Unexpected Dreams: Dream Series, Book 4

by Isabelle Peterson

I looked at him skeptically. “What in the hell do you have to be nervous about?”

  “Us. We’re still new. This isn’t just your first time, and I’m so honored to have that, but it’s also our first time. I want it to be perfect. You’ve come to mean so very much to me in a very short amount of time and I don’t want that messed up for the world.”

  I’m not much of a movie buff, but that line there, what he’d just shared. It was ‘cinemagic.’ I hadn’t considered that he’d be nervous.

  He reached over and took my hand, resting our tangled fingers on my left thigh. “So, we could get some awkward stuff out of the way now, instead of later…while in the throes of things. Do you have any questions?”

  Oh boy. I was going to sound so stupid. He jerked my hand, and I looked at him. His eyes were reassuring. I took a quick breath like I was about to karate chop a cement brick or something. “This is going to sound stupid, and please don’t laugh—”

  “Cross my heart,” he said.

  “Are you a top or a bottom?” I asked, focusing on our hands on my thigh instead of looking at him.

  “Wow. Someone’s been doing homework.” My resolve to not look at him failed and I turned my head. He wasn’t smiling or suppressing a laugh. “I don’t really know how to answer that question. I don’t think of myself as either. I’ve both topped and bottomed. I enjoy both. Depends on the situation, or the kind of day I’ve had, really. Some guys claim to be ‘only tops’ or ‘only bottoms.’ And maybe they are, but I have never limited myself like that.”

  “So…how does it get decided?”

  “Sometimes it’s part of the fun,” he smirked. “Fighting for dominance. Or giving in… For example, that first time I kissed you. I was feeling assertive that day. The other night when I showed up at your hotel and you pulled me in and pushed me up against the wall…” He rubbed his thumb along mine, as he bit his lower lip. “That was fucking hot. I would have totally let you top me that night.”

  I remembered that night. I also remembered him turning the tables, so to speak, and him pushing me up against the wall. Then kissing me against the window. My cock was growing painfully stiff by the second as my mind flashed on all we’d done that night. Tanner noticed. He slid his hand closer to my bulge under my pants, not letting go of my hand and rubbing the back of his hand along my dick. I whimpered. I know that I did, but fuck…it felt so good. I wanted him to pull the car over and blow me right then.

  “Do you think you’d have a preference?” he asked, bringing me out of my memories and fantasies.

  “Honestly?”

  “Of course.”

  “I’m a little scared either way. Afraid of the pain. I’ve read it’s going to hurt regardless. And I’m afraid of hurting you. If you’re usually a top and I top, well, you and I are about the same size, so I don’t feel like I’m bragging, but I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Communication. Pure and simple. I think I can say that we both care for each other enough to go slow and communicate.”

  CHAPTER 35

  After we got a couple more awkward gay-sex topic questions out of the way, Tanner and I talked about other things that could make a relationship sticky: Politics and Religion. Hell, if we were going to do this, we were gonna do it.

  Tanner was a lifelong Democrat, which I would have assumed, and he thought it was funny that I was a Republican, although I did qualify my Republican status as being moderate on gun control. So many recent tragedies with public shootings, especially on school campuses started giving me a wholly different perspective. I wasn’t a gun owner, and didn’t frequent gun ranges, so it wasn’t a big leap for me.

  Religiously, Tanner’s family had always been practicing Episcopalians, and he still attended church today, even if just sometimes. I shared that growing up, I went through catechism, and made all my sacraments, and went to Sunday mass every week, every holy day of obligation and so on, but after I went to college, I quickly became a ‘Creaster’; only attending church for Christmas and Easter.

  Elizabeth and I had gotten married in the Methodist Church that her family had always attended, but after the wedding, we never really went to church, not even for Christmas and Easter. I thought about telling him about the Lutheran Church I’d been to recently, but decided it wouldn’t be prudent, since I’d gone to that service, hoping to be convinced that my feelings for Tanner were a sin and that I needed to stay far, far away.

  I also asked Tanner about something that had been gnawing at my mind. “Hey, so, the night we met…at The Den…Bluto…”

  “Yeah,” Tanner urged cautiously.

  “What was the fight about? The one I broke up.”

  “Oh. That. He’d made a snide remark about ‘faggots being able to marry.’ I said, ‘If you don’t like gay marriage, don’t get gay married.’ ”

  “Ohmigod. You really said that?”

  Tanner smirked and chuckled. “Yeah. I should have noticed how big he was before I said anything.”

  We had a good laugh, and I thought about the years I’d spent believing exactly what Bluto said, and how wrong I was. Marriage isn’t about a man and a woman. It’s about two people who love and care about each other. My marriage to Elizabeth was far from a true marriage.

  The rest of the ride Tanner talked about his teammates and some of his career highs and even the lows. I talked about my kids; they were far more exciting than my job.

  By the time we arrived at Tanner’s mother’s place on Shore Road in Chatham, it was about five-thirty. We pulled up to the charming house, aptly called a ‘Cape Cod Style’ that backed up, literally, to the Atlantic Ocean. There was a sandbar that was visible, but for all intents and purposes, we were on the ocean. The Cape is shaped like the arm of a man flexing his bicep, and Chatham is literally at the farthest point of the elbow, jutting out to the water. I could only imagine the cost of such real estate, but fully got why his mother would buy it. Tanner assured me it wasn’t the price of the home that was steep, rather the insurance and taxes. Getting out of the car, the sound of the surf washed over me, and I did feel the serene peace that Tanner said he always felt here.

  Tanner grabbed our bags from the trunk as I stood admiring the view and came up beside me. “If you like this view, you’ll like the view from my room better.”

  I couldn’t help myself and said, “Anywhere you are is a good view.”

  “Ooohh, careful. Talk like that might end you up on your back.”

  My body heated imagining just that. When Tanner took my hand, I let him lead me up to the house without any hesitation.

  Inside, things were nice, but could use some updating, but since this wasn’t a year round residence, I understood why things were ‘tired’. As Tanner gave me the quick tour downstairs, pointing out the half bath and the kitchen, he mentioned that tomorrow, we’d head out for breakfast and could pick up some things at the grocery store, maybe grill out back. This place was starting to sound like heaven. We climbed the stairs, and I took in photos of Tanner and his sister and her family that lined the walls. On the one hand, I was glad that Tanner wasn’t in any of these photos with other guys, but I was also sad that I’d had a more or less loving, even if not satisfying, past twenty years with someone else. There were also pictures of Tanner’s father. It was nice that they kept his memory here.

  We started down the hallway that was at the front of the house, and all the bedrooms were at the back to optimize the views. Tanner’s mother’s room was to the right. His niece and nephew had the next room, followed by Samantha and George’s room, leaving Tanner’s at the far end of the hallway.

  We stepped into the room, tastefully decorated in dark blues and browns, and I admitted that Tanner was right. The view from his room was incredible.

  Across the whole back of the room were floor to ceiling windows, with sliding doors in the center. The doors led to a balcony that, Tanner explained, stretched all along the back of the house. Tanner set my bag down and walked up behind me and rested hi
s chin on my shoulder as I gawped at the endless miles of water stretched before me. I half wondered why his mother didn’t just make this her full-time residence.

  “We’ll have the next couple of days to catch this view, but right now, I’m starving. And I think we need some sustenance,” Tanner said with a wink. “I made reservations for six o’clock. We should get going before we’re too late.”

  I turned to Tanner and stared at him in the eye. “Thank you. For bringing me here, and being an amazing man.”

  He leaned in and sweetly pressed his lips to mine. “Thank you for opening yourself up to me and for taking all my crap.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I feel like I’ve been a mess for you. Oliver, and the nine-eleven memorial things…”

  “Listen, if anyone needs to apologize it’s me. I’m the asshole who pushed you away, and was indecisive,” I asserted.

  Tanner kissed me to stop the discussion. “Let’s just say we’re even then.”

  “Deal.”

  We both used the bathroom and freshened up a bit after the long drive, then headed to the restaurant.

  Dinner was at a nice quiet place with incredible food. Tanner and I chatted easily and about anything and everything. As was always the way when we were together, conversation just flowed. Sports, current events, where we’d visited, and where we wanted to go. Before we knew it, we were headed back to the beach house.

  We were both quiet on the drive, not an awkward quiet, just both of us sensing that this relationship was on the precipice of going to the next level. After the past couple of hours just talking and laughing, I knew where we were headed was the right place. The thought put a smile on my face. Tanner reached over and took hold of my hand. I looked over to find him smiling just as much as I was.

  “You know I love when you look at me, right?” Tanner said.

  I did remember. I remembered the night at the Blackstone in Chicago…after his game. He told me just how much he liked it. The looming sexual tension was ratcheted up a notch. I wouldn’t have been surprised if sparks inside the car could have been seen by anyone looking on.

  The car stopped in front of the house and Tanner said, “Hang on.” He jumped out of the car and walked around to open my door for me, extending a hand to ‘help me out.’ I laughed and took his hand then stepped out. Laughing we walked to the front door, and Tanner held it open. When the door closed, Tanner stepped into me, sliding one hand around my waist and cupping my jaw with the other, while my arms instinctively wrapped around him.

  I felt nervous yet excited, like a fifteen year old boy about to get laid for the first time. The emotion was nearly overwhelming.

  Tanner misinterpreted my trembling. “If you’re scared, we can just do what we’ve done before. When you’re ready. No pressure.”

  I gripped his waist and said, “I have never wanted anything more. I’m just overwhelmed. This is all so new. Nervous, a little. But far more excited. Please. I want this.”

  He pressed his lips to mine and slowly kissed me. I ran my hands up his back and then down, my hands resting on his hips. I pulled him closer so he would know how affected I was at the moment, and I was rewarded by feeling his arousal against my erection. My body buzzed with excitement, and Tanner bit on my lower lip. Damn, that’s hot!

  He pulled back and turned, held my hand and pulled me behind him. The walk to Tanner’s bedroom was both too long and too short. Before we stepped into the bedroom, Tanner stopped us. “Can you give me just one second?”

  “Um, sure.” Tanner quickly brushed his lips on mine once, then again, and slipped into the bedroom, closing the door behind him, and I was left in the dim, moonlit hallway.

  What was going on in there? I tried to press my ear to the door and hear what he was doing. Whatever it was, it was very quiet. I could hear his feet moving all around in there. Was he pacing? Was he second guessing all of this? Was he trying to think of a way out of this? He’d just said downstairs that we didn’t have to do this. Omigod. This was all backfiring. Somehow, this had snowballed and he wanted out. Maybe he’s trying to find a way to say “Hey, sorry, but this is a mistake,” and he was trying to psych himself into saying it out loud.

  Suddenly, the door opened, and a soft glow spilled into the hallway. The door opened more and there stood Tanner, stealing the air from my lungs, and squeezing my heart. I wasn’t sure, but I think my mouth was hanging open.

  CHAPTER 36

  Tanner was standing there, practically naked, wearing only a pair of shorts. My gaze dragged down from his gorgeous eyes and smile, which screamed S-E-X, down his broad shoulders across his inked and ripped chest and abs. My feast of the eyes was halted at the waistband of the loose fitting shorts—silk or satin boxer shorts—and only barely containing his straining cock held within. My salacious appraisal continued lower to the top of his thighs, powerful and thick atop sculpted calves. Soccer players’ legs. And, if a man could have sexy feet, they were on Tanner.

  My eyes trailed back up and I became aware of the flickering glow that was illuminating the sexy beast before me. I glanced into the room and saw that not only had Tanner stripped down, he had lit a dozen or so candles in the room.

  “Wow,” I gasped, my voice thin and whispered. He’d done this for me?

  Tanner stepped back, inviting me in. I took a step, but didn’t enter, instead I stopped an inch in front of him. He was only an inch or so taller, but I did have to look up a little and when I did, surrounded by his scent and the lighting…I was a goner. Any doubt I was feeling was a distant memory.

  I laid a hand on his chest and leaned in kissing his chin then the side of his mouth before I claimed his lips. At first, it was sweet and tender, but then my hand slid upward and over his shoulder until my hand was at the base of his neck and I pulled him to me fusing our lips. He angled his head, and opened his mouth, deepening the kiss as his hands settled on my waist. I pressed my body up to his, but I still had my shirt on, and wasn’t getting the contact I needed. A whimper escaped my throat, and Tanner knew what the problem was.

  Swiftly, he pulled my shirt from the waist of my slacks and went to work on the buttons. When his hands hit my chest, I groaned. His touch was exactly what I needed. His hands rode up and over my shoulders and pushed the fabric away, then pulled me into him, my arms trapped behind my back, still in sleeves.

  Yes. Tanner was taking control. This was what I was after…what I needed. As we kissed, Tanner freed my arms by shoving the shirt down until his hands reached my ass, and then he grabbed a cheek in each hand. Through the pants fabric, he gripped each globe, and his kiss intensified. My hands, now freed, moved back to Tanner and across his broad, muscular chest. Running my fingers over his nipples, he faltered, pausing to enjoy my touch.

  Tanner released my ass and got busy with the closures on my pants and in no time flat, they were around my ankles. I stepped forward a bit so I could step out of them, and into Tanner. When our two nearly naked bodies were fully touching, our cocks, thinly covered, pressed against each other, the energy in the air crackled. His hands were everywhere; one on my back then my ass and the other in my hair, directing our kiss. My hands continued to memorize every inch of Tanner’s chest. Our mouths consumed one another.

  Suddenly, Tanner broke the kiss. His trademark grin slid across his face as he took my hands and, walking backwards, he pulled me toward his bed. I glanced over his shoulder to see that he had pulled the covers back and the bed was ready for us. On the side table, I spied a tube of lube and a box of rubbers.

  This was going to happen. It was so going to happen. And I wanted this! I wanted it so badly that I was afraid I was going to go off like a rocket the second he touched me. I ran my hands down his back and found his waistband. I slipped my fingers under the elastic and pulled him to me, doing my best to let him know that I was ready for this.

  Tanner got my message loud and clear and slipped both of his hands into my underwear and grabbed my bare ass with his s
trong hands. I noticed the absence of sound other than us. In the past, sex with Elizabeth had almost always been with the TV on in the background. Hearing my heart pound, and his lips and moans was a crazy turn on. My cock lurched, straining almost painfully to be released from the confines of my briefs and be touched… or more. I had never been so aroused before in my life, and that thought almost scared me to death.

  Tanner set a knee on the bed and urged me back and the world simply dropped away. I was looking up at the most gorgeous man in the world, smiling down at me and then quickly his mouth was on my neck and then working lower. I worked my way around so my head was at the head of the bed, and Tanner followed along. I felt his hands work on the elastic of my briefs and then my dick was released, springing free, reaching for contact.

  “God, you have an amazing cock,” Tanner growled. I looked down at what Tanner was seeing and I had to agree. There in the candlelight, my member stood, full and proud, surrounded by dark blonde curls.

  With reverence and admiration, Tanner worked my dick perfectly with equal attention to my shaft and head and careful toying with my balls. I was feeling euphoric. He replaced the contact of his mouth on my cock with his large, strong hand and his mouth was on my balls. His tongue gently stroked and licked as my excitement grew and my sac tightened. The sensation was incredible. My hips bucked and lurched with every touch that he delivered with great affection. I would have threaded my fingers in his thick hair, but I was holding on to the sheets for dear life.

  “I love how sensitive and responsive you are,” he said. We locked eyes and he bit his bottom lip. “I want you so much.”

  “You can have me,” I said struggling for breath.

  He breathed hard, concern on his face. “Are you sure?”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever been more sure. I trust you. And I want you.”

  His eyes flared with desire and he leaned over me, claiming my mouth. I finally let go of the sheet to satisfy the itch to tangle my fingers in his hair.