by Jenny Hale
Her mom poked her head out the door. “Y’all seen Casey? Is she out here?”
They both shook their heads.
“Maybe she went out to the car or something. There’s no telling. Anyone want more drinks or are we finished for the night?”
“I’m finished, thank you,” Faith said. “Nan?” She looked over at her grandmother, chewing on a smile. She had such a young spirit. It was easy to forget that she was ninety, but being with her now, Faith could see some differences in Nan. She was slower, more hesitant. At heart, though, she was the same fiery woman. It was so good to be with her again.
“I’ve got enough right here,” she said.
When her mom went back inside, Faith noticed Casey down on the beach. “Mind if I leave you now?” she asked, nodding toward her sister. Nan followed her gaze, thoughts clearly behind her eyes. She nodded with a pleasant smile.
“But before you go,” Nan said as she stood up. Faith stopped and turned toward her. “I don’t know what’s bothering Casey—she hasn’t told me—but you two need to talk it out. Life’s too short to tuck important conversations in your pocket for later. You just never know. I had an argument with my sister, Clara. You never met her. We didn’t straighten things out, and now it’s too late.”
Faith started to sit back down, ready to hear about this mystery sister of Nan’s, but Nan stopped her. “No, no,” she said, waving her hand. “Don’t bother with me and my old stories. Go check on Casey. It looks like she may need someone to talk to.”
Perhaps it was a story for another time. Faith walked around the corner and headed down the steps. At the bottom, she kicked her flip-flops off and put her toes in the warm sand. It was soft—like powder—under her feet. She padded along the narrow path, through the sea grass, over the dune leading to the beach. It was late afternoon, and the sand, having absorbed the day’s heat, burned her feet a little as she made her way across the vast shoreline to reach Casey. Her sister was at the water’s edge, barefoot, standing in the waves as the foam crawled across the sand before sliding back out to sea. The wind blew Faith’s hair into her face, her T-shirt rippling under its force. She pushed her hair back and held it at the base of her neck as she stepped up next to her sister.
“Whacha doin’?” she asked Casey the same way she had as a girl. Faith drew a line in the sand with her brightly painted toes and watched it disappear as the tide erased it.
“Just thinking. Trying to clear my head.”
The waves were rough, pushing gritty sand around Faith’s feet and she had to move them around to keep them from getting buried. As a child, the waves had scared Faith when they were this big. She’d worried they were giant, gray creatures rolling on their sides. Each one slammed the shore in an eruption of white, bubbly foam then fanned out along the ground like spilled milk. Faith took in a big gulp of the salty air. The smell of it took her right back to her childhood. So many memories were colliding in her mind that she had trouble sorting out which one to let float to her consciousness. Roasting marshmallows, her mom squirting chocolate sauce on them just to make the girls giggle; eating sandwiches with wet, sandy hands; a rainbow of brightly colored beach towels on the line outside; shopping at the local kite store for the perfect kite and flying it—just the three of them at Jockey’s Ridge—the wind so strong, Faith could hardly hold on to it…
“I’m glad I came,” Casey said, pulling her back to reality. “I wasn’t going to.”
Faith turned to her sister, waiting for further explanation. She, herself had been worried about coming, self-conscious about her decision to stay away from her sister for all of that time, but it had never occurred to her that Casey may be anxious about coming too. For the first time, she realized that perhaps seeing Faith again wasn’t easy for Casey either.
It was clear to Faith by Casey’s silence over the years that she didn’t feel what she’d done was so awful—she had tried to explain it to Faith a few times—but Faith had always her short, not wanting to hear Casey’s side of things. How could what Casey had done ever be right? But now, as she looked at her sister, the age lines starting to show around her eyes, she realized that she’d been too stubborn. She should have at least heard her sister out. What would Casey have said? Would she have asked for forgiveness? Would she have told her she wanted her sister back? Perhaps she should have talked to her instead of holding on to old grudges.
“Why weren’t you going to come?” she asked. Faith was ready to hear her side of things now.
“I didn’t want my situation to bring everyone down. This is Nan’s time. It’s her birthday. I want her to be happy. I told Mom and Nan that Scott was working when I arrived without him. It’s the truth. Well, half-truth. I didn’t know if it was the right time to tell them…”
How silly of Faith to think that Casey had been worried about seeing her again. Faith acknowledged that Casey’s impending divorce from Scott was awful, and it might upset Mom and Nan, but what about the fact that she and Casey hadn’t spoken in years? What about that? Faith let out a huff of indignation loud enough to make Casey turn her head.
“What was that for?” Casey said, a twinge of panic on her face. Were Faith’s feelings not even in the forefront of her mind? Faith could feel the ache in her throat, the unsaid feelings still right there on the end of her tongue, but she took in a breath and turned to face the wind.
“What’s wrong with you?” Casey said, her words coming out urgently as if she were preparing for a blow, for some sort of confrontation. She knew just as well what was wrong, but she wasn’t going to say it, was she?
Well, Faith wasn’t staying quiet anymore. She could feel the anger from Casey’s selfishness swelling in her chest, and it had to come out. “Weren’t you worried at all about dealing with this?” She wagged her finger between them, noticing the tremble in her hands from built up anger. She wasn’t trying to play down the divorce—that was a big deal—but this was a big deal too. Even with their differences, Casey had been Faith’s best friend growing up, the one person she knew better than anyone else. And Casey had just let her walk away.
“Of course I was. I just didn’t want to bring up old wounds. I just want to move past it,” she said, her words coming out controlled and even, like they would in a courtroom. There was a moment as Casey looked at her when her strong expression faltered. Without warning, tears surfaced in her eyes, but she blinked to clear them and then they were gone.
With all her childhood memories at this beach right on the surface, it occurred to Faith that the reason this was such a lovely place was because they’d had fun here. That’s why she and Casey had been so close. No matter what had happened in the past, Casey needed her now. She’d have to be the bigger person here. Faith hadn’t let Casey explain herself because she didn’t want to hear Casey’s lame excuse for hurting her. She didn’t want an excuse then, and she didn’t want one now. She simply wanted an apology, an acknowledgment that Casey had hurt her. And if she ever wanted to hear that, she couldn’t put Casey in a position where she felt defensive. The only way to feel close again was to try to enjoy themselves.
“I haven’t ever let you explain, and I’m sorry. So I have an idea,” Faith said, turning the conversation in a totally different direction. It was time for her to take charge for once. She’d never done it before with Casey, but she’d learned to be strong. She knew she could. She’d always followed Casey’s lead, but right now, it seemed like, even though Faith had her own trust issues to deal with regarding Casey, they were in the past. Casey was losing a husband and the father to her daughter. “We’re on vacation. For two weeks. Let’s act like we’re on vacation. Leave all the baggage behind—the past, work, Scott. I will if you will.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“Why? Look at this place. It’s amazing! It’s just like what we had as children. Let’s give that to Isabella. Let’s take it back for ourselves. We’ll deal with the rest in two weeks.” She stood still and looked at her sister.
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Casey’s face showed contemplation. Then, a small smile emerged. “You’re right,” she said, nodding. Despite her agreement, she was clearly still thinking it over. But, one thing Faith knew about her sister was that when faced with the half-empty, half-full conundrum, Casey always chose half full. “Okay!” She laughed then, and unexpectedly, her laughter sent prickles of excitement up Faith’s arms. She hadn’t heard Casey’s laugh in so many years. It took until that moment to realize how much she’d missed it.
FOUR
Tap, tap, tap.
The hum of the paddle fan floated into Faith’s consciousness.
Tap, tap, tap.
Was there something wrong with the fan? The tapping came and went, but each time, it was the same—three taps and then silence. Faith rubbed her face to get enough focus to look at the clock. She blinked to try and see the numbers.
Tap, tap, tap.
Nine in the morning! She hadn’t slept that long in ages. She threw the covers off her legs, her silky shorts and camisole cool against her skin, and walked over to the window. She pulled back the sheer, gauzy fabric, the only barrier between her and the sun. Before she could focus on the view, she jumped with fright.
“Oh!” she cried, dropping the curtain and covering her mouth. She stood there for a moment, collecting herself.
Tap, tap, tap.
This time, the taps were right on the window. She swallowed, blinked her eyes again to clear them, and ran her fingers through her untamed hair. Self-conscious of her attire, or lack of, she debated on whether to change quickly, but he’d already seen her. She adjusted her top, tugging it down at the back to make the neckline dip a little less. Slowly, she pulled back the curtain again. Jake was on a ladder, right outside her window, a hammer in his hand. With his free hand, he motioned for her to open the window.
The lock slid back under her fingers and she lifted the pane of glass upward, heat coming at her like an open oven door.
“Mornin’,” he said, clearly trying to keep his eyes on her face. She could see the flicker of his gaze as it moved downward, but his manners prevented it from lingering. She squared her shoulders slightly, trying not to think about the fact that it was too hot to grab a blanket and wrap herself up. It was too late for that anyway.
“Good morning.”
“I’m so sorry if I woke you. I’m just reinforcing a few loose shingles that I’d missed. I had to get started before it got too hot, but I didn’t realize anyone was in there.” His gaze flickered again, and he looked at the wooden tiles covering the outside of the house. “When the guys put them up, they do so many so quickly, they aren’t as thorough as they should be. I found a few loose ones, so I’m just checking around the door frames and windows.” He looked back at her. His eyes were on her face like he was searching for something. Then he smiled. It was a wide, gorgeous smile that was so friendly it felt like she’d known him for years. Without warning, a current buzzed through her as she pictured what that smile would look like in a different setting. Would he smile like that if she sat down next to him in the sand? Or across the table at dinner? Or late at night on the sofa as they talked?
“You okay?” he asked.
She’d been thinking about him, and he’d noticed! The swell of heat in her cheeks was something she’d not felt in a long time. Standing in front of him, wearing next to nothing, and knowing how he made her feel was making her nervous! She took in a discreet breath to steady her pounding heart, but it didn’t help. She felt embarrassed, worried that he could read her mind. “I’m fine,” she said and cleared her throat.
The corners of his mouth were twitching to hide his grin, and his eyes were trying to tell her something, but, clearly, she wasn’t as good at reading people as he was. “What are you up to today? Any big plans?”
“No,” she said, still feeling uncomfortable about her attire, but what could she do about it now? She crossed her arms. “The only thing we have planned at all while we are here is a birthday party for my grandmother, but that’s not until the end of next week.” She took a baby-step backward, trying to be subtle about it. She hadn’t brushed her teeth or put on any makeup. Why was she so worried about it? She’d never cared in the slightest what people thought of her, but she’d never had anyone affect her like this either. There was something in Jake’s face that caused an undeniable attraction toward him.
“Maybe we could…”
There was a quiet knock at the door and then a creak as Casey poked her head in. “I thought I heard talking,” she said, immediately locating Jake at the window. “Mom’s made a big breakfast.” She looked Faith up and down, trying to hide her astonishment.
I know! Faith wanted to shout at her. I’m wearing next to nothing, but he caught me like this, and now I’m stuck. Save me! She pleaded for a way out with her eyes.
“Faith,” Casey said, rearranging her smile into a straight position. “I’ll keep the food warm if you’d like to go get ready for the day.”
Faith could feel the pressure lift off her shoulders. She smiled at Jake as she leaned forward carefully to close the window. “Maybe we could what?” she asked, but Casey was still standing in the doorway.
“I’d like to see you,” he said quietly, clearly trying to keep their conversation between them only.
“Faith,” Casey called again, obviously trying to save her.
She turned back to Jake. “Okay.”
As she slid the window down, Casey called out, “Feel free to join us, Jake! There’s plenty of food!” And just like that, Faith wasn’t very hungry anymore. Butterflies had filled her stomach instead.
“Why don’t you join us?” Casey pressed as her mom stood behind her with a basket of biscuits. It was her Nan’s recipe—big, buttery, flaky southern rolls, which took a lot of preparation. Faith loved the way they melted in her mouth. She could smell their warm buttermilk scent from her spot at the table. She tried to focus on that rather than the fact that Casey was being relentless about inviting Jake to eat. Okay, maybe not relentless, but she was asking him quite a bit, poking her head outside more than once. Regardless of the fact that he was working. He’d probably lose his job if he were found sitting at their breakfast table.
Isabella slid awkwardly onto a chair and scooted to the back of it, leaving an enormous amount of space between her and the table. She tried unsuccessfully to scoot up, and Faith could see the worry on her face as she struggled. That worry looked like more than just not getting her chair into place. She was five, an age where she could understand a lot about what was going on in her life. She was aware, certainly, that her daddy wasn’t present. Had anyone asked her how she felt about it all? Had anyone sat down with her and tried to explain what was happening, to ease her fears?
Isabella kept jerking, her little blond ponytail swinging around toward her face, frustration building.
Faith got up and whispered, “Want me to push you up?”
With a serious expression, her thin lips set in a pout, her long eyelashes blinking, Isabella nodded. Faith pushed the chair under the table and then gave her shoulders an affectionate squeeze. While Casey was a wonderful mother, so full of life and love for her daughter, she wasn’t the most affectionate person in the world, and Faith felt like Isabella might need a little more right now. She gave her a pat on the arm and returned to her seat across the table.
“Do have some breakfast, Jake,” Nan said, wobbling over to a chair at the table and lowering herself slowly as he came inside. Her mom set the biscuits on to the table. “You’re too thin.”
Faith bit her lip to keep her surprise from showing. Nan didn’t need to offer such a personal observation. Jake wasn’t thin. He was fit. Perfectly fit—Faith had noticed through his T-shirt when he’d raised his arms to secure a shingle, even though she hadn’t wanted to admit to herself that she’d looked. She’d wondered against her will whether he worked out, or if his job was just demanding on his body. Now, he stood in the open space between the kitchen and living
area just as he had when it had been the two of them, before her family had come. Again, she wondered what it would be like to be alone with him. It was a ridiculous thought. Why was she sitting there thinking about what they would do if they were alone? She realized her knee was bouncing under the table, and she stilled it.
“Thank you for your hospitality,” he said, pulling out a chair and sitting down next to Faith.
“We’re doing you a favor!” her mom said, bringing in an egg and sausage casserole. She tossed a potholder onto the table and set the steaming dish on top of it. “My cooking’s better than anything you can get at one of these restaurants around here.” She winked at him. “Y’all want some juice? I’ve got coffee too.”
“I’ll have juice please,” Faith said first, afraid if she had caffeine it would make her too jumpy. She was already so happy to have Jake at breakfast that she had to force herself to breathe. Her mom glanced silently at each person, her eyebrows raised, a smile on her face as she waited for their requests. Nothing made her mother happier than looking after her family and guests. Casey, of course, got coffee—Jake didn’t rattle her in the slightest. As Faith sat there submerged in her own thoughts, she wondered if her anxiety was not down to Jake being here, but actually because Casey was there, and she worried that Casey would be more interesting than she would. She hadn’t had that kind of thought in ages, but it was still there lurking. She didn’t want to admit to herself that her old feelings around Casey had surfaced. Nan followed Casey’s lead, requesting coffee, but Jake asked for juice.
“Two coffees and two juices. That’s easy to remember,” her mom said. “Faith, do you mind coming into the kitchen and grabbing the potatoes? Y’all get your plates from the center of the table and dish ’em up. I’ll be right back with the drinks.”
Faith got up and went into the kitchen for the potatoes, glad to have something to busy her. She returned quickly with the bowl and sat back down. By the time they’d filled their plates, her mom had already returned with everyone’s drinks and had taken her seat on the other side of Jake.