Crave

by Margaret McHeyzer

  “Hey,” I repeat again as I gently try to move some matted hair back away from her face. She flinches and closes her eyes, obviously preparing for me to lay an angry hand on her. “I won’t hurt you,” I almost whisper as I soften my tone. “What’s your name?”

  “S-S-Sandy,” she says as she takes a deep breath. Tears cling to her cheeks and her eyes are bruised, puffy and red.

  “What happened, Sandy?” I ask as I sit beside her on the sofa.

  “It w-was my f-fault.” She repeats and buries her head against her legs again, putting that barrier up.

  “I’ll have to call the police.”

  “NO,” she shouts, but doesn’t lift her head.

  “Then you need to tell me what’s happened, and tell me the truth.”

  “He s-seemed so nice, and so, y-you know…” She stops talking and continues to hide away from me.

  “No. What do you mean?”

  “You know.” She urges me without saying anything.

  “No I don’t, you need to tell me.”

  “He was s-so sexy and all d-dominant when he walked in here.” Her sobs grow louder. “And he told me how b-beautiful I am, and I believed h-him.” She stops and takes a few deep breaths. All the while, her eyes are focused on her bent knees.

  “Go on, Sandy,” I gently encourage her.

  “He was so sexy, so c-commanding, and it made me…” Sob, sob, sob. “…so excited. I couldn’t w-wait for him to finish talking to J so he could take me away and make love to me.”

  I swallow a huge lump in my throat. The more she says, the angrier I get.

  “I j-just want to be loved, and I know J d-doesn’t love me.”

  Damn, her words rip at me. I want to hug her and tell her everything will be alright.

  “I w-waited in the car for him, and when he got into the car he r-reached over and started kissing me w-with so much passion, I just melted.”

  Sandy swipes the tears away from her heavily bruised face and winces when the back of her hand, wet with her salty tears, makes contact with an open wound.

  “He was doing everything I n-never knew I wanted. He told me to suck his c-cock in the back of the car, and the way he said it, I just couldn’t wait to get to him.”

  I can see the effects of the situation, but she needs to tell me.

  “He told me to put my hands behind my back, and he put handcuffs on me. I thought he was going to do some sort of kinky shit to me, but he…” She can’t finish the sentence. The wailing breaks through her tears and now she’s struggling to breathe. “He h-held my head d-down and fucked my throat until I p-puked on him. We w-went somewhere. I think it was a f-factory building. He m-made the d-driver carry me inside and s-strap me to a cross.”

  The more she talks, the sicker and more pissed off I’m getting.

  “He…he…he let…” She stops, and I’m damn thankful the room is empty except her whimpering.

  “It’s okay; you don’t have to tell me anymore.”

  “He w-was so m-mad that I threw up on him. He told me I’m exactly like every other slut he’s had.”

  Closing my eyes I bring my hand to my face and run it over my eyes. What the hell do I do here?

  I feel an obligation to go to the police and report it, but if Sandy refuses to confirm it by letting me take her to the hospital, then I’m fighting an uphill battle with her.

  I sit back on my haunches and look up at a broken Sandy.

  “Sandy, we need to go to the police.”

  “You can’t,” she says in an eerily calm voice. “You just can’t.”

  “Tell me why.”

  If her reason is weak, like she’s protecting the club, then I’ll drag her down there by the damned hair and make her tell the police what happened.

  “Because h-he’s got my address and a p-picture of my daughter. He told me he’ll s-sell her.” She begins wailing again.

  This changes everything. She has a kid?

  “She’s eighteen months old.”

  Well, fuck me.

  “How old are you, Sandy?”

  “I’m twenty-one.”

  The anger inside me is bubbling away, but now it’s directed toward both that prick and Sandy. I can feel my blood at the boiling point and I’m about to rip into her.

  “What the hell are you doing hanging around a place like this if you have a baby at home?” I ask her sharply.

  She recoils at my words and I see someone dart out of the meeting room. I turn my angry stare to see that Jaeger’s by my side within milliseconds, and Sarge has his arm wrapped around Sandy.

  “Phoenix,” Jaeger says as he shakes his head at me.

  What, he expects me to shut up and not tell her what a huge idiot she is? Because that’s exactly what she is, a stupid club whore. Why isn’t she home looking after her daughter instead of here trying to screw them all?

  “Phoenix,” Jaeger now yells at me. “Get up,” he orders me.

  “I’m not one of your sluts,” I angrily spit at him.

  “Get your ass up, now!”

  I want to grab Sandy, shake her by the shoulders and yell at her that her responsibility is her daughter and not this club.

  “Now,” he shouts at me again, breaking my wave of anger for a split second.

  I stand and look down at the stupid, broken girl who, although she doesn’t deserve for this to have happened to her–no one does–didn’t do anything to safeguard herself against it.

  “You got her?” Jaeger looks at Sarge and he nods once as he consoles a weeping Sandy.

  “Phoenix.” Jaeger links our hands together and pulls me outside. Without stopping he heads in the direction of a large shed.

  The garage door is up and a couple of his crew, or gang, or whatever the hell they’re called, are working on a big, black SUV.

  “Out,” Jaeger shouts at them.

  The guys look at him, and then me, and leave within seconds. I turn to look at Jaeger and can see he’s clearly pissed off.

  Good, so he should be. Whoever the prick is who did this to Sandy deserves not only my fury, but the anger of the…

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

  What? Me?

  I take a step back and can feel my eyebrows furrow together as my mouth falls open. “Me? Me? Seriously? You’re yelling at me? Are you even listening to yourself?” I shake my head and eye Jaeger up then down. How is any of this my fault? I turn to leave. Screw all of this shit.

  I take one step toward the garage door and Jaeger grabs my arm and tugs me back.

  “Yes, you. Do you have any idea what’s just happened in there?”

  “Yeah I do. Do you? She’s twenty-one and hanging around a place like this while her eighteen-month-old baby is being offloaded God knows where.”

  “Is that all you heard when she was talking to you?”

  “That’s all she said.”

  “Then you’re naive.”

  “How so?” I put my hands on my hips and tilt my body slightly to the side, giving Jaeger the ‘you’re a prick’ attitude.

  “Because you jumped straight into a conclusion without even getting all the information. You’re highly judgmental and clearly, you think like the rest of those narrow-minded fuckers out there.” He throws his hand up indicating the general public.

  “I think for myself,” I say, agitated and angry at him.

  “No you don’t. You have a pre-conceived idea of what we are, and what she is. You know nothing, but you’re quick to assume and then judge.”

  “Really?”

  “You are certainly not what I expected you to be.”

  “So this is on me?”

  “It’s not on you, but you haven’t asked anything. Do you know why she hangs around here and never leaves?”

  “Yeah, to get you to marry her.”

  Jaeger chuckles and rolls his eyes, “You really have no fuckin’ clue.”

  “Tell me then,” I provoke him.

  “It’s not my story to tell,
but seeing as your stubborn, pig-headed ways have likely convinced every guy in there to throw you out, I’ll tell you.”

  “Whatever.” A bunch of Neanderthals want me to leave, fine by me.

  “She was one of the members’ old lady.”

  “And?”

  Jaeger flicks me a look, one telling me he’s not impressed with me.

  “Shut your judgmental mouth for a minute and I’ll tell you.” He gives me a challenging look, but I remain quiet. “They were set to get married, but he died of a heart attack.”

  A heart attack?

  “How old was he?” I ask and take a step closer to Jaeger.

  “Twenty-seven. They’d been together since she was seventeen. He adored her and Destiny with everything he was. He didn’t screw around on her. He absolutely loved her so deeply, it made us all sick to be around him. We were always giving him shit about it, but he didn’t care what we thought. He just kept lovin’ her.”

  “I don’t get why she would stay here though, why she keeps coming back.”

  “Because although she’ll suck us off and fuck us, she really is a good girl, and we’re her family. We’re all she’s got. We’d never let anything happen to her.”

  “But she has a child. She has a responsibility to that baby and if you’re as tight-knit as you say you are, then you guys have a responsibility to her too.”

  “The club provides for Destiny. We take care of Sandy’s and Destiny’s bills, whatever they are. But we don’t judge Sandy for wanting to be here. That’s her decision to make, no one else’s.”

  “Where’s the baby when Sandy is here servicing you all?” My distain is clear in my delivery.

  “The club pays for a nurse to go stay with Destiny whenever Sandy needs the time away, because both Sandy’s parents died when she was young.”

  “Why would the club do that?”

  “Because Destiny has Down syndrome and Sandy can’t always handle it on her own.”

  “And I bet you anything you can’t even remember her name most times.”

  His eyes dart away from me and he looks guilty.

  “So I’m right. You can barely remember her name. But you’re yelling at me and trying to make me feel bad because I believe she should be at home with her baby. Isn’t that a little hypocritical?”

  Jaeger turns away from me and takes a few steps, putting distance between us. Maybe I’ve pissed him off, or possibly I’ve hit on a raw nerve.

  “You’re entirely right, darlin’, and do you know why you’re right?” He leans against the SUV and crosses his ankles and his arms. Obviously he’s defensive.

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m a bastard. I don’t give a shit about anyone except my club and my brothers. I take care of her because Sax was part of my club, and we never let an old lady or their kids go without. But I don’t care about anyone else, no one.”

  “I bet you let her suck on your cock though.”

  “Of course I do.”

  “And that there is not caring about her?”

  “I don’t force those sluts to come here. They all show up willing to screw, suck and do all sorts of things with one or a few of us. We don’t force them to do anything. If they come here wearing those slutty short-shorts with their tits hangin’ out and offer to suck me off, I’ll take them up on the offer. But none of us will ever raise a hand to a woman or a child, no matter how much of a pain in the ass they are. Lucky for you.”

  I ball my hands into fists and the more he speaks the more I want to smack him on his pretty, perfect scarred chin.

  “It’s not up to us to judge them. They want to be here, then fine.”

  “What about Sandy? This guy she was with raped her, and by your own standards, she’s someone you all should protect.”

  “That’s a little more…”

  “Bullshit,” I say angrily, cutting off whatever crap excuse he’s about to try to hand me. “I call you on it. He raped her. She’s one of yours and you’ll let him get away with it?”

  Jaeger pushes off the SUV and takes a casual step toward me as he puts his hands in his jeans pockets.

  “That’s club business,” he says as he looks down then immediately lifts his face giving me an intense dark gaze.

  Yeah, he’s warning me, telling me without saying a word to leave the rapist to him.

  But I can’t let this go.

  “Just give me a gun. I’ll take care of it.”

  “And what are you going to do? Shoot him?”

  Is he mocking me?

  “Did you forget I held a damn shotgun to you?”

  Jaeger angrily walks over and grips my shoulders hard, his fingers digging into the skin. “You have no fuckin’ idea who the hell you’re dealing with. You won’t turn vigilante and try to take this on. This. Is. Club. Business,” he says clearly, slowly, and carefully, emphasizing the point.

  “I’m not part of your club. You can’t order me around. He deserves jail or death. I’m fine with either.”

  “You’re with me, sugar, so you are very much part of this club.”

  My anger overtakes me, and I really can’t help it. He’s such a damned jerk.

  I push my hand up under his and break contact. It’s so fast that I think I’ve thrown him. I slap his face, hard.

  “I won’t prove you wrong,” he says as he lets me go and steps backward to lean against the SUV again. “I’ll never raise a hand to you.”

  “I’m not with you,” I whisper, though I’m sure he doesn’t believe what I’m saying. My own body betrays me. My blood races though my veins, my heartbeat is suddenly deafening as it pounds in my ears. My breathing intensifies and I feel a yearning toward him that’s been bubbling under the surface from the moment I opened the door to him at the farm.

  “You’re with me now,” he says again, so aggravatingly sure of himself. But I can’t be with someone like him. He’s no good for me; he’ll ruin me.

  “No I’m not,” I murmur, the sound not even loud enough to travel to my ears.

  He takes a predatory step toward me. If he touches me, I’m gone. I can’t let him blindside me.

  “You’re with me,” he asserts as he reaches to cup my cheeks with his big, warm, rough hands. “You’re with me,” he says in a low voice as he brings his face to mine, his lips ghosting over my own.

  “No,” I sigh as I lean into him and close my eyes.

  “You belong with me.” His warm, wet lips hover over mine. He’s not being rough; he’s being gentle, silently asking to be granted access to my mouth. Giving himself to me, while patiently waiting to consume all of me. “I want you.” His hot breath touches my skin, sending sparks right through my body, stirring every nerve ending down to my very soul.

  “I don’t want you.” My words hold no conviction, no value. They’re meaningless, even to me.

  “Then show me how much you don’t want me. Kiss me.” He waits without touching my mouth.

  I lean into him, waiting for his lips to dance with mine, but he simply hovers, still not touching me. He’s playing with me.

  His pause gives me the break I need to keep my hormones from falling prey to this hunter.

  I open my eyes and step away from Jaeger, regaining the control I carelessly let slip away.

  “You may have my farm, but I’m not for sale.” I turn on my heels and start to walk away from him.

  “One day soon, Red, you’ll realize that you and I will happen.”

  Like hell.

  Grit: Chapter 13

  How is it possible that out of all the chicks in the world, the one that I want most is also the world’s most annoying?

  She’s narrow-minded too, jumping to conclusions without stopping to consider all the facts.

  But for now, I need to shift my focus away from my cock and Nix and bring it back into the club and dealing with Cain.

  He may provide us with guns, but I sure as hell won’t let him get away with almost killing one of our girls.

  Wal
king back into the clubhouse behind Nix certainly has its advantages, like checking out how tight and luscious her ass actually is.

  My eyes are drawn to the tops of her legs, where her ass cheeks jut out in perfect, round globes. Damn, I wonder if she’s ever been fucked in the ass. If she hasn’t, I’m glad I’ll be her first. But if she has, then she’ll know exactly what to expect.

  I rub my hand down over the hard-on that I promised myself I wouldn’t focus on. But I can’t help getting a chubby with that delicious, tight ass swaying slightly from side to side as I keep my eyes on her.

  “You’re still a jerk and stop eye-fucking me,” Nix yells over her shoulder as she reaches for the clubhouse door.

  That girl, oops, I mean woman is gonna be the death of me.

  Shaking my head, I try and dislodge those ass-fucking thoughts, but it’s difficult when all I want to do is sink into her and screw her ‘til she screams.

  “Prez,” Aaron yells from the bar.

  I look at Sandy who’s curled up at Lion’s side and see that she’s half asleep. His arms are wrapped around her and she has relaxed into his protection.

  Sarge and Aaron are both at the bar with a bottle of Jack sitting between them as they both down a shot.

  “Meeting,” I say loudly, calling the members all at once.

  I head into the meeting room and sit at the head of the table. One by one they all shuffle in and take their spots.

  The door closes and they all look to me to start it off.

  “J, what are you thinking?” Sarge says as he lights up a smoke.

  “First, we don’t run Cain’s drugs, which means he’ll cut off our gun supplies.”

  Murmurs come from all around the table.

  “We need that money,” Aaron argues, and everyone agrees with him.

  “He doesn’t own us,” I add as I bring both my elbows up on the table and run my hands over my face and through my hair.

  “Without that money, we’re no longer a club,” one of the members says.

  Another adds, “There’s always the tattoo shops and the brothels.”

  “We could get into a few strip joints, offer our protection,” Sarge speaks. The entire table goes quiet and looks over at the heavily-tattooed, scary as fuck, Sarge.