by Cooke, J. S.
“Is that what this is about, Kane? You don’t know what to do with your life? You’re afraid to not go to prison because you have nowhere else to go?”
“I don’t have anyone left who needs me, Jacob.”
“That’s not true.” I looked up and saw Conan. He’d walked up behind Jacob. I wondered what he was doing there. He was Cruz and Alicia’s friend, not mine.
“It is true. The only woman I ever loved has disappeared. She hates me for taking the man she loved away. I can’t fight because I have a metal plate in my head and my hip. I won’t be able to get a job because I have no education. I may as well be in prison.”
“I thought you were a fighter.” Conan had come to town not long after the accident. He was there for Cruz’s funeral. The one where Alicia screamed at me and told me I ruined her life. She accused me of killing him on purpose. She wailed on me with her fists. She told my father he had no right to be there. She made a huge scene, but she didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. Conan and his wife finally took her out and calmed her down. While they did that, my father and I left. I hadn’t seen her since. I looked at Conan and just shrugged. I used to be a fighter. Now I felt like I just wanted to lie down and die. “Like I said, I don’t have anything worth fighting for.”
Conan and Jacob looked at each other. Finally Conan said, “I’m not supposed to be here telling you this. I wouldn’t be if Jacob hadn’t vouched for you a lot. He tells me that deep down you’re a good man and you always try to do the right thing. I’m telling you right now though, the right thing here is to get yourself some help for your drinking problem and PTSD or whatever you call those flashbacks.”
“I’ll get that in prison.”
“Okay, but if you go to prison your nephew will already be two to five years old when you get out and you’ll be a felon.”
I looked up at him like he was crazy. “My what?”
“The little boy that is growing in Alicia’s belly. Your nephew. He’s going to grow up without a father. Do you want him to grow up without an uncle too?” My heart was suddenly racing. It was the first signs of life I’d felt in months.
“My nephew? She knows it’s a boy?”
“Yes, and she’s going to kill me for telling you, and my wife will probably divorce me so I hope you appreciate the hell out of it.”
“I do.” I felt like I was in shock. “But, Alicia hates me. Would she even let me see him?”
“Probably not without a fight,” Conan said. One thing about these guys, they weren’t going to sugarcoat anything for me. It stirred something in me though as I’m sure they knew it would. It gave me hope. “Look Kane, after Cruz died, Alicia found out a lot of things about him she didn’t know. Apparently he hadn’t been faithful and there were a lot of predators coming around that seemed to think he owed them money and they could somehow get it from her. She had a really hard time of it the past six months. I am doing this because I think that little boy is going to benefit from having you in his life someday, but I won’t let you hurt her or him.”
I shook my head. “I won’t. I wouldn’t.”
“I’m counting on it. She’s been through a lot. She’s still coming to terms with all of it.”
I looked at Jacob. “Is Ian inside already?” Jacob nodded. “Thank you,” I said to him and Conan. I started to walk away and turned back around and grabbed them both in a hug. They were stiff and uncomfortable, but I felt better. I smiled for the first time in six months. I was going to have a nephew. It’s amazing how quickly your thoughts can change when you have something to live for.
__ Chapter 16 __
KANE
6 MONTHS LATER
It took me a month to get into a rehab program in Vegas. Apparently they stay pretty full. It took me five months to complete it. It was only supposed to take three, but I had one relapse. It was on Cruz’s birthday. I left and went to the closest bar and drank until I passed out. When I woke up I was in a hospital again. Life really sucked again for a few weeks after that. I finally got it though. I had to stay sober, or I was going to kill myself by virtue of my own stupidity. I’d been given a second and even a third chance. The day I went to court, the judge and the D.A. were willing to drop the criminal charges if I was willing to accept rehab. I realized if I screwed that up, I may not ever get another chance.
Once I was good and sober, Conan told me where to find Alicia. He made sure to tell me that after that, I was on my own. So I sat in the far back of a diner just across the border in Brownsville Texas, watching her pour coffee for the men at the counter. She was as pretty as ever, even in her tan waitress uniform. Her long hair was pulled back in a bun at the nape of her neck and her hips looked maybe just a little wider, but that was to be expected, She’d only had a baby five months earlier. She still made my vital signs do crazy things.
I held the menu close to my face. I didn’t lower it until she was next to my table. I wasn’t expecting her to be happy to see me, and I was right. When she came over to take my order and realized who I was, I saw the fire flash in her dark eyes. “What do you want?”
“Coffee and a piece of…”
“You know that’s not what I mean!” She was talking in a whisper, but her tone was dangerous. “What are you doing here?”
“I was hoping that we could talk and that I could see my nephew.” I was afraid she was going to pass out. She suddenly went pale.
“Conan told you? That son of a bitch!”
“Alicia, he told me to save my life. I had nobody and nothing to live for.”
“Because you killed them all.” That hurt worse than if she’d stabbed me in the gut, but I had come prepared for her anger. I wasn’t going to argue with her. I wasn’t going to give up, either.
“I have come to terms with my conscience. I’d love to meet my nephew. If you know anything about me, you know I wouldn’t be dangerous to your baby.”
“I didn’t think you would be dangerous to your own brother either!” I could see she wasn’t ready. I stood up and dropped a fifty dollar bill on the table. She looked at it and with venom in her voice she said, “I don’t want your charity.”
I smiled. “It’s not charity. It’s for Cruz’s boy. My number is the same if you change your mind.”
“I won’t,” she said to my back as I walked away. She wasn’t going to make this easy.
*******
I worked for Conan in the gym he opened for kids in Matamoros, Mexico. It was a rough place and the kids we trained had come from places worse than I’d ever been. A lot of them reminded me of my brother, and I grew to care about them and like Conan. I wanted to do something to make their lives better. Once a month I made the short trip across the border to have a cup of coffee and a piece of pie in the little diner in Brownsville. The first six tries, I never got either. I kept leaving as much money on the table as I could afford for my nephew before I gave up and left. On the seventh month I sat down and she actually poured me a cup of coffee. I nearly died of shock.
“Thank you,”
“Apple or peach?”
I smiled. “Peach.”
“Don’t smile. You didn’t win. I’m just feeding you in hopes you’ll give up and go away.”
“Okay.”
She rolled her eyes at me. “I mean it.”
“I know. I’m not going to give up.”
“What if I never give in?”
I shrugged. “I guess my nephew will have a good college fund and you’ll be feeding me a lot of pie.”
I tried not to smile because it seemed to piss her off when I did, but it was hard. More hope. The next month when I went back she filled my cup, slammed down a piece of peach pie and an envelope. I picked up the envelope and asked her, “What’s this?”
“An invitation to your nephew’s birthday party. I guess since you’re not going away, you should at least meet him.” I couldn’t control the smile.
*******
ALICIA
Conan and Cat let me use th
eir home for my baby’s party. I was a nervous wreck. I questioned myself repeatedly for inviting Kane. But the fact was that I didn’t blame him for Cruz’s death any longer. I never really did if I was being honest. Cruz lived his life like every day was his last. I was convinced after we were together for a year that he wouldn’t live to see thirty. He was reckless and impulsive and after he died I found out he had a lot more faults than I’d actually been aware of. I had his phone and within two weeks of him dying I’d gotten calls from three different women wanting to hook up. I was tormented for months by men who thought he owed them money. I’m not sure because Conan and Cat never talked about it, but I think Cat’s father took care of that for me one way or another. Things were finally good for the baby and me. It was time for him to meet his uncle.
I was outside chasing around three little boys and one baby girl when I saw him. I would never admit it to him, but every single time he came into the diner it took me an hour or more after he left to get my heart rate and breathing under control. I could feel my pulse speeding up and my skin getting hot. I wondered if he would ever stop having that effect on me. I watched as his eyes shuffled through the children and landed on Cruz’s son. He had my hair and coloring, but he had his father’s blue eyes. He came towards us and I scooped the baby up into my arms.
“Joaquin Cruz Miguel Diaz, this is your uncle Kane.”
Kane grinned and said, “I bet that’s a mouthful when he’s in trouble.”
“I just call him Mijo. Do you want to hold him?”
He looked like he might cry as he held out his arms and I placed the squirming little boy in them. He seemed to realize he was a lot higher off the ground than usual and he looked up at Kane’s face and smiled. His chubby little cheeks dimpled. I saw the tears glisten in Kane’s eyes. “You look just like your Papa,” he told him. Joaquin began to squirm again and Kane finally placed a kiss on his silky little head and let him go. He watched as he ran after the other kids on his short little legs. I saw him suck in a breath and then he turned to me and said, “Thank you so much. I’ve just met him and I already love him.”
I smiled. “I know. He had the same effect on me.”
“I’m so sorry, about everything.”
“I know. So am I.”
“Can we be friends again?”
I laughed. “We were never friends.”
He nodded. “I guess that’s true. I never got over you, Alicia. Even now you take my breath away.” His honesty was both refreshing and unnerving. Thankfully at that moment my son reached up for the cake and I made a hasty retreat. I never got over him either, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to tell him that.
__ Chapter 17 __
CONCLUSION
KANE
“Una vez más, el tío” Joaquin was looking at me with those big blue eyes.
“We read it three times already little man. Your mama is probably going to come in here in a minute and then we’ll both be in trouble. You need to rest up for your big birthday bash tomorrow.”
“Just one more,” he said. He flashed his dimples at me. For a two year old he was pretty good at the art of manipulation already. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, considering where he came from.
“Okay, one more.” I sat back down on his little bed and read Thomas the Train one more time. Before I reached the end, he was asleep. His dark hair spilled out across the pillow and his fat little cheeks were all rosy and pink. His dark lashes lay against them and I thought I’d never seen anything so beautiful, until I looked up and saw his mother standing in the doorway.
She came over and brushed his hair off his forehead and kissed him. Then she looked at me and said, “You’ve been in here for almost an hour. He’s not going to want to get up in the morning.”
“Sorry, he knows how to work me.”
She smiled then. “Me too,” she said. “He’s too much like his papa.”
I followed her out of the room and she closed his door. I turned towards the living room, but was stopped dead in my tracks by the feel of her hand in mine. I looked at her face. We’d gotten a lot closer over the past year, but it had all been platonic and most of it had been about Joaquin. I gave her a questioning look as she pulled me down the hall towards her bedroom. She led me inside and closed the door behind us. I was just standing there in shock. I didn’t know what to do. She smiled at me and slid her arms around my neck. I could hardly breathe. Her chest was pressing into me and I wasn’t sure if it was her heartbeat I felt or mine, but one of them was racing.
“Are you over me yet, Vato?”
“Not even a little bit.”
“Good,” she said, standing up on her toes to brush her lips against mine. “I’m not over you yet either.”
My mouth came down and met hers again in a long, slow, lingering kiss. Her lips were as soft as I remembered them and they tasted just as sweet. I felt her unbuttoning my shirt as we kissed and then her fingers were on my chest and one of us gasped. I’m not sure who. She was slowly pushing my shirt back off of my arms. I was dying to just do it for her and start ripping things off. It was taking everything in me to hold back. I didn’t want to do anything to mess it up. She pushed it to my forearms. I was shaking them, trying to get it off when I felt her palms against my bare chest. I looked at her pretty face. It was filled with lust and that was like throwing kerosene on the fire. I reached down and pulled up the dress she was wearing. She held her arms up and I pulled it off. She was standing there in a pair of lacy panties and bra and I wasn’t sure if my heart was going to be able to take it. It felt like it was going to explode.
“Jesús, Alicia. Eres tan bella.” I kissed her again and then I finally got brave enough to reach up and touch her breasts through the lace of her bra. I’d done it a thousand times, but with Alicia I felt like that awkward kid in Mexico all over again. I let my palms rub against them, feeling her big nipples rise as I did. Her hands were at my waist, unhooking and unzipping my pants. My cock was throbbing almost painfully. I could hardly believe it was finally happening. I hoped I would do her proud and not explode the second she touched me.
I reached down and pushed my pants over my hips and then I walked her backwards to the bed. I laid her back gently and then as her brown eyes slowly took me in, I finished undressing and sat down next to her. I slid my hand underneath her upper back and unhooked her bra. Her breasts spilled out. I felt another almost painful surge in my cock. I looked at her face and she smiled.
“I won’t break, Kane. Make love to me.”
That was all the more encouragement that I needed. I leaned down and began to lick around the outside of one big, dark nipple. She shivered. I moved across to the other. When I finished licking that one, I sucked it into my mouth. I started sucking hard, licking the nipple and flicking across it with my tongue as her hands wrapped up in my hair. I’d been thinking about this for so long. Dreaming about it. She moaned and writhed underneath me as I sucked and nibbled on the most gorgeous breasts on earth. I was a lucky man.
I licked and sucked as she called out my name and then I let my lips move down across the taut, smooth skin of her belly. I hooked my thumbs in the elastic band of her panties and she lifted up her hips and let me pull them off of her. I was almost frozen with awe and I felt like a damned virgin. I was over stimulated. I didn’t know what to do first.
Alicia helped me out. I felt her warm little hands on my belly, sliding up towards my chest as she changed positions and ran her smooth lips across the wet tip of my cock. Gigantic explosions were going off in my head. She looked up at me and smiled.
“You’re beautiful,” she said.
I grabbed her by her wrists and pulled her up so our chests were pressed together and her breasts were crushed into me. I let my lips crash down on hers and I tasted her hot, wet mouth again. Her hands were suddenly between us and both of them were wrapped around the shaft of my cock. I’d fantasized about that moment for so long. I felt like I was trapped in a dream and I never wanted out of
it. When I finished devouring her mouth she slid back down and with the base of my cock in her hand she opened her sexy red lips and wrapped them around the head of my cock. She sucked on just the head of it and I had to say a prayer in my head that I wouldn’t come in her mouth. Then she started taking the shaft in her mouth a little at a time. I was watching her. That was almost as erotic as how it felt as she sucked on me and let her tongue roll around underneath the shaft. She took it out of her mouth and held it in her hand while she licked it, and then she swirled her sexy tongue around the head again before sucking it back into her mouth. I gasped when I felt it hit the back of her throat.
I fisted my hands up in her long hair and after she held me in her throat for several seconds she pulled back slightly and let her tongue massage the underside of it before once more sucking it in. I felt like both of my heads would explode. It was too intense. I was shaking all over trying to hold back. I finally had to use my leverage on her hair and pull her off of me.
I pulled her up to my mouth and sucked her bottom lip in as my hands slid down her back and found the sexy ass I’d been dying to touch for years. I groped it and squeezed it and then finally pushed her back onto the bed. I leaned down and put my mouth back on her nipples, devouring them as she breathed out my name and a few obscenities in Spanish. She was pulling my hair hard, urging me to suck harder, or switch breasts. When she couldn’t stand that any longer, she began pushing me down towards her pussy. I obliged and when my mouth reached it, I slid my hands underneath that sexy ass and pulled her up to my face. I held her up like that and licked along the outside of her lips, tasting her sweetness. She moaned and opened her legs wider. I split her lips with my tongue and licked her from one end to the other. She cried out when my tongue grazed her swollen clit.
“Oh fuck, Kane…” her voice was husky with lust and that drove me even wilder as I sucked her sweet clit into my mouth. She cried out louder and I was a little worried she’d wake Joaquin. I looked up at her and she had her eyes closed as I held her clit with my teeth and used my tongue to flick it back and forth. She put her hands back in my hair and whimpered and moaned and wiggled. She was as sweet as I remembered and a whole lot hotter.