Loving Me for Me

by Naleighna Kai

  “Yes,” Pranav said, and his lips lifted in a wide smile that irritated her.

  “It was … I don’t know how to describe it,” she said eyeing him closely and giving a weary shake of her head.

  “It was sensual,” Pranav explained. “That man has a hunger only that woman can feed. You all keep trying to come between that, and you will lose him, point-blank-period. I’ve been friends with him since you all came to America. And I’ve never seen him this way with any of the women he’s been with. And trust me, you all don’t know the half of the stuff he’s been into. You’ve seen one side of your brother. I saw the rest.” Pranav scratched his forehead. “To be honest, back then, I wouldn’t have wanted him to marry my sister the same way he didn’t want me to marry you. We knew too much, did too much.”

  “That was a blatant display of sex,” Anaya reminded, unable to keep the disdain from her voice.

  “That wasn’t sex,” he countered, moving until he was standing directly in front of her. “That was foreplay. Devesh is trying to seduce his wife.”

  “But right before our very eyes?”

  Pranav placed his hands on her arms, forcing her to look directly at him. “She’s fighting him. For whatever reason, probably because of her own issues and because you all are making her keep him at arm’s length.”

  He grinned. For some reason, it didn’t sit right with Anaya. “But did you see her open to him? Well, started to, before she caught herself and tried to scale it back. Now he’s close to having her.”

  Anaya felt her face flush with anger. “You sound like you want her.”

  “You want to know the truth?” Pranav leaned in as though ready to share a secret. “Just watching them gave me a woody.”

  Anaya blanched, tossed her curls over her shoulders. “Family is more important to him than someone like her. She doesn’t deserve him.”

  “What? Anaya? Really?” Pranav whispered, peering at her as if he didn’t recognize the woman standing before him. “Let some people tell the story, I don’t deserve you. I don’t look anywhere as handsome as Devesh. To be honest, I’m a little round in the belly and kinda on the average side. So I should not have wanted a woman as beautiful as you because of that?” He paused, waiting for a dispute to kick in. “I wanted you for all the other qualities you had. I knew you before the pageants. I knew you when we snuck off to those underground clubs in New York when Hip Hop was just becoming a thing. I married a woman who was my friend, who knew how to enjoy life. That is what is beautiful to me about you.”

  She took a minute to let that sink in. “Please don’t think less of me because of how I feel,” she implored him.

  “I don’t think less of you for that,” he admitted, stroking a hand through her hair. “But you and the family have to stop busting his chops. He’s given you all thirty-one years of his life. He deserves the chance to live the rest of his years doing what’s best for himself.”

  Anaya felt a tear slide down her cheek, and the guilt racked her so bad she wanted to run away and not see the recrimination in her husband’s eyes. He was right. She was denying her brother the same happiness that she had found with his best friend.

  Pranav tilted her head so their gazes met. “That man has not been with a woman in five years.”

  She stepped back, unable to believe a word. “He’s had Amy.”

  “Then either you’re not as close to your brother as you think, or you’re just not that observant,” he challenged and his voice was pure steel. “Their relationship has been purely platonic ever since he came back from Atlanta. He’s just been too kind to put her out to pasture. Why do you think Amy’s been more clingy, more possessive these last five years? She lost him the minute Reign came back in the picture.”

  Anaya waved him off. “My brother is much too sexual to go without.”

  “Why the heck do you think he spends so much time in Puja?” Pranav said, tweaking her nose. “He turned to God rather than using Amy to slake his lust.”

  Pranav waited a moment to let her absorb those words and said, “God answered his prayer by giving him the two things he desired most—Reign and children. The fact that they came as one package means Devesh made it to the bonus round.” Pranav tightened his hold around her. “Devesh recognizes that his devotion to God paid off with a reward you all could never give him.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Think on that.”

  Then he left Anaya out on the patio, went into the house and didn’t give her a backward glance.

  Two hours later, the entire family switched off the Cricket game airing from India. They had settled into the theater to watch Prem Granth. Since there were no subtitles, Devesh translated portions of it for Reign.

  He put his head near hers and whispered, “That’s a rich young man named Somen, and the woman is Kariji.”

  “She’s breathtaking,” Reign replied in a breathy whisper.

  “Like you, my love.” He picked up her hand and kissed it. “The problem,” he explained is that she’s poor and from a lower caste.”

  Reign put her focus on the movie, gathering some ideas of what was happening strictly from the acting—and over acting—of the people on the screen. The two had clearly fallen in love, but Somen’s father, a wealthy politician, was against it.

  The undertones of the movie had a great deal to do with her relationship with Devesh.

  Somen makes plans to defy his politician father to be with her. By the time Somen leaves home and begins the search for Kariji, she had been raped by a wealthy stranger on the way home from the festival where Somen first met her. Though it was no fault of her own, the act and the results forced her to become cast away from her family without a dime to her name and a baby that was conceived during that horrific act. Kariji was too poor to feed her child. She had to bury it and grieve on her own.

  When Kariji’s baby died, the screen became blurry as Reign’s eyes filled with tears.

  Somen appeared on screen again. Devesh whispered, “A year has passed and he has been unable to get Kariji off of his mind.”

  Somen found her a year later working on his uncle’s farm, and he loves her still. Kariji, brokenhearted by life and all the things that happened to her, turns him away even though she loves him too. All of these tragic experiences made her undesirable in society’s eyes. Finally, because Somen wouldn’t give up, she confesses her darkest secrets.

  Reign knew exactly how it felt to have love climbing out the back door of your heart because fear was slipping through the front door, taking it off the hinges.

  “Somen wants to marry her and he sets out to find the man who violated her,” Devesh explained. “The rich man who stole her innocence was also the same man who had also raped Kariji’s aunt. Somen hunts the man down and burns him alive while Kariji watches.”

  “Then the two lovebirds get married and live happily ever after,” Anaya said in a cheery voice. “The end.”

  “What a tragic movie,” Reign said, shaking off the imagery.

  “No more than Romeo and Juliet,” Anaya defended, taking in another handful of buttered popcorn.

  Reign was still sorting through the scenario that the movie provided, filtering through scene after scene, also trying to ascertain what Aunt Kavya wanted her to know; wanted Devesh to know.

  “Jab pyaar hona chahiye, tab ho jayega. Chahe kuch bhi ho jaye,” Aunt Kavya said in Hindi, grasping Devesh’s hand and then Reign’s before placing their hands on top of each other.

  “When love is supposed to happen, it will, no matter what,” Mumma said with a pointed look at Reign, translating Aunt Kavya’s words.

  “Jab bhi do log ek saath hone chahiye, chahe woh alag hi kyun na ho, unka dharam ya samaj kuch bhi ho, aur chahe unke past main kuch bhi hua ho, pyaar raasta nikaal hi lega.”

  “Whenever people are supposed to be together,” Anaya explained. “No matter that they are different, no matter their background, no matter what happened in their past—”

  “Love will find a way,�
� Devesh finished and his voice was filled with such wonder and hope that it brought a tear to Mumma’s eye.

  Reign thought over those words and returned Aunt Kavya’s smile.

  Chapter 15

  Devesh returned from New York after appearing on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and the family was set to hold a little celebration. The Maharaj family found any old reason to celebrate. Birthday. Celebration. Break a toe. Celebration.

  “Well, at least the children don’t look anything like her,” Tiya said, causing Anaya to bristle. The women were in the kitchen as dinner preparations were underway and the uncles were settled around the breakfast nook watching a game of cricket on the television mounted on the far wall.

  The children and all of the cousins were in the corner on the floor playing a game of Sorry—something the twins had taught them. But at the sound of Tiya’s voice, Leena’s head snapped in her direction. Green eyes were flashing with something that resembled anger. Kamran glanced at his sister, then frowned as he followed her gaze to Tiya, who gave them both an evil grin.

  “We should be grateful for that,” Aunt Prisha said over the rim of her owl-rimmed glasses as Bhavin’s wavy-haired wife, Sana nodded.

  “My God, imagine having to explain that nose,” Hiran said, causing a few family members to laugh. All except Mumma, Papa, Anaya and Aunt Kavya who, unknown to everyone else, had wandered in from the solarium on the tail end of the conversation.

  “Large enough to smell the cows taking a crap in Jaipur,” Uncle Mitul said and almost choked on the words. “All the way from here.”

  Mumma and Anaya shared an uncomfortable glance as realization dawned in Papa’s eyes.

  Papa glared at his brother-in-law, but Mitul pretended to ignore him, causing him to say, “Mitul, this is my house. You will not disrespect my daughter-in-law this way.”

  The trickle of laughter and conversation came to an abrupt halt. A tenseness settled over the kitchen.

  Anaya felt a stirring of anxiety in her mind. She looked toward the solarium’s entryway only to find Reign standing there with a thunderous expression.

  She had heard every word.

  A slow smile crept across Tiya’s lips, a sure sign that she had known Reign was nearby when she let that vitriol come from her mouth.

  “Leena and Kamran,” Reign said, causing their attention to snap to their mother. “Come this way.”

  They quickly left their cousins, who loudly protested their removal, and did as she bid them.

  “Reign.”

  She cast her eyes on Anaya, the expression on Reign’s face a warning to say the least.

  “Mama?” Leena said, and there was a nervousness in her tone.

  “Get your things, baby,” Reign said in a calm tone that did not match her expression. “Your brother’s too.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Reign waited until the twins cleared the room before she put her focus on Tiya, then Uncle Mitul. “You said all those ugly things within full hearing range of my children.”

  No one disputed it.

  “If I were a different type of woman, my husband would need bail money right about now.” She circled the center floor island until she was a few feet from Tiya. “You always want to throw the words hood and ghetto around when it comes to me.” She tilted her head as though studying a science specimen. “Honey, you have no idea.” She flickered a brief look at the knife that was on the counter halfway between them. “You can come for me all you want, but you start messing with my children, and I will cut you too short to shit.”

  Nearly everyone in the room gasped.

  Reign’s smile was alarming. “You can be big and bold because your people are around. But when I come for you, they won’t be able to help you.”

  Mumma brushed her way past Aunt Prisha and Neerav. “Reign, please do not go. Do not take Tiya’s words to heart. Or Mitul’s. We do not all feel the way they do.”

  “Really?” Reign tilted her head, scanning Mumma’s flushed face before flickering a pointed look at each of the people staring back at her. “Yet none of you spoke up to say anything different. They laughed. I heard it. So enough of them do feel that way. And the truth of the matter is, I don’t have the bandwidth to figure out which ones of you are friends and which ones are foes.”

  Leena and Kamran had their backpacks, and Leena held up her mother’s purse that must have been retrieved from Devesh’s bedroom.

  “Thank you, baby.” She stood and faced the people in the room. “I never go where I’m not invited. And I never stay where I’m not wanted.” Over her shoulder, she said, “Tell my husband he’ll find us at the condo. Permanently.”

  With that being said, Reign and the twins exited stage left.

  “You foolish woman,” Mumma roared at Tiya.

  “I only said what everyone’s thinking,” she countered with no remorse whatsoever. “It wasn’t an issue until she said something.” She released a dismissive wave. “You and Anaya are trying to be her friend and all, but let her leave. We don’t want her or her little half-breed bastards to be here. Even the White girl he was playing around with was a better choice, once she learned to put some clothes on.”

  Well, there had been some truth in that. Amy had shown up to their house that first time with her entire cleavage spilling out, shorts cut so far up her tail everyone could see the beginnings of places they shouldn’t. Even their grandmother—God rest her soul—took one look, pulled her headscarf over her head and tipped out of the room. And it happened several more times before Amy finally got the message that showing so much of her body was not appropriate around the Maharaj family. Reign, at least, did not have such issues. The color of her skin and the fact that she was older than him, was the crux of the issue. On what planet did a woman her age pair up with a man Devesh’s age, and it becomes a love match?

  “This woman is his wife,” Mumma said, first looking at everyone and giving them an eye-to-eye before settling her gaze on Tiya. “You might not like it but she is his family now.”

  “His family, not mine,” Tiya said, tucking the strands of her long hair behind her ear.

  “In a minute, you’re going to realize they are one and the same,” Anaya warned, hoping that her hard-hearted sister would get the message. “She manages his bank accounts and investments now. Aren’t you and your husband always hitting Devesh up for money these days? Seems like you’ve been in his pocket ever since his singing career took off.” She took a bite of an apple. “I’d be careful if I were you.”

  “He’d never deny us,” Tiya said with a sweeping look across the people listening in. “Unlike the hood queen, we are actually family.”

  “Let’s hope you never have to find out.”

  Chapter 16

  Devesh was incensed when he arrived at Maharaj house and Aunt Kavya filled him in on what transpired while he was away. Minutes after he stepped over the threshold, his mother, aunts, and twin came into his suite to pack up his things, and those belonging to his wife and twins. Pranav, Bhavin, and his cousins piled everything into their cars and drove the fifteen minutes to his building on Milano Drive in Newport Beach. The furniture in the master suite would remain intact, as Reign had already picked out what she wanted for the penthouse. Everything was set to be delivered a few days after the contractors put the final touches on the condos which had been combined and reconfigured to make a penthouse comprised of four bedrooms, four bathrooms, a massive kitchen, living room, dining room, spa center, office, and entertainment parlor with bar, and a separate elevator that bypassed the other eight floors and let out directly into their foyer.

  Now that there wasn’t a cushion of people and activity constantly floating around them, Devesh could clearly see the signs that Reign missed her older son dearly—and so did the twins who made it their business to video chat with him at least twice a day.

  Loyalty was definitely something to be admired, and Devesh had been pleasantly surprised that Jay didn’t end all contact b
ecause his mother’s heart was broken. He surprised her by bringing Jay out for a visit in hopes that they could deepen the bond they had.

  Devesh and Jay were lounging outside in the backyard with a kidney-shaped pool that was still being serviced, a game area for volleyball and a few other outside pursuits. A gazebo shielded them from the blazing sun and the insects trying to extract a pint of their blood. Finally, the conversation circled in on the heart of things.

  “I dated an older woman once,” Jay admitted, taking a swig from a shot of Fireball, grimacing as the cinnamon whiskey burned its way down his throat. “And I broke it off when I realized that it was not going to work for a number of reasons.” Jay used a napkin to wipe the sweat from his brown. “Sharon actually had the nerve to call my mother to talk about it, not realizing that my mother does not interfere with my relationships. But she made an exception that one time.”

  Jay’s focus shifted from Devesh to the garden materials piled up against the wooden fencing, awaiting the landscaping service that was set to come within the next few days.

  “The call was on speaker, and I heard when Mom said to Sharon, ‘Sweetheart, you have three children, a house, a good-paying job and a complete life. He’s a full-time college student. You need a little more man than he can be for you right now. When he gets out of school and has a career—a career, not a job—and some life experiences of his own, then he can afford to be more than just an ear and emotional support to you. He can actually back up that romance with some finance.’”

  Devesh knew firsthand how much of a realist Reign could be, so that advice was solid.

  “I’m single right now,” Jay explained, putting his focus on the cedar wood ceiling of the gazebo. “I’m trying to get my thing together before I bring a woman into my life again. When I do, I’m coming for my high school sweetheart. We were both too immature back then to appreciate what being together was all about.” Jay whipped out his cell and showed pictures of the woman he loved. She was a honey-skinned beauty with hazel eyes and a curvy figure. “But I’ve done some growing and so has she. So I’m hoping that in a few months from now, since my business has taken off, I can step to her as a grown man and handle that relationship business the right way this time.”