I Need You Always

by Cynthia P. O'Neill

  When Nate was done, he offered us some privacy, so we could talk. “I’ll be right outside the door, sis. I’m going to call mom and dad and let them know what happened.”

  She shook her head a bit. “I don’t understand why we need to talk.”

  I pulled my chair closer and held her hand close to my face, giving each one of her knuckles gentle kisses. She laughed slightly. “What are you up to?”

  “I’d hoped to whisk you out of the office to a romantic dinner at one of the restaurants down toward the amusement parks, so we could watch the fireworks go off as I asked you a couple of questions.”

  Her eyebrows furrowed. “What kind of questions?”

  I reached around and pulled both items from my jacket. I held out the first one, a small velvet covered box. I lifted the lid slowly, so she could get the full effect, as I grabbed hold of her hand and dropped to one knee. “I wanted to do this properly, but thanks to psycho man, he altered my plans.”

  I watched as her eyes began to fill with tears and her hand began to shake. “I know I’ve only known you a short time, but nothing feels right about my life except when you’re in it. When I told you “I Need You . . . Always,” I wasn’t kidding. You’re the first person I think of and want to see when I wake up, you’re the last person I want to see and dream of at night. Any time that we’re apart I feel lost and lonely, unable to breathe. You’re what I’ve been searching for all my life. Say you’ll marry me and be my wife.”

  She didn’t say a word, only nodding.

  “Is that a yes?”

  She nodded again and managed a squeak of a, “Yes!”

  I placed the ring gently on her finger. It looked amazing there. The jeweler had done a wonderful job. I’d asked him to put together a two carat princess cut diamond ring with our birthstones on each side, emerald and ruby, in small triangle shapes, in a platinum setting. It looked amazing on her.

  “How long have you had this?”

  I had to admit. “That’s where I was this morning. I’d snuck out, during one of our short trips back from overseas, for a lunch meeting with the jeweler. He’d helped me design the items a month ago and called yesterday to tell me they were ready to be picked up.”

  “They?”

  I held out a large rectangular shaped box and had her open the lid. Her eyes looked back and forth between mine and the box. “Is this what I think it is?”

  I stood up against her bedside. “If you think it’s a collar, you’d be right.” The box held small chain links of alternating gold and platinum. The gold links were embedded with diamond chips, while a small platinum heart, with a small solitaire diamond, embedded in it’s center, had my initials.

  I leaned over and gently turned her chin so her eyes were facing mine. “As with the ring, you’re it for me, Marissa. I don’t want anyone else. You’re the only woman I want in my life and the only one I’ll ever share my bed and my sexual fantasies with. I’d be honored if you’d allow me to collar you as my own, so that no other may lay claim to you.”

  My lips gently caressed hers, taking special care to avoid the bruising that was quickly spreading across her face.

  When I came up for air, I heard, “Yes, Master.”

  “You honor me, mi amore. But, there’s something more you should know. It’s something the doctor’s found when you were brought here.”

  Her eye’s were filled with apprehension. “Is it serious? Am I going to be all right?”

  I leaned back over, giving her good cheek a kiss. “It should resolve itself in about seven or eight months. We need to have an ultrasound done to pinpoint down a better time frame.”

  Her eyes were as big as tea cup saucers. “I’m . . .”

  I nodded. “I guess when you got sick and on antibiotics, you threw up some of your pill and the antibiotics decreased its effectiveness. We’re having a child, mi amore.”

  She took a few minutes to absorb the news, before asking. “Are you okay with this? I can raise this child on my own, but I want to keep it.”

  “Cara, this child is a part of us. We were brought together by fate and now we have our love and a little one on the way to bring us joy and happiness.”

  She leaned forward pulling me to her for an embrace. “I love you, cara mia.”

  “I love you, too, mi amore.”

  Nate knocked on the door before entering. “Everything okay?”

  I quickly grabbed the collar and put it back in my jacket. I’d wait for the right time to have a private moment with my love, to commit to one another as Master/sub.

  Marissa smiled and held up her hand, waving it at her brother. “I’m engaged to Dane. He asked me to be his wife.”

  Nate came forward to shake my hand, though he’d already known I planned to propose. I’d asked him to meet me at the jeweler, because I knew he’d know best what she’d like and what would mean more to her in a ring. However, I went back, after he left to order the collar. I wanted to keep that aspect of our relationship private for now. Nate could learn to deal with it later, given that he was a Dominant, too.

  “Congrats, you two. So when’s the big day going to be.”

  Marissa spoke up. “Probably after the baby’s born, because I don’t want to be big and bulky in my wedding photos and I’m sure there’s no way we could pull anything off soon.”

  I grabbed her hand. “If you’d let me I’d grab the justice of the peace and marry you now. But, I can sense that you want your dream wedding.”

  She nodded. “I don’t want anything near as big as Ash and Brian, just a simple affair with our family and closest friends.”

  “That sounds perfect to me, love. Why don’t we find out how far along you are and then we can talk to my parents and see what we can pull off?”

  “Your parents? I’m not sure I follow.” Her face was definitely perplexed.

  “My mom used to work for my dad, before they were married. She organized all the office parties, luncheons, his schedule, and dealt with all sorts of details for him and his father. Between the connections of my mother, Carol, and Jackson’s mom, Jane, we could easily pull off a wedding in as little as a couple of weeks.”

  I could tell Marissa was tiring, and I was anxious to find out more about our child, so I asked Nate to get the doctor and see if we could get the test done.

  MY WEDDING WOULD BE in three weeks. I couldn’t believe how fast everything was happening. The hospital had released me within a couple of days. The ultrasound had shown that I was a little over six weeks pregnant. So we’d have someone new joining our family in about seven months. My parents were a little upset with the news, but Dane’s welcomed the news, and me, with open arms. To my surprise, they’d actually hoped we’d hit it off and become a couple.

  It was rare that I found Dane speechless and in awe over anything, but the first sight of our little bit, and hearing his/her heartbeat, left him astounded. The time line definitely matched up, putting us in Australia when we conceived.

  Dane had argued for an earlier wedding, continually claiming, “You’re mine and I want everyone to know it!”

  But, three weeks was the earliest time we could get everyone here. To my surprise, Nate and Dane talked my parents into coming so my father could walk me down the aisle. They had to send the jet to get them to come, but they told me they wouldn’t miss it for the world. It was the first time in a long time that I felt they cared.

  Celia, Carol, and Jane were all anxious to take me shopping for a wedding dress. I didn’t think we could find a dress that I’d like, let alone be altered within the time frame they created. I tried on so many gowns, in a multitude of lengths that I was ready to scream. I didn’t have any luck and time was running out.

  We ended up back at Celia’s house, where she was all smiles as she pulled out her wedding dress and held it up to me. It was perfect in color, being ivory white, the length formal, but with no train. It was sleeveless with a bodice dotted with pearls and what looked to be tiny rhinestones, along wit
h a lace pattern scattered throughout the dress. The veil looked even older. It held an antique looking tiara, with an elbow length veil that was dotted with small rhinestones. “Try this on, Marissa and see if it fits. If it does, then it will be yours.”

  Celia walked me into one of the bedrooms and helped me change. I hadn’t looked in the mirror yet, but when I turned around and gave her the full effect, I saw tears start to form at the corner of her eyes, as her hand came up to her chest and rested over her heart.

  She walked over, playing with the edges of the veil and deep in thought. Did she not want me to wear the dress? Had she had second thoughts.

  “If you’d rather I not wear this, we can keep looking.” I tried offering.

  Her hands reached for my shoulders, holding me at arms length and shaking her head. “No, my sweet Marissa. I want you to wear this. The fit is perfect and you look absolutely stunning, dear.” She turned me this way and that. “I’d always hoped my Gabriella would wear my dress one day, but she wanted something more modern when she married Jackson.”

  She guided me over to a full length mirror that stood in the corner. “Here, take a look and see what I do.”

  I glanced into the mirror and didn’t even recognize myself. The person in the mirror looked like an Italian princess. The gown was graceful, but not overstated and seemed to need no alterations, whatsoever. I could feel myself start to cry. “This is too much. I can’t possibly take this dress. Why don’t you save it for Nicola?”

  Celia’s hand rubbed small circles of comfort across my back. “Marissa, this was fate, otherwise the dress would need to be altered. You were destined to come into my son’s life to save him. You’re already a part of our family, as far as we’re concerned. The night you saved our son sealed our love for you. The marriage license just makes it legal, but you’re already a permanent fixture in our hearts.”

  I turned and gave her a hug. “Thank you, Celia. I’ll take good care of the dress and veil and return them to you after the wedding.”

  “The dress you can keep. It can be your something old. The veil, you can borrow, because it belonged to my grandmother and came across with her when she came to this country from Italy. So it can be your something borrowed. Now we just need to find you something new and blue.”

  I smiled. “I think we have that covered. Dane’s bought me some new lingerie he expects me to where under the dress. Plus, I found a garter that I liked at the first bridal shop we went into, that had some blue satin ribbon running through it. I’d like to go back and get it.”

  She nodded in agreement. “That sounds wonderful.” She put her hand to her chin as she continued to gaze at me. “Hold here a second. I think I have what we need to complete the look.”

  I watched as she walked out of the room and came back in with a necklace and some earrings. I lifted my hair for her to attach the necklace and replaced my earrings with hers. I turned to see what everything looked like and was floored. She’d trusted me with a huge diamond solitaire necklace and diamond drop earrings.

  “Bellissimo!” She proclaimed. We brought Carol and Jane to get their opinions and both agreed that the dress was meant to be.

  I’d asked Dawn to be my maid of honor, and Ash to be a bridesmaid. Dane had his brother Rafe be his best man and Nate be his groomsman. At first we thought we couldn’t get Dawn to fly back, but when Dane offered to pay her way and talk with her boss, she was able to make things work. Nate was another hiccup. A couple days after I was released, he’d gotten another assignment, but this time it was located in Seattle, a bit of a distance away. We almost thought he wouldn’t be able to make it until the owner of the company he was working for offered up his private jet to fly him home for the wedding.

  The flower shop was an experience I couldn’t handle. The smells of certain flowers caused an onset of nausea. It seemed that roses, and some light fragrant scents were okay, but anything strong, like gardenias overwhelmed me. I told everyone that my favorite late summer colors were various shades of pinks and deep yellows and let Celia takeover the planning, since the wedding would take place at her house.

  I’d started having more bouts of morning sickness, so Celia had a few bridesmaid dresses brought in and we selected two differing designs, having Ash and Dawn send in their sizes, to ensure they’d fit. Ash would be wearing the deep yellow, knee length dress, while Dawn would wear a deep pink color, in a similar design. Dane kept it simple with the guys, asking them to wear just a nice gray suite, with color coordinated ties that matched Dawn and Ashley’s gowns.

  Dane and his father took care of selecting a cake. He already knew what some of my favorite flavors were and wanted to surprise me. I think he just wanted to do all the sampling and take some of the stress off of me. I didn’t argue. It was one less thing I had to think about.

  I’d purposefully paired Dawn with Rafe, especially when he got excited about the idea of seeing her again. I don’t know what’s going on between those two, but I know they’ve been talking with one another via phone, on and off, the past couple of months. I figured if there was a spark, why not help it along a little.

  In between all the wedding planning, Dane and I were busy at work. The third quarter was coming up while we’d be away on our honeymoon. So we worked on some projected goals for the sales teams, looked at some potential future acquisitions, and entered in the current figures for each sales associate.

  Neither Dane, nor my father in-law to be, would allow me to work a full schedule. I pitched a fit and argued it, but no one budged, except for Marjorie. She snuck me some figures from time to time, so that I could at least analyze things.

  Our day had finally come. I woke to Dane’s tender kisses across my shoulder, and his hand stroking my belly, telling me how beautiful I looked. I felt anything, but. I knew the first moment I moved, I’d be heading right to the toilet to puke. It didn’t happen often, but when it did, watch out.

  He helped clean me up and wanted to stick around to give me a thorough shower. But, it was time for him to go over to his parent’s house and get ready, while I awaited my friends, mother, Celia, and Carol to come over to help me get ready at Dane’s house.

  I know that tradition dictates that a groom shouldn’t see his bride the night before the wedding. But, everything about our relationship had been unconventional up to now and it worked, so why adjust things based on superstition?

  I walked with Dane down to the front door and gave him a kiss goodbye, right as the door opened with Celia and everyone following. I blushed at being caught in a kiss, but Dane just leaned in and whispered. “I’ll be waiting for you at the end of the aisle, mi amore. I can’t wait to begin our lives together as husband and wife. But, tonight I become your Master . . .”

  My breath hitched as warmth pooled deep within my center and I could feel myself getting turned on by his words. My hand instinctively went to my neck, realizing that I’d soon be wearing his collar.

  I wrapped my arms around him and leaned my head against his chest to listen to his heart for a few beats, before looking up into his dazzling eyes. I couldn’t help but smile, as I realized this epitome of Adonis, would be with me the rest of our lives. “I can’t wait, Master.” I whispered in hushed tones so our guests couldn’t hear.

  “I need to go.” He voice was choppy and I noticed an intense bulge in his lower region. It was good to know that I affected him, too. “I love you, angelo mio!”

  I called out to him, “I love you too, mi amore.” I watched as Derrick opened the door to the limo. I guess he’d dropped the ladies off here and would come back to get us when the time was right.

  To say that I was floating on cloud nine would be an understatement. For the first time, in forever, I had my friends close, my parent’s attention, the love of a new family, a job that I thoroughly enjoyed, and I didn’t have to worry about looking over at my shoulders for Tom or anyone else to try and hurt me.

  Speaking of Tom, he’s still in jail awaiting trial, which wo
n’t happen for another four months. Dane’s not happy about us needing to testify and has been trying to talk with the lawyers to see if we could offer a video deposition instead. But, that’s something I won’t think about any further on my special day.

  The morning flew by quickly, as we started getting ready for our late afternoon wedding. Celia had brought in a makeup artist and hair stylist to attend to everyone. Plus, she had some caterer’s bring in a light lunch of finger foods that we could easily snack on while we dressed.

  “You look so beautiful darling.” My mom stood behind me as I glanced into the mirror one last time. “I’m sorry your father and I haven’t been here for you. I wish you could understand that we’ve always loved you and wanted what’s best for you, it just seemed like fate never worked when we tried to offer you the same things we did Nate. Somehow, we always took a hit with your father’s job or had something else go wrong. I know it seems like we gave you the short end of everything, but in truth, we’ve always wanted to give you the most, because you’re our baby, our precious little girl.”

  I was thankful the makeup artist put waterproof mascara on my eye lashes, because my mother’s words were about to make me lose it. “All this time, I thought you wished I’d never been born.”

  She shook her head, tears falling down her face. “No, dear. We kept things from you that we probably should’ve discussed. We wanted to protect you from what was happening in our lives. We realize now that we need to keep an open line of communication, but instead we ended up pushing you away.” She held out her arms to give me a hug. “Know that your father and I are very proud of you.”

  “Thanks mom. This is all I’ve ever wanted from you and dad; to know that you love me, just for being who I am.” I couldn’t have asked for a better present from them. I’d learned from Nate that the only reason they didn’t attend my graduation was because they were being kicked out of their home that weekend. But, they’ve managed to downsize, find a smaller place to live and, thanks to my father in-law, some new clients have come their way and my father’s business is growing again.