A Love This True

by Leah Atwood

  “No, you are.” His refusal to accept even a morsel of responsibility bolstered her frustration, but arguing was pointless unless he removed his blinders. “Let’s just stop and get through tonight.”

  Pastor Gray knocked on the doorjamb. “Everything okay in here? Someone said they heard yelling.”

  Neither answered for a second, and Elijah gave her a sideways glance that held trepidation.

  Oh, how she’d love to tell the truth, except she wasn’t fully proud of her actions—she could have made her point in a nicer way without the raised voice and name-calling. “We were practicing our lines in a stage voice, which probably came across as yelling. Everything’s fine.”

  “Good.” Pastor Gray smiled and glanced toward the sanctuary. “We’ll be starting soon with standing room only. I haven’t seen the church this full in three years.”

  “That’s great.” She forced a smile, all while the butterflies in her stomach multiplied.

  “Break a leg.” Pastor Gray winked, then left, closing the door behind him.

  She managed to hold her laugh, but couldn’t resist shooting Elijah a smug grin. “Even Pastor Gray doesn’t think there’s a problem with the door closed.”

  He scowled. “I’m sorry, okay? Can we just put this behind us and do the show?”

  “Fine, whatever.” She sunk back into the seat, wishing the night were over. The momentary joy of victory left.

  One person had ruined tonight for her. Elijah could apologize all he wanted, but that didn’t change how he felt. His opinion she could deal with—it was of little to no consequence to her since she didn’t know him. Except, if that’s how he felt, it was a certainty others in the church also felt that way.

  She couldn’t blame them, though she had hoped and prayed the situation would be different. After she’d been welcomed by numerous people, she’d allowed herself to believe she could find a place in her childhood church, but Elijah had crushed that dream.

  This would be the last time she stepped foot in this church. Her family would be upset, but they’d realize this was for the best. Her presence would only serve as a distraction to the congregation. She’d take a few weeks to regroup, continue adjusting to this new life, and then seek other churches and hopefully find one that would accept her, past sins and all.

  Chapter Five

  Elijah knocked on the door to the pastor’s office and waited for him to look up. “Do you need anything from me before I leave for the day?”

  “I saw your report about the youth’s winter camp last weekend, but do you have any photos you can email me? The association asked for several pictures to include with their newsletter.”

  “Sure. Anything else?”

  “That’s it. Any big plans for the weekend?”

  “Resting.” Elijah grinned. “I’m still not caught up on sleep from last weekend.”

  Pastor Gray chuckled. “A few years ago, our youth minister at the time had a family emergency the day before the youth left, and I had to step in and take them. My sermon that next week was on God’s plan for rest.”

  Elijah burst into a fit of laughter. “Well fitting.”

  “It’s worth all the effort though, isn’t it?” Leaning back in his office chair, Pastor Gray smiled. “Connecting with our youth becomes more difficult for me every year, but I loved that time of getting to know them better and witnessing their eagerness for life.”

  “Our church has a great community of youth. I’ve seen them grow a lot in the four months I’ve been here.”

  “You’ve done a great job. The congregation is pleased with your work.”

  “Thank you.” He squelched the burst of pride, didn’t want to get too comfortable and relaxed in his position.

  Plus, he knew he’d messed up plenty. Trixie hadn’t returned to church since the night of the nativity play. No one had said as such, but he knew he held the blame. A month later, it still made him mad. He still didn’t understand the big deal about keeping the door open, and he wouldn’t apologize for protecting reputations—his and hers—but he could have been more tactful in his actions.

  Besides, she hadn’t been completely innocent. She’d thrown harsh accusations at him that continued to sting. He welcomed anyone into church, no matter who they were or what they had done, but behaviors had consequences. Why was that so hard for her to understand?

  Walking to his office, he shook his head. Women—they were complicated creatures. That’s why he and Ella, his ex-girlfriend, had gotten along so well. She wasn’t like other women and didn’t play games, but neither had she been brash. Her demeanor made her the perfect candidate for a pastor’s wife, but there had been no chemistry between them and they’d peacefully broken up last spring.

  He sat behind his desk and straightened the piles of curriculum samples he’d spread out earlier. None of them stood out to him. Many were outdated and didn’t address the issues the current generation faced. One was much too open-minded in their approach and made him blush. He couldn’t imagine presenting that to the pastor for approval. Why had Pastor Gray tasked him with this, anyway? Come fall, he’d leave and attend seminary. Whoever came in after him should be the person to decide what program to use. Either way, he’d been assigned the job, so he’d continue to search.

  Before he got distracted and forgot, he logged into his computer and opened the camp picture files. He clicked through the hundreds of pictures, laughed at many of them, including a few of him that others had secretly snapped. Whoever caught him mid-fall while snow tubing down the hill should win an award. They’d captured his wide-eyed expression and surprise with astonishing insight for an amateur.

  How could he narrow the choices down to a few? They all captured great memories, some serious, many fun and goofy. He opted for one right after he’d confiscated cell phones. Sick of seeing everyone with necks bent, he took the phones away and a wonderful thing happened. The kids interacted and enjoyed each other’s company. Granted, he found out later they’d been planning a prank on him, but it had been worth the ice-cold water dropped on him.

  Not all the kids had made it into that photo, so he searched for one that showed the others. He found one of their morning devotions where the kids sat in a glass-enclosed sun room with a perfect view of the snow-covered ground outside. He attached his choices in an email and sent them to Pastor Gray.

  He powered off his computer and cleared his desk. Ready to leave for the day, he couldn’t wait to go home and do nothing. Until last weekend, he didn’t realize what a vast difference there was between his eighteen-year-old and twenty-three-year-old body. Staying up all night to study for a final took far less energy and recuperation time than passing the midnight hours participating in scavenger hunts and listening to teen boys tell jokes that weren’t funny.

  As he stood to his feet, he heard footsteps nearing his office. Several seconds later, Aiden and Lara appeared in his doorway. They held hands, and their faces portrayed fear, insecurity, and confusion.

  “Do you have time to talk?” Aiden’s voice shook, a full turnaround from the confident child he’d been when Elijah first came to the church.

  “Yes.” He let go of his disappointment and put on his counseling hat. “Have a seat.”

  Aiden let go of Lara and held a chair out for her. He had to give the boy some credit for showing manners, but then, he never should have gotten Lara in this situation to begin with.

  Elijah sat down and apprised the boy he hadn’t seen since before Christmas. “How have you been?”

  “Better.” Aiden bit down on his bottom lip.

  Lara’s shoulders shook, appearing like she was about to cry. “We’re confused.”

  Give me wisdom, Lord. He treaded carefully, unsure of the full situation. “Is this about the baby?”

  She nodded, and then burst into tears.

  “My parents aren’t happy at all and aren’t relenting.” Aiden dropped his gaze to the floor. “They threatened to kick me out and take away my college fund
if Lara has this baby.”

  He couldn’t mean… “They want Lara to give the baby up for adoption?”

  Lara shook her head and cried harder.

  “Abortion,” Aiden whispered.

  A sucker punch slammed Elijah in the gut and anger overcame him. Maybe he should call Pastor Gray to help with this serious matter—but the kids had come to him. “How do you feel about that?”

  “I love this baby.” Lara cradled her stomach through the tears. “But I don’t want Aiden’s life ruined because of me.”

  Before he could remind them that they’d both made the choices that caused this pregnancy, Aiden launched into a speech. “I don’t believe in abortion, but how can I provide for a child? I can’t afford college on my own. I can’t even afford my car payment, which my parents said they’d stop paying for.”

  These kids were too young to face these decisions. They had no concept of providing for themselves, let alone a child, but now they were faced with that very real prospect. He understood their fear, especially with one set of parents threatening severe action.

  What mattered most right now was saving this baby’s life, by whatever means necessary.

  He turned his attention to Lara. “What have your parents said?”

  “They’re disappointed in me, but they have been supportive. Mom said she will watch the baby next school year so I can finish my senior year and graduate.”

  “That’s great. You’re very fortunate to have a family network that will be there for you.” He uttered a silent prayer of thanks for her parents and breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t believe this baby’s life was in danger now, but rather he faced two kids who needed a sounding board to sort through their emotions.

  “I know it won’t be easy, but I really want this baby.” Lara looked down at her stomach with a distant glaze to her eye.

  “Me too.” Aiden removed his ball cap and twisted it in his hands. “I can’t imagine doing what my parents want me to, but I’m scared.”

  “I understand being scared, and that’s natural. You’re facing a situation that will drastically change your life forever. However, continuing with the pregnancy is the right thing to do and you have that on your side.” He laced his hands, considering his words carefully. Aiden’s parents weren’t faithful members of the church, but came often enough to be considered regulars. From what he knew of them, their reaction seemed out of character with their beliefs. “Would you like me to visit your parents and speak with them?”

  Aiden continued fiddling with his hat. “I’m not sure it would do any good.”

  “I’m willing to try.” He leaned back. “I could be wrong, but I don’t believe they mean their threats. It sounds like they're scared for you and acting out of that fear.”

  “What if they aren’t?” Lara had stopped crying, but her voice remained shaky.

  “We’ll take it one step at a time, and as a church, we won’t allow Aiden to be on the streets. Both of you belong to this church family and together, we’ll make it through this.”

  “Even though we sinned?” Aiden’s single raised brow conveyed his skepticism—for kids who had grown up in church, a teen pregnancy topped the list of infractions.

  “Haven’t we all?” Flashes of clarity illuminated his inner vision, and he understood all he hadn’t about Mrs. Graff, Pastor Gray, and Trixie.

  He hadn’t seen it until he came face to face with it and realized his advice would make the difference in two young lives. Three, including the baby. He could stay on his high horse, point fingers, and push them away when they need Jesus the most—or he could love on these teens and help keep them on the right track during this pivotal time.

  It wasn’t about approving or condemning, but showing the love of Jesus.

  Trixie had been absolutely correct. His attitude wouldn’t draw anyone to church, only push them away. Forgive me, Lord. Guide me and grant me wisdom as I advise Aiden and Lara. Give me the right words to say so that wise choices are made and Your love is on display at all times. He had a phone call to make tonight, one he didn’t want to make but knew was necessary. First, he had to finish this meeting with Aiden and Lara. He had the feeling there would be many more over the next several months.

  An idea formed. Would she go for it? He didn’t know, but it gave him a reason to call Trixie that would give him a lead-in to his apology.

  “Lara, would it help you to speak to another woman who has been in a situation similar to yours?”

  Her eyes widened, and a glimmer of hope surfaced in her tear-moistened eyes. “Do you know someone?”

  “I might.” It surprised him that Lara hadn’t immediately thought about Trixie—he thought everyone in Jasper Lake, especially the church, knew her story—but apparently not. “I’ll call her this weekend and let you know on Sunday.”

  “Thank you, Pastor Eli.” She smiled then blew her nose.

  “You’re welcome, though I can’t promise she’ll agree.” He turned his attention back to Aiden. “When would be a good time to talk to your parents?”

  “If you’re really serious, tomorrow morning. Dad leaves for a business trip on Monday.”

  There went his easy weekend, but he had to get used to it—pastors lived on-call. It came with the position, and anyone unwilling to have their life interrupted, didn’t belong there. “Why don’t I come by around nine, and I’ll bring donuts from the bakery.”

  “Mom likes the angel crème coconut ones,” Aiden said, as though donuts could miraculously solve all the world’s problems.

  They didn’t, but food did break down barriers. It’s why so many churches had fellowships and potlucks after services. “What about your dad?”

  “Plain glazed.” Aiden settled his ball cap on his tilted head. “Why are you being so nice? No offense, but I kind of thought you were a stick in the mud.”

  Elijah ignored the insult though he earned it honestly. “Two months ago, I can’t say I’d have the same reaction, but my primary mission is to lead my students into a relationship with Christ and prepare them to stand strong in Christ when they face adversity. If I turned away from you now, I’d fail at that.”

  Aiden grinned, coming off much more like the teenager he was. “I guess I should take back all those things I said about you.”

  Laughing, Elijah waved his hand. “Get out of here, and find some good, wholesome fun to get into. I’ll see you tomorrow, and Lara, I’ll talk to you on Sunday and let you know either way.”

  The teens left out, their shoulders higher than when they’d come in.

  Elijah watched them from his office window as they walked to Aiden’s car—a nicer model than what he drove. He couldn’t wonder if his parents’ indulgence had led to Aiden’s behavior and now they thought they could crack down after years of leniency. He stopped himself mid-thought, deciding he didn’t have enough information to make a decision.

  Besides, hadn’t he learned a valuable lesson about judging? He hated apologizing. It didn’t come easy and made him feel small no matter how gracious the person accepted it.

  His gut told him Trixie wouldn’t take it graciously, and he couldn’t say he’d blame her after how he’d treated her.

  Chapter Six

  Trixie opened the sliding glass door leading to her parents’ deck. She crossed her arms for warmth as a shiver passed over her. If she wanted to admire the freshly fallen snow, she’d have to add more layers to her boot socks, sweatpants and heavy cable-knit sweater. Looking down at her outfit, she giggled. She wouldn’t win any fashion awards today.

  A gust of wind blew through the open crack before she closed the door. Oh yeah, it’s a hot chocolate type of morning. She snuck to the kitchen to heat water, determined to sneak a mug in before Alice woke up. Very little in this world compared to those silent moments alone in the morning.

  She checked the monitor hooked to her waistband and saw Alice sound asleep. Her mom had bought the monitor the week Trixie had come home after insisting she and Alice sta
y at their house until Trixie got back on her feet. Now that she had the monitor, she didn’t know how she’d lived without it for nine months. That’s right… I lived in a tiny studio apartment that I could cross in fifteen steps.

  Mom sat at the kitchen island, sipping a cup of coffee. “You’re up early?”

  “I thought I heard Alice, but it must have been in my dream.” She put the tea kettle under the faucet and added water. “I could say the same for you.”

  “Your dad’s snoring woke me up.” Mom winked. “Plus, I treasure these early morning moments. They’re so peaceful.”

  “I had that same thought as I was walking in here.” She put her hand on the knob for the burner but didn’t turn it yet. “And now I’m interrupting your quiet time, aren’t I?”

  “Not at all. Put your water on and have a seat.”

  She turned the heat on high and sat on a stool across from her mom. “What are your plans for today?”

  “Visit Hunter and then Dad wants to shop for a new sofa.”

  The mention of her brother dampened her good mood. “How is he?”

  “As good as can be expected.” Mom frowned and pushed away her mug. “Last week he mentioned attending a Bible study.”

  “That’s good.”

  “He’d love to see you. He asks about you every visit.” The hopeful gleam in Mom’s eye couldn’t be disguised.

  “I will… soon.” The kettle whistled. She left her seat and made her hot chocolate, then sat down again and stirred the sweet drink. “I know I don’t have any room to talk about bad decisions, but it’s hard to reconcile him now with that brother I knew and looked up to.”

  Mom licked her lips, a smidgen of nervousness in her tight smile. “I understand. Not a day goes by I don’t ask myself where I went wrong as a mom.”

  “You did everything right. Hunter and I are adults and made those decisions on our own.” She attempted a sip, but the hot chocolate was too hot. “I take full responsibility for being immature and selfish. Being the youngest, I always had a lot of attention, then suddenly it was all on Hunter after his arrest. I was stupid and tried to regain my share of attention by acting out, then got in too deep.”