I stared coldly at her. For a second, I had a fantasy of popping her in the nose as I did Nathan last night or maybe in the jaw. I could almost see the blood spray spattering the front of her designer blouse. I liked the idea, but she wasn't finished.
“Your behavior since you arrived here has been ridiculous. Hiding in your room one minute, playing the dutiful wife the next.”
“What I do is none of your business.” My nostrils flared as I held back my fantasy punch in the face.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Maxwell open his mouth to speak. Perhaps he was going to play the peacemaker. He didn’t get the chance, however.
"I saw you behaving like a slut with my son on the bluffs that day." Mother narrowed her eyes at me.
Maxwell shut his mouth, and I flushed in embarrassment.
Now it was my turn to be speechless. Mother was spying on us? That was outrageous and disgusting. That was the day we had purely animalistic sex, and it was a private moment between a husband and wife. How dare she?
I leaned forward, my eyes locked on hers. “Are you creeping through the woods now? Spying on your own son? You sick freak.”
However, she still was not finished with me. She had one last blow to deliver.
"Savannah knew how to act. Savannah knew what to do and say. She would never have behaved that way on the bluffs."
She drew a breath and went in for the kill.
"It's you who should have drowned, Miss Turner, not Savannah."
Thirty-Six
Before I could respond to Mother's vitriolic attack, a shout came from down the hall. One of the servants rushed in, breathless. We turned as one to face him.
"Savannah's boat has been found!"
Stupidly, we just stared, so he continued.
"A fisherman was out on the lake early this morning. You know the water level has dropped so much since it hasn't rained. He found Savannah's boat, just sticking up out of the water! He called 911, and a sheriff's deputy just came to tell Mr. Randolph."
Mother jumped up, flustered, her hands flapping in the air. “Where’s my son? I have to go to him.”
"The deputy and Mr. Randolph took off for the lake to watch them send divers down to the boat. They're going to try and recover Savannah's body this morning, and then salvage the boat later today."
Poor Nathan. Just what he needed. How did he react to the news? He must be devastated.
Maxwell sprang into action. He pushed back from the table and jumped to his feet, looking pale and worried.
"I've got to get over there, and make sure Nathan is okay." With those words, he was gone.
Mother brushed back a few tears and left to go who knows where. That left me sitting alone, trying to understand what this would all mean for my marriage and for my future.
With grim determination, I pushed my plate aside. My appetite was gone.
Okay, now I knew what I wanted to do next. I was going to fight for my husband. A dead woman shouldn't have power over me, and she should not have influence over my husband, either.
Finding Savannah's body could be a positive step forward. Surely, Nathan could bury her now, and everyone could mourn and move forward. I could be supportive of Nathan and stand by his side.
We had made vows to each other, and those vows should mean something. Nathan had seen something in me while we were in New York City. That is why he married me. Nathan might not ever love me the way he did Savannah, but he had married me. He had chosen me. We could build a life together.
Today was all about Nathan, however, not our marriage. How could I help him? What would he let me do for him? I wanted desperately to be a source of support for him, but what was the best way?
And even though I was angry with Mother, she had truly loved Savannah. Mother was grieving, too, and I hated that she was in pain, despite all that she had done to me.
The morning passed slowly as I sat alone, anxious for news from the lake. I thought about going over to the lake to be with Nathan, but I was aware he might rebuff my attention, and our situation was too fragile right now for a public humiliation. I also thought about riding Bella out to the bluffs, so I could look down on the lake, and maybe see what was happening, but I was afraid if I did that, I might miss Nathan's return to the house.
The hardest thing to do sometimes is nothing.
So I sat alone and waited. Mother did not return. Maybe she had gone to the lake herself. The party staff, under Tanner's watchful eyes, cleaned up all traces of last night's festivities until I couldn't see any sign of the party remaining. Finally, they packed up and left me alone, too.
One of the tour groups came in to see the house. I always made myself scarce when the house was being shown. I never fancied being part of the exhibit. I went quietly up the stairs and stepped back into the same shadows where I hid while waiting for Maxwell to announce me for the ball. The irony wasn't lost on me. I listened to the visitors exclaiming over the loveliness of the house, and speculating on what it would be like to live there.
I wanted to step out from the shadows and start speaking to them. Say, "You want to know what it's like to live here? My husband is in love with his dead first wife, and now he isn't speaking to me at all. My mother-in-law hates me, I mean REALLY hates me, and actively tries to sabotage me every chance she gets. Glamorous, isn't it?"
I fantasized for a moment about changing places with them. I could spend my morning gushing over the history of the house, and its impressive architecture. I could wander from room to room, listening to the docent share stories of wild times at the Randolph family home. I could exit out the main gates at the end of the tour, and leave it all behind me.
But I wasn't going to leave. The fact remained that I loved Nathan Randolph madly, and I was terrified he was going to send me away.
It was a lonely morning. It was, in fact, the most solitary morning I had ever spent at Peacock Alley. I made use of the time, however, to resolve to save my marriage. I needed to be ready for Nathan's return, to be in the right frame of mind. I needed to show I was mature enough to be his partner in all things.
I spent most of the morning in my bedroom, pacing. Memories flooded my mind. I thought about that night on top of the Empire State Building, and how safe I felt in Nathan’s arms. I picked up his pillow, and sniffed it, savoring that clean Nathan smell. He always had a touch of cigar smoke and whiskey in his scent.
I thought about learning to ride Bella with him, and how he had helped me mount her the first time. Safe in his arms again. How he showed me how to shoot the gun despite my fear of it, wrapped up in his strong arms.
I walked down the stairs, wishing I was in his arms right now. I wandered from room to room, and found a piece of pottery we purchased the day I met his grandmother. I turned it over and over in my hands, and recalled talking about having a baby.
At last, I heard a door open in the distance. Nathan and Maxwell walked in, and my heart pounded. Both men looked weary. I called for Cook to bring food as the pair sat down at the table.
I hesitantly sat down with them, unsure of what to say or how to act.
Neither looked hungry, but they made a token effort to eat. I suffered the silence and waited with great patience for someone to speak. Finally, Maxwell took pity on me, after glancing at Nathan several times, probably wondering why he wasn't talking.
"They found a body, Darby. Of course, we are talking about skeletal remains at this point, but the coroner came out and said the bones looked female. Something about the shape of the pelvic bones. And there was still some trace of her flapper costume." He looked my way delicately when he said that part. "Not much was left, but we could tell there was some silver fringe, so they are sure it is Savannah's body. They collected DNA last year from her hairbrush, and they have those results on file. A DNA test will give a definitive answer."
Nathan rubbed the back of his neck. He had aged that morning, it seemed. His face was drawn and tired, and a touch gray in color.
"T
hey're trying to recover the boat right now. That part shouldn't take too long. It was a small sailboat, not too massive an undertaking now that the searchers know exactly where it is." Nathan’s voice showed how exhausted he was, hoarse and low.
Maxwell nodded. "They're trying to work fast because storm clouds are building again. It might actually rain this time."
As he said the words, lightning crashed into something outside with a loud crack, and thunder immediately rolled, startling me. I jumped, and Nathan looked at me oddly.
Then the rain started. It came down in substantial silver sheets, making me think of the sexy fringe of my beautiful flapper dress, whose twin was disintegrating not far from here. I crossed over to the window to look out. This was the first significant rain we had experienced since I married Nathan.
One of the staff opened the front doors, and we all walked out on to the big porch to see the rain. The earth opened up to receive the rain, and a rich, fragrant smell wafted our way. Despite the violence of the lightning and thunder, the trees and plants seemed grateful for the deluge, stretching up their arms to the sky to welcome its sweet relief. There was a slight chill in the air, and I rubbed my arms. It wasn't unpleasant, however. I was glad for a change from the usual humid stickiness that accompanied a typical Mississippi morning.
Maxwell murmured something about seeing to the horses, and he left us again. Now it was just my husband and me. I wondered if he would acknowledge me in some way, but I was too scared of rejection to turn my attention to Nathan.
I finally couldn’t stand it anymore and I glanced his way. I was floored by the sight of tears running down his face, so similar to the rain that was racing down the windowpanes.
"Nate? What is it?" I reached a hand out to him, hesitantly. My heart hurt to see him in so much pain.
Nathan took my hand and pulled me to him. He wrapped his arms around me. "Not here, sweetheart. Let's go somewhere else, somewhere where we won't be seen or overheard."
That scared me.
I let him lead the way, but I was sure he was about to tell me that he had made a mistake in marrying me. He had hinted before that our marriage was an error on his part. My heart was pounding in my chest as I followed.
I thought he would say he was still in love with Savannah, and I just wouldn't do. That he wanted a divorce once and for all, so he could be all alone with his memories of his flawless first wife.
Thirty-Seven
Somehow, we wound up in a golf cart, headed out into the rain. The sound of the rain was deafening on the top of the small cart. I thought maybe he wanted to go back to the barn, but instead, we stopped at the garden house. Surprised, I hesitated before I jumped out of the golf cart to follow him, and ran in the door, unsuccessful in my attempts to keep dry. The rain was coming down so hard that I couldn't see the barn in the distance.
Walking in the garden house made me feel sad. I guess this location held many wonderful memories of Savannah for him, and he would draw strength from those memories in telling me goodbye. Mother had been so gleeful when she told me about all the times Nathan and Savannah had spent there, lost in their incredible love for each other.
I was so tense my body ached, but I needed to hear what my husband had to say. I walked over to the fireplace, and leaned one hand against the fireplace mantel. I waited for Nathan to begin.
"Darby, there's something I need to tell you, and it won't be easy for you to hear." He paced back and forth on the dark, gloomy floor.
Nathan seemed to have difficulty meeting my eyes. I pulled up a chair and sat down close to the fire, bracing for the blow. Nathan surprised me further by fussing with the fireplace. He seemed intent on building a fire.
"You are damp in those clothes, and it is getting chilly. This storm will bring even more cold air, so the day will only grow colder as we go."
I thought he was stalling, not willing to face me and ask for a divorce. I watched him build the fire, and my fear that he was leaving me grew.
"Nate, I love you. I know you are still in love with Savannah. I understand that. I'm asking that we try to move forward together, and build a partnership the best we can. I want to be with you, even if you are in love with her." I gripped the arms of the chair, and leaned forward.
I felt nauseous and fought it back. Now wasn't the time to do something embarrassing, like puking all over the floor. My nerves were getting to me again. I tried to remain calm. At least my voice sounded strong and confident. That was something to hold on to during this stressful conversation.
Nathan stared at me, mouth open in surprise. This wasn't the reaction I had been hoping for from him.
Nathan sat down in a chair opposite me. He began to speak. I closed my eyes, and leaned my head back, concentrating on his deep tones, and fighting a wave of panicked dizziness.
"I have to explain several things to you. Some of this I should have told you long ago. I knew Savannah for many years. We met as children, and most people assumed we would marry one day, my mother especially. But Savannah was wild and dated many men for a long time. I thought she was attractive, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to be one of the many men she slept with."
That was unexpected. I lifted my head, opened my eyes, and stared at him.
"We started dating because it was expected of us. Soon we were sleeping together on a fairly regular basis, but we were both seeing other people. It didn't feel like a significant relationship. The sex was okay, I guess. Honestly, it was nothing special.
I continued staring at him, not really comprehending the words I was hearing. What was he saying?
I gathered myself. “Why did you marry her if your relationship was nothing special? If it didn’t feel like a significant relationship?”
"She told me she was pregnant with my baby..."
I gasped.
Looking away from me, staring into the fire, he began to tell me the story of Nathan and Savannah.
"Nathan, we are going to have a baby. Aren't you excited?"
Savannah smiled rather coldly and crossed the library to stand in front of me. She ran one red-tipped fingernail down my chest and stomach, headed for my cock. I grabbed her wrist to stop her path. She was getting on my nerves. Again.
I did want a baby, but not with her. I was anxious to be a father, that much was true, but I couldn't picture Savannah as my child's mother. She was a cold-hearted bitch, not the nurturing mother I wanted for my children. Now it sounded like the decision had been taken out of my hands. That was what I got for thinking with my dick, I guess.
Well, my mother would be excited. She had been pushing for this marriage for two years now.
"How do I know I'm the baby's father, Savannah?" I tried to keep my voice calm and even.
I thought it was a valid question. Savannah spread her legs for whoever looked interested.
"Do you really think I would be careless with birth control when I was fucking some man I met in a bar? Don't be ridiculous."
She laughed and turned away. I wanted to slap her smug face. I watched her settle on the couch, and she inspected her manicure before continuing.
"I have no intention of being knocked up with a poor man's bastard. Now, you, on the other hand, you have plenty of money. You also have status and power. Peacock Alley is a stunning home, and I can take it over. I see myself living there. And I had noticed you seemed in no hurry to propose, so I thought a baby would move things along nicely."
My jaw clenched as I realized I had been trapped by a ploy as old as time.
Nathan stopped speaking, and I stared at him, shocked at his revelations.
"She got pregnant on purpose?" I couldn't seem to take it in, and understand what he was telling me.
I couldn't imagine that went over well. I felt angry and panicked just hearing the story. My poor Nate actually lived it.
Nathan laughed, and it was a bitter sound.
"Oh, there's more, Darby. A lot more."
Thirty-Eight
I leaned back i
n the chair. I needed a moment to absorb his story, but Nathan didn’t wait. He stoked the fire and went back to his soap opera tale.
I married her, of course. As soon as she showed me a positive pregnancy test. I should have waited, and demanded more. I should have required a DNA test.
"Why are you drinking? What about my baby?"
I was in a rage, sweeping empty wine bottles from the mantle of the fireplace in the garden house. They crashed to the floor, spilling remnants of wine everywhere. A couple of the bottles shattered.
Savannah smiled at me across the room, not caring at all. "I'm not pregnant, Nathan. Oops. I guess I made a mistake."
I rushed across the room to her and found myself with my hands wrapped around her throat. I barely stopped myself from choking the life out of her. I could smell the alcohol on her breath, and it disgusted me. I let her go. I never wanted to hurt a woman. She laughed. Actually laughed at me.
"What do you really care? Did you really think I was going to give up my life of partying? Stop drinking and doing lines of cocaine? A baby isn't for me. A baby would just make me get fat. I have no intention of getting pregnant with anyone's baby."
I stepped away from her, stunned with the realization of the mess I was in now.
Outside, the thunder rolled, low and deep.
"You didn't love her, Nate?" This idea was so different from what I had believed all this time, that I had to ask again. "You were never in love with Savannah?"
"I never loved her. Never. Not even a little bit. In fact, I can say with all confidence that I hated her." Nathan looked right into my eyes as he spoke, and finally, I saw the truth.
This was shocking news to me. I had built up Nathan and Savannah's relationship in my head into the most fabulous romance of all time. He never loved her?
Nathan stirred the fire again, looking thoughtful with furrowed brow and serious expression.
He turned back to me. “I should have divorced her. It would have been messy, but I had a signed prenuptial agreement. But I talked myself out of it. Savannah did fill a role for me, in a way. She got along with Mother and handled all the tedious parties we were expected to host. I didn't love her and had never loved her, so there were no sticky feelings involved. I told myself maybe I could just concentrate on work, and leave her to her stupidity and reckless ways. Do my own thing.”
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