by Sam Elswit
His fingertips caressed my cheek in a soft, gentle manner.
I found myself nuzzling against his palm. “I do… it’s... I don’t know how to explain it.” I searched my mind for the right words to say, but nothing I came up with seemed adequate so I said nothing at all. Instead, I leaned forward, destroying the distance between our lips.
Neither one of us moved at first as if the kiss had turned us both to stone. His lips were hot to the touch, feeling like they would burn mine. Yet, I craved that heat, wanting it to consume me, to fuel the fire already burning in my stomach.
Eventually, his arms snaked around my torso, pulling me close.
At the same time, I wrapped my arms around his neck, running my fingers through his thick, still damp hair.
In the back of my mind, I knew that I shouldn’t be doing this. The pain of Andy’s betrayal was still present, but at the same time, I couldn’t pull away. Being in Phil’s arms like this felt right.
His hands rested on the small of my back, our hips locking together.
I could feel his bulge against my thigh.
Before I could dwell on his erection, however, he started to kiss me in earnest. His lips danced against my own, tasting sweet and delicious. Eager for more, I tightened my grip on his hair, letting myself get lost in the passion-filled kiss.
His tongue traced my bottom lip, asking for entrance, to which I eagerly complied. The moment his tongue was in my mouth, it tangled with mine.
It was a little awkward at first, but after a short while, we got a feel for each other’s rhythm. By the time the kiss became hot and heavy, we were in perfect sync. I could anticipate his every move, matching it with my own.
At this point, I never wanted this moment to end. It was simply perfect. Much better than anything I had shared with Andy. Even though Phil and I weren’t in a relationship, there was still so much emotion behind the kiss, so much so, that I was starting to get lightheaded.
Phil seemed to know this because he pulled away just before I could pass out.
We were both breathing hard, our chests heaving. I had never even imagined that a kiss could feel this good.
“Wow…” I murmured, looking at Phil in amazement. “You’re a really good kisser…”
“Actually… that was my first kiss.”
“What?” I shook my head. “You have to be kidding me.”
He looked down at his hands, wringing his fingers together. “No. Seriously.”
“I don’t believe it. A nice, handsome guy like you?”
He shrugged. “I’ve never been in a relationship before and I always wanted to find the right guy, you know.”
“So, why’d you kiss me?”
“I don’t know… it just felt right. I went with the flow.”
I stared at him for a moment. Was he saying that I was the one for him? The thought made my heart flutter.
Suddenly, I grabbed him by both cheeks, pulling him in for another kiss. I was starting to get addicted to his sweet, sweet taste. I just couldn’t help myself.
We fell back into a thick bed of leaves, our bodies locking together like two puzzle pieces.
Phil pulled away, propping himself up so that his body was hovering over mine. “Are you sure this is okay?”
“Don’t speak. You’ll only ruin the moment.” I whispered, pressing my finger to his lips before yanking him back down. We kissed for a moment longer before I spun us around, playfully pinning him to the ground.
A wild, breathtaking smile flashed across his face. I was stunned for a moment, unable to do anything but stare into that gorgeous face of his.
Gently, I leaned down, kissing his lips for a fleeting moment before I moved to his neck, leaving behind a trail of love bites. Phil moaned every time my teeth sunk into his flesh. The sound excited me to my very core, causing me to shiver with delight. Inside my pants, my cock throbbed with lust, desperate to be freed from its confinement.
As my lips trailed down to his collarbone, I ground against his hips, feeling his cock twitch against mine.
Unable to control my desires any further, I fumbled with the button on his pants, pulling them down to his knees, my movements becoming animalistic as I stopped listening to reason and gave in to my instincts.
Phil quickly followed suit, tearing at my clothes until somehow, he managed to roll on top of me, sucking on the soft spot between my collarbone and neck. I moaned, arching my back in pleasure, my toes curling inside my shoes. His nails ran down my side, gripping my hips before he moved between my legs, looking up at me with an innocent expression on his face.
Even though he claimed to be a virgin, he seemed to know exactly what he was doing. He took his time with me, slowly running his hands along my thighs. When I spread my legs for him, he slipped his hands dangerously close to my member.
Carefully, he took my shaft into his hand, wrapping his fingers around it before he started to stroke it up and down. His other hand reached for his balls, fondling them.
I moaned, bucking my hips.
This was crazy. Absolutely crazy.
But, I never wanted it to stop.
He stroked me faster and harder, his eyes blazing.
I moaned even louder, my fingers pulling at the grass around me. My legs wrapped around his torso, my ankles locking against the small of his back like I had no intention of ever letting him go.
My breathing grew ragged as I whispered his name.
Phil just continued to jerk me off, his features pulled into an expression of pure concentration.
Suddenly, he slowed down, taking my tip between his fingers and rolling it slowly. Back and forth, back and forth. I tilted my head back, crying out. I both loved and hated this torment. It was like Phil had a roadmap of my body. He knew my every weakness. He knew exactly where to touch me to drive me wild. His teeth nipped at exactly the right places.
God, this man was amazing.
I was about to tell him to go faster, but he was already a step ahead of me, once again wrapping his hand around my cock, stroking me hard and fast.
I did everything I could to keep back the surge of pleasure rushing through my body, wanting this moment to last a little longer, but it was hopeless. My balls tightened at the onslaught of orgasm and a second later, my hot, sticky cum came shooting out of my dick.
It landed right on his chest, decorating it in white. It was the hottest thing I had ever seen.
Phil grinned at me, looking smug. “I’m going to guess you liked it.”
“That would be an understatement.” I gasped, propping myself up with my elbow, my eyes still locked to his body, licking my lips. “It was downright amazing.”
Phil’s grin deepened before he cupped my cheek in his hand and pulled me in for a soft, tender kiss. I melted into it, my heart skipping a beat.
I hadn’t even gone all the way with this man and he already had me wrapped around his finger.
When we pulled away, I locked eyes with him. For a moment, the world stopped. Nothing else mattered but being with him and savoring every moment.
I kissed him again, feeling incomplete any time our lips were apart. My hands slithered down his back. Eventually, I reached his ass, squeezing it tightly.
His moan echoed through the woods, causing my cock to throb even in its semi-hard state. I trailed my fingers along his cheeks before I grabbed his cock in my hand. It was hot to the touch as I started to stroke it. He rolled his hips forward as I picked up the pace.
“That’s it…” I cooed with my lips on his neck, nibbling his flesh.
Even though the night was still young, I knew it was about to be the best one of my life.
No, it already was.
Chapter 12
Phil
When I left those woods, I felt like a totally new man. We didn’t go all the way, but even so, I felt like my relationship with Ben would never be the same.
As we walked down the street, Ben had his hands stuffed in his pockets, his face masked by the da
rkness.
“I hope…” The second I opened my mouth, everything I wanted to say vanished from my mind.
So, we kept walking in silence. I took the time to replay the scene. It had been so intimate and had felt so right. Everything about it had turned me on to the point of pure ecstasy. But now, as I looked at Ben, I had the sinking feeling that what we had done shouldn’t have happened.
My heart tightened at the thought. Ben was the first person I ever kissed. Even though I didn’t know him that well, there was just something that made me want to be with him, like some ethereal connection I couldn’t quite grasp.
I sighed.
“Do you want a ride home?” Ben asked as soon as we reached Scotty’s. “Emily absconded with your car, I’m guessing.”
I nodded. “If you don’t mind…”
He unlocked the doors as an answer before getting inside.
The interior of his car smelled of worn leather and an old pine tree air freshener. Underlying that, however, was Ben’s intoxicatingly sweet scent. I breathed in deeply, sinking into my seat and closing my eyes, feeling like I could stay there forever.
“You live down by Main Street, right?”
“The intersection of Main and Second.”
Ben nodded before he eased out of the parking lot. He had to crawl to the exit as belligerent college students spilled out of the pub. They were loud, shouting in each other’s ears as they jumped around, the alcohol in their systems making them hyper.
“At least Scotty’s half-price beer was a hit…” Ben mumbled under his breath.
“I think we could be too… we just need a little more rehearsal time to really smooth out our sound. Right now, there’s a bit of a clash between our styles.”
Ben considered my words for a moment before he turned on the radio, effectively cutting off any possible conversation.
Wanting to talk to him, I turned it off. “We need to talk.”
“I don’t want to talk.” He turned the radio back on.
Usually, it took a lot to get me irritated, but Ben’s childish behavior irked me in a way I had never experienced before. I couldn’t just sit there, wondering what I had done wrong. I needed answers.
I turned off the radio.
“Fine. What the hell do you want to talk about?” Ben’s voice was sour.
“Us.”
“There is no us.”
“Then how do you explain what we just did in the woods?”
“It was … a moment of weakness. Nothing more. We were both having fun.”
I shook my head. “I could tell by the look in your eye that you felt the same way about me that I felt about you. You can’t deny that. And yet, here you are, with this dire expression on your face like you just made the biggest mistake of your life.”
“Maybe I did!” Ben’s voice bellowed through the car’s small interior. He slowed to a stop, looking at me. We were in the middle of a back road, nothing around us except for trees and a thick fog. “I just got my heart broken, the last thing I need is to make the same mistake twice. What we did – it was lust – there were no emotions behind it.”
“I refuse to believe that.” I grabbed his hand, holding it tight in mine so he wouldn’t pull away. “Look me in the eye and tell me that there’s nothing between us. That the spark I feel is one-sided.”
He avoided my gaze before yanking his hand away. He started driving once more, his foot heavy on the gas until we were speeding along the curvy road.
I ground my teeth together, trying to accept what he had said, but I just couldn’t. There had to be something there. I could feel it deep in my bones and I knew I wasn’t the only one.
The rest of the car ride was awkward and silent. Ben didn’t even bother to put the radio back on.
I stared out the window, watching the trees roll by as a surge of emotions welled up inside of me. Heartbreak. Disappointment. Regret. Longing. They all swirled together in an angry vortex, leaving me confused and disoriented.
What was I supposed to do now? Pretend that what we did never actually happened? Or try to get Ben to accept the emotions he was trying so hard to suppress?
Ben stopped the car at the street corner.
“I can walk from here, I guess,” I said, my hand already on the door handle. I was just about to get out of the car when I turned, looking at him. “Look, I don’t know what you’re going through right now, but I just want you to know that what happened out there was one of the best moments of my life. If you want to tell me it was wrong, then I never want to be right.”
I got out, slamming the door. I was halfway down the street when I heard footsteps behind me.
“Phil…”
“What?” I stood there, my stance wide and defensive, my arms crossed over my chest.
“I’m sorry.” He looked down at his feet. “I’m just… scared. I don’t want what happened between Andy and me to happen to us… I like you… I really do, but I think you can understand where my hesitation is coming from.”
I stepped forward, cupping his cheek, my thumb gently caressing his skin. “I would never do that to you, Ben,” I whispered, looking deep into his eyes. “I wouldn’t even dream of doing such a thing, but if you need time to yourself, I can accept that.”
Ben seemed to think things over as he looked at me with those great big eyes of his. “Why don’t you drop by my house tomorrow night for a bit more rehearsal time? Maybe things will sound better without Emily in the room.”
I chuckled. “She’s not that bad.”
“You don’t have to live with her.” He said, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, tomorrow then?”
“Tomorrow.”
We waved before parting ways. The second his car disappeared, a deep longing spread through my chest.
I missed him already.
***
Nervously, I rang the doorbell. I didn’t know why I was so anxious. We were just practicing. Nothing more. Nothing less. Still, our time in the woods kept haunting my thoughts. The feeling of his hand wrapped around my shaft, squeezing it as he stroked me up and down. Just thinking about it made me light headed with arousal.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself.
The door opened just as my erection faded away. Ben smiled before ushering me inside. It was the first time I had seen the interior of his home. It reminded me of his car. Even though the wallpaper, furnishing, and floors were old and worn with age, everything was clean and well-maintained. And his smell was everywhere.
“I hope you don’t mind if we practice in my bedroom.”
“Not at all,” I said, trying to keep my tone cool even if my mind whirled into overdrive trying to understand why Ben might want me in his bedroom. Was he insinuating we do something together or was I just overthinking the situation?
Once on the second floor, we followed a long hallway all the way to its end.
Ben pushed open a white door.
The light from the hallway spilled into the room, illuminating a large, queen-sized bed adorned with a black comforter and some decorative throw pillows. Band posters covered nearly every inch of the walls. Some were in protective frames while others were plastered right over the wallpaper, their corners peeling.
Ben turned on the light, exposing even more band posters and a plethora of equipment stashed in the corner of the room. “Make yourself comfortable.” He said, clearing his bed of some old vinyl records.
“It’s nice in here.”
He shrugged. “It’s just a room. Nothing fancy.”
“Must be nice having your own house though.”
He scoffed. “It’s not nice when you have to share it with your sister.”
“You must get along with her well enough to buy a home together.”
Ben started to tune his guitar, ignoring me.
“At least you don’t live in an apartment building, where your neighbors are up all night screaming at the top of their lungs.”
“Wait… why are they screaming?”
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I shot him a look.
“Oh…” His cheeks grew red with realization. “I see.”
Trying to distract myself from the awkwardness that had settled between us, I grabbed a page of sheet music from the bed, glancing over the lyrics. “Did you write all these by yourself?”