a kiss on the lips, it was innocently impulsive. Frankly, she was getting tired of his meaningless appeasing kisses on her forehead. Like she was some child.
That was going to stop.
Just as she felt herself slipping under the warm dark blanket of sleep, she jumped at the knock on the door.
It wouldn’t have been Matt, she knew he’d be gone most of the day on his dad’s boat. She forced herself not to wonder why he wouldn’t ask her to come along. For reasons she had yet to understand, he probably assumed it was for the best.
With her eyes sweeping the room for tidiness, she stood and headed to the door, pulling it open without a thought.
She found herself staring at a woman who looked vaguely familiar. Her dark curls settling just over her shoulders, she was slightly darker skinned than Liz and had big gray eyes. She reminded her of Matt’s brother Ben. She suddenly remembered why.
“Megan, right?”
The woman’s eyes widened in a mixture of surprise and hope.
“Yes,” she exclaimed. “You—.”
Liz drew a polite smile. “I remember you from the hospital. I think I saw you through my window with Ben.”
Megan inhaled a slow breath. “Oh.”
“Come in.”
She pulled off one strap from her shoulder bag and withdrew a paper bag. “I know Matt’s not home, so I thought I’d stop by to keep you company.”
Liz’s heart caught in her throat at the small cast covering Megan’s wrist and part of her hand. She must have stared a second too long because Megan glanced down at it.
“It’s not your fault, Liz. Please know that.” She held up the brown paper bag. “I brought cannoli’s,” she offered, happily. “You’re going to love them.”
“I’m so glad your here.” Liz closed the door and motioned for Megan to come in further. “I haven’t had a woman to talk to since I woke up—except for the nurses. I’ll make us some tea.”
“Tea?” Megan grimaced, then shook her head. “You’ve really lost your mind. Okay, grab your keys—I’m taking you out.”
Liz stood there for a long second, as if she didn’t know if she should oblige.
Megan rolled her eyes and reached in the bowl by the front door. Dangling the metal in her fingers, she pulled open the door and held it for Liz. “After you.”
Thirty short minutes later, they were seated in the outdoor section of a quaint corner cafe in town with high, soaring blue umbrellas. The small table area that only fit about four two-seater tables, was fenced in and faced a quiet intersection. Jazz music, similar to what Liz had been listening to back in the den, was pouring out of the open double doors. Megan had ordered them mimosas and pulled out the brown paper bag of sweets.
“So, how’s life been?” She leaned back and raised an eyebrow at her sister in law.
Liz formed a slow smile. She was surprised and relieved at how abrupt and familiar Megan spoke to her. Though it was truly refreshing, Liz was ineluctably cynical about the people surrounding her, claiming to know her. She couldn’t help it. The only person she had trusted instantly was her brother Marcus.
“Lucky to be alive from what I hear,” Liz responded.
Megan inhaled deeply, as if she had been bracing for this conversation. “I’m sorry I didn’t stop by to see you at the hospital. I just…” she swallowed, quickly. “I didn’t want to mess with your recovery.”
Liz could tell Megan was not a soft person, or one to show much emotion. But she didn’t think that was an excuse not to visit her when she was just next door. Liz then wondered if this was something she should blow off or confront. What would pre-amnesia Liz do? She guessed it didn’t matter. This Liz needed everything explained. Something told her Megan would appreciate the candidness.
Liz took a sip of her fizzy drink. “I can imagine it’s not easy seeing someone who got the worse end of the stick.”
By the shocked look on Megan’s face, Liz’s question was answered. She wasn’t the type of person to confront.
“You’re right. There was no reason I shouldn’t have come to see you.”
“What happened?”
Megan leaned back, glancing at her glass. “Every body’s favorite question.”
Liz raised an eyebrow.
Megan’s eyes were lost in the flute she spun between her fingers. She took a breath and hesitated. Then looked at Liz. “You’re not at fault, Liz.”
“How’s that possible? Why do people keep saying that? I was the one driving.” And
from what she remembered from the report she snuck a few glances at, the other driver in the truck insisted she ran the light. It had to have been her fault.
“Am I that bad of a driver or was I just distracted?” Liz hated to push the only female friend she had, but she needed to understand why she was sitting there with no memory of who she is.
Megan, who had been watching her with what could pass for concern, finally sat up in her chair. “Liz, it wasn’t you. It was me. I distracted you with something.”
Liz stared at Megan, waiting. There was regret in her voice. “What?” Liz finally asked.
“It…well it was about Matt.”
Liz wasn’t expecting that. “Matt?”
Megan glanced around. “Before I get into detail…how has life been with Matt since you came home?”
Liz was sure she was about to get confirmation that there had have been problems before. Her faithful sister in law was hinting at something. Liz cleared her throat and glanced to look anywhere but at the woman asking her this private question. “Distant.”
Megan nodded and narrowed her eyes at Liz. “Has he kissed you?”
“Not as much as I’d imagined,” Liz admitted. Liz kept her eyes on the stem of her glass, then glanced up at Megan, who’s expression was very unreadable. “But he doesn’t want to overwhelm me,” Liz continued.
“None of us want to do anything to make your condition worse or scare you,” she paused, as if there were an afterthought there. But then just as quickly, Megan had changed her mind. “Tell me more.”
“There isn’t much else. Matt doesn’t have much to say about our life. He didn’t even want to tell me how we met.” Liz paused, she felt guilty for not giving her husband credit where it counted. “But he cares. He worries about me. And he makes delicious meals.”
Megan took a bite of her cannoli. “Sounds like my grandmothers’ caretaker.”
Liz’s instant stare at Megan must have told her that she’d just hit the nail on the head. “Is there something he isn’t telling me?”
Megan’s eyes dilated and she looked down at Liz’s plate. “You’re letting a good pastry go to waste.”
Liz didn’t take her eyes off Megan’s. “Are we leaving?”
“Liz, you need to go home and make your husband stop ignoring you. Challenge him. Make him remember that you are still his wife. Maybe that’s what you need to help you remember.”
* * *
Matt didn’t want to talk much after he’d come home. His complete transformation from earlier that same day was disappointing. She wondered what happened at his parents’ house.
Liz was growing tired of being pushed aside like some estranged family member asking too many questions. Short of glancing at her every once in a while, Matt barely acknowledged Liz that evening.
After Matt came into her bedroom that night to shower in the master bath, Liz decided to test the waters with her so-called husband and slipped on a black silk nighty and freshened up. She dimmed the lights, turned down the bed and waited, anxiously. When the shower shut off, her heart raced. She didn’t have time to panic or back out of her deliberations. She was going through with this. As the door opened, she swallowed and suddenly found it difficult to breathe.
Matt stepped out of the bathroom with his hair raked back and a dark blue towel around his waist. He glanced around the darkened room and then focused on her. His tanned, bare torso glistened in the dim light.
The room was so quiet, she could have sworn he could also hear the loud thumping of her heart.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“I wanted to ask you the same thing,” she replied, casually. “You haven’t said much since you got home today.” She took two deliberate steps towards him.
Matt’s eyes drifted to the bare floor he stood on. Avoiding hers. “Liz—”
She ignored the evading gesture and reached out to touch his chiseled chest. His body still damp but smooth. Still looking away, he inhaled what sounded like an angry breath, which made her freeze in place. She only gave him a few seconds to do or say something, but when he didn’t, she continued gliding her fingers up to his shoulders and then down his arm. He squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed. Fighting a mystery emotion.
When he finally looked up at her, there was a beat where it seemed as if he was about to give in to her and crush her lips with his.
But instead, he wrapped his fingers around her wrist and gently lowered it to her side.
“Why are you avoiding me?” she whispered.
“I’m not avoiding you.” He walked around her to the dresser. “I’m just giving you—.”
“I don’t want space,” she snapped, annoyed at his pathetic blow off. “I just need to know why…” she watched him and then finally huffed and spun in the other direction. “Forget it.”
Two short beats later, her left arm was being pulled and her waist grabbed from the opposite side. He spun her to face him before she could catch her breath. Their noses barely touching.
He spoke in a low murmur. “That’s the problem, Lizzy. I can’t…” he blinked and swallowed, flipping back from her eyes to her lips.
He was confusing her to no end. What was she supposed to do with this? She fought the urge to pull her hair out of her head with frustration and instead focused intensely on her breathing. He’d made her incredibly uncomfortable, but she didn’t dare show it. She wouldn’t dare pull away or back down after cornering him. She felt like she should have said something. Anything. But she feared that any sound out of her mouth would just be a sorry squeal, since she was finding it so hard to stand next to him.
He leaned in close to her ear. “Tell me what you’re thinking,” his tone was demanding.
She swallowed again, harder. Keeping her mind off pulling that towel off him. “I’m wondering what it is about me that you can’t forget.”
In an instant, his expression turned dark and he tightened his grip on her arms slightly. He shut his eyes, moving his head to the side, almost regretful. He let something slip. An emotion he couldn’t control. Was it anger? She was determined more than ever to find out.
Recovering, he slid his hands down her arms, sending goosebumps through her entire body. He lifted a hand and brushed aside the hair that covered her bruised and sewn temple. He kissed near it so gently, she barely felt the touch. The wordless endearment making her shiver again.
“Everything that makes you—you,” he said quietly. His lips teasing around her ear.
She was frozen in place. Couldn’t move if she tried. It was as if he was putting her under some spell. “Tell me,” she breathlessly asked as he pulled her head back and lightly stroked her neck with his lips.
“How you can be stubborn and cute at the same time. The way you still look at me when I say or do something to make you happy,” his lip curved on that one. Then he pulled up and frowned, looking into her eyes, as if he were asking her a question he couldn’t understand. “How the thought of losing me could make you lose yourself,” his voice cracked, and he pulled away.
Liz frowned at that last one but didn’t question it. She was more concerned with his sudden change in mood.
He backed away slowly. “We should get to bed.”
She could only nod and wait for him to leave. He turned when he got to the doorstop.
“Would you like me to stay with you tonight?” he asked as if she were a hotel guest.
She suddenly found herself acknowledging that no nightmare can be soothed by forced company. She shook her head without facing him and went to her dresser. When she turned back, he was gone.
Chapter 19
MATT
The next morning Matt woke up to some noise in the kitchen. He glanced at the clock on the night table, 7:20. Liz hadn’t been up this early since June. He put on his jeans and slipped his arms through a white button-down shirt as he raced down the stairs. He smelled coffee from the living room and frowned as he walked into the kitchen. Liz had laid all the mugs from
the cupboard onto the marbled kitchen island. He wasn’t sure how long Liz had been staring at them before he walked in. She pulled her eyes off the mugs and glanced at him.
“Hey,” she muttered.
“Good morning.” He raised both his eyebrows.
There was no forced smile this time when she saw him, no waiting for him to offer her anything, as she had since she’d been home, in her guest-feeling existence.
After a few short seconds, she grabbed a mug that read It’s Going to be a Good One in gold letters on a plain white background. She held it up for him with a lifted eyebrow.
He shook his head and pursed his lips.
Liz pressed her lips together and stretched her head to the side. “Well, it is now.” She placed the other seven mugs back in the cupboard and poured herself a cup of coffee.
Matt watched her for a second and went to the cupboard himself to pull out a teal and black striped short mug. It was the one Liz used the most. One that her mother had given her. He poured a cup for himself and sat on a stool across her on the kitchen island.
Liz avoided meeting his eyes and took a bite of her toast. He didn’t question her strange demeanor and sudden cold shoulder. He just sat with her and drank his coffee. She took a sip of her black coffee and met his eyes. After a second, she swallowed it down.
“You don’t like it. Why are you drinking it?”
“You’re certainly going to be no help in getting my memory back, so I think I’ll just take it from here,” she replied sternly.
Okay. She was angry. That much he understood. And could guess where it was coming from. “Liz I’m sorry about last night,” he leaned over the table, wanting to reach for her then paused and glanced down. “I don’t want to take advantage of you when you’re—.”
Liz stared at him coldly. “I’m not stupid, Matt. I can tell when you’re lying to me.”
Matt narrowed his eyes at her but didn’t argue.
“I am done listening to your pathetic blow offs of why you can’t be with me. All I needed is proof, something from you to make me believe that I’m not a stranger in this house. I’ve learned more about myself from other people than from you.” She frowned at him. “Do you even know anything about me?”
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