Unexpected Dreams: Dream Series, Book 4

by Isabelle Peterson

  Opening the door was like getting hit with a Mack Truck. He stood there in a tight fitting long-sleeved white t-shirt, which looked amazing against his skin tone. Add to that his scruffy jaw, bright eyes, and crooked smile and my resolve to break off things with him weakened considerably. I pulled the door wide and invited him inside, but didn’t anticipate the brush of his lips on mine as he passed me. I almost cried they felt so good. When he pulled away, I hastily checked the street to see if any neighbors might have seen what just happened. Relieved to find the street quiet, I closed the door, and realized that Tanner had been talking. I think it was about where we were going to eat.

  “Sorry, what?” I said.

  “Medium. Right?”

  “Medium what?”

  Tanner laughed gently—that warm baritone sound that reverberated in my ears and wound through my body, to hug my heart. Wow…I am a full blown sap!

  “Your burger. You like it medium. Are you okay?” he asked, eyeing me with concern…those amazing blue-green eyes.

  “Yeah, yeah. Just a tough day,” I said, waving him off. “I dunno. I’m really tired. Maybe I’m coming down with something.” Like a major case of Chicken Shit.

  Tanner flashed me a look of concern as we reached the kitchen. I pulled down plates and utensils, and had Tanner pull out the frosty mugs and beer.

  We took our seats and Tanner plated us up.

  “So, how did the inspection go?” I asked.

  He started talking, but I had a hard time listening. I stared at him, admiring every angle of his face, the color of his skin and hair. I felt like a jerk. How could I make this work? Stay in all the time with him? That wouldn’t be fair, not to mention ridiculously impossible. Tanner was not exactly the ‘stay in’ type.

  “…you know?” he asked, and took a bite of his burger.

  “Sorry, I missed that last part.”

  Tanner smiled while he chewed, then licked the corner of his mouth before talking. “Just that I think the list is too long. I think they won’t take care of it, and the deal will be off,” he said.

  “Huh?”

  “The home inspection. A lot of things that need to be fixed, things done without permits, the termites? Are you sure you’re okay?”

  I was most definitely not okay, but I dismissed his question by explaining that it had just been a crazy day. We finished eating, Tanner detailing the home inspection, and considering just pulling his offer and finding a new place instead of asking the current homeowners to make the corrections.

  Just as I finished putting the last dish in the dishwasher, Tanner slid up to me, and claimed my mouth with his. A small groan escaped me. Holy hell, kissing him was the most incredible feeling. My hands ran over his back and I thoroughly enjoyed every inch my fingers touched.

  Pulling back slightly, he whispered, “Do you know how hard,” he said pushing his hips into me, “it is to eat burgers across from you.” He kissed my lips again, sucking in the lower one, and continued. “The way you lick this lower lip…”

  I crashed my lips onto his, hungry for more. I loved the way our mouths fit together, and how the stubble on his jaw felt. His fingers found my jaw and I felt him smile under my lips.

  “Add to that, this…” he added, grinding his hips into me.

  There was no hiding my arousal from Tanner as he pressed his hips into me. My cock pulsed painfully in my jeans. Shit.

  “I have a surprise for you,” he said, pulling back.

  “Me?” I asked.

  “How does a pair of home plate tickets for tomorrow’s Giants game sound?”

  My knees almost buckled. For starters, the seats sounded great, but secondly, Tanner was certainly not going to be a ‘let’s-stay-in’ kind of ‘thing.’ How was I going to get out of going out with Tanner?

  God, I had really fucked up my life—again.

  “Tomorrow? Wow. Um. Well, I have this trip next week, leaving on Sunday afternoon and had a few—”

  “No problem,” he said, stuffing his hands in his pocket, and clenching his jaw. “I get it. Out. Going out. Being out… I was kind of afraid of this. Coming back to Napa…”

  “Tanner, I just need time. I—” I whispered, totally ashamed.

  But he cut me off. “I get it,” his lips pressed together in a tight line.

  “Do you?”

  He looked at me head on. As I searched his face, I further kicked myself.

  “Look. I get it that this is all new to you. And here…in your hometown? I’m out. I have been for decades. But I’m also not big into PDA. I don’t like to neck in public, don’t expect me to be grabbing your ass, and I don’t run around telling everyone who I’m dating. If I’m asked, I’m honest, but I don’t flaunt. When I first knew, I kept it quiet. I wasn’t running after guys all over the place. I was a jock. I had to keep it quiet. I was still learning about myself then. I’ve had more than twenty years with this—you’ve only started this journey a few weeks ago. At some point, you learn to not give a crap what others think. At some point, you do what’s right for you, not everyone around you. But for now, I get it. It takes time.”

  I stared into his blue-green eyes and marveled at the man sitting before me. I didn’t know what to say. Was he right? Would it just ‘take time’? I was leery. Everything about being with him felt so good. Would I be able to work through things ‘in time’ to be with Tanner? Or would it take too long, and then I’d lose him anyway? “You are remarkable.”

  “Birds of a feather,” he said back. When I wrinkled my brow not understanding why he would say that. “I think you’re pretty remarkable, too. It’ll take a while, but something tells me you’re worth waiting for.”

  I slumped against the counter. Was I worth waiting for? Would I ‘come around’? If I was, and if I did, Tanner was too good for me.

  “Listen, it’s been a long day for me as well, the flight… the inspection…” he said. “I’m gonna shove off. If you change your mind about the game, give me a call by noon. If I don’t talk to you before you leave, have a safe trip okay?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, sure. Thanks,” I said as we made our way to the door.

  “You know, if you have questions, or whatever, you can ask me—I don’t mind, and there are groups all over the place…”

  I cleared my throat, tears threatened to fill my eyes. Tanner kissed my cheek, and let himself out.

  I really was an asshole.

  Well, I’m glad I only asked him to a game and didn’t ask him to go to New York with me. If he was willing to turn down a baseball game with primo seats, an emotional trip was definitely not in the cards. Besides, he had a trip next week; I guessed another conference for work. But he clearly had issues being out in public, especially in his own stomping grounds. Besides, introducing him to all my family who would be at the memorial would scare him further since we’d only just started seeing each other, or whatever it was we were doing.

  I was willing to wait, I guessed. Time would tell.

  Hell, this was probably all falling through. I should have known better than to get close to a guy who was probably, as it turned out, just gay-curious. It’s why I had only dated out men over the past fifteen years. This sucked!

  I drove to my rental place probably a bit too recklessly, especially with a couple of beers in my system, but I just couldn’t believe how wrong I had been. I thought we had something. Would he come around? Could he? I had some serious doubts.

  Ball is in his court.

  CHAPTER 28

  I went into work on Friday, if only to keep up appearances since I would be in New York Monday and Tuesday next week for Phoebe’s birthday. But I was for shit. I couldn’t focus on anything. I watched noon come and go. More than a few times I wrote a text to Tanner changing my mind. But every time I went to hit send, I watched my world go up in flames.

  At the end of the day, there was a knock on the door, and for half of a second I hoped it was Tanner stopping by, giving me another chance. I didn’t know what I would
say, but I wanted that chance. I wanted Tanner. Shit!

  It wasn’t Tanner. It was Aaron.

  “C’mon. Shut it down. We’re going for drinks.”

  “I can’t,” I muttered. “I have to finish these reports for the Millhouses and McDougalls. I should also get a jump on The Tavern’s quarterlies. Dan just sent the numbers over. Maybe I’ll even—”

  “No. Shut it down. It’s five-thirty on a Friday. I know you weren’t sick yesterday, but you still look like shit.”

  “How would you know I wasn’t sick yesterday?”

  “I probably know you better than you know yourself,” he scoffed, giving me his best Father Knows Best stare.

  “I’m fine,” I said.

  “I doubt that, and as fifty percent of Fairchild and Dolan, I’m calling an audible. Let’s go to The Sports Cantina, grab a pitcher or two, some shit food an’ watch the Giants get their asses kicked again.”

  “Aaron, I—”

  “Nope. Not hearing it. If I have to sit here all night,” he said taking a seat opposite me at my desk, “I’m not going to let you wallow in whatever is going on in that head of yours.”

  “Doesn’t Nicole need you at home?” I asked, praying that she did.

  “Nope. Her mother is in town. Which means, I can have the night off. And if I’m out with you, I have an excuse not to be around the house listening to Nicole’s mom advising me on everything I’m doing wrong.”

  I stared at him for a minute. He was firmly rooted in the chair, his arms crossed over his casually dressed chest. At least today’s dress-down-Friday shirt wasn’t a Hawaiian mess. He was actually dressed in a golf shirt.

  “Fine,” I said, clicking a few buttons on the computer to save files and start the shutdown. I stood and looked over at my smug business partner.

  I woke the next afternoon in my bed, fully dressed. There was a trash can at the side of my bed, and a glass of water on the side table. My head was pounding, the room was spinning, and I was hearing bells. How much beer did I drink last night?

  I got up to go to the bathroom in serious hangover mode. My head ached, my mouth was full of cotton, and my stomach roiled with mutiny. I finished with my immediate business, then cleaned up and stared at myself in the mirror. The doorbell rang sounding more like the bells of Notre Dame Cathedral and I was Quasimodo in the bell tower.

  I shuffled my way to the door wondering who it could be, while trying to hold my head steady. I opened the door to find Aaron there smirking.

  “How you feeling?”

  “Shhhh,” I said stepping inside and heading to the couch. Aaron closed the door behind himself after walking in. I wasn’t sure where he went, but I figured it out soon enough. He was by my side with a glass of water.

  “Thanks,” I whispered.

  “Just wanted to come by and make sure you didn’t puke yourself to death. And if you’re up to it, I can drive you back to go pick up your car.” I looked at him, confused. “You were too gone to drive yourself home. I don’t know why I even let you drink that much, but something was needed to loosen your tongue and get you talking.”

  I stiffened, and eyed Aaron cautiously.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Wow. Yeah, you were pretty wasted last night.”

  “Aaron…” I said, my voice laced with warning.

  “Greg. It’s fine.”

  “What’s fine?” I was confused and terrified.

  “You and Tanner. I mean, I don’t know if he’s going to forgive you. That’s between the two of you. But, that fact that you may be…you know…with Tanner.”

  I started to shake as I felt a wave of nausea start to build and I went running for the john to hurl. With my head resting on the bowl, last night came flooding to mind.

  By the game’s end, I was trashed. I couldn’t take my eyes off the big screen that was airing the game in the small, quiet sports bar just two doors down from our office. Every time the camera closed in on home plate, I looked for Tanner. I never saw him, but I did see empty seats. Did he not go because I turned him down? Then again, how would I have felt if he went with another guy? I would have felt like I was kicked in the gut. The only upside of the night was that the Giants won.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you watch a game so intently,” Aaron said. “You have money on the game?”

  “Who me?” I laughed. I knew I’d been shit company. I mean, I listened to Aaron…and replied as he talked about their baby girl, and mother-in-law, and his client load…

  “What gives? You’ve been off lately. I can’t put my finger on it…”

  “Nah. I’m fine.”

  “If you ever want to talk. I’ve never been divorced. And it’s been a long time since I’ve been in the dating pool, but I have no doubt it’s harder when you’re in your forties.”

  “It’s not that. I met someone, but…” I knew my beer soaked lips were flapping but I couldn’t seem to stop them.

  “You did? That’s great! Tell me about her! Where did you meet? How did you meet? What does she look like? You didn’t choose an Elizabeth doppelgänger did you?”

  I shoved my hand through my hair. What was I doing? Why did I open my mouth? Was I on that destructive a path as to ruin my career? I’d already ruined my marriage, and probably any chances with a perfect boyfr—guy?

  “Tall. Brown hair. But not brown eyes…amazing blue-green ones.”

  “Yeah?” Aaron said leaning in. “How’s she built?”

  “Most amazing body I’ve ever seen. Fantastic legs, and an ass that makes you appreciate being a guy.”

  “Shit! You are so lucky! Okay. This is good. More details…Good kisser?”

  “Incredible.”

  “And did you…hit a home run yet?”

  “No, not yet…But third base.”

  “Damn…been so long…so jealous! When do you see her again?”

  “I dunno. Saw him last night. I think I screwed up. No, I know I screwed up.” I chugged the rest of my beer half wondering how many I’d had.

  “Oh, c’mon. You’re just being hard on yourself. Give her a ring. Set something up for Saturday night.”

  “He flies back tomorrow.”

  “An out of towner? Oh riiight! From the conference! Shit! That’s so awesome! I knew sending you was the right thing to do. I mean, I had to because Nic… Anyway. What firm is she with? Maybe I know her.”

  I couldn’t believe that I’d given so many hints, and not one registered with him. Maybe he’d had as much to drink as I had.

  “Wait,” he said staring at me. “Did you say he flies back tomorrow?”

  I grabbed the pitcher, poured the last of it into my glass, and chugged it. I plonked my glass down and belched. “Yup.”

  The silence was deafening. I couldn’t bring myself to look at Aaron’s face, but I was certain it was going to be an expression I had never seen before.

  “I’m gonna get a new pitcher,” he said as he stood, grabbed the empty, then headed over to the bar.

  What the fuck? What did I just do? Maybe I just sell my half of the business to Aaron now—let him keep it, Tanner lets this house with the inspection issues go and we buy a place or maybe I just let him keep it altogether…Maybe I move, too… some place closer to the shore. Man, how many beers had I had? Where is the pitcher? I need another. I dropped my head into my hand. I fingered the nine o’clock shadow on my chin, smiling at how Tanner would approve. But would he anymore? Had I totally pissed him off? Was the ‘I get it’ speech legit? Would he wait until I got my bearings? God, this sucked!

  “Okay. Start from the top,” Aaron said returning to the table. He didn’t bring beer; rather he had a few shots of an amber liquid. He set two in front of me. I downed one and grimaced through the burn. Finally, I found the courage to look at him. I didn’t know exactly what I expected, but I didn’t expect what I saw. It wasn’t repulsion. Nor disbelief. I couldn’t say he was thrilled, but maybe he seemed confused and ready to listen.

 
; I looked back to the empty shot glass, and eyed the second. Where did I start? The night I met Tanner? The kiss? Chicago?

  “So, who is this he guy?” Aaron asked.

  “Tanner.”

  “Fuck off! No way! Seriously?”

  I looked around to see who was staring after Aaron’s outburst. Surprisingly, the bar was only half full, but everyone there was celebrating the Giants’ win. I looked at Aaron and nodded.

  “Wait. He’s…You’re…You gotta help me out here, man.”

  “He’s gay. I’m…bi?”

  “I need a minute to process this. Or maybe more than a minute. What?”

  Aaron knocked back one of his highballs of the amber scotch. “Tanner Williams. Professional soccer player. Gay.”

  I nodded.

  “And you. Prop eight supporter? Where are the cameras? Where’s Ashton? I’m being punked, aren’t I?” He looked around wildly, waiting for producers and TV cameras from Ashton Kutcher’s TV show PUNKED to emerge from a hallway or door.

  “I’m serious. And I was wrong.” I offered.

  “Sorry, buddy. I’m not buying it. You’re not ‘bi.’ No way. You were married…to a hot woman, might I add. You created three kids. You just had some failed blind dates after the divorce. Doesn’t make you gay, but Tanner? Seriously? I mean, nothing wrong with that, but he’s so…manly. A professional athlete. He was so cool at that barbeq—wait, was he there at your place…as your date?”

  I shook my head. “No. I mean, I guess, but it wasn’t like that.”

  “Tell me what it is like. I need help, man. I mean, you can skip the gory details, but help me catch up.”

  I spent the next five minutes giving Aaron the timeline. His judging stopped, and he was really being a friend. He laughed hysterically when I told him about Jeanette at the bar. I laughed with him, which felt good. I finally got to the part last night, where I rebuffed Tanner’s tickets to the game.