Say You Love Me

by Patricia Hagan

  * * *

  The moon slipped from behind a cloud, and the renegade Comanche known as Black Serpent motioned for his men to halt. They were far enough away from the fort that they no longer had to move cautiously and quietly. "Next time," he said, "we will leave our ponies farther away. Their ponies heard ours and the guards were alerted."

  Culojah, the warrior riding beside him, agreed. "Nothing must go wrong. Tall Tree was able to tell us about the temporary storage of the guns and ammunition in a shed near the hole in the wall, but the soldiers will not leave them there long. We must move fast to take them."

  "Yes, but not only for the guns. I want to see Sunstar's daughter for myself." He knew of the raid many years ago when Great Bear's woman, Sunstar, had been taken by the soldiers and how she had fled them to return to the band. He had only been a boy then but remembered well his people's wonder over what Sunstar had done, and how afterward they had accepted her as one of them. But he had never cared for her, because she had belonged to Great Bear. He hated the chief and thought him weak for his talk of peace with the white man.

  And he also hated Great Bear's son, called Luke, even more.

  "You do not know that it is so," Culojah said. "Tall Tree might not have heard right. We need to get the guns and leave quickly, not waste time on the woman."

  Black Serpent glared at him. "I say what we do. Not you."

  "I mean no disrespect. But what difference does it make if she is Sunstar's daughter? We left her and the others. Why should we care?"

  "Fool," Black Serpent sneered. Daily he was reminded why he was the leader; the others were strong and brave warriors, but they were stupid. "Don't you realize it would be my ultimate revenge on Luke? I will take her and make her my slave. And when Sunstar hears what has happened to her daughter, she will grieve, and her pain will be Luke's. And when I am done with her, I will send her body to their camp, and Sunstar will blame Luke for incurring my wrath and causing me to take vengeance in such a way. And all the others will hate him, too, for making Sunstar grieve. He will be ruined. They will no longer want him for their chief."

  Tall Tree nodded. Thinking of it that way made sense. "So we will go back tomorrow night. I will lead the way to the guns. You take the woman."

  "Not that soon. The guns will not be moved for several days, but the soldiers will be uneasy for the next few nights. There will be extra guards. We must wait."

  Black Serpent touched his face and felt the still open wound from Luke's blade. Now the maidens would not talk of how handsome he was. But Luke would pay. With his life. This, Black Serpent had vowed on the grave of his father. "We will wait," he said fiercely, "but I will have her."

  Chapter 14

  "Miss Calhoun–Jacie–if I may," Captain Logan began, "we can make inquiries among the scouts and other peaceful Indians we come in contact with, but that's really all we can do after so many years."

  They were seated in his office, and with barely concealed impatience Jacie had waited for a soldier to serve them coffee and cake before getting to the point of her early morning visit. But now her forbearance was exhausted. "That's not enough. You must send out patrols to look for her."

  "Patrols?" He leaned back in his chair and laughed. Then, seeing her icy glare, he said soberly, "I'm sorry. I don't mean to make light of the situation, but you don't understand. We are at war with the Indians. When we see them, we shoot them. It's that simple. We don't pause to ask if they know of a white woman living among them."

  "I am wasting my time here."

  "No you aren't. Give us a chance." Give me a chance, he thought, panic rising to think she might leave. "A week, at least. You'll be surprised how news spreads out here. I've already ordered that the scouts be apprised of the situation so they can begin making inquiries among their people. Wait. Please."

  "Very well." After all, she reasoned, beneath her perplexity was the smoldering hope that the Comanche would return soon and speak the words she longed to hear—that he knew where her mother was and would take her there.

  "Wonderful. And now that that's settled, let's talk of something else." He reminded her of the tea the ladies were having for her that afternoon and how much he was looking forward to the special supper the Cogdales were hosting for just the two of them.

  But Jacie did not care. All she wanted was for the hours to pass till she could retire for the night and wait for her visitor. And if he did not come, and a week passed with no encouraging news, then she would have to think of a way to conduct her own search.

  She managed to get through the day but by dark was afraid her anxiety would show and arouse suspicion. It was all she could do to make polite small talk during the evening, being careful not to tell the truth about where she was from or mention any names that could be linked to Red Oakes. In the back of her mind she feared that when Captain Logan finally realized she had no intention of accepting his proposal, or of giving up her quest, he might send word back east for someone to come and get her.

  Finally, when the hour grew late and she could stand it no longer, Jacie pretended to stifle a yawn and pleaded sleepiness. She could see James's disappointment, and he took his time walking her back to her room. Outside her door, he tried everything to keep her lingering, and finally she had to be almost rude to make him leave.

  At last alone, she left the door unlocked, the shutters open, and tensely waited.

  But the hours passed, and when the first faint light of dawn crept through the window, Jacie knew the Comanche was not coming and feared he never would.

  Another grueling day passed. The officers' wives decided that to entertain Jacie they would present last season's Christmas chorale, even though it was hardly autumn. Jacie gritted her teeth and went to the social, again counting the minutes till she could once more anticipate her nocturnal visitor.

  Again she waited, and again she was disappointed as the night wore on and he did not appear. Finally, she left her vigil and moved to the bed, where exhaustion carried her away to a deep sleep.

  ***

  Luke entered soundlessly. He crept to the bed and stood staring at her shadowy outline. He had not wanted to come. In fact, as she had waited in vain the night before, he had been on his way to the winter camp, convinced it was best to leave well enough alone. She would never find Sunstar. The soldiers would not know where to start looking. Eventually she would give up and go home, which would be best for everyone.

  But as he had ridden steadily onward, Luke had felt a strangeness gathering within him. Perhaps it was the idea that the girl might actually be Sunstar's flesh and blood. If that were so, it would explain why he was drawn to her. At least that was what he wanted to think, for he did not like to contemplate the feeling of warmth he had experienced at just her nearness.

  He had told himself to keep on going. Not to look back. But by midday, he knew he would never know peace until he heard her out.

  Lowering himself gently to the side of the bed, he put his hand over her face once more to stifle any cry from her at being awakened so abruptly. But awareness came fast and she did not struggle. He released her and gently commanded, "Tell me everything."

  She was eager to do so but first had a few questions of her own before confiding in a man many would consider savage. "How is it that you understand and speak English?"

  "My father sent me to study with missionaries."

  "And why do you want to know about my search for my mother?"

  "I won't know that until you tell me everything."

  And she did so.

  When she had finished, Luke was even more torn, because with each word she spoke, he knew she could very well really be Sunstar's daughter.

  "Do you know my mother?" She asked him. "Can you take me to her?"

  He could hear the desperation in her tone but told himself that Sunstar was better off where she was. In the white man's world, she would be shunned and mistreated. "I know of no one such as you describe," he lied.

  Jacie bolted upr
ight. "Then why did you come here? Why did you want to hear my story? Did you want to torture me by making me think you could help me?"

  "I promised you nothing," he said defensively, experiencing a heated rush as her hands clutched his shoulders. She was wearing a nightdress of some sort, and the material was thin. He could feel the rise and fall of her bosom, her nipples grazing his bare chest ever so lightly. She was dangerously close and all too appealing.

  In an attempt to escape the torture, he fastened his hands on her waist to move her away from him.

  Jacie did not notice as she continued her angry tirade. "Then answer me. Why are you here?"

  "I'm not sure," he said, more to himself than to her. "Maybe I thought I knew someone. Now I don't think so."

  "A white woman?" Hope sprang in Jacie's heart once more. "You know of a white woman held captive by the Indians? Then take me to her, please." Again, she caught his shoulders; later she would be frightened by her boldness but at the moment was not thinking of anything except convincing him to help her.

  "A lot of white women have been taken by Indians. You think you can find every one?"

  She could not see his taunting sneer but sensed it. "Only the ones who fit the description of my mother."

  "You are wasting your time. Go home." He stood. The woman smell of her was arousing emotions he did not want just then. And there was something else he sensed in her that ignited his desire—spirit.

  He could tell she possessed the same strength and spirit that Sunstar had shown once she had come out of her deep depression and embraced his people. Coincidence, he told himself. Two women could have the same traits without being related, and somehow, some way, he was going to make himself believe that these two were not related, because he did not like feeling guilt over keeping them apart.

  But Jacie was undaunted. She bounded to her feet, stumbling against him in the darkness. "And you can go to hell if you won't help me," she said hotly. "You sneak in here and get my hopes up, then refuse to help me. Oh, what's the use? Just go. Please."

  She turned away, wiping fiercely at her eyes and cursing herself for being so weak as to cry. But it seemed the whole world was collapsing around her. Captain Logan had one thing on his mind—persuading her to marry him. The officers' wives welcomed her as an excuse to have socials. The soldiers didn't care. And now a flesh and blood Comanche had appeared to hear her out and then laughed in her face and told her to go home. It was suddenly all too much.

  He spun her about. "I did not mean to hurt you. I am sorry. I shouldn't have come." He cursed the needles of pleasure assaulting him as he felt the softness of her. His naked thighs touched hers through the filmy gown. And was it his imagination or had her nipples become hard as they teased his chest? Could she likewise feel desire?

  Jacie's pulse began to race as she wantonly allowed her mind free rein to envision how it would be to succumb to him, to fall into his embrace—dear God! She gave herself a mental shake and moved away from him. What was she thinking?

  "If you won't help me, then go," she repeated curtly. "Get out of here."

  "I will," he said, equally gruff and lashing out in his own misery over emotions he could not deny. "And if you are smart, you will give up your foolish search. You aren't going to find your mother. You aren't going to find anything except danger."

  All the heartache she had endured the past weeks exploded in her next words: "Oh, damn you to hell! Just leave me be...."

  But he was already gone.

  She flung herself across the bed and allowed the wretchedness of the past weeks and months to burst forth—the heartbreak of learning her parents were not her real parents, the anguish of envisioning her true mother's suffering all these years, confusion about her feelings for Michael, the hardship and exhaustion of the trek west. She had endured it all, only to have a stranger reduce her to sobs of near hysteria.

  But when she had cried until there were no tears left, Jacie wiped her face, lifted her chin, took a deep breath, and acknowledged that she suddenly felt much better. She resolved to try and sleep the rest of the night; in the morning, she would make her plans to leave the post despite Captain Logan's protests.

  There was a settlement nearby, she had learned, called Fort Worth. She would go there and seek help. She would not give up.

  And she would forget all about the Comanche and the strange sensations he had evoked in her.

  Finally, she slept.

  Deeply.

  And when she awoke once more to find a hand over her face, she thrilled to think he had returned and lay very still to let him know she was neither frightened nor angry.

  * * *

  Black Serpent was puzzled by how the white woman did not fight him. Perhaps she was frozen in fear, like an animal knowing it was about to die.

  Slowly, hesitantly, he moved his hand, ready to press down should she try to scream but was further bewildered to hear her excited whisper, "You came back. You're going to take me to her, aren't you? Bless you."

  Black Serpent could not believe what he was hearing but then instantly realized what had to be happening—she thought he was Luke. Luke had been here, and now she thought he had returned to take her to Sunstar.

  With a surge of triumph, Black Serpent knew abducting her was going to be much easier than he'd thought. "Yes," he murmured in reply, not wanting to say anymore than necessary, lest she discover the truth by his voice. "Come. Now."

  "Wait outside. I have to change."

  It was all he could do to keep from laughing out loud as he left, this time going through the door.

  * * *

  Jacie knew they had to leave fast, so there was no time to pack what belongings she had.

  Shaking with excitement, she took off Amy Lou's borrowed nightgown and reached for her muslin dress. All the while she was thinking how she should be terrified to be stealing away in the middle of the night with a Comanche Indian, but she could not let fear stop her. Not now. She had come too far and reasoned if he had meant her any harm, it would have come to her before now. The only possible motive he could have was to take her to her mother, and that belief gave her all the courage she needed.

  Grabbing up the satchel with the blanket and its secrets inside, she rushed out into the night to meet her destiny.

  * * *

  It was nearly dawn when Luke nestled down to sleep among some rocks, hidden from view all around.

  He knew he needed to join his people but could not get the woman out of his mind. He told himself it was because he owed it to Sunstar to look out for her if she was indeed her daughter.

  Maybe he would never know for sure.

  Perhaps it was not important that he did.

  He just knew it could do no harm if he stayed close to the fort for a few more days to keep an eye on her.

  She was obviously disgusted with the army, having gotten no help from them, so it would probably not take much longer for her to heed the wisdom of his words and give up.

  He settled down to rest a few hours before changing into his army scout's uniform and returning to the fort.

  Chapter 15

  Jacie knew, too late, she had made a fatal mistake by daring to trust the Indian.

  Grabbed and quickly gagged and bound the instant she stepped out the door, her struggles were futile.

  "Ah, you brought me your treasures," Black Serpent gloated as he realized she had a small satchel. He wound the ropes that secured her wrists through the satchel's handle, then threw her over his shoulder.

  Terror stabbed Jacie like a thousand needles as he ran with her in the dark.

  "Hey, what—"

  The startled voice rang out directly in front of them. Instantly there came a sickening thud as blade violated flesh and, with a thick grunt, the soldier who had happened upon them fell to the ground.

  His yell, however, had been loud enough for the sentry atop the gate to hear, and he fired his rifle to sound the alarm. At once, shouts rang out amidst the clatter of peopl
e running.

  Jacie heard other voices speaking in a strange, guttural language she did not understand, which meant more Indians. She was shoved through the hole in the fence, and then slung up on her captor's shoulder again. Jostled and bounced, she continued to try and scream against the foul-smelling gag.

  In the scant moonlight she was able to see horses, and men hastily tying things onto the animals' backs, and she knew the Indians had stolen from the fort. Probably weapons, she thought, cringing at the thought of army weapons in their hands.

  She was lowered to the ground but left for only a moment before being hoisted to sit astraddle a horse behind the Indian who had abducted her.

  Repulsed by the feel of his bare flesh, the sweat and smell of him, she shrank back. He laughed, and when he spoke she knew for sure he was not the one who had first come to her room. "So, you do not want to touch me? That is too bad, because I have no intentions of letting you fall. You are Black Serpent's woman now. Scream and you die," he warned, and removed her gag.

  All around them, the others were busy loading the horses. Jacie seized the time to dare plead, "Let me go. The soldiers will be after you and I'll only slow you down."

  He pushed against her, his back rubbing against her breasts. At the same time, he squeezed her thigh and said huskily, "You will make me hurry to where I am going so I can see what you look like. If you look as good as you feel, then I have a bigger prize from the fort than guns."

  Swallowing against hysteria, Jacie told herself that all she could do was wait for a chance to get away from him. For the moment, it was best to make him think she was too terrified to do anything. But all the while she pretended to be a whimpering mass of fear, she longed desperately to get her hands on a knife.

  Someone called out in the Comanche language, and Black Serpent snapped the horse's reins, setting him into a full gallop.

  As they raced through the darkness, Jacie knew she was in terrible danger, for she had overheard stories of Indian atrocities. But even as the horror of her plight coursed through her veins like a mountain river run wild, she was able to keep her senses about her, ready to seize any opportunity of escape.