Blue Pills

by Armand Vespertine

  “Hold on, I got this,” he said, pulling out the cartridge and blowing on it.

  “That doesn’t actually do anything,” Maverick said apathetically.

  “Maybe not in the real world, but here it does,” Warren claimed, sticking the game back in the console. It still didn’t work.

  “Well then it’s not really an accurate emulation,” Maverick asserted.

  “Oh hush,” Warren said, taking out the game again and blowing on it, this time so hard he spit a little.

  “I’m going to my room,” Maverick said, rolling his eyes and getting up from the chair.

  “No wait! I got it! Maverick!” Warren called, but Maverick gave him no response.

  Maverick simply lied in his bed with the curtains drawn, almost oblivious to the faint 8 bit music coming from the living room.

  All he could think of was Vega, and nothing could distract him from his misery. Not even the sound of his bedroom door gently creaking open.

  He kept running over the morning’s events in his head, thinking of everything he could have done to have made it to that check point. If that golem hadn’t had knocked him into the lava, he could have made it. If he had just been quicker to react, or more attentive to his environment…

  The soft pitter-patter of feet scurried across the room, rustling the carpet as they went, making their way to his bed.

  Maverick didn’t notice, his attention focused on the spot where Vega had laid beside him just the morning before. He couldn’t forget how beautiful and perfect she looked sleeping there in the golden dawn light. He wanted so badly just to hear her sweet voice again. He had tried calling her twice without her answering, and he decided that calling anymore would only come across as stalking and risk driving her away. All he could do now was wait for her to call him.

  Gasping in self-pity, Maverick rolled over in his bed.

  He was greeted by a wide, toothy smile.

  “Ah, I see you’re still awake.”

  “God damn it Aglet, you creepypasta son of a bitch!” he shouted, jumping out of his bed in a fury.

  “I’m sorry. I really am. It’s just, I couldn’t resist,” he apologized with a smirk.

  “How the hell did you get into my house?” Maverick demanded.

  “The door was open,” Aglet replied with a shrug.

  “Warren, how the hell did you not notice a creepypasta monster walking into our house?” Maverick shouted through his doorway.

  “I’m playing Duck Hunt,” Warren shouted back. “Hey, why can’t you kill the dog? He keeps laughing at me.”

  Maverick shook his head, and then sniffled.

  “Were you crying?” Aglet asked.

  “Get out! Get out now!” Maverick ordered.

  “Wait wait wait wait wait. I’m here about Vega,” Aglet told him.

  “What about her?” Maverick asked cautiously.

  “Idolum has trapped her in the Obsidian Palace,” he replied.

  “What do you mean trapped?”

  “He’s slaved Lady Crux to him, so that the dungeon can’t be reset,” Aglet began explaining. “Vega is ensnared in Crux’s cobwebs, so she can’t use her Mana, and she can’t physically leave the Obsidian Realm. Since it’s a dungeon she can’t load herself out either, so she’s stuck there.”

  “Then send someone to get her out,” Maverick said.

  “I did, I created a containment breach quest for Idolum. Several parties have already gone in after him but…he drank the Monovitalist Elixir, and he’s stolen the Sword of Objectivism. He’s basically invincible, and he now commands all the NPCs in the Obsidian Realm. He’s been spawning them like crazy too. Everyone who’s gone in after him has been slain…except for the Blue Pills. He’s been taking the Blue Pills alive and imprisoning them with Vega. I don’t think he’s going to be content to stay in the Obsidian Realm. He’s not going to stop until all of Surreality is his Horror game.”

  “Then delete his account,” Maverick said, as if it was the obvious solution. Aglet shook his head sadly.

  “Our policy is to resolve conflicts in-universe as much as possible,” he said. “If the admins can pull a Deus Ex Machina every time there’s a problem, it would kind of make the players feel superfluous. Besides, I know who Idolum really is, and if we delete his account he’ll create years’ worth of legal bullshit and bad publicity. But, if his character dies because of his own stupidity, he can’t touch us.

  “If we want to save Vega, then we have to kill Idolum.”

  “How the hell are we supposed to do that? You just said he was invincible.”

  “He’s invincible because he’s wielding the Sword of Objectivism, which is not rightfully his. If I can free Vega from her bonds then she can use her Mana to call the Sword to her. All she has to do then his strike Idolum with it. His Mana will be drained and his auras will drop, making him an easy kill.”

  “How do you plan to get to Vega?”

  “I’m a Game Master; I can make us invisible to mobs. I can get us to the Palace, but Idolum will still be able to see me. You’re going to have to fight him to buy me enough time to cut Vega free.”

  “That’s your plan? You’re going to send me up against an elite boss with maxed stats and the Sword of Objectivism? He’ll kill me in seconds.”

  “You might last a little longer in that coat rack you’ve got out there,” Aglet suggested. “It is coated in Mythreal.”

  “It’s also for elites. I don’t have enough stamina to use that thing.”

  “What if it was mechanized?”

  “Even if you could find a Blacksmith who would be willing to mechanize elite Mythreal armour, its power would be drained the instant Idolum hit it with the Sword.”

  “If it was powered by Mana, sure. But the records show that you took the Electric Aura charm from the Aeolic Temple. Do you still have it?”

  “We gave it to Fizwitz,” Maverick told him.

  “Perfect. Fizwitz hates Idolum. He’ll be more than willing to help us.”

  “So your plan is to twink me out in an electro-mechanized suit of elite Mythreal armour, sneak me into the Obsidian Palace using your Game Master mode, so that I can fight Idolum just long enough for you to free Vega?”

  “Yes. It’s a good plan,” Aglet said in a self-congratulatory manner.

  “Even if we’re invisible, Idolum’s still going to have barriers to prevent us from getting into the Palace,” Maverick reminded him.

  “No match for Vega’s Teleportal Caster though,” Aglet said. “Do you know if she had it on her?”

  “No, she put it in her bank vault yesterday,” he replied.

  “That shouldn’t be a problem. I can use my Game Master privileges to get it out,” Aglet told him. “Maverick, listen. I know being used as cannon fodder against a boss like Idolum is terrifying, and I can’t force you to do this, but this really is the fastest way to free Vega. Vega’s not going to log off, and neither will any of the other Blue Pills Idolum’s captured. They’re going to rot in that palace forever unless we do something about it. I’m a Game Master, it’s my job to help players out of situations like this, and Idolum is my personal responsibility. You however have no such obligations. If you rather I found someone else I would completely understand. I just came here first because you’re in Vega’s party, and I thought that you might feel some kind of loyalty to her.”

  Maverick inhaled deeply as he tried to process his options.

  “Of course I want to get Vega out of there, but I died just trying to get to the Obsidian Palace this morning,” he said. “Even with all the god modding you’re talking about, there’s no way I can do this. I’m just…not good enough.”

  Maverick sat on his bed and buried his face in his hands. Aglet let him sit there for a moment before he spoke.

  “Maverick, I think you should know that the rest of Vega’s party has all logged off,” he said quietly. “They just left her there because they had better things to do than to be by her side on the worst day of he
r life. Right now she’s feeling abandoned and alone. If we try to help her, even if we fail, she’ll at least know that somebody cares.”

  Maverick exhaled, and slowly lifted his head. He wore a forlorn yet somehow determined expression on his face.

  “Okay then. If all I can do is let her know that she’s loved, I’ll do it,” he said.

  “That’s the spirit,” Aglet said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “Well come on then you little sad sack, we’ve got a whole training montage worth of stuff to do before you even stand a chance against Idolum.”

  Maverick nodded, rising resolutely from his bed.

  “Let’s go kick some Keter ass.”

  Another raid charged through the gates of the Obsidian Realm. All were clad in black camo body armour in the hopes of remaining unseen. Their attention was immediately taken by the sound of thunderous screeching high overhead. Idolum had somehow managed to spawn pterosaurs in the millions. The colossal flock blackened the sky even more than usual, and they sounded hungry. It wasn’t long before one of the primeval reptiles caught sight of the interlopers. It let out a sounding cry, causing hundreds of the creatures to dive down at the prey beneath them.

  The raid’s gunners were armed with heavy plasma rifles. They unleashed a massive volley of luminescent fire, tearing apart the reptilian raptor’s fragile wings and grounding them. With a quick incantation, the raid’s most powerful Mage fired an immense shockwave into the air, punching a whole clean through the flock of pterosaurs. Thousands dropped from the sky like flies, whereas the survivors immediately retreated.

  The raid pressed on through the hail of mutilated carcasses, heading with steadfast determination towards the palace where their lose SCP was hiding. Obsidian Golems plagued them their entire trek, but the Mage’s sonic vortices pulverized them to sand. Despite the harshness of the environment and the insanely high number of foes, for a moment it seemed like they might actually make it to their goal.

  “Lava Benders!” their lookout cried. In front of them was a line of nearly identical Asian girls dressed in black and crimson armour that included a lower face mask. The Mage immediately conjured a vortex at them, but they simultaneously leaped impossibly high in every direction and avoided it. The gunners fired wildly, but the girls were far too agile to hit. One landed upon the shoulders of the raiders and snapped her neck in between her legs. As she summersaulted through the air she snapped the neck of another raider with her hands, and upon landing took out the legs of everyone around her with a 360 degree kick. With a single kata she summoned a geyser of lava from the ground. The molten rock gushed in every direction, melting the faces of everyone it touched. The raiders tried to retreat, but the other Lava Benders had already circumvented the paths of the lava rivers to cut them off. They summoned more geysers as well, and with their katas they ferociously directed lava projectiles at the raiders, all while gracefully avoiding damage themselves.

  It was then that Idolum came swooping down, decapitating and dismembering raiders with his Sword as he glided through the chaos. His auras deflected the plasma bolts with laughable ease, and no one was able to get close enough to even touch him with a melee weapon. Upon landing he swung his tentacles around wildly, knocking down anyone who stood near him. He paused for a moment, and softly whispered an incantation that enveloped him in an aura of black smoke.

  “Drop the Sword! I’m with the Foundation,” one of the raiders ordered with as much courage she could muster, her plasma rifle trembling in her hands. Idolum snickered as the aura of smoke around him animated into a plethora of nightmarish imaginings that sped through the air at frightening speed, tearing into any survivors. There was a cacophony of screams that quickly fell silent.

  Sheathing his Sword in satisfaction, Idolum listened carefully for any signs of more survivors. He heard only a single voice, mumbling a single mantra over and over again.

  “Secure, Contain, Protect. Secure, Contain, Protect. Secure, Contain, Protect.”

  Idolum glided over to a nearby rock outcropping, where one of the raiders had taken shelter. Clutching his knees and muttering the Foundation’s motto, he didn’t even react to Idolum.

  “Blue Pill,” Idolum said with glee, scooping the man up in his squirming, vermiform appendages.

  Upon returning to his throne room, he carelessly tossed his latest prisoner into the nest-like mass of webs that now held his growing collection of captives. The spiders immediately went to work securing him in place.

  The mass slowly writhed as those trapped inside struggled to free a limb or a weapon. Idolum stood silently and watched them, gently swaying back and forth like a sapling in a strong breeze. Vega glared at him as a baby spider crawled across her face. Her mouth had been covered with webbing to gag her, but the strong and rhythmic breathing from her nose was enough to express her rage.

  “You sound displeased. Are you not happy that I’ve brought you company?” he asked in mock confusion. “It is unsettling though, isn’t it? How fragile are our dreams? So many sleeping souls seeking respite in this mock world from their own reality, willfully ignorant to how easily dreams can be turned into nightmares. The creators of this world are truly omnipotent within it, and they can will horrors into existence just as easily as marvels. You all like to pretend that you’re great heroes here, but I will force you to remember that you are helpless, utterly at the mercy of Red Bull chugging gods. All dreams will die before me. Those who wake to Reality are the lucky ones. Those who cannot leave this world will be forced to watch it decay into nightmarish ruins and burn to ash.”

  A hideous klaxon started blaring, alerting Idolum of another breach into the Obsidian Realm.

  “Another raiding party already, huh?” he laughed to himself. “Let’s see if my forces can take care of it themselves.”

  He called up a display screen, and to his surprise saw only a single dot running along the road to the Palace. Curious, he pulled up the dot’s profile.

  His laughter rang through the cavernous throne room.

  “This is too good,” he said, looking now directly at Vega. “I’ve turned the great Vega Tir-anna, one of the oldest and most powerful players still in Surreality, into a Damsel in Distress. That’s your boyfriend, a white knight charging to your rescue, all by his lonesome.”

  Vega’s eyes went wide, horrified of what was now in store for Maverick. Idolum leaned in, placing his expressionless mask mere inches from her face.

  “He’s not going to make it here of course. My mobs will kill him momentarily. He’ll probably come back though, and I hope he does. I will kill him again and again and again until he finally gives up, and then you will know that even he has abandoned you. You’re a damsel whose knight will never come. It’s both sexist and tragic.”

  Vega fought not to show any weakness to her enemy, but could not stop a single tear from rolling down her cheek.

  “Well, let’s not drag this out, shall we?”

  He placed two fingers to the side of his head in the gesture to activate voice communications. “Crux, kindly send someone to dispose of the trespasser heading for the Palace, thank you.”

  “My Lord, please confirm that command. We have no visual on any trespassers,” Crux replied.

  “It is only one trespasser, so he might be hard to spot, but he is there,” Idolum assured her. An uncomfortably long moment passed before she responded.

  “My Lord, we still have no visual,” she told him. Idolum became visibly unnerved, and stepped away from his prisoners in an attempt to hide his distress.

  “What do you mean you have no visual? I’m looking right him!” he whispered as quietly as he could while still sounding angry.

  “I repeat, we have no visual. Maybe your tactical screen is malfunctioning,” Crux suggested. Idolum switched his screen from radar to video, and quickly zoomed in on Maverick.

  “There, can you see him now? He’s coming right for…” Idolum stopped mid-sentence when he saw the small ugly gargoyle that was piggybackin
g on Maverick’s back. “Aglet.”

  “Game Master!” one of his captives cried reverently, looking up with hope that was suddenly rekindled. “A Game Master’s coming!”

  “Remember that feeling of hope child; it will be the last time you ever feel it!” Idolum said menacingly, drawing out the Sword of Objectivism in anticipation of an attack. “Crux, man the defence turrets immediately! I will not be overthrown by an invisible imp and a filthy gold farmer!”

  The electro-mechanized suit significantly increased Maverick’s running speed, even with the added weight of Aglet. He was having no difficulty maintaining top speed, and was approaching the Palace far quicker than he had anticipated. The less time he spent in the corrosive environment, the more Health he’d have when he fought Idolum, and the more time he would be able to buy for Aglet to free Vega.

  He passed by Idolum’s numerous sentries unmolested. Even the flock of pterosaurs filling the sky was indifferent to him, and they were infamous for their love of shiny things. Each time a distant golem so much as cocked its head at him he was sure it was over, but Aglet’s Game Master mode was 100 percent effective. The mobs’ software simply wouldn’t react to them.

  “It looks like they’re preparing the cannons,” Aglet reported, shielding his eyes with his hand and squinting into the distance. “Idolum knows I’m here. He’ll probably…oh crap! Evasive maneuverers!”

  The great cannons running all along the Palace wall’s perimeter began shooting massive balls of fire, each on a seemingly random trajectory. Maverick quickly swerved to avoid being hit by one.

  “Don’t worry, he can’t target us,” Aglet assured him. “His mobs are firing blind. Just keep an eye out and don’t stop moving.”

  All around them now NPCs were panicking, fleeing wildly from the sudden unprovoked attack. Though he was nearly trampled by a stampeding crowd of golems, Maverick couldn’t help but smile.

  Idolum was driving all of his mobs away just to keep out one Game Master. It meant he was scared, which meant there was actually a chance this could work.