The Sapphire Widow

by Jefferies, Dinah

  ‘William’s catching the bus,’ she said. ‘It’s time.’

  Louisa looked from one to the other. ‘Zinnia’s definitely got malaria, and there’s no quinine to be had here. I want to pick some up in Colombo, so I can take you.’

  ‘That is kind,’ William said. ‘And preferable to the bus.’

  ‘You’d be doing me a favour. And Margo, why don’t you come too? It will give you a little longer together.’

  ‘I’ve booked a room at the Galle Face Hotel,’ William said.

  ‘Well, book a double room too and I’ll take your single. I can’t drive back in the dark in this rain anyway. Margo can come back with me tomorrow.’

  ‘And I’ll come to Cinnamon Hills with you too. Zinnia will need nursing.’

  ‘You’d do that for Zinnia?’

  ‘I’d do it for you.’

  The journey was slow, but eventually they reached Colombo and Louisa drove them all to the Galle Face. A cluster of thin palms stood waving wildly outside but luckily, as they got out of the car, the rain held off. William carried their bags into the large reception hall and on into the Palm Lounge, past the two imposing curved staircases. After they were seated, Louisa glanced over at the other tables and chairs dotted about the polished teak floor, then she got to her feet saying she’d check that their rooms were properly booked.

  At the front desk the receptionist confirmed their reservation was in order, so she went back over to Margo and William to ask if they’d look after her overnight bag until she returned from the dispensary.

  ‘I’d like to get the quinine now. Just to be on the safe side.’

  ‘We’ll take your bag to our room and meet you down here in an hour.’

  Louisa didn’t like the idea of driving again, but it was too wet to walk. It had proved to be the briefest of lulls and now rain was ricocheting off the bushes and pavements.

  After queuing for half an hour at the dispensary, she managed to pick up what she needed. She half regretted not driving straight back to Cinnamon Hills, but the weather was atrocious and it would mean driving in the dark. Zinnia had waited this long for treatment; surely another few hours wouldn’t make much difference.

  38.

  The air smelt of damp leaves and earth as Louisa pulled up near Zinnia’s bungalow the next day. The first person she saw was Conor bursting out of the front door and then heading for the dripping woods at a run.

  ‘What do you think that was about?’ Margo said.

  Louisa shook her head. ‘Probably in trouble for something.’

  ‘I wish I could meet him properly. After all, he is my nephew.’ She glanced at Louisa and reddened slightly. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean –’

  ‘It’s fine. You’ll definitely meet him,’ Louisa interrupted, ‘but the child is a bit on the feral side.’ She got out of the car and Margo followed.

  ‘Have you got the quinine?’ Margo asked.

  ‘It’s in my bag.’ She fished her bag out from the back seat and then began to make her way towards the house.

  ‘It seems very quiet,’ Margo said.

  Louisa glanced about her but didn’t look at anything with any great interest. The woods were especially quiet, apart from the dripping of the rain and the breeze making the treetops dance, just how she liked them, but her mind was on the fact she was about to see Zinnia again. She went to the front door and pushed it open. She saw straight away that it was unnaturally still in the room and Leo was sitting on the sofa gazing into the distance with a blank look on his face.

  ‘I’ve got the quinine,’ she said, talking too fast. ‘We had to go to Colombo for it after all. I got here as quickly as I could. We just saw Conor –’

  Leo held up a hand to stop her.

  ‘What?’

  He shook his head but the look on his face was awful.

  She walked towards him. ‘Leo, you’re scaring me.’

  He got to his feet and held out a hand to her. ‘We’re too late.’

  She took his hand but her heart sank.

  ‘Zinnia died this morning.’

  He let go of her hand and sat down again. He stared at the floor, looking terrible. Wanting to find a way to comfort him, she gazed at his worn face and then his slumped shoulders, where Zinnia’s death now weighed so heavily. She wanted to pull him towards her and smooth out his unkempt hair, but feeling her heart thud, she sat down next to him and waited for him to speak. The finality of Zinnia’s death shocked her almost as much as Elliot’s had done. Having already experienced death didn’t help. There was always the feeling you should have done more. Could have done more. If only you’d tried. And it was always too late.

  ‘She led such a strange lonely life here,’ he said and raised his eyes to look at her. ‘I never felt it really suited her. She should have stayed in Colombo with the bohemian crowd who were her friends.’

  Louisa, holding his gaze, flinched at the sight of his eyes, now so deeply shadowed by pain. ‘Why did she come here?’

  He drew breath before speaking. ‘She had no home for Conor. But it never was ideal.’

  Margo spoke up. ‘We saw Conor running out. Should we try and find him?’

  ‘Not yet,’ Leo said. ‘He’s only just found out. Let it sink in a little first. He’s probably best left to go to one of his special hiding places.’

  ‘But he’s so little to lose his mother,’ Margo said.

  Louisa looked up at her. ‘I blame myself. I should have driven back last night.’

  Leo shook his head. ‘It wouldn’t have made any difference. It was already too late for Zinnia. If anyone is to blame, it’s me. I should have insisted she see a doctor earlier. I just didn’t realize …’

  ‘Don’t blame yourself,’ Louisa said, but as her blood pounded in her ears she knew he would anyway. It was what people did, always looking for ways to shoulder the blame, seeking out some little detail that might have meant things would have worked out all right. Wondering about how they could have made a difference. She had done it with Julia and Elliot too.

  ‘What happens next?’ Margo asked.

  Nobody spoke for a few minutes, then Leo stood as a shaft of brilliant sunlight lightened the gloomy room. ‘Louisa, could you ask your doctor to come out to issue the death certificate, please. He can arrange for her to be taken to the morgue in Galle.’

  Margo got to her feet. ‘Why don’t I go? I know where his house is and Louisa can stay and help you here.’ She turned to Louisa. ‘Do you trust me with your car?’

  Louisa nodded.

  ‘Can I come with you to pick up my bike? It shouldn’t take long and I’m going to need it. My van is still at the mechanic’s. You can wait up at my house, Louisa. I’m sure I’ll be back before Conor turns up there. Once he goes off to one of his special places he’s always away for hours and I can never find him.’

  ‘But shouldn’t you be here?’

  ‘I’ll be as quick as I can. But I need my bike to deal with everything that must be done.’

  ‘Very well,’ she said, though she was concerned about how she would cope with the grieving boy and worried too that Leo had misjudged the child’s reaction.

  Leo locked the front door of the bungalow so Conor couldn’t come in again to be with his mother on his own. After he and Margo had gone off, Louisa sat on a log outside, feeling terribly sad for Zinnia. The woman hadn’t stood a chance, and now not only was Elliot dead but she was too, leaving Conor an orphan. Louisa remembered, even now, how she had felt the day her own mother died. Her father had tried to spare her the pain but she had run into her parents’ bedroom and seen her mother laid out on the bed. The room had seemed very hot and there had been an overwhelming smell of lilies. Afterwards she had never liked lilies and had become a fresh-air fiend. She had screamed until the ayah had led her away struggling and weeping. For ages everything had scared her until she learnt how to put on a brave face. Now she worried about Conor out there somewhere all on his own. Maybe Leo was right and he needed time to
let his mother’s death sink in, but he was so young and she couldn’t help thinking he shouldn’t be alone.

  It wasn’t cold but she shivered. She took several long slow breaths and then made a move. When she got to the top of the hill, she was surprised to see the little boy sitting on the bench in front of Leo’s house. He didn’t look up at first so she went to sit beside him.

  ‘I’m sorry about your mother,’ she said.

  No reply, just a desperately solemn look.

  ‘Shall I tell you a story? It’s about a little girl who was the same age as you when her mother died.’

  He glanced across at her and she could see his eyes were red from crying.

  ‘She thought it was the end of the world. Is that how you feel?’

  He nodded.

  ‘She felt as if nothing would ever feel right again.’

  He nodded again.

  ‘And she felt she would never smile again.’

  There was a long silence and Louisa listened to the birds and the wind shifting the branches of the trees. She looked up at the sky and saw there were patches of blue between the darker clouds, allowing weak sunlight to filter through.

  ‘What happened to her?’ he suddenly said, a look of panic in his eyes. ‘What happened to the little girl?’

  ‘She was fine in the end but she was sad for a time.’

  ‘I’m sad,’ he said.

  Leo’s houseboy came out and told them there was lemonade and tea inside, but it didn’t seem to even register with Conor.

  ‘Come on,’ Louisa said. ‘Come and have some lemonade. Maybe Kamu can find some biscuits too.’

  The child got to his feet but didn’t speak again.

  They went inside and he sat hunched in on himself, his lemonade remaining untouched on the coffee table in front of him. Louisa sipped her tea and thought about Zinnia. She had so wanted not to care but had ended up feeling sorry for her, and now here was Zinnia and Elliot’s child sitting before her, with his heart breaking. How cruel life could be. She suddenly remembered what Margo had said about Irene wanting to scoop up the child, surely all the more so now that Zinnia had died.

  When they heard the motorbike pulling up some time later, Conor leapt up and ran outside. She followed to see him hurl himself at Leo, whose eyes were creased with worry. She felt her own eyes water as Leo picked the boy up and wrapped him in a warm embrace. Only then did she hear the little boy sobbing.

  Leo carried him in and the child remained on his lap with his arms firmly around his neck.

  ‘It hurts,’ the child said. ‘It hurts.’

  Louisa could see how affected Leo was too when he answered in a gruff voice, ‘I know. It hurts me too.’

  Louisa poured Leo a cup of tea and passed it to him. When Conor seemed to have fallen asleep, he carried the child through to the bedroom and only then did he drink the tea, while sitting staring morosely at his feet. There was a long painful silence during which Louisa could hear her own breathing.

  ‘I saw the doctor with Margo,’ he said eventually. ‘He’s coming over so I’ll have to go down to Zinnia’s soon.’

  ‘I’ll stay here in case Conor wakes up.’

  He glanced up at her. ‘Do you think he needs to see her again?’

  ‘He saw her already? I mean after …’

  ‘Yes.’

  She put a hand on his arm and shook her head. ‘Then once is enough. Look, Leo, whatever I can do to help I will. I just want you to know. Just don’t think you have to do it alone.’

  He smiled at her through what she could now see were tears. ‘By the way. The phone line is now installed – they came to finish the job yesterday. I’ll jot down my number in case you might need it.’

  39.

  Zinnia’s tiny funeral had passed uneventfully and Leo had done his best to help Conor through it, holding his hand and hugging him from time to time. There were, no doubt, those who thought Conor too young to attend the funeral, but Louisa and Leo had talked it through and he had made up his mind. It was important Conor be there. She hadn’t allowed memories of what had happened to Elliot to get in the way of her supporting Leo and the boy. Leo’s grief at Zinnia’s death was mainly silent, but she could tell from the way he looked so tense and sorrowful at times that it hurt him deeply. It was hard to know how close the two cousins had been, and clearly they were very different people, but that he felt her loss powerfully she had no doubt.

  And so, life went on in the way it did.

  Work was going well on the emporium and though Louisa was aware of a policeman outside her house from time to time, there had been no further sign of Cooper or De Vos, for which she was grateful. The weather trapped her indoors for much of the time, although, while it was still the monsoon season, they had bright days too. Despite that the air remained uncomfortably thick and humid.

  She called in at the emporium and saw that it looked wonderful. Everything was clean and two carpenters were busy assembling the cabinets. The grilles for the back windows had been installed and she could now really picture how the whole place would look once freshly painted white. She couldn’t wait to see it packed with jewellery and silks, and buzzing with life.

  She was just on her way home with the dogs when Leo roared up on his motorcycle. She hadn’t seen him for a week and had been missing him, and wondering how he was getting on with Conor. Now he parked up outside her house and they went in together.

  ‘Well,’ she said as she hung up her hat and then took his jacket. ‘How are things?’ She pointed at the sitting-room door. ‘Shall we go through?’

  Camille came to ask if they’d like coffee and she nodded.

  ‘So?’

  He seated himself on an easy chair. ‘To be honest, it’s not going well. We’re so busy and I haven’t the time to take care of Conor properly. Not in the way he needs. He spends far too long moping in the woods. Kamu’s looking after him while I’m here – but it’s not ideal.’

  ‘You must be worried.’

  He glanced at her and sighed. ‘Look, I know you offered to help …’

  ‘And I meant it.’

  ‘Would it be too much to ask if Conor could come here?’

  She took a quick breath. ‘Oh!’

  ‘Just during the week. Kamu and I can manage the weekends, but it’s a woman’s presence he needs.’

  Louisa thought about it. Perhaps it was a good idea but … She inhaled, feeling deeply uncertain. ‘Well, I suppose,’ she said. ‘And Margo is here now. I’m sure she’d help; after all, she is his aunt.’

  ‘So?’

  ‘He needs to go to school.’

  ‘And that’s maybe how we can sell it to him,’ he said. ‘He’ll be coming here to spend time with his aunt while she’s here and to go to school.’

  ‘Will that work?’

  ‘I know he’ll hate leaving his beloved woods and his home.’

  She looked at him, horrified. ‘He’s surely not living in Zinnia’s house?’

  He shook his head. ‘No, I meant the plantation is his home. I have a boxroom we’ve made into a bedroom for him. I feel dreadful sending him away but I can’t think of another way.’

  While Camille brought through the coffee, they remained silent, Louisa thinking about what Leo had asked of her. She was full of contradictory feelings. On the one hand she wanted to help Leo but, on the other, even though she and Conor had got on well during the fishing trip, how would it feel to be faced with Elliot’s child every single day? She sat and gazed out of the window while Camille poured and then she sipped her coffee.

  ‘What if,’ she said, ‘we give it a trial, but if he’s unhappy we might have to think again.’

  Margo came into the room at that point. ‘Gosh, you two look grim. Has something else happened?’

  In a halting voice, Louisa explained her decision.

  ‘Are you sure? I’ll do what I can, of course,’ Margo said and then paused. ‘To be honest, I’ve been itching to see my young nephew again.’

/>   Louisa felt a little strange. She was the one who was not a blood relative and yet she would have so much responsibility, and she suspected it wouldn’t be easy.

  ‘When will you bring him?’ she asked.

  ‘Sooner the better. Will the day after tomorrow give you time to prepare?’

  After he’d gone Louisa and Margo walked to Jonathan’s house to see if they could dig out any of her old childhood toys. Dolls had never appealed to her and mostly she had ridden her bike, but there would be board games, she thought, and books too. It might be worth a visit to the big toyshop in Colombo to buy tin soldiers, though she had no idea what the little boy liked.

  The back door was usually left unlocked so they were able to make their way inside and then up to an unused room where Jonathan stored tea chests. Louisa shifted a few of them and found one marked with her own name. Inside was a faded box, for an old board game.

  ‘It’s Pirate and Traveller,’ she said. ‘I remember playing it with my dad. You had to draw a travel card which identified the journeys you had to make. You spun a wheel to determine how far you could move, and the person who arrived first won. The routes were based on real railroad and steamship lines. Gosh, it’s ages since I’ve seen this!’

  ‘Do you think Conor might like it?’

  ‘I have no idea. Let’s see what else there is.’

  ‘He’d probably like toy soldiers.’

  ‘I didn’t have any of those.’

  ‘My mother has probably kept all of Elliot’s.’

  Louisa stared at her. ‘Please don’t tell Irene Conor will be here. I can’t have her interfering at this stage. Things will be delicate enough without Irene wading in.’

  ‘Understood,’ Margo said.

  ‘I’m sure I had a Meccano set. It’ll be here somewhere.’

  ‘Isn’t that for boys?’

  ‘Because Dad bought all my presents I was given a lot of stuff intended for boys. I loved it.’

  ‘Why shouldn’t girls have the chance to make things too?’

  ‘Absolutely. Anyway, if we can find it, it should come in handy.’