They encircled me, my reflection bounced off their big black glossy eyes. Cautiously watching me as if I were the predator. This was a small pack—I’ve seen phins in packs of six. But these three have always remained, three. Their sounds were low, as they rounded me—as most things, they found this playful to surround me. I let out a loud high pitched sound and the leader Nala twitched her head up and recognized my call and so did the two, Chenzi and Hasan. I named them when I rescued them seven years ago, from a mer who’d stolen them from their mothers. It is illegal to slay the phins, they are normally caught for a greater purpose than food. They were used in combat, but since no other mer city will come close to Tahirah, the phins were free.
Nala bumped me with her nose, she was a born leader—much like myself. I rubbed her slick gray flesh while the other two, bumped against me, wanting me to touch them too. In some ways I felt like I was their father, and I believed they saw me as such.
“What have you devils been up to?” They felt my thoughts and let out a high pitch cackle, moving their heads back and forth. They always seemed to understand my other language, though I wasn’t sure.
I didn’t always get to see them when I came out to the cliff, but when I did it was a joy.
“Let’s go for a swim yeah?” I cried an excited cry into the water, which they understood—playtime. I dove off the cliff, speeding down in a spiral, creating a current in the water. They followed me, doing the same. Then I changed directions, and headed toward the kelp forest for a little hunting play. I was the prey, they played the predator. The phins loved the game as much as I did.
The forest was dark, and the only light was that of the bulbs who slowly swam about. They looked like swimming rocks with bulbs of yellow light on top of their heads.
I landed, and crouched behind a thick bush of kelp, watching as the predators split off and searched for me. When they moved further away, I cut across the forest, running, my flippers digging into the earth with each step—the grain of the dirt always felt good. I cackled loudly and heard their response. Nala would communicate with Hasan and Chenzi, order them around. I watched as she twitched her head and dipped lower so that her belly grazed the dirt. She knew I hid low. Chenzi and Hasan remained above to catch me if I decided swim to the top.
I reached down and grabbed a rock clutching it waiting for the perfect time to toss it. My heart moved rapidly against my bones. Over the years, this play had become a favorite time for me.
Nala was far enough, so I threw the rock, knocking her on her head. She snapped around and sped my way. Once she caught glimpse of me she signaled to the two and I took off running, weaving in and out between the kelp. She was close on me and so were the two above. I continued running and saw the edge of the forest. If I stepped outside the forest now, I would be easy to spot, so I stopped abruptly, and jumped spinning backward, kicking up dirt and barely moving above Nala—I grazed her slick back with my hand, it was like insulting her skill, I touched her while I was making a getaway. She cried and I continued to swim to the other side of the forest. I was a ways ahead of them and left them behind in the forest for the open sea.
I waited on the cliff for them to show and when they made it, all three slammed their noses into my back, pushing me over the edge. I played only a little longer. Because I knew soon enough I had to return home and deal with...with my problem.
“Alright you devils. Stay out of the sights of the killers. Till we meet again.” I patted each of them on the head.
The entrance to my cave was in a deep dark hole in the earth. The darkness stretched and led to an unknown place I’d never explored. Some believed spirits of the dead rested in the darkness, others say the last of our ancestors are hidden in the shadows never wanting to be found. I didn’t care either way, I’d leave them in peace.
I fell over the edge and into the shadows void that not even my eyes could see. The pull from the current sucked me in, forcefully pushing me through the wide tunnel. I kept my hands at my side while the water hugged me, spinning me around as I traveled through the tunnel.
I inhaled a lung full of air, once I reached the cave. My hair hung down over my face and so I threw my head back to get a clear view of the room. I was alone, which was good, I needed to think.
Aella left food for me as usual. After I finished my meal, I went into the heating quarters to abate the day. I slid into the water and listened to the trickle of it drizzle down the walls, and drip onto the floor. The sound was comforting, relaxing. I was one with water. It knew me the way no one else did. Touched me in a way no one could. Water the open sea was my place of refuge. It knew my anger, my secrets, my weaknesses.
I closed my eyes to listen to the whisper of the water. It whispered her name and I listened, deeply and then her face appeared in my mind. And then I saw him…
“Ben.” I spat his name like the squid spat its filthy black waste! How and why was he here? I did not understand how this happened. He was a flaw in my plan and I needed to get rid of him. But how? If I killed him, I would be punished. There had to be a reason for his presence…no, there was no purpose for him here. How could I think this would be easy, that taking my throne would be so simple?
I have never felt so envious…anger and hope together create conflict, confusion, which I was. What should my next move be? What was I to do in this situation?
If it not been for her I would have killed this creature she called Ben, this creature she cared for. He was not welcome in my home and yet he was here. Sometimes I wondered if my compassion too was my enemy.
Maybe I am a fool as my brothers believed. What about me that makes me feel, that my brothers do not? The way of my father, I have always been obedient to his rule. His words controlled my mind, my heart. Too, it was my obedience and compassion that has made me the chosen one, the head of the kingdom…
As the thought of being reckless pressed my mind, I knew I could not proudly live that way. I could never be like them.
How then Adonai, would this unfold? He answered… patience. Not the answer I was hoping, but at least He answered me.
To think I had to go through this at all…if only Halima, if only my mother, if she had stayed…but I cannot blame her, she loved my father for centuries before I was ever born. Her pain runs deeper than the seas…but also Minkah and Aarif would never have betrayed me and my father had she been here.
Does she live?
“Mother? Halima the Gentle, do you live?” Two fingers over my heart, I closed my eyes and saw her face, her soft smile and genuine eyes…I missed her.
“Lord…” My eyes opened at the sound of Aella’s voice.
“What is it?” Lazily my eyes closed again.
“She carries the royal shell.” Urgency, excitement in her words.
“Hmm…how do you know this?” I sighed deeply, enjoying the tepid water. If she does carry the royal shell, that would mean one thing. My brothers did as they said—stole and left it at the surface—so that my off spring could not take the seat. Meaning their off spring would.
“She wanted to share something with me…I saw it in the spirit.”
“But did she share?”
“No.”
“Then…”
“I know it, she has it. Adonai showed me.”
“Have you consulted the stone?”
“Yes…”
“And?”
“Nothing.”
“Well then, until she reveals this, we can’t rejoice. I know your visions have always proved correct, but we must always remain cautious. And if the stone has not shown you, then we cannot confirm until she manifests. Control, Aella, control.”
“My Lord, you know you need the shell…”
“For my son to take seat.”
“Eventually it is what you want? For your son to…”
“Yes. But it is not my worry, leave all things to Him…leave me.”
I drifted off, and in that moment I saw her face again. As much as I warned myself to s
tay away, I had to see her. If all I needed was patience, then maybe I could keep her…them longer than I had planned.
Soundlessly, I walked up the tunnel to their quarters. Pressing my back against the wall, I crouched low and peered into the room. The lighting was gone, but I saw easily in darkness.
There she was, in his arms, sleeping peacefully. She felt safe with him. I knew this. It was evident. Her heart was at ease with him.
“Patience.” I whispered as I set foot into the room.
She was laid on her side, and so I laid on mine, and watched her. I ran my finger across her lips, they were plump and soft. Her face was warm under my palm and the gentle spirals in her hair, I twirled around my finger.
“Angel.” I whispered. Her eyes opened and widened as she saw me. She was afraid, but I was nothing to fear. I opened my mind and touched hers, telling her that I wouldn’t hurt her. She opened her mouth to speak. But I placed my finger over her lips and continued to stare at her admiring the tone of her skin, the brown in her eyes. Beautiful, I thought and she relaxed her eyes, though her body remained tense. I took her hand between mine and placed it over my heart and then sat up, and left before he woke.
“What’s wrong?” I heard him ask. He cared for her. His heart was heavy with love for Eva. So much that it pierced my heart and weakened me. I found myself on my knees crawling out of the tunnel. This would never work.
“Nothing. Nothing, dreaming.” She said.
Chapter 19
I’ve had this dream before, I was in complete darkness. All I heard was a voice, calling my name. It was as if this voice were pulling me to the light. So I opened my eyes, my heart beating wildly and he was there. Staring at me, smiling softly. I opened my mouth to say something out of nerves, but he stopped me and I was frozen in fear. I thought to wake Ben—not that I believed he could protect me against Hanan, but at least I wouldn’t be alone, he would have left if Ben were awake.
I fell into a heavy gaze with him, it was impossible not to, his eyes were beautiful. They glowed a gentle light in the dark.
I thought I heard a faint voice whisper in my head, telling me that he wouldn’t hurt me. I wasn’t sure if it was the voice in my head or the calmness, and honesty in his eyes that told me. There was a natural attraction between us. A pull a magnetism that was strong and sudden, crashing down on me like violent waves. Something inside me told me that I needed him.
He pressed his fingers against my lips and I heard the voice again whisper beautiful. I relaxed a little. He smiled again and reached to touch my hair and then my face.
After what seemed like thirty minutes he grabbed my hand, pressed it over his heart, and then he was gone. I held my breath for a minute, not fully understanding what just happened, staring into the dark hole he vanished into—wondering if he remained in the dark, watching me? Would he always watch me?
“What’s wrong?” Ben asked in a groggy voice, yawning on the last word.
“Nothing. Nothing, dreaming.” I patted his hand and closed my eyes, praying I’d wake up in my bed.
The next morning, I woke up to breakfast waiting for us. There was bread and cheese and crab, shrimp and bottled water…I stared at Ben who was just waking. He stretched his arms and yawned slow and hard, freezing before the big exhale.
“Look at this…” I held up the dinner roll and a bottle of water. “It’s bread…and water.” My heart jolted as the words leapt from my tongue, I didn’t think I’d ever see bread again. I pressed it against my nose and inhaled. It didn’t exactly smell like fresh baked but it was close enough to it.
He rubbed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, how did they get bread? And where did they get the water?”
“I don’t know.” I didn’t care, I cracked open the top and guzzled it down.
The cheese was sharp and was so nice on my palate that I danced around with a mouthful. It was one of those moments I never thought I’d see again. Happiness. Ben laughed while I danced, throwing pieces of bread at me. You would think we’d been here a lifetime the way we were acting. “If only we had butter.”
Aella came into the room while I danced around and gathered the remaining food.
“What do you call this?” She asked, picking up the cheese, placing it under her nose, she sniffed and then frowned.
“Cheese.” I stopped my silliness to answer her.
“It tastes and smells awful.”
“How did you get it?” I asked.
“Well…while you slept, I went out and found the beast—I took everything that I could that looked like surface food.” My high came plummeting down and all I could think about was my family on that ship. My stomach contracted and I rushed to a corner and let it out.
“They’re alive.” I whispered to myself. “Have to be.” I took a deep breath and took the bottle of water Ben handed to me from behind. He rubbed my back.
“It’s gonna be okay, Eva. Just think of something else.” Easy for him to say, his family was safe and sound. I swished water around in my mouth and spat it out, God what I wouldn’t give for some toothpaste.
“If you want to look at everything I gathered you can follow me.” Aella said. I slowly rose to my feet and turned to follow her. Ben grabbed my hand as we walked and I squeezed it, he was all I had right now.
We rounded the stone wall leading to the very first room we woke up in and Hanan was there, digging through a pile of “surface creature,” things. He looked up and then down at my and Ben’s joined hands. He straightened up and smiled a faint smile.
“Can you tell me what these things are?” He looked sincerely intrigued.
I dropped Ben’s hand and walked over to the stone table and began sifting through some of the things. “Toothbrush, three toothbrushes!” I threw one at Ben. “Toothpaste.” I glanced at Aella, “thank you.” I could have hugged her.
“What is a toothbrush?” Hanan asked. He grabbed the brush from my hand, smelling it turning it this way and that, eyeing it quizzically.
I smiled big, “to clean these.” I tapped my nail against my teeth. While he still sat baffled at the brush I continued to sift through more, hoping for soap. “Shampoo! Conditioner!” A sealed bag of little bottles…there wasn’t any soap, no lotion, no brush no comb. I found a cracked mirror and stared at the horrific sight of me. “Oh my God.” My hair looked like a fried haystack, my skin was just gross, there were bags under my tired eyes…I wanted to break the mirror, but Hanan snatched it from my hand.
He looked right to left, touching his hair…his angular face with cheekbones sharp as jagged stone. “Is this me?” He touched the shell pressed into his cheek. “I’ve seen myself, but never this clear…What do you call this?”
“A mirror.”
“Mirror? Aella, look.” He turned the mirror to face her.
“No.” She raised her hand to block her reflection. “I don’t want to see.” She touched her scar. “I’ve already looked.”
Hanan turned the mirror back to him and stared at his self, and by the looks of it he was admiring his odd beauty. He brought the mirror close to study his eyes and then went back to caressing the shell on his face, baring his teeth and clicking them together. “Why are yours so white?”
“Toothpaste.”
“Hmmm…” He smiled at himself. He was beautiful, even with the shell on his face.
I turned to Aella. “Can you take me back to the room with the water? Where you took us yesterday? I’d like to brush my teeth.”
“Hanan will have to take you, I need to go back to the beast and collect more things for you and Ben.”
“Um, okay.” I answered nervously.
As days and time passed in the cave Ben and I kept ourselves busy doing whatever we could with Aella and Hanan to keep our minds from drifting. It was the only cure and way to acquire any peace and rest at night, for me at least.
With Aella we worked to discover more caves; we already lived in a labyrinth of caves, how many more did we need
? We jumped through dark holes of rushing water to end up in uncharted places—it was exciting—was something I had never done—I was never very adventurous. I have always kept myself in the safety zone, so to speak. As a matter of fact, jumping in the water to save Ben was the most dangerous and risky thing I had ever done. And look where that has landed me…leagues under water with some human non-human people. I chose a great time to be brave and reckless. Then again, I was sort of having fun in my new life. My dad would always say, no matter where you are in life you choose to be happy; you can find joy in even the worst things. And my joy today was that I didn’t have to go to work, I was on an extended vacation where lunch breakfast and dinner was prepared for me (grant it, it was the same thing everyday). Warren wasn’t invading my privacy, and GG wasn’t using me to get to my brother, (though I missed them both). No more asthma. That was the best part of this. All my life I’ve battled with an incurable disease and now I’m cured… Also Aella partially filled the void of loneliness, we became friends. That was my joy. I clung to the little things.
The first hole we jumped through was a hole in the room where the weapons were kept—though it wasn’t the only hole in the cave, it was the first. And I know what you’re thinking; I thought you were afraid of water? Not anymore, whatever Hanan did to Ben and I when he rescued us, gave us the ability to breath under water and so, I would never be able to drown again. Plus, it was either sit in a cave staring at a wall all day and go crazy, or see something I’ve never seen.
The first time I jumped into that hole of rushing water, the first time I inhaled, it was like being born again. And so the christening began. I closed my eyes to abate the fear, to press forward. As I listened to the water all around me, bubbling, sloshing, gurgling…I held my breath and waited for the moment that I would be forced to breathe, forced into a new adventure, a new chapter in my life. A life as a maid.
I waited unmoving, allowing my body temperature to adjust to the cold water. And as I sat there in my moment of serenity, I heard a voice in my head. “Are you okay?” The voice sounded like Aella. Confused my eyes flickered open and she stared at me, just reaching to touch my face. “Are you okay?” I just stared, because a soft hue of blue light filled the tunnel and it was beautiful. I didn’t know where it came from but, I fell into a deep hypnosis. Finally I looked to her slightly distorted face—the water made everything slightly distorted. I could feel the question in my gaze as my eyes squinted in uncertainty. I knew they had power…
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