Broken Leaves of Autumn

by Eli Hai

  It was ten past eight. The store would open in another fifty minutes—enough time to read the paper. Occasionally, he sipped from the coffee placed on his table. Managing the store had become easier and simpler lately and, sometimes, it was downright boring. Most of the work was done by the staff and junior managers, so that he, himself, remained almost idle. Apart from the important decisions discussed in his room from time to time, and keeping track of the business’s expenses, he didn’t do a thing. At noon, he’d lunch with Eve or Rico. Eve loved fancy, expensive restaurants, and every time she heard about a new, recommended restaurant, he would book a place in advance to make her happy. With Rico, he liked eating at greasy workers’ restaurants or crowded diners. It reminded them of their previous life as laborers. Even though they could now afford any restaurant, they stuck with street food. Twice, he’d even crossed the Brooklyn bridge and met Ahron for lunch at a kosher restaurant. These were their only meetings as cousins. Naturally, they discussed Aunt Rachel, Pam, Rivka, and the miracle that had brought them together. They reminisced about Jeff’s first day in the city and, once, Jeff took advantage of the opportunity and asked Ahron what had compelled him to approach Jeff in the mini-market, and offer him help.

  “The finger of God. A strange, unexplainable urge. I can’t explain it. Perhaps, who knows, something about the way you looked or walked reminded me of our family.”

  “My laugh,” Jeff joked.

  “What about it?” Ahron asked in puzzlement.

  “You were the one who said my laughter reminded you of Rivka’s laughter,” Jeff reminded him.

  “Oh! You’re right! On the other hand, when I approached you, you weren’t laughing at all. You were down in the dumps. I think I just felt sorry for you,” Ahron summarized with a smile.

  Thus, Jeff found himself, for the first time, pondering the long, strange journey he’d made since leaving Eloy. In hindsight, he admitted that he’d been especially lucky. His situation couldn’t have been better. Even his mother, after endless wheedling and cajoling, had agreed to leave Eloy and now lived next to him in protected accommodation. And Pam—who would’ve believed—had fallen under Israel’s spell and made Aliyah. She was so happy there, that during their last conversation, she told him she was seriously considering studying Judaism and registering as a Jew. He remembered their visit to Israel.

  “Why don’t you move to Israel?” Rachel suggested, only half joking.

  “I don’t think so, Aunt Rachel,” he declined gently.

  “Why?” she insisted.

  “Our livelihood is in New York,” Eve answered, instead of him. “Besides, I don’t understand why people would leave a safe place for a dangerous one, rife with war and terror attacks.”

  “She’s right,” Jeff agreed. “Aunt Rachel, times are different than they used to be.”

  “The land of Israel is the land of the Jews. This is where they should live, for better or for worse. Things aren’t better in the diaspora. What, there weren’t terror attacks in New York? Is there a place safe from attacks? There’s no safer place for Jews than Israel. And I know what I’m talking about,” Rachel declared firmly, ignoring the fact that Eve and Jeff were Christians.

  “I’m willing to seriously consider it, on condition that I find work,” Pam surprised everyone by saying.

  “Work? That’s not a problem at all. You can work on the kibbutz. Even if you don’t have a profession, you can work in the kitchen or dairy farm,” Amir enthused.

  “No way! I worked there, and it was awful. We have to find her a good job, a job that she can enjoy and that will support her financially,” Rivka interfered.

  “The question is if there’s something else she knows how to do,” Amir said defensively.

  “I-I, …” Pam hesitated. “I know how to ride horses.”

  “Great!” Amir exclaimed. “There’s a ranch a half hour away by car. I’m sure if you’re a good enough rider, they’ll hire you.”

  When Pam found her place, Jeff was vastly relieved. The road to her recovery hadn’t been easy, for both of them. For months, as per her doctor’s instructions, he spent his weekends traveling to see her, sitting for hours by her bed, and taking care of her. Slowly, she regained her confidence; her mood improved; and finally, she started talking again. When she recovered, she came with him to New York and stayed at his place for several weeks. At the time, they’d spent a lot of time with each other, and she’d even helped him manage the store. He was so happy to see her so relaxed, focused, and full of life. When she heard about their Jewish aunt who lived in Israel, she was thrilled and asked to go visit her. Who would’ve believed that his Pammy now lived in Israel?

  His phone rang, cutting off his thoughts. It was Eve.

  “Hey, hubby,” she joked.

  “Hey, yourself, my love. How’s work?” he asked.

  “Just got here. Why do you ask?”

  “No reason,” he replied without adding a thing.

  “You sound tense.”

  “Just a weird feeling. But now that you’ve called, I’m okay.”

  “Okay, love. Have a lovely day. I have to hang up. Everyone’s waiting for me to start a meeting. I’ll call when it’s over.”

  “When?” he asked insistently, glancing at his watch. It was half past eight.

  “About an hour, maybe a bit more.”

  When he ended the call, he noticed that Eve had called him from her mobile phone. Usually, she called him from the office landline. Which meant her meeting was out of the office, a meeting she hadn’t told him about. He thought that strange but chose not to overthink it. Ever since they’d left home, he’d been plagued by a bad feeling and he couldn’t stop worrying. Random things drew his attention and bothered him. The heavy feeling made his thoughts run wild: what would happen if she got hurt during the last months of her pregnancy? The doctor did mention something about a high-risk pregnancy. And what if something went wrong when she gave birth? This was a twin birth; no doubt it increased the risk during childbirth. And a difficult birth could risk the mother’s life. …

  He returned to the paper in an attempt to shove aside his negative thoughts, which Eve, the eternal optimist, couldn’t abide. However, after some time, he dropped the paper uninterested. He wouldn’t have felt the difference had he read yesterday’s paper. All the items seemed equally boring and tedious, as though repeating themselves. When he put down the paper, he thought about his new family. His relationship with his aunt and Rivka had grown stronger. So much so, that they regularly spoke on the phone or emailed. Yesterday, Rivka wrote to him that she was getting married. When he read her email, he was happy and extremely excited. He remembered what he’d promised her then, in the basement apartment. One day, you’ll realize your beauty and worth. On that day, you’ll find love.

  That day had arrived. Rivka was getting married. The wedding would take place next spring, which meant he and Eve would once again board an El-Al plane, and go to Israel. But by then, they’d have two little souls, two weepy toddlers. Oh, the joy! How happy he’d be to show the little ones to his new family. How happy Rachel would be that her sister Hannah had been blessed with two great-grandchildren, and soon, great-great-grandchildren. She’d told him that the family she’d raised in Israel was her revenge on the Nazis, God curse them and their memories. Now, she had gotten to know that Hannah, her beloved sister, had also had her revenge and had left her large familial mark on this world.

  When he thought of Rivka’s wedding, he wondered if her family would push their pride aside and arrive from Brooklyn. If so, how would they plan a wedding, in which both parties came from such different worlds? Even during their visit to Israel, they’d talked about it in detail. Rivka was afraid that her wedding would be like Dvora’s wedding—that only the groom’s side would attend. But Rachel assured her immediately, “Don’t worry, Rivkel. Your family will arrive. There’s no other option. Even if I have to fly to New York and bring them myself. They’ll come to your wedding!”<
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  Jeff opened his inbox and sent Rivka an email.

  Hi, Rivka. How are you? I was happy to hear that you and Yoav were getting married. Being married is great fun. You’ll find that out yourself very soon. You’ve made a very good choice. Yoav is a great guy. Have you told the family? If not, I’d like to tell Ahron myself. See you, Jeff.

  “Good morning!” he heard Rico sing just as he shot off the email.

  “Morning, Rico.” He raised his head.

  “What’s the matter? What’s having you so preoccupied?”

  “Nothing special,” Jeff said.

  “Doesn’t look that way. I heard you scolding Clara and realized you were a bit antsy this morning. Something happen?”

  “Nothing. Don’t be a pain in the ass. I’m a bit stressed out. I’m allowed, right?”

  “Sure you are. But don’t take your anger out on the cleaning lady. The poor girl came to my office in tears. She didn’t understand what had happened to Mr. Jeff.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. I’ll call her soon and apologize. Come on in, in the meantime. Why are you standing? You need something?”

  “Nope. Just passing by to see if everything’s okay with you. No harm, right?”

  “No harm at all! Can I order you a coffee?”

  “No thanks. Already had one.”

  “You remember Rivka?” Jeff changed the subject.

  “Sure.”

  “Yesterday, she sent me an email telling me she was getting married.”

  “Great! Congratulations! You see? Things have a way of working out. I remember how worried you were about her,” Rico said enthusiastically.

  “You’re right. Things do work out,” Jeff said, but his expression remained thoughtful and worried.

  “So, why do you look so bad, brother? That’s not like you,” Rico stated.

  “I don’t know. … Something’s bothering me, and I don’t know what. Did that ever happen to you, that something bothered you, and you didn’t know what?”

  “Sure.”

  “I’ve had a bad feeling since this morning. A heaviness. I can’t explain it. A feeling that something bad is going to happen.…”

  “Let’s try to find out what’s bothering you, brother. Your mother is safe, your sister is happy, your wife is about to give birth to twins. You’ve found your lost family, you’ve built a glorious business, and, now, Rivka is getting married.… All you need now is to win the lottery!” Rico guffawed, causing Jeff to smile for the first time that morning.

  “If I win the lottery, I promise you a fair share,” Jeff promised.

  “But, boss, you don’t buy lottery tickets…so a fair share of nothing is nothing.” Rico laughed again.

  “What are you talking about?” Jeff huffed. “I bought a ticket a month ago, and you know—”

  Jeff never finished the sentence. Deafening explosions, the likes of which he’d never heard, cut him off. The earth shook beneath their feet. They had no doubt that the explosions and thundering noise came from nearby. The employees of the store, which hadn’t opened yet, immediately ran out to the street. Rico and Jeff also leaped up and frantically ran outside. The streets were already swarming with frightened people. Jeff surveyed the sidewalk at length but didn’t notice anything that indicated something had happened.

  “Here, it’s there, look!” someone yelled, pointing at the sky.

  Thick, black smoke billowed toward the sky.

  “Where is it?” someone else asked.

  “I think it’s the World Trade Center!”

  Thick, black smoke rose from the Twin Towers. From every direction, they heard the wailing of the rescue vehicle sirens, which had started rushing toward the buildings. Something terrible had happened. But what…

  “It’s already on the news!” yelled one of the cashiers, and all of the employees rushed back to the store. They couldn’t believe their eyes. A passenger plane had flown straight into one of the buildings, crashing into it and splitting it in two. A huge flame burst from the building. The plane smashed to pieces, and its fragments, which flew in every direction, looked like gigantic fireworks. Looking at the footage, which was broadcasted repeatedly, it didn’t look like an accident, but a plane aimed at the heart of the building.

  “This can’t be,” Jeff whispered, his face as white as a ghost’s. He had to call Eve, he had to call Eve. …

  “This is crazy!” Rico exclaimed in panic.

  All of the employees panicked. One employee started screaming and crying, and when she finally fell silent, she started trembling.

  “Calm down, there’s nothing to be afraid of. We’re far away from there,” Rico tried to reassure her.

  “My brother, my brother’s there,” her voice shook. “My brother works there, in the building that was hit.”

  “Rico, calm her down, and then send everyone home. There’s no point in them staying here. I don’t think we’ll be able to open the shop today,” Jeff instructed with what little strength he had left.

  Several minutes passed, and only the explosions echoing from the television broke the silence in the empty store. Jeff tried to call Eve. There was no answer at her office. He tried her cellphone but kept getting voicemail.

  “Don’t stress, brother,” Rico tried to calm him. “All the communication systems must’ve collapsed. Don’t go putting crazy stuff in your head. Eve works far away from the towers. I don’t think you have any reason to worry.”

  “But she’s not at the office,” Jeff replied, choking up. “In the morning, when she dropped me off, she turned at 47th Street, which means she didn’t go to the office. Then she called me from her cell phone. When she’s in the office, she always calls from her landline.”

  “That still doesn’t mean anything. I think you’re stressing yourself over nothing. Everything’s such a mess now, and everyone probably left their offices to see what happened. She must be down somewhere. She probably forgot to grab her phone, from the shock.”

  “If you had to drive from here to the World Trade Center, where would you turn?” Jeff inquired.

  “I don’t know,” Rico answered, although he knew that he’d probably turn where Eve had turned.

  “I’d take 47th Street,” Jeff thought out loud. Then he added, “I think I’ll go to her. I have to know she’s okay.”

  “Are you crazy? The streets are jammed with rescue vehicles. You’ll just bother them. It’ll take you hours to get to her.”

  “Take me as far as you can, and I’ll walk from there,” Jeff ordered, and Rico was left with no other choice.

  In the end, the drive to Eve’s office took only minutes. But it seemed like an eternity to Jeff. The roads were empty. It seemed as though traffic had frozen in place.

  When they arrived, Rico stopped with a screech of brakes at the building’s entrance. Jeff ran out of the car, ignoring the security officer’s protests. He entered the elevator panting. When the elevator reached the sixty-second floor, he discovered all the employees in the hallway, watching the impending drama on the television. Among them, he found Jessica.

  “Where’s Eve?” he asked.

  “I…don’t know,” she stammered.

  “What do you mean, you don’t know? You’re her secretary, aren’t you?” Jeff grasped her shoulders and shook her.

  “She had a meeting out of the office this morning, and hasn’t arrived since…” The secretary’s body trembled.

  “Where was the meeting?”

  “At the Twin Towers…” she mumbled in terror, her face white as a ghost’s.

  Chapter 23

  A freezing autumn wind whispered against the silence of the cemetery, carrying dry leaves to the mute headstones. The whisper of the wind sounded like silent weeping, as though wishing to share the sorrow of the mourners in the funeral process, who, like the wind, wept. When they gathered and stood as one over the open grave, the weeping stopped and the eulogy began.

  “Don’t cry for me, don’t cry. N
o more tears! Why cry? Why shed even one tear if I was happy in my life and peaceful in my death? I know you stand, surrounding me and wondering, how? How is it possible that after what I’ve been through, I use the words ‘happy and peaceful’? Indeed, you’re right! There’s room for your question.

  “I had a life filled with ups and downs. Bad people, people of injustice, threatened to cut them off at their start. They set a large fire, and it threatened to consume everything. The flame didn’t skip almost anyone. Big and small, man and woman, the fire wished to burn them all in its flames. True, I was fortunate and didn’t have to witness the horrors that occurred in the camps. Nevertheless, I carry within me the sights of black smoke rising above, and, with it, rise the broken screams of my family. I’ve kept in my heart the sight of the tortured faces of those burned at the stake. They’ve followed me everywhere I went, and every minute of the day. At night, when I rested my head on my pillow, in the morning, when I opened my eyes.

  “Indeed, those days were filled with sorrow. Indescribable sorrow was my lot in life, and yet, at the end of the day, my life has been a good one. Fate, surprisingly, was kind to me. It plucked me out of the valley of death and gave me a lively family life—many children and grandchildren. God sent me a gentile woman, a Polish peasant, who in her mercy, saved me from the devil’s butcher knife and gave me my life back. Then, fate came and surprised me again, when it sent to my home two charming, lovely girls, the daughters of my sisters, Gittel and Hannah. They didn’t come alone but were accompanied by an angel, an angel who saved me from the agonizing yearning for my sister.

  “I will shamelessly admit, Jeff, that when the man from the agency came, I was confused. I didn’t know whether it was good or bad. Yet, when I first saw you, my heart sang. It was as though I’d met my sister herself.

  “Now, as you all stand united, my soul is calm. Because what more can a person ask for? Indeed, my life has been good, and I have no complaints. But even good things, especially good things, must end. I feel my time approaching, the hourglass running out of time. I feel, with all my heart and soul, the moment of truth approaching. In several days, or weeks, or months, I will follow the path of man, and I will do so gladly. So, don’t cry for me, because I’ve been happy in my life and peaceful in my death. Yours with love, Rachel.”