“Then what are you talking about?”
Again, he stares at me with those knowing eyes of his. Why in the hell does he have to be so damn perceptive?
“I happen to be able to tell when you’re lying,” he says simply.
I blow out a gust of air, running my hands through my hair. “It’s not a lie, exactly.”
“It’s just a convenient elaboration?”
“Fuck, Len,” I mutter, glaring at him. “Why do you have to be such a know-it-all?”
He smiles. “I’m going to take that as a confirmation.”
“You can take it as whatever you want,” I say. “I would just appreciate it if you didn’t share your little theory with anyone else.”
He looks offended. “You think I’d do that? I get it, Levi. Why the two of you would feel like this story would make things easier.”
I sip my beer, watching him. Of course he gets it. He’s probably been able to figure out exactly how I’ve felt long before I did.
Lennon leans forward on the couch. “I just want you to be careful, man.”
“About what?”
“You could be setting yourself up for a mess. You and Karen both.”
“How? We’re friends. We get along really well. We like spending time together. All this does is give us an excuse to do that more often.”
His smile is a bit patronizing. “And you can’t see how that could lead to a mess?”
“Lennon, could you cut the wise-old-relationship-expert shit with me? If there’s something you want to say, just say it.”
Len straightens on the couch. “Fine. I think Karen Simpson is not the kind of girl you can pretend to have feelings for without getting in over your head.”
“You think I’m going to fall for her?”
“No, man. I think you already have.”
I stare at him for what feels like a full minute before I burst out laughing. “Lennon. Give me a break.”
He raises his eyebrows another fraction but doesn’t respond.
“If I had feelings for her, wouldn’t I just ask her to date me, instead of pretending?”
He shrugs and I feel a stab of annoyance. “I’m pretty sure you were present for my melt-down over Daisy’s baby. You really think I went from that to falling for her friend in a few weeks?”
“You said you didn’t love Daisy anymore.”
“I don’t.” The annoyance grows. In fact, I’m starting to get pissed, but I’m not exactly sure why. “But I did love her. For a really long time. And this is the first time I’ve been in the same space as her in years. I’m certainly not ready to fall for someone else.”
“If you say so.”
Seriously. He is so fucking smug when he thinks he’s right about something. “Lennon, Karen is having some relationship issues of her own, okay? This is merely a way to help us get through what has so far been an awkward experience for both of us. We’re helping each other. Because we’re friends.”
Lennon holds up his hands. “I think being friends is all fine and good. And if pretending to be more makes the two of you feel better about being on tour, I’m not going to try and stop you. But you should really think about what’s going to happen when this is all over. When the tour is done and you guys stop pretending. When she goes back to her own life. How are you going to feel then?”
I stand. “I think my therapy session is over. Thanks for the advice.”
“I just don’t want to see you hurt.”
I down the rest of the beer before placing the empty bottle on the table. “Thanks, buddy. But I can handle it.”
I leave Lennon alone on the bus and go off in search of the only person on this tour who hasn’t pissed me off in the last twenty-four hours.
***
“There you are,” Karen says, looking up from the merch table fifteen minutes later. She smiles at me, and I can’t help replaying what Lennon said. Thanks a lot, Len, I think to myself. Way to get in my head.
“How’s it going?” I ask, joining her behind the table to pull the remaining hoodies from the box she’s working on.
“The usual. I fold, I stack, I sell. Real exciting.”
I bump her shoulder. “Hey, it beats working at a fast-food place for the summer.”
She makes a scathing noise in the back of her throat. “You have a point.”
“So, how’s day one of being my pretend girlfriend treating you?”
She looks around the room as if to make sure no famous rock stars are approaching. “It’s been pretty good, actually. Sam talked to me for fifteen whole minutes without once looking like the sight of me made her skin crawl.”
I wince. “I guess that’s progress.”
She laughs. “I’ll say. And Daisy seems entirely too happy about the entire thing.”
“Yeah, that’s what Daltrey said.”
She freezes mid-fold to stare at me. “Daltrey talked to you?”
“Crazy, huh? He was almost civil. He didn’t even call me an asshole.”
She whistles. “Wow. Maybe this wasn’t such a crazy idea, after all.”
I fold a few hoodies, debating whether or not to share my most recent conversation with another Ransome brother. “Lennon doesn’t buy it,” I finally say, figuring she should have a heads-up, just in case. “You and me. He knows it’s fake.”
Karen frowns at the stack of tote bags she’s just set on the table. “How does he know?”
“Because he’s a perceptive emo bastard.”
She snorts. “You think he’ll tell anyone?”
“Nah. Lennon can keep a secret.”
She nods. “Well, maybe it’s not such a bad thing, to have someone on our side. At least we won’t have to lie to everyone, you know?”
“You’re feeling bad for lying to Paige?”
“Paige has been so insanely over the moon about this entire thing, she’s driving me crazy. Honestly, at this point, she’s bugging me so much, I figure she deserves whatever she gets.” Karen smiles up at me. “I sound like a major bitch, don’t I?”
Of course her smile—not to mention the way the lobby lights reflect off her hair and the way her eyelashes flutter a little when she looks up at me—has me thinking about Lennon’s assertion on the bus. I find my throat feeling distinctly dry as I look down at her. If nothing else, Cash and Lennon were right about one thing: Karen Simpson is way too gorgeous for a guy like me.
“Levi?” she asks, her sheepish smile turning to one of concern. “You okay?”
“Oh, yeah,” I say quickly, realizing that I was gaping at her. I’m going to kill Lennon. “Sorry, I got distracted. Just thinking about…the show.”
She laughs. “I think you’re still shell-shocked that Dalt talked to you.”
My laugh feels forced. “Right.”
Karen finishes stacking the tote bags and puts her hands on her hips, looking around her table. “I think I’m all set here. Wanna grab a drink in the dressing room?” She grabs my arm to peer at the watch on my wrist. “I have a couple minutes before the doors open.”
A shower of sparks seems to erupt on my skin where her fingers touch it. She’s pressed up close to my shoulder, the side of her breast grazing my arm. The now-familiar vanilla scent of her shampoo invades my nose, and a sudden flash of the way it had felt to bury my face in her long hair assaults me. And that memory leads to a quick succession of others. Her lips against mine. The softness of her skin, just below her collarbone. Karen on top of me in bed, her neck arched….
“You know” I say, taking a step back, “I forgot to do something. In the…wings. For the band.”
Karen doesn’t seem to register my babbling. “Okay. I’ll see you after the show?”
“Yup. Of course. Sounds good.”
She gives a little wave as she walks off in the direction of the dressing room. I watch her go, my eyes drawn to her ass, which looks particularly great in the tight, dark-wash jeans—
“What in the hell are you doing?” I mutter to myself, sh
aking my head. I’ve made it a habit not to think of Karen like that ever since I saw her at Reed’s party. It’s an important habit to practice, since Karen and I are not together like that. Well, now everyone thinks we are, but that doesn’t mean I have any kind of claim on her. Or right to picture her naked.
Great. Now I’m totally picturing her naked.
This is all Lennon’s fault, I think to myself. Everything had been going great ever since Karen and I “came out” about our relationship. There was no awkwardness between us, and the response from the others was exactly what we were hoping for. Everything was going perfectly until Lennon just had to share his almighty wisdom with me. And now I was getting weird about it.
No, I think, running my hands over my face. You’re not going to get weird. You’re not going to allow it. Daltrey is talking to you. Daisy is happy. No one has looked at you like a poor little lovesick loser all day.
I would just have to stop thinking about her like that. Just as I’d been managing ever since we joined the tour.
“Hey.”
I jump at the unexpected voice, turning to see Dan approaching the merch table from the doors to the theater. “How’s it going?”
“Fine,” I say, lamely straightening the stack of hoodies in front of me. “How are you?”
“Good. Everything set for the opener?”
I nod. “Just waiting for the doors to open.”
“Great.” Dan looks around at the merch area. “So, is, uh, Karen around?”
My eyes narrow a little as I take in the awkward slant of his shoulders, the way his gaze darts around without looking at me. “She’s on the bus,” I lie. The last thing she needs right now is Dan bugging her before she has to start interacting with customers.
“Ah,” he says, still not meeting my eyes. He starts to inch away, clearly eager to go look for her.
“Why did you need to see her?” There’s a definite edge to my voice, and Dan finally looks up, his eyes searching mine. His face seems to tighten.
“I guess it’s true then,” he says. “The rumors I’ve been hearing today.”
“Yeah.” The edge grows in my voice. “If by rumors, you’re talking about me and Karen.”
“The two of you are together.” It’s not a question. I cross my arms and take a step closer to him.
“We are.”
“And I take it you…know about our history.”
I snort. “If you want to call it that. Yeah, I know about the way you treated her.”
If I thought he was going to be contrite or embarrassed, he surprises me. Instead, he mimics my posture, crossing his arms and glaring at me.
“It was a complicated situation. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”
“I think I understand a lot more than you would imagine.” My heart is starting to thud in my chest. I’ve never been great at confrontation, preferring to make people laugh or smooth it over when things get tense. But somehow, I don’t feel like that now. I kind of want to punch Dan in the face. The very thought makes my lips turn up in a grim smile.
“Yeah?” he asks all casual like, but there’s a bite to his voice. “And what do you understand?”
“That she doesn’t want you messing with her anymore.” I pause, glaring at him. “And neither do I.”
For a minute, I think he’s going to push me. But then, he steps back, hands raised innocently. There’s a sneer on his face that I don’t like the look of. “I have no plans to mess with your girl,” he says. “I just wanted to ask her about the stock order.”
“Sure. Well, I’ll tell her to let you know if she has any issues with it.”
“You do that.”
We glare at each other for a long minute before Dan finally turns to walk away. “Congratulations, Levi. I’m sure you’ll make Karen very happy.” His tone makes it perfectly clear that he has doubts about my ability to do so.
“I have every intention to make her happy,” I snap. “For a very long time.”
He stalks off into the theater, and I stand at the merch table, breathing heavily. I really could have punched him, could have slammed my fist into his smug face. What right did he have to act like he had some kind of a claim on her, after everything he had done?
All the more reason to get your shit together, I think, feeling a surge of determination. Karen didn’t deserve to deal with his bullshit. And if being my girlfriend could shield her from that, we were absolutely doing the right thing. And there was no way in hell I was going to mess that up for her. Not when it would put her at risk of that asshole meddling in her life.
Chapter Thirteen
Karen
It’s a hell of a lot easier to have a pretend relationship than I thought. Paige took care of telling everyone for us—in fact, I’m pretty sure if there’s a record for gossip sharing, Paige broke it. It seems like the entire band, crew, and opening band knew within an hour of Paige learning that we are a couple.
Levi’s prediction that not much would change turned out to be pretty accurate. We spend about the same amount of time together as we did before, but now, I’m not seeing so many questioning glances from the others. As far as the physical stuff goes, none of the other couples on the bus are super into PDA, so our lack of overt romantic interaction doesn’t seem to stand out too much. Sometimes, he puts his arm around me, and I do my best not to roll my eyes—which I’m pretty sure would be my reaction even if we were for real dating, and not just fake dating.
All in all, what began as a whim is, so far, resulting in pretty positive results for both of us. Dan has backed off, which I couldn’t be happier about. Daisy and Paige are no longer shooting Levi pitying little looks. Even Daltrey seems more chill around him. If I had known it would be like this, I would have suggested it from the beginning.
It’s a full twenty-four hours after the news breaks before Paige finally gets me alone. In all honesty, I’ve been avoiding her, afraid the guilt might kick in.
“Okay, spill it,” she says once she’s cornered me on the bus. I can barely manage to get the words out. She stares at me with those wide, innocent eyes of hers as I explain that Levi and I are giving it a shot, but taking it slow. I suppose it’s not technically a lie. We are giving something a shot—I just don’t mention the effort is for a farce.
“Oh. My. God.” She finally whispers. “This is amazing!”
“Paige.” I hold up a hand in warning. “You need to not make this a huge deal. It’s brand new, and we don’t—”
“It’s perfect!” she squeals, throwing her arms around me. “Perfect! I am so totally Team Kevi.”
“Team Kevi?”
“Karen and Levi,” she says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“Oh God,” I mutter, but she carries on as if I never said a word. “He’s so cute, Karen. And so sweet! Oh my God, this is exactly what you need.”
I carefully extract her arms from around my neck. “Are you not listening to me? We’re just giving it a shot. We’re having fun together—it’s not some serious thing. Okay?”
She waves away my rationale. “It doesn’t have to be totally serious. You should take it slow. But that doesn’t stop me from thinking this is totally perfect. You always date such big jerks—”
“Hey!”
“I’m sorry, but you do. You need a guy like Levi.”
I scowl at her. “I’m not really in the mood for a critique of my dating history, Paige.”
“Oh, come on. I’m just saying, you deserve someone nice.”
“Levi is very nice,” I agree. “But don’t go getting ahead of yourself, okay? We’re trying to keep this fun. I don’t need the pressure.”
She makes the Girl Scout sign with her fingers. “No pressure. Scout’s honor.”
I snort. “I thought you got kicked out of Girl Scouts.”
“Uh, yeah, because I told Miss Mitchell she was a poop face for kicking you out.”
“It wasn’t really her fault. I got caught making out with To
mmy Cooper behind the school building when I was supposed to be working on my cooperation badge. What choice did she have?”
Paige gives me a wicked grin. “It sounds to me like you were practicing your cooperation.”
“I love it when you get all dirty minded on me, Paige.”
She leans toward me. “Speaking of dirty minded…how is it?”
My stomach dips. “How is what?”
“Come on, K. You know what I’m talking about.”
Of course I do. I know she heard Levi mention great sex the day before. I had been holding my breath, waiting for her to bring it up.
When I don’t answer, she leans back, eyes wide. “Holy shit. It must be pretty special if you’re not even going to talk to me about it.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
She throws her arms up in exasperation. “It means, K, that we have shared pretty much every detail of our sex lives since long before you were practicing French kissing with Tommy Cooper. If you’re holding out on me now, I can only assume it means something.”
“Oh, give me a break. It was just sex.”
“So you have had sex with him.”
I sigh. “I know you heard him yesterday, Paige. You know I’ve had sex with him.”
“So why won’t you tell me about it?”
I’m not exactly sure why I don’t want to talk about the night I shared with Levi. It’s true, Paige and I are very open with each other when it comes to our sex lives. We both believe that the best part of having girlfriends is having someone to share all the giggly, gossipy moments of life with. And what’s the point of giggling gossip if you don’t talk about the good stuff?
But something holds me back. There are details about that night that I just don’t want to share.
“Are you okay?” Paige asks, her expression turning from exasperated to confused. “You look…tense.”
“I’m fine,” I say quickly. “I just… We’ve only slept together once. Well, one night, anyhow.”
She lets out a little squeal before slapping a hand over her mouth. “Sorry,” she says, voice muffled under her fingers. “Continue.”
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