Somebody to Love

by Danielle Burton

  “Good night, Sunshine.”

  “Good night, Keem.”

  “I’ll text you, okay?”

  “Kay.”

  I left her with a smile on my face and for the first time in a while the world didn’t seem so heavy.

  ~ ♥ ~

  A few days had passed since the notice of a roommate and it was evident that changes were being made. Nothing had happened to my room yet though, so I was hopeful. That was until maintenance showed up to install a new bed, reducing my living quarters to half.

  It was the following day that the biggest change occurred. I returned from class to find my door wide open and a few boxes sitting outside. I heaved a hard breath as I entered, praying for the best. I mean it couldn’t be any worse than the last three.

  Half way through the door, I paused. “You have got to be kidding me.”

  My new roommate lifted his head from where he’d been looking through a box. His expression mimicked the shock I felt.

  I shook my head, sure now that the universe indeed hated me. What other cruel reason would Jayson Adams be standing in my room.

  Chapter Fourteen

  ~ Kirby ~

  My reflection smiled back at me as I arranged my curls. Keem had once complimented me on the way they fell around my face. We’d had several study sessions for the past couple weeks and my life felt perfect. Not much talking happened in the library of course, but my phone’s inbox was pushing toward a thousand due to all our text messages. I didn’t so much mind the non-verbal conversations, texting made it easier for me to form thoughts properly before speaking. Besides, being in his company was pleasure enough. We didn’t need words. Not when his smiles and stolen glances made my heart flutter a million times.

  It was strange to me how comfortable I was becoming around him. Besides my sisters, the only person I’d allowed myself to let my guard down around was Esme. I loved my sisters dearly, but Esme had always been my comfort zone. Keem though… I felt so at ease around him, like nothing or no one could hurt me. Most importantly though, with him I felt acceptance.

  Most times I felt my family only dealt with me because they had to. Esme loved and accepted me, sure, but she’d known me for a very long time. She was my best friend. Keem on the other hand, was this new person in my life. When I’d freaked out on him, he could’ve shunned me, but instead, without obligation, he accepted the ugly truth about me.

  That’s what made him so special. What made my feelings for him grow. I didn’t know much about matters of the heart, but I knew enough to determine that from my crush had developed something deeper. It was more than just his pretty face or inspirational Instagram quotes now. In getting to know him, I’d come to like him, a lot, and that terrified me more than anything.

  He only wanted to be friends, and who’s to say that would ever change.

  With my heart a little heavier, I finished with my hair then applied some lip balm and gathered my things to go meet Keem.

  The walk to the library from Esme’s dorm was a short one so I arrived in no time and made a beeline for our regular table. Keem was already seated, head buried in a book.

  I paused a bit from the table, studying his features. I wasn’t great at reading people, but something about his expression didn’t seem quite right.

  “Keem?”

  His head jerked up from his book and he adjusted his glasses on his face. Unlike each of our other sessions, he didn’t greet me with a smile. “Hey.”

  Chewing my lip, I eased closer and pulled out a chair diagonal to his instead of my usual spot across the table. For a long time, I sat there, unsure if I should question his seemingly sullen mood. If he confided in me about what was bothering him I’d have to be supportive and try to empathize. I wasn’t sure I knew how to do that.

  Sure, I was capable of empathy, but I didn’t understand a lot of things, namely other people’s problems. What if he wanted advice, or I said the wrong thing. What if I said nothing and he thought I didn’t care. There were so many ways I could mess up. As I sat there sorting through the scenarios in my mind, I glanced up at him every so often. The fourth time I did, his eyes were on me. I dropped my gaze quickly, rolling a bead on my bracelet between my fingers.

  Keem sighed. “Sorry I’m so quiet. I’m not having the best day.” Silence fell again. Several long seconds passed but he didn’t say anything else.

  Oh no. Was that my opening? Had he wanted me to inquire? At least a minute passed and still I sat there like a knot on a log. Now he probably thought I wasn’t concerned about his day. Or that I was rude. And if he thought that he might not want to talk to me anymore or hang out.

  A storm brewed right behind my eyes. Nothing was ever going to change. I’d be this way forever. Awkward and always doing the wrong thing. A normal person wouldn’t have had to analyze something seemingly simple. They’d already know what to do.

  I sniffled to hold back the tears and that’s when I felt Keem’s hand on mime.

  “What’s wrong?”

  I shut my eyes as a few tears dropped and lowered my head. Even when I sensed movement, I kept my lids sealed tight.

  He was in front of me now.

  “Hey,” his warm fingers tilted my chin up. “What’s going on?”

  I sniffled some more and swallowed the bolder in my throat. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?”

  My voice broke when I spoke again. “Your bad day.”

  His hand cradled my face and I trembled as he brushed away my tears with his thumb.

  “Why are you sorry, Sunshine? It’s not your fault.”

  His voice floated over my skin, soft and soothing. Finally, I was able to open my eyes. The way he looked at me made me wanted to close them again. Not because it was bad, but I’d never seen anyone look at me that way. A look I couldn’t describe. It made me feel naked. Not of my clothes, but of my flesh. Like he was seeing inside of me. It made me not so scared and terrified me at the same time.

  My voice trembled severely when I tried to speak. “I-I…I know.” I couldn’t take his eyes on mine anymore, so I looked at his shirt. “I just…I wanted to ask what was wrong, but…I took too long. I wasn’t being rude., I Just–” I stopped rambling long enough to take a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

  His lips moved but instead of forming words, they curved into a lopsided smile. “You have nothing to apologize for. I understand.” His fingers caressed my cheek and I thought I might die. “I get you, Kirby. More than you know.”

  His words brought my breathing back to normal, almost. It was hard to catch the next one with him touching me.

  “Ask me now…about my day.” He continued to smile at me and I couldn’t help but return it.

  “Why was your day bad?”

  “Well,” he dropped his hand from my face. My skin ached, but in a good way, “for one, I got a new roommate when I was supposed to have my own room this year. And what’s worse, is I got the worst roommate ever.

  “Does he snore? Esme does.”

  He laughed and shook his head. “Nah, nothing like that. We just…have history. He uh,” Keem tucked his lips into his mouth and looked off to the side for a few seconds. “He’s my ex-girlfriend’s boyfriend. She was in love with him while I was in love with her, so…”

  I may as well have been a balloon the way I deflated. He loved someone?

  I looked up when he touched my hand.

  “That was a long time ago. It’s just kind of…weird having to share a room with him.”

  “Oh.” I wished I could say something to make him feel better, or show that I understood, but I’d never had a roommate…or boyfriend.

  “It may not be for long though. At least I hope. I was really looking forward to being alone this year.”

  “Why?”

  His brows furrowed. “Why…?”

  “Do you want to be alone?” I hugged my arms to my body, shaking my head. “I don’t like being alone. It’s scary…and lonely.”

  H
e took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze. “As long as we’re friends you don’t ever have to worry about being alone. Call me whenever. I’ll come running.”

  My cheeks ached from a big smile. Could he be any more perfect?

  “So, little miss Sunshine, how was your day?”

  I gave a small shrug. “It was okay. Nothing special.”

  His glimmering eyes lingered on mine and he smiled. “I doubt that.”

  I frowned just a little, confused by what he meant. “Why?”

  “Because, how could any day you’re a part of not be special?”

  Definitely more perfect.

  When our study session ended, all too soon, Keem, as always, walked me back to the dorm. A cool wind raced across my skin, blowing my hair in my face and causing me to shiver. In my hurry to get to the library I’d forgot my jacket. Bad idea since the nights were beginning to chill as the October days crept by.

  Something brushed my shoulder and I jumped before realizing it was only Keem. He wrapped his jacket around me and smoothed my hair behind my ear. More shivers, only these weren’t from the cold. The slight smile on his face clenched my heart and I’m pretty sure I melted just a little as his gaze caught mine.

  I averted my eyes to the ground and barely got out a, “Thank you.”

  The remainder of the walk was completed in silence with my gaze glued to my feet. I was afraid to look at him again. The way he looked at me sometimes…I wasn’t sure what it meant. We were friends. That’s what he’d said, but Esme never looked at me that way. Maybe it was different for guy friends? Everything was so confusing. Esme and I needed to talk about this.

  When we reached Esme’s door, I slid his jacket off my shoulders and held it out to him.

  With that lopsided grin, he took it and draped it over his arm. “Goodnight, Sunshine. I’ll call you when I get in.”

  “Kay…night Keem.”

  He began to back away as I turned the knob and prepared to enter.

  “By the way…” he paused a few feet away, “my days are always special when you’re apart of them.”

  Unable to fight a grin or take his gaze on me a second longer, I ducked into the room and closed the door softly behind me. It took all my strength not to let my jelly like legs give out beneath me and slide to the floor.

  So, so perfect.

  Chapter Fifteen

  ~ Haikeem ~

  I couldn’t fight the smile that stayed with me all the way back to my building if I’d wanted to. I didn’t. Being around Kirby it felt as though the life had been breathed back into me. From her bubbly yet shy personality, to the way she could lift my spirits without even trying. It was that smile. The way she looked at me; shy glances full of curiosity. Each day I anticipated her company and missed it the moment she was gone.

  In the twilight hours I’d reflect on our time together, our texted conversations about nothing and everything. While it was still in the early stages, I was enjoying the friendship we were building.

  A muffled ringtone caught my attention and I dug my phone from the pocket of my jeans. The name on my screen tore my smile away. This made the fifth week I’d been avoiding this caller, along with one other. I paused in the hall, thumb hovering over the red ‘ignore’ button. Guilt filled me. It was shitty of me to keep ducking them. Hell, if not for T they may have filed a missing person’s report by now.

  With a heavy sigh, I pressed ‘answer’, placed the phone to my ear, and continued toward my dorm room. “Hey Ma.”

  “Oh, so you do remember you have one of those?”

  I sighed again. “Sorry I haven’t called–”

  “Or been by.” There was a hard edge to her voice, only used when she was really upset.

  “Or been by. I’ve just been really busy with school and work.” I already knew she wouldn’t buy my excuse because none of that had ever stopped me from coming home for weekends before. “I also picked up an extra shift at Angelo’s.”

  “An extra shift? Why?”

  I shrugged as if she could see me and stopped just shy of my door, leaning against the wall. “Needed some extra cash.”

  “Keem,” her voice softened to that mothering one my dad accused her of using when she was ‘spoiling us kids’. “Sweetie, if you needed money you could’ve asked me or your dad. You don’t need to take on any extra work. You’ll wear yourself out.”

  “I’m good, ma. Nothing I can’t handle.”

  She sighed lightly into the phone. “You work too hard, baby.”

  I’d been doing so for so long it barely fazed me anymore. At fourteen I’d gotten my first job. Just a part time summer gig, but I’d used the money to help my parents. My dad did his best to provide for us, but between his last marriage and one to my mother, there were a lot of mouths to feed. As the oldest, on my mother’s side anyway, I’d stepped up. They didn’t like it at first, especially my dad, but I was adamant about it, so they eventually gave up. Now with three kids to put through college my mother had given up her passion job, teaching special education, to do back breaking work in a factory.

  Again, my dad wasn’t happy with that, neither was I. My job at Angelo’s didn’t help much with tuition, but it stopped them from having to pay for the smaller things like clothes, food, and books. My partial scholarship helped as well. As soon as I graduated and began my career as a robotics engineer I was going to pay them back for going above and beyond to give me and my siblings the opportunities we had.

  My parents were amazing.

  That made me an even bigger asshole for ignoring them simply for being concerned about my well-being. “I’m actually off this weekend. Thought I’d come by, maybe take Tay to that haunted house he won’t shut up about.”

  There was a long silence on her end, likely not believing I’d actually show my face. If that was the case, she didn’t voice it. “That boy does not need to go to a haunted house. He’ll be having nightmares for weeks.”

  I laughed at how right she was. Taylor was a horror buff, loved the genre despite the bad dreams it gave him. “He’ll be okay.”

  “Umph. You say that but you’re not the one he’s going to be waking up in the middle of the night.”

  We shared a laugh then she went into how Tay had been bingeing on some new horror show every day after school and sitting up half the night in the living room with every light in the house on because he was too scared to go back to sleep.

  I shook my head at my kid brother’s antics as another silence filtered through the line.

  “How have you been, sweetheart?” There was a tinge of caution in her voice as she uttered the dreaded question that would usually cause my throat to tighten.

  It did so again this time, though not as much as usual. I pondered that a second before answering. “I’m good.”

  “Are you sure? Miles and I have been worried. Savannah too. She misses you.”

  Another pang of guilt. “I’m okay, Ma. I promise.”

  It wasn’t a complete lie. Over the past couple weeks, I had been better, if only a little. My heart clenched when I thought of the reason for that. I wondered what she was doing right now and missed her already though barely twenty minutes had passed since I’d left her.

  “I’ll take Savannah to get a Halloween costume when I come by.”

  “She’ll like that.”

  “Hey, um, I gotta go. My shift starts in a couple hours and I want to take a power nap real quick.” My words were reluctant. Now that I was on the phone with her I didn’t want to get off. I’d missed our easy conversations. A lot of people may make fun and call me a mama’s boy, but I’d always considered my mom to be my best friend. I was almost as close with my dad. I’d be sure to call him later when I got off work.

  “Okay, Keem. Don’t let this much time go by again or I will come up there.”

  I chuckled a bit. “I won’t. Bye, Ma. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  I pushed off the wall and slid my phone back into my pocke
t, trading it for my key. As I went to insert into the lock, I heard a female voice from the other side of the door. I paused a long second, confused. Then I recalled my new roommate and knew there was only one person that voice could belong to.

  My heart quickened, and I took a deep breath before pushing open the door.

  Their conversation screeched to a halt when I stepped in. I could’ve sworn I’d heard my name, but my attention was too focused on the mass of reddish hair, or more accurately, the face it framed. She sat at my desk, facing him. Her eyes were on me though. An unreadable expression on her face.

  Nearly two years had passed since we’d been this close. Occasionally I saw her around, but I’d always made it a point to steer clear of places I knew she hung out. Made it a lot easier to get over the heartbreak if I didn’t have to see her.

  Her expression soon changed, a smile lighting up her still breathtaking features. “Hey Keem.”

  I glanced at Jayson who sat on the bed taking up half my space, staring at the two of us. “Hey,” I replied, closing the door behind me.

  Gabi stood and took a half step toward me before stopping and pushing one side of her hair behind her ear. It had grown, a lot, and hung almost to her elbows. “How’ve you been?”

  I shrugged, dropping my bag beside the door. “Okay. You?”

  “Good. Really good.” She glanced at Jayson, a bright smile on her face.

  I fought an eye roll. Though most of the pain had worn off, it still bugged me that he, an asshole, had won the girl in the end.

  She looked happy though, so I guessed he was doing something right.

  Besides the hair growth not much about her had changed. Unless you counted the minor weight gain. Barely enough to count, but she was definitely curvier. The tight jeans she wore showed that off.

  Jayson must have noticed me noticing because he frowned at me. He then stood, faced the bed and began rummaging through a small plastic bin.