Loving Me for Me

by Naleighna Kai

  “You think he’s going to stop?” Devesh roared, snapping everyone else to attention. “How old is Anaya? How old is Ritu? Savina? Tiya?” He scanned the expressions of family members who were suddenly transported inside a nightmare they didn’t know existed. “He hasn’t stopped in all this time because he hasn’t had to. We keep providing him new children and opportunities.”

  Only the men were making the decision in this, when it was the women and their children being violated.

  “Her father guards her in her childhood; her husband guards her in her youth; and her sons guard her in her old age. A woman is not fit to act on her own,” Reign said, repeating an ancient Indian Dharmasastras as she looked first to Anaya, then to Mumma, Sana, and even Tiya. “You can love and respect the men of this family, but you can’t allow them to let him get away with what he’s done to you.”

  She went into Devesh’s waiting arms, and he whispered into her ear, “I apologize. I took it personally that Leena asked you if I could bathe her, and I should not have. If we had been taught that way, my sister wouldn’t have had to endure the things she did.” He tucked a few strands of hair behind his ear. “Why wouldn’t she tell me? All that time, he’d been hurting her, hurting them, and no one knew?

  “Because the adults love him and never suspected he’d stoop so low.”

  “I never liked him,” Devesh growled. “He’s always been a bully—not just to the children. Mama insisted that her sister come to California. We thought Uncle Mitul would remain in New York, since he loved it so much and had several business dealings there. I was disheartened when he arrived two months later. Should’ve picked up on the fact that he was a pervert long before now.”

  Leena appeared in the doorway fully dressed with Kamran directly behind her. “Papa?”

  Reign put a grip on Devesh’s arm to get him to come with her. She quickly placed Leena in his arms. Only then did he let out a long, slow breath and place a kiss on Leena’s temple.

  “Papa, we took a shower,” Leena whispered so only her parents would hear. “Jay said he would wash our hair when we get to his place.”

  “That’s fine,” Devesh said. “And I’m sorry that I didn’t get back up there in time.”

  “Grown up stuff?”

  “Yes, sweetheart,” he replied, tweaking her nose

  Reign picked up Kamran who tightened his arms around her neck and laid his head on her shoulder. In the center of the family room, Mumma held onto Anaya, whose sobs mingled with several other women who were now locked in the prisons of personal secrets that had been revealed.

  Devesh transferred Leena to Pranav, then held open his arms. Tiya ran to him, nearly knocking him over as she held on, shedding her own tears. Papa eventually released Anaya and came to take Tiya from Devesh’s hold and continued consoling her for a moment. Mumma soon realized that Tiya’s tears meant that even though she did not admit it out loud, there were things that happened she was still too ashamed to admit.

  Reign scanned the range of expressions of the men in the room, then to the grandmothers, mothers, sisters, and aunts. “Whether Mitul goes or you decide to let him stay,” she said. “Just make sure it’s understood that if he ever comes near my children, I. Will. Kill Him.”

  “She won’t get the chance,” Devesh said, extracting the cell from his pocket. “He’ll stay here for as long as it takes for the police to get here and sort things out.”

  Pranav clapped a hand over Devesh’s shoulder plucking the phone from his hands. “They’re already on the way.”

  Reign watched Aunt Kavya for a moment, her pained expression and eyes darting everywhere were sure signs that she was filtering through her memories, trying to figure out what she’d missed. Thoughts were probably leaning toward: How could such a thing happen without my knowledge? Most of the family was going to fault her, even though she very well could have been in the dark about all of it. She had just witnessed her life imploding in front of everyone she loved, but the looks a few of them were sending her way said they had already considered her guilty.

  From what Reign had heard tonight—Uncle Mitul’s inability to travel with everyone else because of some unspecified “illness,” also letting his passport expire on purpose; and the clincher—that Aunt Kavya was not a good wife so he didn’t want to be around her much. All of this meant Aunt Kavya was as much a victim as the girls he’d molested.

  “Aunt Kavya, please get your things and come with us,” Reign said.

  Devesh was in total agreement. They had more than enough room at the condo.

  “She needs to be around family right now,” Tiya challenged, straightening her shoulders in a defiant move that made some of the conversations trickle to a halt.

  “She needs to be around people who will support her,” Reign countered, sweeping a gaze to some of the family members behind her. “Several of them believe that she knew something. They’re not taking into account how slick pedophiles can be. They are crafty liars. He did these things when she was out of the house or traveling with your mother. He groomed those girls right in front of every last one of you—not just in front of Aunt Kavya. And he’s still doing it with the current generation of children. All except mine.”

  Reign placed a hand on Devesh’s chest as she looked up at him. “Aunt Kavya’s been lying next to a man who’s brought shame to the family and hurt her daughters in unspeakable ways. She needs a fresh start.” She searched his eyes for a moment. “Ask her what she wants to do. Give her a way to make money on her own so she doesn’t feel like a charity case. But more importantly, find her daughters and bring them back to her. She needs to know that they’re alright and they need to know that everyone will believe them.” Reign’s hands trailed upward to his face. “Devesh, you’ve been all about charity for others. Now, charity needs to begin right here at home.”

  Chapter 28

  Family and friends dinners were suspended for two weeks to give the immediate family a chance to get a handle on what happened that night and to give statements to the police. The experience was hardest on the children who had to be consoled by their unsuspecting parents, and later counseling with a therapist who specialized in sexual abuse.

  Aunt Kavya moved in with Devesh and Reign. And in a few days time, with Jay’s help, they had found Ritu and Savina. Jay set up a video conference for the women to speak. His cousins promised to consider coming to visit for the next East Indian holiday. Aunt Kayva was still weeping with joy over seeing and speaking with her long-lost daughters.

  Today’s dinner celebration was centered around Raksha Bandhan—or Rakhi. This evening when Jay arrived to the house after taking his siblings out for a day at the beach, Anaya and Devesh gave them the material to tie a thread—making a talisman or amulet to place on their wrists as a form of protection. The protection is offered principally by sisters to brothers and the day is observed to appreciate the bond they share. Devesh had given one to Anaya and Tiya. Now Jay and Kamran had made ones and gave them to Leena. She beamed at Anaya and held up her wrists, matching her amulet to the one on her Aunt’s wrist. Anya kissed the top of Leena’s head and smiled. “Yes, I think yours is prettier.”

  Reign watched all of them leave the den where others were making their own bracelets for their siblings. Then she placed the plates around the dining table at Maharaj place, preparing for the family dinner that was taking place for the first time since that night Uncle Mitul was taken into custody. Jay had finally accepted an offer from Devesh to have dinner with the family, and the men quickly shuttled him into the game room for Spades.

  Pranav wandered in from the kitchen, then watched Reign for a brief moment before picking up the last of the plates on the buffet and sliding them into the empty spaces.

  “Your son is killing it in there,” he said causing Reign to smile.

  “Were you behaving yourself in there?” She nodded toward the game room where the sounds of laughter filtered in from time to time, including Jay’s, who seemed to be ha
ving one heck of a good time with the men of Devesh’s family.

  “I was trying real hard not to. Still got my butt kicked, but I’m going to get a little payback later.”

  Reign chuckled. “Yes, you are definitely Devesh’s friend.”

  He paused in the middle of repositioning the floral centerpiece. “And as his friend and yours, too, I’d like to say something.”

  She paused and looked over to him.

  “Don’t let the family get to you.”

  Reign opened her mouth and was about to say that they hadn’t, but couldn’t tell that lie. “I hear you, but it’s a little hard. Thankfully, this is only for eight years.”

  Pranav’s instant scowl was an unexpected thing.

  “What?” she asked, slowly flickering a look over his scrunched up face.

  He shrugged and continued setting out the dinner plates. “If that’s what you want.”

  “I think that’s what the family would prefer.”

  “It’s not about them,” he said, and his hard tone pulled her up short. “Devesh is in this marriage with you – not them.”

  “They mean a lot to him.”

  “You mean a lot to him,” he countered gripping the edge of the table, abandoning all efforts to help her finish. “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

  Reign didn’t have a response to that, but if his best friend was saying this, there had to be some truth to it.

  “I’m glad you’re here,” he said, sliding into the seat at the head of the table. “I consider Devesh my brother, and I want for my brother the very thing I have for myself. Contentment and happiness.”

  She slid a plate and fixed the silverware in front of him.

  “Reign?”

  “Yes.”

  “Give him a chance to show you what you all are made of,” Pranav said, holding both of her hands in his to halt her movements. “Don’t miss out on something that’s good for you too.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” she said, extracting her hands and returning to the task.

  Anaya glided in from the kitchen carrying a silver tray of naan. She winked at her husband, who gave her a lengthy onceover that spoke to the fact that he wanted to do some unmentionable things to her later on.

  “Get a room,” Reign teased, and they both laughed.

  Devesh came sauntering in off the solarium, sliding into a shirt to cover his massive chest and six-pack abs.

  Leena ran from the solarium right after him, still dripping a little water from the pool even with the towel she had around her body. She barreled straight to her father who picked her up, planted a loud raspberry on her cheek that made her giggle.

  “Tum mujhe bahut Khushi deti ho beti,” he said, smothering her cheek with kisses

  “You bring me joy, too, Papa,” Leena quipped as a reply.

  Devesh frowned, tilted his head, peering closely at her face as he asked, “Do you speak Hindi?”

  Leena froze. Shot an alarmed look toward Reign, her green eyes wide with fright. “Mama?”

  “Reign,” Devesh said through his teeth, placing his steely focus squarely on his wife. “Do the twins speak Hindi?”

  She didn’t say anything for a long moment as Pranav, Anaya, and Devesh awaited the answer. Then her shoulders slumped in defeat. “Woh hindi bolte hain aur main bhi.”

  Yes, they speak Hindi and so do I.

  Devesh winced as though she had struck him. Pranav’s jaw nearly hit the table.

  “Don’t tell anyone,” she pleaded in a breathy whisper, reaching for him but he evaded her touch.

  “Why?” he roared, hardly able to contain his true thoughts. “It’s something to be proud of, not hide like it’s a dirty little secret.”

  Aunt Kavya rushed into the room, quickly surveying everyone to figure out what was wrong, and quickly scanned for Tiya. Anaya reached for Leena, but the little girl shook her head and pulled back. A movement he had seen too often as of late.

  “People are able to speak their minds right now,” Reign said in a quiet tone.

  “What difference does that make,” he snapped, as Leena allowed Aunt Kavya to take her from his arms causing Anaya to grimace at the slight. What had happened between Anaya and Leena?

  “Knowing who’s for us and against us keeps us safe,” she said gesturing for the children to go into the solarium.

  Devesh weighed those words for a moment. “I don’t like this, Reign. Maybe people will be more mindful of what they say.”

  The strangest movement transformed Anaya’s expression from blank to alarmed, and it caused both Devesh and Pranav to study her for a moment.

  “What?” Devesh asked his sister.

  “Some of them have said some pretty horrible things about … her.” She placed a wary look on Reign.

  “Within your hearing?” Devesh challenged.

  Anaya snailed a nod.

  “And you said nothing,” Pranav interjected, and his tone dripped with contempt.

  She didn’t bother to reply.

  So much for getting a little pickle tickle tonight.

  Now Reign understood why the children tended to avoid even Anaya these days. They were well aware she, even after all this time, still did not care for their mother. They were well versed in showing their displeasure. Not allowing her into their world—was one. No fake friends. No fake family, either.

  “Like I said,” Reign continued, her face a mask of indifference. “It’s nice to know who our enemies are.”

  Devesh gave a parting contemptuous look at Anaya and aimed for the kitchen, but paused when Bhavin’s voice carried from the game room.

  “Turn that off,” Bhavin said, his voice dripping with disdain. “All that Black Lives Matter crap. If Black people spent more time being productive than criminals, then there wouldn’t be the need for all that foolishness. They’re just lazy and don’t want to do anything with their lives.”

  A hushed silence fell over all four corners as some of the family seemed angry, but looked at Reign and Jay to gauge their reaction. Even the children’s board game in the solarium slowly came to a trickling halt. Reign’s chest heaved. She stepped forward, but Devesh, who had his eye on Jay, held her back.

  Leena and Kamran burst out of the solarium, ran past the kitchen, to the dining room and rushed to Jay’s side. They took one of his hands in theirs, as though to ground him. Lengthy or sudden silences in the Maharaj house tended to be because of Tiya, Bhavin, or Reign—two troublemakers and one rebel. Evidently, Jay was about to be on that same trajectory.

  “And East Indian men would be better off if they didn’t rape and mutilate their women,” Jay tossed out.

  Shocked gasps and roars of discontent swept through all of the rooms as Jay locked a steady focus on Bhavin.

  Devesh leaned against the gathering table, shifting uncomfortably as he remained silent, waiting for Jay to bring the point home. He was certain that those weren’t Jay’s true sentiments.

  “All East Indians aren’t rapists,” Bhavin said between his teeth.

  “And all Blacks aren’t criminals.”

  The silence behind that truth lingered for a hot minute. Bhavin scanned the people nearest him and found that most of their expressions had transformed from anger to totally blank. Point taken.

  “You don’t get to throw that kind of verbal Molotov cocktail out there and not expect for me to rise up,” Jay said taking a few steps toward Bhavin who was more than a little taken aback that he was being challenged this way. “You’ve got the wrong Black man.”

  “So all this marching and protesting is about what?” Bhavin said, gesturing in a wide circle. “If y’all are so unhappy here, why don’t you go back to Africa.”

  Devesh let loose with a curse under his breath. This time Reign’s hand snaked out to keep him from interfering. He exhaled, steadying his focus on the two men in the center of the room.

  “Jay—” Reign began.

  Her son held up his hand to stave off anything she could say.
“No, no, no. I’m not going to let that slide either. Go back to Africa?” he asked, and his voice was hard and intense. “Seriously? And where did y’all come from?” He tilted his head as though studying Bhavin for a major malfunction. “You get to enjoy being here, working here on American soil? Living here, why? Because we built the foundation of this country and its economy. We built this city, and I’m not talking about on Rock ‘n’ roll, either. It was our blood, sweat, and tears. Because the people who took this place from the First Nation, didn’t want to do any of the heavy lifting. So they enslaved the ones who were already here and brought millions over in ships under deplorable conditions.” Jay inhaled and let out a long, slow breath. “This place was built on the sorrow of Black women who were—” Jay looked down at his siblings and said, “Leena and Kamran, why don’t you and the other children go back into the solarium and play for a little while.”

  Kamran frowned and looked up at his brother defiantly and said, “We know this stuff already.”

  “Yes,” Jay agreed, nodding toward the children at the entrance point between the kitchen and the dining room. “But they don’t.”

  “They should,” he countered, and his little lips set in a thin line—a perfect imitation of his father.

  “You’re right, but not now,” Jay put his eyes back on Bhavin. “Seems like I need to take their parents to school first.”

  “You called us by our names,” Kamran said, still keeping a hold on Jay’s hands. “We’re not munchkins anymore?”

  “You’ll always be munchkins, because I’m the oldest,” he countered, struggling to hold back a smile. “I’m fine. Really. Now scoot.”

  Leena grinned before Kamran gave his brother’s hand a final squeeze then led her away. The twins corralled their cousins, ushering them back into the solarium.

  Some of the tension in the room eased during that exchange before Jay continued, “This place was built on the tears of Black women and little girls who were raped by slave masters, mutilated, killed, their children were taken and sold like cattle. This place was built on the anger and frustrations of Black men who were violated, beaten, had their families separated never to be seen or heard from again. And they were helpless to do anything to help their women, daughters, sisters, mothers while anything and everything was done to them simply because they had no power.