ASHES (Ignite Book 3)

by R. J. Lewis

  I swallowed, feeling embarrassed. “Is that kind of cliché or silly?”

  “Why the fuck would it be that?”

  “Just the way you said it. You sounded, I don’t know, sarcastic.”

  He shook his head, looking serious. “Not at all. You’re paranoid. Maybe you’re deflecting some personal problems thinkin’ that.”

  I mulled that over. “Yeah, you’re right. My father made me get a business degree because I didn’t know what I wanted to do, and he said it was better than doing nothing, and volunteering. Better than doing volunteering he made it sure to add. I couldn’t think of a degree I wanted. So, I listened to him. But what the fuck do you know at eighteen?”

  “Fuck all.”

  “Exactly. It’s kind of fucked people even choose at that age. Or maybe I’m just one of the unlucky ones.” I shrugged, unable to ever keep quiet about my thoughts around this guy. “I just figure, I’m going to have a lot of time alone. Tony would never have let me out, but I think you’re different.” I eyed him, waiting for him to confirm that.

  He nodded slowly. “As long as you’re safe, then yeah.”

  “I’m a big girl.”

  “Who’s had her bodyguard watch out for her all her life.”

  I chuckled. “Touché.”

  He ran his thumb down the side of my face, looking genuine when he said, “You can do whatever the fuck you want when we get back. But we’re getting married first.”

  I shut my eyes as his thumb traced over my bottom lip. “If it ever happens at this rate.”

  “Oh, it’s happening. That was always for certain. Never a doubt in my mind. Just not right this second.”

  He got up and did his usual strip routine before bed. I pretended it didn’t interest me anymore. Like it was second nature for him to peel off his sexy black tank. But my eyes always secretly wandered. I felt a tug between my legs, wanting so desperately for him to touch me.

  I knew he wouldn’t. Ever since the game of ‘spread’ happened, he was keeping his hands to himself. Maybe he wanted to watch me burn. At this rate, I was going to combust, and he’d have nothing but ashes to fuck with.

  I blew out the light when he crawled into bed. And, like usual, I found my body snaking around him. He played with my hair as we silently cuddled, the warmth already seeped into my bones. I shut my eyes.

  “You make me sleep so fast,” I whispered, half-asleep already. “I’ve never slept better in my life than in this shitty ass bed with you.”

  His hand paused at my head. Then he ran his fingers through my scalp, suddenly gripping it painfully. My eyes shot open, a painful yelp about to escape my mouth when he smashed his lips against me, swallowing it whole. He kissed me deep. Harsh. There was emotion in that kiss. My chest cracked little by little. I felt my heart squeeze. I kissed him back too, with equal passion.

  “I want you, Olivia,” he muttered, pulling back to look at me in the dark. “And I like you a fuck ton.”

  The way he’d been staring at me lately made me feel like it was a little more than like. Which was why he was hardly coming around like before. Days had passed with the rain forcing us inside, yet he would stand outside our door, soaked to the bone, choosing that torture than to be inside with me.

  He was guarded.

  He was…afraid of what he was feeling.

  I just wanted to understand why.

  Twenty-two

  Shane

  Shane spent most of the evening with his chair against the side of Reaper’s hut. Liv had told him the door didn’t have a lock, and because Reaper had spent most of his day trying to save his sad looking coca farm from drowning, Shane couldn’t bear the thought of Liv being left alone. Even with the guards around, he found it hard to be apart from her. He couldn’t bear the thought of something bad happening.

  Reaper was around regularly. He wasn’t going to take that away from him. But days were passing by, and there was a stagnant, disheartening feeling in the air. Everyone was over it. Shane didn’t like what some people did when they were bored with their time. He wasn’t going to risk it.

  Somewhere along the way, he’d fallen asleep, and he hadn’t realized it. Not until the sound of movement stirred him awake. It was coming from nearby. God only knew what hour of the night it was. He figured it was the bodyguards moving about, but then he heard a whisper.

  “You’re leaving me behind?” His eyes flipped open now, recognizing Christy’s voice. It was coming from the front where the door was. He was feet away, against the side of the hut, just out of view.

  “Is it true?” she demanded, her whisper growing louder. “You’re leaving me here?”

  “There’s no room for you,” responded Reaper, his voice deep and flat. Shane instantly knew he was standing on the steps because it creaked under his weight as he moved.

  “Like hell there isn’t! You don’t want me around.”

  Reaper didn’t respond, but Shane heard footsteps descending the short staircase. He made sure to be still. It was a fucking awful time to be caught eavesdropping, but it wasn’t like he could just get up and go. He wasn’t going to be far from Liv, so help him God.

  “At least tell me why! I deserve to know. I can’t stand this anymore.”

  “Christy,” Reaper sounded sterner now, “there is no room.”

  “There’s no room? Or no room for me?” She took a breath but didn’t let him finish. “You don’t have to do this, you know. You don’t have to marry her. She’s just going to stab you in the back eventually. She’s spoiled and stubborn. She’ll never back down. She’s nothing like…”

  “She’s nothing like what?” Reaper pressed, his voice steady still. “Nothing like you?”

  “That’s not what I was about to say.” Shane could hear the lie in her.

  “You starved the girl.”

  “Not purposely.”

  “It was purposely.”

  “And so what if it was? I think she can hack it after she stalled you how many times? She disrespected you, and you think I’m going to reward the princess by feeding her? She sat in that room all day doing nothing!”

  Reaper was still flat when he replied, “This has nothing to do with her defying me, or her sitting in a room all day. This has all to do with you.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means you’re jealous.”

  Shane could hear her short gasp. He almost tsked out loud. Her denial was coming. He just knew, and it was going to sound pitiful. “Jealous of what? Of her pampered little life?”

  Yeah, there it was.

  “No,” Reaper replied, evenly. “You’re jealous she is going to have what you can’t, and you think you earned it more.”

  It was quiet for several moments. Shane didn’t have to hear the heartbreak. He could sense it. The tridactyl had emotions – real emotions – for him.

  “Why are you crying?” Reaper sounded impatient. “None of this was a surprise. You knew what she was coming here for. Isn’t that right?” Her cries became audible, even as she stifled them. “Christy,” he pressed.

  She sucked in a breath. “You’ve looked at her more than you’ve looked at me the entire three years we’ve known each other. You’ve touched her with your stare more than you’ve touched me in all that time. I’ve been present. I’ve been at your beck and call. I chose a different life for you. I chose you, dammit. What is so wrong with me? Why won’t you have me?”

  “You know why,” he simply said.

  “Because I’ve been touched by him? Why am I being punished for being with a man for so little of a time? I didn’t even know you! Isn’t it wrong to use that against me? Why did you want Sara then? Why was she forgiven –”

  “Don’t you fucking dare say her name again,” he angrily cut in. Shane startled at the rage he could hear in him, triggered by a simple name.

  The same Sara.

  “I’m sorry.” She sounded so remorseful, like she knew she’d crossed the line, which didn’t help ease Shane
’s curiosity. This was some serious Days of Our Lives shit. “I didn’t think. I’m sorry. I’m just…I’m hurt. I get chewed up by men who want different women at the end of the fucking day. Why am I even here?”

  “Because you’re weak,” he replied coldly, and her sobs came out harder. “You seek value from the man you’re clinging to. And when the man uses you up until you’re nothing but a stain on a sheet they’ve long forgotten, you move on to the next. That’s your problem, Christy. I’m not your problem, but you’ll keep finding a reason to blame every dick you’ve chased after for being the problem. I’ve made things clear to you from the start. I don’t want you. I never wanted you. I never entertained the idea of wanting you, either. Yes, it’s because you’ve sucked that man’s cock, but it’s also because I simply never wanted you. So, keep asking yourself why you’re here. You don’t have to be. The door was always there. It was there the second I let you free even when the pay on your head was tempting enough for me at the time to take. I extended you a second chance. You don’t get to blame me for what you did with it.”

  That was cold, harsh truth.

  “I’m grateful for it,” she sniffled, sounding genuine. “But it hurts.”

  “Enjoy the pain. I envy you for it.”

  “Re –”

  “You’re going to stay behind because I don’t want your dirty glare following me. You’re going to mind the coca leaves in my absence because I can depend on you, and because you’re the smartest fucking person here, and you’ve taken naturally to it. You’re staying because Logan is an irritating little fuck, but he can fly a plane better than me. And when I come back, Christy, you’re never going to bother me at this time of night again unless my investment is burning, or you’re fucking dying of a snake bite. Do you got that?”

  Christy was still inconsolable, but she forced out, “Yeah, I got it.”

  “Go to bed, Christy.”

  She moved straight away. Her figure came to view on Shane’s right. He wasn’t fast enough to move out of sight, but she wasn’t looking at him as she walked past, unaware of his figure in the dark. Her face was downcast, her shoulders slumped. She looked so tiny, and Shane felt… sorry for her.

  He had indirectly invaded some deep privacy shit, and now he was curious more than ever before. Reaper’s words were vicious. He’d savagely chewed up her feelings and spat them out in less than a minute. Shane could envision him saying those things, his eyes hard, his face twisted in that way that frightened even his own men.

  “You don’t gotta stay hidden,” Reaper suddenly said, his voice hardly audible now.

  Of course he knew he was there. Shane sighed and stood up. His entire body ached from being wound up so tight with stress around this place. Keeping his guard up took a lot of mental and physical work. He rounded the corner of the hut and found Reaper seated on the staircase, boots planted in the muddy ground. His elbows were on his knees, his dark hair was loose around him. It was impossible to see his face from the dark.

  “I’ve only been sitting here for Liv,” Shane began to explain.

  “I got good men watching her.”

  “I don’t doubt that.”

  “No reason to worry.”

  “Try telling that to a man that’s been looking after her the last sixteen years.” Shane dug his hands into his pockets and gazed up at the sky, trying to make small talk before he said something about what he’d just heard. “No more rain.”

  Reaper wasn’t stupid. “You don’t talk about what you just heard.”

  “Is that even a question?” Shane scoffed.

  “I mean to her. You don’t tell her.”

  Her. Liv. Shane nodded slowly, searching for the proper words. “You mean, don’t mention that name to her.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Because you know she’ll pry.”

  “She doesn’t hold back.”

  Shane laughed dryly. “No, she doesn’t.”

  “How did the last guy take it?”

  Shane was surprised he cared to ask. “Tony Esposito is a madman.”

  “He should be a dead man.”

  “Yes, well, I left when things got pretty chaotic. The shooting outside the church killed his uncle and his younger brother. I’m pretty sure it hit him too. They’re dead as far as I know.”

  “Good.”

  “Yes, good, because they’re evil incarnated.”

  “Less people in my way.”

  Shane hesitated, taken off guard by that statement before he stiffened a nod. Sure, yeah, less people in his way. The man had no conscience. Then again, Shane heard about his past. Reaper was a stone-cold killer.

  “It’s hell back in Winthrop,” he added. “The media is covering it closely, and Dillinger is working hard to mute them.”

  “He needs the police in his pocket.”

  “Some men can’t be bought, Reaper.”

  “Every man has a price.”

  “Well,” Shane shrugged, absentmindedly. “Point is, there is backlash. Dillinger’s making enemies.”

  Reaper didn’t look one bit perturbed. He’d barely moved as he listened. “If this is drawing out all our enemies, we can snuff ‘em out at the same time.”

  Shane felt wary as he regarded him. “This is biker experience, no doubt. Are you going to allow them access to the city?”

  “Now that’s talk for another day.”

  In other words, possibly. Shit. It was going to be rough for Shane to witness an entire dynasty wiped clean in place for the outlaw’s one percent.

  Shane let out a deep sigh, glancing to the door of the hut and back down to Reaper. “She asleep right now?”

  “Yeah.”

  “She goes mad on her own. She had a rocky upbringing.”

  “Yeah, she kept talking about some Eternity Man.”

  Shane stilled before cringing. “She still goes on about that?” It’d been a long time since he’d heard her talking to herself about that critter. Maybe she knew better than to bring it up to him. “That man fed her to a life of this.”

  “This?”

  “This hell. Don’t feed fuel to it if she starts about him. She spent most of her childhood begging me to find him.”

  “Why didn’t you?”

  Shane straightened, feeling the fury in his blood. “Because I would have killed him.”

  Reaper’s head tilted to the side, and the little light from the moon shone on his face. He looked genuinely intrigued. “What if she asked me to find him?”

  “I doubt she would ask that.”

  “What if?”

  “Then lie to her and tell her he’s dead.”

  “Do you think he is?”

  “I don’t know. I couldn’t find him.”

  “So, you tried.”

  “Yeah, I did, and I got nowhere. Found some surveillance tapes of him around the area she used to live. He was a bad man. Killed a random homeless man one night. Vicious attack. Then it was a dead end after that. It’s better that way.”

  “You never asked Olivia how he found her?”

  “She mentioned some…I don’t know the name…Bogeyman dragging her out in the tunnel. He was going to kill her because he was suspicious she was Dillinger’s kid. I think this old man was a wanderer. Probably past by at the right place at the right time. Or…”

  “Or what?”

  Shane shrugged. “I thought up every avenue. Maybe he was related to her.”

  “Like a grandpa?”

  “Well, I couldn’t find her mom’s side of the family. Again, scattered relatives all over the place. I don’t know. But…there’s no need to keep digging. It’s over. No use pulling her back into the ugly past.”

  “Let the past die, ain’t that right?” Reaper muttered in thought.

  “That’s right.”

  “I’ll be going inside in a minute. I’ll check on her.”

  Shane hesitated, unsure of how to go about the next question. “She was unkempt when I saw her this morning –”

&
nbsp; “What I’ve done to Olivia doesn’t concern you,” Reaper interrupted sharply, his calm mood shifting. “There won’t be that kind of talk between us, old man. I kept to my word, and that’s all you need to know.”

  Kept to his word.

  She was still a virgin.

  Shane stared at Reaper for a long moment, trying hard to see his expression. He needed to know what kind of face lurked behind the darkness. Whether there was the same sort of evil in Tony, or whether the man was simply a cold void like Dillinger. At this rate, he didn’t know what was worse anymore.

  “You’re a hard tell, Reaper,” he said, defeated. “I suppose you have to be, but…I can’t implore any harder than now to be…gentle with her. Just that once, at least.”

  Reaper stared long at Shane. Like he’d just said, there would be no talk about it with Shane. Clearing his throat, though, he said, “There’s been a change of plans.”

  Twenty-three

  Liv

  I cracked my eyes open, watching a figure enter the room. Shane. Groggily, I turned my head to where Reaper had slept, but it was empty. When had he gone?

  “Liv,” Shane whispered, leaning down to shake me. “Up, darling.”

  My body clock was broken. I didn’t know what time it was. I blinked slowly and forced my body up with the help of his hand on my arm.

  “Wake up,” he told me. “We’ve got a big day ahead of us.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “The day has come, darling.”

  Instantly, I knew what he meant. I felt knots in my stomach. “Is it really that time?” I whispered brokenly.

  “Not quite. There’s been a change of plans.”

  Before I could respond, he was pulling me out of bed, forcing me to my feet. The blanket was curled around me, and he wrapped it tighter before putting his arm around my shoulder and steering me out of the room. It was dark still, but the rain had stopped. The ground was cool and mushy under my feet. There was a soft breeze hitting my face, making me close my eyes momentarily to savour it. Now that I was moving, I was wide awake.

  “What’s happening? Where are we going?” I asked.