Wilde Thing

by Jannine Gallant

  Maybe he wouldn’t have to kill his trainer, after all. Or fire him. Tripp pressed fingers to his temples. Hannah was pissed, but hopefully she’d get over it. Maybe she needed a little space and time to miss him. But the thought of not having her around sucked all his enthusiasm for the upcoming championship right out of him.

  “I know you’re mad—”

  Her lips curled down. “Disappointed, not angry. I’d hoped we could find a way for this to work, despite our differences. I…care about you. I…” She broke off and swallowed. “It doesn’t matter. I was wrong.”

  “No, you weren’t. So, maybe we’re still working through the kinks. Doesn’t mean we can’t get them straightened out eventually. I care more about you than any woman I’ve ever dated. It isn’t just about sex. I like you. That matters to me.”

  Her eyes glittered with tears. “This has been fun, and probably good for me to bust out of my boring rut. Getting involved with you was a risk, and I don’t regret it. But I want more than fun and sex and someone who likes me. I want an adult relationship with commitment and a future. Chemistry is a plus. Despite how emotionally invested I am, I need to step back. I need to be smart about this. I learned my lesson about people disappointing me a long time ago.”

  Her words hit hard. Hurting Hannah wasn’t an option, but having her walk away for good…he let out a breath. “I can change. I have already.”

  She held up a hand. “Don’t. You can’t change for someone else, only for yourself.”

  “What if I like the person I am when I’m around you?”

  “I’m glad, but I’m also tired. Can we let this go? If you really want to make some lifestyle adjustments, you don’t need me around to accomplish that.”

  “Are you going home tomorrow?”

  “I haven’t decided. I can’t think right now.” She brushed a hand across her eyes. “I’ll let you know my plans in the morning.”

  He nodded. “Take the bed. I’ll sleep on the floor.”

  “You’ll be too stiff to ski. The bed is plenty wide. I’m going to shower then try to get some sleep.” She passed by, taking care not to brush against him, grabbed something from her suitcase, then shut the bathroom door with a click.

  Misery seized hold of his heart and held tight. His stomach ached. Maybe part of his problem was having skipped dinner in his frantic search for Hannah. Problem was, he didn’t think he could choke down food right now if he tried. He’d blown it with her, taken her for granted, which just showed what an idiot he was. If the emptiness tearing him up inside was love, the emotion was highly overrated. Didn’t matter anyway since she wanted actions not words. Hannah wasn’t big on trust, and he hadn’t done much to convince her he was the type of guy who deserved it.

  After turning off the light, he dropped his jeans and jerked his shirt over his head to toss it on the floor. Lying in bed, the sound of the shower running only added to the tension stringing his nerves to the breaking point. When the water stopped, he forced himself to breathe slow and even. He had to calm down. She didn’t want to hear any more arguments. When she came out, he’d lie still and keep his mouth shut if it killed him.

  Long minutes later, the door opened. Footsteps crossed the carpeted floor. The mattress dipped slightly on the other side of the bed, and the covers rustled. Quiet breathing assaulted his ears. Finally, he couldn’t stand another moment of awkward silence. Rolling over, he pulled her against him.

  “Tripp.” Her voice held a warning.

  “I just want to hold you. Please. I need that.”

  When she didn’t respond but didn’t pull away, he rested his cheek against her hair. Her warmth beneath the long T-shirt that covered her to the knees soothed his soul…for the moment. He wouldn’t ask for more.

  Chapter 19

  Hannah sat on the edge of the bed, her cell pressed to her ear. Eyes closed, she wondered why she’d made the call. Hoping her mother would be happy she’d be able to attend Monica’s memorial after all was apparently expecting too much.

  “You wanted me at the service. My plans changed, and I fly home this afternoon. That means I’ll be available to attend. Why, exactly, are you annoyed?”

  Her mother huffed out a breath. “Typical Hannah. You work me into your schedule at your convenience. Of course what I want doesn’t take priority. Now I assume you expect me to drive down to Reno to pick you up from the airport. As if I don’t have other commitments—”

  She tightened her fist around the phone. “Did I ask you to pick me up? No, I didn’t. There’s a shuttle I can take. I don’t know why I bothered to call. I thought you’d be pleased.”

  Silence greeted her statement. After a moment, her mother spoke. “Don’t make me sound unreasonable. I’m not. I’m just stressed about the police questioning me yesterday.”

  Hannah frowned. “Why would they do that?”

  “They wanted to know if I’d spoken to Monica recently and if I knew of anyone who had a problem with her.” She snorted. “I told them plenty of people had issues with her over the years, but I wasn’t privy to any recent confrontations. Anyway, talking about the situation upset me. I don’t need you to give me grief, too.”

  “That wasn’t my intention.” When the hotel room door opened, Hannah glanced over.

  Tripp’s sober gaze met hers and held steady. He mouthed, “Should I leave?”

  She shook her head then returned her focus to the conversation with her mother, trying not to let the ache in her chest derail her. Again. She’d given herself permission to cry in the shower the night before. She wasn’t going to start up again now.

  “Look, Mom, since you have other commitments, I’ll see you at the memorial tomorrow.”

  “Why did you change your mind about coming home? You sounded so certain your plans were set in stone.”

  “Something came up.” Her shoulders hunched. “Suffice it to say, I’ll be there. I start a new job next week, and I need a little time to make a couple of tough decisions I’ve been avoiding.”

  “Always so dramatic.” Her mother’s voice sharpened. “Fine, I’ll let Lewis know you’ll attend Monica’s service, after all. He’s been in contact with me over a few of the particulars. Monica didn’t have a lot of close friends, so he wanted my opinion on some of the arrangements.”

  “I know you two were tight back when I was just a girl.”

  “Monica was a rock when I needed one.” Her voice took on a bitter edge. “Speaking of which…I ran into Luther right after I arrived in town. He was full of himself, as usual, bragging about that new resort hotel he’s building. He thinks he’s so damned important.” A soft grinding sounded, probably her mother’s teeth. She let out a harsh breath. “I’m having brunch at his restaurant with a friend. I want to see for myself if the place is as ritzy as he makes out.”

  Hannah ran a hand through her hair and sighed. “Try not to get into a public argument with the man.”

  “I’m a little more subtle than I was when we were still married. Damn, I’m running late. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  When the cell went dead, Hannah rested it on her thigh. “Thank God she didn’t accept my invitation to stay at the cabin.”

  “I take it that was your mother.” Tripp crossed his arms over his chest. “Sounds like the decision to go home isn’t the tough one you still need to make.”

  Hannah ran her thumb over her phone and avoided his gaze. “I changed my flight.”

  “I can’t convince you not to leave?”

  “No. Time apart is important for us. I need to think without distractions, and so do you.”

  “I have been thinking. I’m damn sure I don’t want what we have to be over.”

  She sucked in a breath. “What is it we have? I honestly don’t believe you have a clue what you want from this relationship beyond tomorrow or the next day. I need you to give it some serious consideration and come up with a few answers.”

  He frowned. “And then what?
”

  Hannah turned to the suitcase lying on the bed beside her and zipped it shut then rose to her feet. “When you get back to Tahoe, we’ll talk. Maybe find out if our wish lists have anything in common.”

  “I guess I’ll have to live with that, but I’m sorry you won’t be staying for the championship.”

  She bit down on her lip to keep it from trembling. “I talked to Marco about your therapy. He’s willing to take over, and I have every confidence you’ll perform well.”

  “But you won’t be here to watch me.” His lips firmed. “Sawyer called. He and Devin are driving down from Denver to see the event. They’re arriving early to ski for a couple of days.”

  “I’m glad your brother’s coming.” She forced a smile. “You’ll be plenty busy and won’t even notice I’m gone.”

  “Oh, I’ll notice.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I can see you have your mind made up. When do we leave for the airport?”

  “I don’t need a ride. I called for a cab since I didn’t want to screw up your training schedule. It’ll pick me up in an hour. ”

  “Damn it, I can change my workout. I won’t be out on the hill until this afternoon.”

  “Now you don’t have to rearrange anything.”

  He gritted his teeth. “You didn’t have breakfast, and it’s practically lunchtime. Let’s grab something quick to eat downstairs in the restaurant, and you can tell me all about your conversation with your mother.”

  She let out a breath. “Fine.”

  Fifteen minutes later, they sat across from one another, drinking coffee and waiting for their meal to be delivered.

  “Vivian was giving you grief?”

  Hannah shrugged. “Nothing out of the ordinary. She excused herself because she’s upset. The police must still be looking for leads in Monica’s murder investigation since they questioned my mother about potential enemies.”

  Tripp set his mug on the table. “Did she give them any helpful information?”

  “Only that Monica pissed off nearly everyone with whom she came into contact. The problem is too many suspects, not too few.”

  “I’m sure they’ve narrowed down the list of people with a reason to hate her or who have something to gain by her death to those with opportunity. After all, if we saw her fall off that chair, they know exactly when she died.”

  “Good point. I’m still concerned—” She broke off when the waitress approached to deliver their food and forced a smile for the woman. “Thank you.”

  “Sure. Anything else I can get for you folks?”

  Tripp shook his head and picked up his fork. “No, this looks great.”

  Hannah pried a nut off the top of her banana muffin and chewed it slowly while he cut into his omelet. “Didn’t you eat earlier?”

  “Just a cinnamon roll.” His gaze met hers across the table. “You started to say you were concerned…”

  “About the accidents or attacks or whatever you want to call them. I hope you’ll stay vigilant. Shouldn’t you keep clear of the other skiers? Maybe just hang out with Sawyer once he gets here. Or Marco until then.”

  He frowned. “I had a few words for Marco this morning.”

  Her eyes widened. “I hope you didn’t—”

  “I didn’t punch him, if that’s what you’re thinking, though I’ll admit I was tempted when he lectured me on appreciating what I have.” He dropped his fork. “Christ, I’m not an idiot. I value you, and you should know that.”

  Any appetite she’d had deserted her. “Can we not talk about this again?”

  “Fine. Eat your damn muffin.”

  Her stomach clenched. “I’m not hungry.” She was silent for a few minutes while he ate. “Look, I’m still worried about you.”

  He glanced up. “None of my competitors have shown the least bit of animosity toward me. Zeke definitely wasn’t in Tahoe when you fell on the steps. He was in Canada. Laird was actually in the Bay Area, visiting his parents for a few days. I guess he could have driven up to Tahoe to pour water on your steps, but that seems a little far-fetched to me. He didn’t even know we were dating.”

  “So he says. How’d you learn all this?”

  “Casual conversation on the slopes yesterday while we were waiting for our runs. I didn’t tip anyone off that I was hunting for information.” Tripp snapped a piece of bacon in two. “I would have told you last night, but you were with Marco.”

  She held back a sharp retort as their waitress paused to refill their coffee cups and leave the bill on the table. Her teeth clicked against the cup’s rim as she took a cautious sip. Giving in to the urge to engage in petty squabbling wouldn’t solve anything.

  “Where was Jake while we were in Jackson Hole?”

  “Home sick in bed with a bad cold. He’s still coughing a little. He says he didn’t see anyone for two days, which means no alibi, but I’d bet my life he’d never hurt me.” Tripp held up his hand when she opened her mouth. “I realize that’s exactly what I’m doing, so I’ll keep an eye on everyone, personally check my equipment before my runs and make sure I don’t hang out alone. I won’t slack off just because you aren’t here to nag me about being careful.”

  She gripped the napkin in her lap. “You make me sound like a shrew because I care.”

  He let out a sigh. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’m a little on edge.”

  “My leaving really is for the best. You can focus on your training for the rest of the week. I can deal with my mother and the memorial.”

  “Sure.” He stabbed his fork into the hash browns on his plate. “Maybe you’ll even miss me a little.”

  She’d miss him more than a little. Her heart felt like someone had used it for a punching bag. She was tired of pretending she was strong and resilient, tired of trying to convince herself an easygoing, no-strings-attached relationship would end any way but badly. She just wanted to crawl into a warm, dark hole to curl up and lick her wounds. She’d thought she’d buried her old insecurities so deep they’d never see the light of day again, but Tripp had brought all her self-doubt to the surface. She wasn’t ready to battle a lack of confidence and him at the same time.

  He scraped his plate. “Are you going to eat that muffin?”

  “No.”

  His eyes held concern. They also reflected her own pain. “Then we might as well go.”

  She nodded and stood. “The cab will be here shortly. I need to go get my suitcase.”

  He signed the receipt then added a tip and their room number. “I’ll carry it down.”

  Waiting with him under the portico a short time later, Hannah stuffed her hands in her coat pockets and wondered why doing the right thing felt like such a mistake. Probably because pretending her feelings were simply a bad case of lust mixed with strong liking wasn’t working any longer. She loved Tripp, but she was still smart enough to know he wasn’t the kind of man she wanted. The hurt would fade eventually. At least that’s what she kept telling herself.

  “Here comes the cab.”

  Her chin jerked up. She took a breath and reached for her suitcase.

  He laid his hand over hers before she could pick up the bag then tugged her against him. His other arm came around to hold her close. “I’ll see you in a few days. We’ll have that talk.”

  Her throat hurt, so she settled for a nod.

  His mouth lowered then closed over hers. He didn’t stop kissing her until the cab pulled up next to them.

  Breathless, she stepped back. “Bye, Tripp. Good luck this weekend.”

  “Thanks. Take care of yourself.”

  Blinking away tears, she opened the rear door, shoved her suitcase inside then climbed in after it. The door shut with a click.

  The driver regarded her through the rearview mirror. Dark eyes held a touch of amusement. “You need a ride to the airport in Gunnison?”

  “Yes.” She turned to stare out the window as the taxi pulled away. Tripp stood with
legs planted in a wide stance, arms crossed over his chest. He looked ready to take on the world. When he disappeared from view as they rounded the bend, she straightened in her seat and wiped a hand across her damp cheeks.

  “Was that your husband or your boyfriend back there?”

  Her attention shifted to the eyes in the mirror. “Neither. We sort of broke up.”

  The driver snorted. “I must be dating the wrong type of women. The last one I dumped didn’t kiss me. She kicked me in the…never mind.”

  Hannah managed a smile then leaned back and closed her eyes. After getting about two hours of sleep the night before, exhaustion held her in a tight grip. Tripp had fallen asleep cuddling her close, and she hadn’t resisted. Lying in his arms had been both sweet and painful, knowing it was probably for the last time. Because despite everything he said about not wanting their relationship to end, she was dead certain he wasn’t interested in a serious commitment. Not if his response to the women in the hot tub was any indication.

  The snow-covered tundra rolled by outside the window while she mulled over her recent reactions, wondering if she’d been unreasonable, if she was expecting too much from Tripp. Not that she intended to do anything about it. She hadn’t asked him to change, but neither could she. She’d known when she’d caved in and slept with him the first time that their quick dive into a relationship wouldn’t be the stuff of romantic fiction. More like a comedy of errors.

  The cab cruised into the parking lot at the tiny airport and stopped. Hannah pulled her wallet from her purse to pay the driver and added a hefty tip. “Thank you.”

  He smiled as he took the bills. “I hope your day improves.”

  “I don’t think it can get much worse.”

  “Would you like me to carry your suitcase up to the terminal? I didn’t want to get stuck behind that resort shuttle loading passengers. He has the lane blocked.”

  “No problem. My bag has wheels.” She opened the door, stepped out then lowered her suitcase to the ground. After the cab backed up and pulled away, she extended the handle on her case and dragged it through the rutted snow toward the terminal.