“Me neither.” I didn’t have a choice. Saige was home when the fire happened but had heard about it via social media and insisted to come check on me even though I told her I was fine.
“I want to take you out somewhere this weekend,” he continued to caress my skin, “on a date.”
I swallowed down a gasp that tried to escape. “A date?”
“Yeah,” he smiled, “you know those things boyfriends take their girlfriends on.”
The gasp couldn’t be avoided that time. My breath hitched. “B-boyfriend?”
He continued flashing that lopsided smile at me. “If you’ll have me.”
“I…” Why wouldn’t my words come? It was like I’d gone mute. I know he’d kissed me, and I’d hoped, but…
“Say yes, Sunshine.”
My head began to move up and down at his request. “Yes.”
His head dipped then his lips were on mine again. His tongue was sweet and spicy like cinnamon candy.
I breathed against his mouth and heard myself whimper. If I tried right now I was sure I could fly. Keem was my boyfriend!
He pulled back and I followed, not wanting our connection to end yet. He pecked my lips a couple times and smiled. “Let me get out of here before your sisters show up. You’re still gonna talk to them, right?”
I nodded. Between kissing and snuggling with Keem, I’d made the commitment to tell them I wanted to change majors and apply to Ringling. I’d promised him I would. It seemed that now I had some other big news to share. I was sure neither would go over well, but it was time for me to be a grown up.
As he walked away, I slipped inside Esme’s room and leaned against the door. I released a contented sigh, unable to erase the smile on my face.
She was on her bed and had looked up when I entered. Her brows pinched together as she stared at me. “What’s with you, smiley? You and Keem make up?”
I nodded even though there’d never been a reason to make up. The only mistake I’d made the other day had been running away. And it was easy to erase the pain of him not coming after me when I learned the reason.
Es stood and shuffled over to me, arms crossed, and head cocked to the side. “Okay, goofy, what’s going on. You’re all extra bright and bubbly.”
I bounced on my heels, fighting the urge to squeal before I could get out the reason for my excitement. “I have a boyfriend!”
Her eyes went wide. “Say what now?”
“Keem! He’s my boyfriend!” The squeal I was holding finally exploded from my lips and a second later Es joined it.
We both jumped up and down screaming. If anyone were outside the door they might have thought we were being murdered.
Es grabbed my hands and dragged me to her bed where she forced me to sit. “Details! Details!”
I started with the visit to The Loft, since I’d been too upset to fill her in the day before and ended with Keem’s request just a few moments ago.
We screamed again, and she hugged me. “I’m so happy for you!” She pulled back, flashing a smirk. “Told you to just be patient.”
“And I should’ve never doubted you.”
Our laughter filled the room but was soon cut off by a knock on the door.
It was Saige.
She immediately pulled me into a suffocating hug. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Saige. The fire was only in one room. No one got hurt.”
Her concerned and mothering gaze swept over me. “I know, but just it being here… How are you…mentally?”
I sighed, thinking of all my meltdowns over the years, some from just witnessing a fire on the news or a movie. I understood her concern. But for the first time in forever, I really was okay. Letting Keem in on that painful memory, crying in his arms, had really helped. It was the first I’d spoken of it since being in therapy and the first time ever crying over it. Somehow it felt as though a weight had been lifted from me. As if finally mourning them had somehow cleansed me.
I may never get over that horrific day, but for the moment it didn’t seem so heavy. “I’m good, Saige. Really.”
The look in her eyes said she didn’t quite believe me, but finally she nodded. “What have you been up to all day?”
Es and I exchanged a look and both did our best to act normal.
I was going to tell my sisters about Keem, soon…ish. I just wanted him to myself for a little longer. Plus, I needed to decide which subject to broach first. We’d had the college conversation on many occasions so it was a real possibility they’d shut that one down right out the gate. Raina especially.
Keem I was sure would be a tougher subject. My dating life had never been a topic of discussion. I’d never had one for it to be. No boys had always been the rule and it was one I’d always followed. Being shy, awkward, and socially inept had always made that easy.
I could barely believe the latest development in my life. A boyfriend? Me? I never really crushed on anyone before Keem. Liking him was safe. For all intents and purposes, he was fictional…until he wasn’t. Now things had developed so much more than I could’ve dreamed when I use to scroll his Insta for hours on end like some weird stalker.
Now I was feeling, experiencing, and doing things I never had before. All because of him. I wondered how Saige and Raina would react if I told them I was in love. Probably say that I had no idea what love was. And maybe I didn’t, but I knew what I felt for Keem was much deeper than some silly crush they’d accuse me of.
Keem believed in me. He helped me along without pushing. He’d broken, albeit only partly, through my shell and was trying to pull me out of it. He made me believe in myself. Made me less afraid of the world. How could I not love him?
“Earth to Kirby.”
I jumped when Saige snapped her fingers in front of my face. “Huh?”
“What are you over here in a daze about?”
“Um…” I scrambled for a believable lie. I hadn’t gotten much better at it. “Just thinking about an assignment due in a couple days.”
Her brows knitted together. “What assignment?”
Darn. Wrong lie. I’d completely spaced that she had all the same classes I did.
“Mine,” Esme spoke up. “She’s helping me with some Calc. I’m horrible with numbers. And its due tomorrow Kirb, so you should spend the night so we can finish.”
Saige made a face at that and I was sure she saw through our lies. Es was a whiz at math after all, but did Saige know that?
“You spend the night more here than at home.”
Es let out an exaggerated gasp. “It’s almost like she should have her own dorm.”
Saige cut her eyes at Es, unamused. “Anyway. Before I go, Esme, will you be joining us for Thanksgiving this year? I’d like to get a head count.”
Es leaned against the dresser, braiding her long hair over her shoulder. “Will there be food?”
Saige seemed taken aback. “It’s Thanksgiving dinner, of course there will be food.”
I fought a giggle. Es loved getting under my sister’s skin. She said it was her way of payback for them always being so hard on me.
“Then do you even have to ask?”
Saige rolled her eyes and stood. “Then that makes five. I’ll be bringing a guest.”
“Six.”
Saige stopped and threw a gaze over her shoulder at me. “Six?”
“Noelle.”
She sighed. “Kirby, Noelle isn’t coming. She hasn’t for the last two years and this one won’t be any different.”
“She might.” I know Noelle had already confirmed to me that she indeed was not, but I still held out hope, just like every year.
At first Saige only sighed once more. “Fine, I’ll be sure to cook more than enough. Just don’t get your hopes up.”
I was grateful when Saige finally left. I just wanted to bask in the afterglow of me and Keem’s newest connection. He was my boyfriend. I could hardly believe it. Scratch that, I couldn’t believe it at all. I’d never thought
I’d have a boyfriend, especially one as beautiful and amazing as him. I wanted to kiss him again. And again. And again. Then lay in his arms ‘til the sun set then rose a hundred times more.
I stretched across Esme’s bed, staring at the selfie we’d taken with my phone before leaving his dorm. It was him kissing my cheek and me smiling so hard it hurt my teeth. I wanted to take a million more of these. And we would, because we were gonna be together forever. I knew it.
My heart jumped when my phone vibrated in my hand. Keem’s name flashed on my screen. I answered with an uncontainable smile on my face and Esme eyeing me with a smirk.
“Hello.”
“Sunshine.” My name left his lips on a sigh. “Miss me yet?”
Was he kidding? “I do.”
“I miss you, too. I called to ask you something.”
I rolled onto my stomach, feet crossed above my bottom. “Yes?”
“Do you still have that yellow dress from the night we first met?”
My next breath came out shaky. He remembered that? “Yeah.”
“You think you could wear it for our date? I know it’s November and kind of cold for dresses, but you just look so beautiful in it.”
Was he trying to make me cry? “I’ll wear it for you,” I practically whispered.
I heard a smile in his voice. “Great. And don’t worry, we’ll be inside most of the time, and when we’re not, I’ll keep you warm.”
He was already doing a good job of that. Heat flooded my body, caused by his husky phone voice, and his sweet words had it radiating around my heart.
“Where are we going for our date?”
“You’ll see.”
I smiled. “Another surprise?”
He chuckled. “Well, you do love them and what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t give my baby what she loves?”
His baby? Squee!
I checked my excitement, forcing myself to speak in an even tone. “I can’t wait.”
“You won’t have to long. Friday night I’m picking you up from Esme’s at six, so save the date. I gotta go help my mom with something. I’ll call you later tonight, okay?”
“Kay.”
“Wish I could kiss you right now.”
“Me too.”
“Bye, Sunshine.”
“Bye, boyfriend.”
I heard him chuckle as the line clicked off.
~ ♥ ~
“Unless you want to lose an eye, I advise you stop wiggling.”
“Can’t help it.”
My heart was beating like crazy. Even more so than the first time Keem had taken me out. This time felt different. And it had me super nervous. So much so that I couldn’t sit still while Esme applied my makeup.
I took a relaxing breath and tried not to move while she finished with my mascara. I’d never worn much makeup. Mostly just gloss, maybe a little eye shadow. Es had promised she wouldn’t overdo it but as long as I’d been sitting here, I wasn’t so sure. And my butt was starting to fall asleep.
“Aren’t you done yet?”
“Almost.” She sat down the mascara wand and plucked up a tube of lip stick in a shade that was really close to my skin tone. She had me part my lips while she applied it, then stood back and looked at me with a smile.
A knock at the door broke the silence of the room and I gasped.
Es gave me a hand mirror then headed that way. “I’ll get it.”
With a deep breath, I turned the mirror to look. It made me gasp again. I was sure from the time it took Esme I’d have some super dramatic look, but it was actually super simple. No contour or winged lashes, just as I’d instructed. She’d only accentuated my natural features. Concealer, light blush, barely there, brown eyes shadow with a shimmer, and a nude, matte lip. I looked like me, but…prettier.
The atmosphere of the room changed, and I knew without looking that Keem was inside. I could feel him.
Slowly, I stood and faced him. I heard a gasp, but it wasn’t mine.
“My Sunshine.”
“Hi.” I tugged at the waist of my dress which I’d paired with black leggings and calf-high boots. I stepped toward him, trembling from head to toe. “I’m almost ready, just need to grab my coat.”
He closed the remaining space, holding a bouquet of yellow flowers. I knew they weren’t the same, but they reminded me of the ones my dad would pick for me. Tears clawed at the backs of my eyes, but I pushed them away. No sadness tonight.
Keem looked handsome in a crème colored sweater with a blue dress shirt beneath and black pants. There was a black scarf around his neck with fringed ends. It was a lot different than his usual look of graphic tees, jeans, and sneakers. He looked sexy in that too, but this style was more grown up and mature. I hoped mine was too.
With a smile, I took the flowers when he offered. “I don’t have a vase to put them in.”
“No worries,” Esme spoke up. “I’ll run to the store and grab you one while you’re out.”
I smiled again and thanked Keem.
His thumb brushed against my chin. “For you, anything.”
“I’m going to grab my coat.”
As I turned, his hand closed around mine and he tugged me back gently. Then I was against him, his hands at the small of my back, and his lips on mine.
His gentle ministrations, the brush of his tongue against mine, sent me soaring, and somehow I knew I’d never come back down to earth.
The kiss ended and Keem’s deep gaze was on mine. I got that naked feeling again, like he was looking inside me. This time it didn’t scare me. He’d seen every part of me and accepted each one. Even knowing my flaws, he still wanted me, and that’s why I loved him.
Es walked by, chuckling. “I’m glad that lipstick is smudge proof.”
Keem released me and I got my black pea coat from Esme’s bed. He helped me into it, gently pulling my hair from beneath my collar after it was on.
“Ready?”
I nodded as he took my hand, then waved at Esme over my shoulder.
~ ♥ ~
He took me to a restaurant called Vegan Soul. It was fancy inside. White tablecloths and crystal chandeliers. There was even live music and an area for couples to dance. As we dined, the man on stage crooned a soulful tune about wanting to wake up next to ‘her’ every day. He was a nice-looking guy. Mocha skin, tapered hair, medium build. But he had nothing at all on Keem.
We’d finished our meals and were deciding on dessert when Keem stood and held his hand out. “Dance with me, Sunshine.”
That got my heart moving again. I glanced around the restaurant. It was pretty crowded and a few couples were already up, swaying to the music.
I pushed out a slow breath then placed my shaking hand in Keem’s. I continued glancing around until we were in the open space in front of the stage.
Keem pulled me close to him and I trembled even more. “It feels like everyone is watching us.”
His fingertips brushed my arms, causing goosebumps to rise. “Close your eyes, Sunshine.” His cool cinnamon breath grazed the sensitive skin of my neck. “Shut everything else out. There’s only me and you. We’re on the edge of the universe.”
His arms wrapped around my waist, chest to chest, heart beating against me. Fast. Like mine. “Are you there?” came another whisper.
I nodded, surprised by how vivid the visualization was. In my mind’s eye we stood amongst the stars, me in his arms, forever our background. I blocked out everything except the music, his voice in my ear, and his electric touch on my skin.
“Feel the music,” his hands went to my hips. “here.” He began to move us to the slow beat. Holding me to him, he rocked us in time with the melody.
You’d think being in his arms so intimately would increase my nervousness, but in this moment, it had the opposite effect. Right now, no one else existed. No one else could see me but him and it evaporated my anxiety. I’d never felt more comfortable than in his embrace. His arms were my paradise, and he was home.
~ Haikeem ~
“Who do I need to thank for you smiling like that?”
My dad’s voice woke me from my daydream. I glanced up from the soapy water and shrugged.
He chuckled, leaning against the sink beside me. “Don’t try to be all nonchalant. You’ve been washing that plate for the last five minutes. Damn near caressing it. Now unless you got some fetish I need to be worried about, spill it.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at his teasing. My dad’s fun side was what I loved most about him. He was serious when necessary, but mostly just one of those goofy dad’s most would be embarrassed by. Not me. His dad jokes kept my rolling.
He probably wasn’t wrong about the dish though. I’d been lost inside my private thoughts of Kirby’s soft skin beneath my fingertips. She was so damn touchable, I wanted to do it every second. And not just to fulfill my selfish need to feel her softness against my palm. It was the way she reacted to me. Soft moans and whimpers when we’d kiss. The hitch in her breath when I’d trail my fingers along her face. The gasp and then sigh that was guaranteed each time I pulled her near me. I enjoyed her enjoyment.
“Come on, now,” he urged. “I haven’t seen that smile in a long while. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen that particular one.” He was quiet a minute, but I could feel his gaze on me. “She got a name?”
“Uh…” I glanced at him again as I rinsed the soap from the plate and placed it in the drainer. Talking with my dad about girls had never been an issue. I could pretty much talk to him about anything. Both my parents. This wasn’t just any girl though. “Kirby…”
His brow was lifted when I looked at him again. “Your mom know?”
I shook my head. Now her I was nervous about talking to about this. I was afraid she’d go all mother hen on me again and try to forbid me from seeing Kirby. I understood my mother’s protectiveness of her. Hell, I’d be even more so. She was my Sunshine. I just hated that my mother felt she needed to protect Kirby from me. It was my own fault, I knew, but I wasn’t sure how to convince her the version of me she’d known over the summer was gone.
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